A/N: I posted this on but since the site is acting up I am going to post it here as well..
It Never Happened…Right?
Takes place when Jude turns 18. Jude and Jamie broke up after Jude got back from her tour. Jamie and Kat are together, and have been for the last year. Sadie and Tommy have been together since Italy. Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING INVOLVING INSTANT STAR… ONLY THIS PLOT.
Chapter One: How To Forget
Dear Diary,
Can you believe it? I am 18 years old, finally the big 1-8. Not that it really matters much anymore. Or does it? Man, am I confused! Something happened early this morning at the Studio. I don't know what to do about it. I mean, he's Sadie's boyfriend! She's my sister and he's her boyfriend. How can I let it go? Forget it ever happened, like everything else. I'm not like Tommy… it does mean something. But it was a mistake that shouldn't have happened… what am I going to do! I can't just forget about it…How do you forget that?...
Early that morning at G-Major, Jude's Birthday. Nobody is there except Tommy and Jude. 12:08 a.m.
"So, is that it? It's done?" Jude asked swirling around in her chair to face Tommy.
"Yep. It's done. CD number two, ready for final production." Tommy said facing Jude, "You did it."
Looking at Tommy, Jude smiled. Seeing her face light up, Tommy grinned back. He reached out and took her hands in his.
"This one is going to be a bigger hit than the first. I can feel it," Tommy told Jude excitedly.
"Do you think so?" when Tommy nodded, Jude said softly, "Well, it's because of you."
Tommy shook his head, "No, girl, it's all you. Didn't we already have this discussion a few years ago? I'm just the wing man."
"C'mon Tommy, you know I would of never got this far with out you," Jude said softly. When his gaze left hers, Jude squeezed his hands getting his attention back to her.
"I need you, Tommy. I need you more than I need my guitar. You mean so much to me. I don't know what I would do with out you."
Tommy saw the truth in her eyes. So, Tommy thought, this is it. The moment we've been coming to. I can't do this… I love Sadie… right? It doesn't matter… there is no Jude and I… there can't be, I hurt her too much… it needs to stop.
"Jude, we can't do this," Tommy said breaking through his thoughts.
"Do what, Tommy? Tell the truth? Stop hiding?" Jude asked annoyed yanking her hands from his, "When can we? Should I wait until you and Sadie get married, and then bring it up? Do you want to talk about it then?"
"I don't know, Jude… I just… don't know…" Tommy said lamely.
"That's right, you never know. You just run from your problems, and then say you don't know or it didn't happen," Jude yelled at Tommy.
"Jude, I'm with Sadie…" Tommy said desperately. I have to let her go… I must…
"You think I don't know that, Tommy? I see you two all the time, kinda hard to miss it!" Jude continued to yell bitterly, standing over Tommy, "You know what Tommy? You're a coward. Scared of feeling something real! What you have with Sadie isn't real!"
At first Tommy sat in shock. When Jude turned to leave, he snapped out of it. He stood up in anger. Tommy pulled Jude around to face him. When Jude saw Tommy's face contorted with rage, she lost all thought, except fear.
Slowly, Tommy advanced on Jude. Step by step.
"I – AM – NOT – A - COWARD!" Tommy bit out as he walked Jude into the wall, "GOT IT!"
With her back to the wall, all Jude could do was nod.
Suddenly, Tommy grabbed Jude's face in his hands and kissed her hard. Jude's shock was short lived; soon she was caught up in his passion. She kissed him back just as fiercely. Jude gripped Tommy's shirt at his waist as if hold on for dear life. While Tommy deepened the kiss, he slipped his hands down Jude's throat, skimming her breast, to rest on her hips. He pulled Jude to him roughly, causing Jude's grip to tighten.
Taking the bottom of his shirt in her hands, Jude slipped it over Tommy's head. Breaking the kiss for only a moment. Wobbly they maneuvered to the couch; Tommy fell backwards, with Jude on top of him. Lips still connected, Jude and Tommy both worked Jude's shirt and bra off. Soon, both were top less. Tommy touched Jude's breasts, causing her to cry out. Before they knew it, they were laying on the floor. Tommy lying on Jude, slowly kissing his way down to her breasts.
As Tommy nipped and sucked on Jude's breast, his hands moved down to her belt; quickly taking it off. Tommy left Jude long enough to remove his and her pants and underwear. All the while, she stared into Jude's eyes, lost to reason.
Moving back onto Jude, Tommy kissed his way up her body, nipping here and there. Finally he made it to her lips, taking them passionately. Jude gripped Tommy tight, spreading her legs. Feeling her movement, Tommy positioned himself to her entrance, wrapping Jude's legs around his waist. Plunging his tongue into Jude's mouth, he quickly entered her breaking the barrier to her innocence.
Tommy sucked Jude's cries into his mouth as he continued to kiss her, gently this time. As Jude started to lift her hips and arch her back, Tommy started the age old rhythm. Jude and Tommy brought each other to new heights, to a place neither had been before, until now at least. Jude reached her climax first, Tommy following after her. Both cried out each others name, and then there was nothing but silence. As they came back down to reality, neither spoke nor moved.
Silently, Tommy untangled himself from Jude. He quickly grabbed his clothes and threw them on; never once glancing at Jude. Jude watched Tommy put his clothes on in confusion. It took her a few moments to realize she needed to do the same thing. Getting up of the floor, Jude scrambled for her clothing. When she had everything back on, Jude turned to find Tommy sitting on the couch, head in his hands.
"Tommy…" Jude said quietly.
Still Tommy didn't look at her.
"Tommy… please, say something!" Jude said desperately.
Tommy looked up at Jude, a bleak look in his eyes and shock in his face.
"I can't believe I did that," he said looking Jude in the eye, "I'm with Sadie, how could I have done that?"
Confused, Jude looked at Tommy. After a few minutes, Jude whispered, "Do you love me Tommy?"
Tommy stared at Jude. The silence echoed in Jude's head, bringing tears to her eyes. Then, finally, Tommy spoke.
"Not in the way you want. I love Sadie, Jude. Not you."
Jude looked Tommy in the eye, noticing his blank look. Taking the look as the truth to his words, she nodded as tears escaped from her eyes. Jude turned to leave before she made more of a fool of herself.
How could I do that? Jude thought, how could I sleep with my sister's boyfriend? Oh, god… what am I going to do…
Before Jude could leave, Tommy grabbed her and turned her to face him.
"Jude, you have to promise me something…"
"What Tommy?" Jude whispered.
Tommy looked into Jude's eyes. I can't do this! I can't hurt her, not again! You must. No. Yes. Oh god, I'm going to regret this…
"It didn't happen." Tommy said quietly, hating every word he said.
"Never… happened…" Jude said stupidly.
"Jude, its better this way, please" Tommy said, taking a deep breath before saying, "If Sadie knew, I would loose her. I-I can't loose her."
Jude looked away from Tommy.
"Of course not, Tommy" Jude chocked out, "I-I-It n-nev- never h-happened… okay?"
With that, Jude turned and left; leaving Tommy staring after her. Through tear blurred eyes, Jude drove home. She quietly entered the house, making sure nobody heard her sobs. When she got into her room she finally broke down all the way. For what seemed like hours, Jude cried into her pillow; lulling herself to sleep.
While back at the Studio, Tommy sat in silence. Tears streamed down his face. I've lost her. This time is for good. Why did I do that? I let her just walk away. It was for her own good, right? Right. I love Sadie… who am I kidding, I love Jude. But I like Sadie, and I can't have Jude. I'm not right for her… I'll never be right for her…never. The more Tommy thought about how good this was for Jude, the more he hurt. I need to move on…
Beep. Beep.
Tommy looked over to find his phone beeping. Picking it up he saw the reminder he set months ago. What he read made him laugh bitterly, "Jude's 18th Birthday!"
Softly, he whispered into the silence, "Happy birthday, girl."
"Jude! Wake up! It's your birthday!"
"Agh…" Jude grumbled.
Jude opened one eye to find an all too happy face staring down at her.
"It's too early… wake me up in an hour… or 5" Jude mumbled as she shoved her face into her pillow.
"Come on Jude! Wake up! It's nine o'clock! I think that's late enough for you," Sadie announced as she grabbed the blankets and threw them off Jude.
Jude sat up and glared at Sadie.
"Did you sleep in your clothes? What happened? You look horrible." Sadie said frowning.
"Huh?" Jude asked, then looked down at herself and remembered. "Oh, I was just… too tired to change. Rough night last night, that's all."
"You look worse than a 'rough night'. Do you want to talk about it?" Sadie asked concerned.
Oh, sure. I just slept with your boyfriend, whom I love by the way. Then was told it was a mistake and never happened. Right, like you want to know. Jude thought sadly.
"No Sadie, I'm fine. It's nothing. Stress and all that." Jude said instead.
"Well today should cheer you up. Mom's taking us to breakfast, then shopping. A going away, slash birthday present." Sadie announced excited.
"Cant wait…" Jude said getting up from her bed.
"Trust me, it'll make you happy. We'll have tons of fun. Besides I'm leaving tomorrow for college in California. You'll miss me, I know you will," Sadie said putting her arm around Jude's shoulders.
"Are you sure you want to go that far? I mean… a different country, Sadie?" Jude asked sadly, "I will miss you, even if we don't get along half the time."
"I know, but it'll be good. Maybe we'll get along more when I get back." Sadie said laughing as she walked to the door, "Hurry and get ready."
Jude nodded and watched her sister leave the room. Taking Sadie's advice, Jude quickly took a shower and put her make up on. She put her hair in a pony tail and grabbed whatever clothes were close. After grabbing her jacket she left the room.
I will not think of last night today, Jude vowed, it's my birthday, happy thoughts… no Tommy thoughts…
Jude kept to her vow and didn't think of Tommy once. Jude, Sadie and Victoria went to eat at a local restaurant and then left from there to the nearest mall. Where Sadie bought almost every piece of clothing she could find and Jude bought a few things for her guitar, a few shirts and pants. Over all, she had a blast. Jude and Sadie didn't fight, to their mom's relief; they laughed and joked. By the end of the day all three of them were worn out. Once they arrived back at home, they sprawled on the couch.
"Well, that was tiring." Jude stated. "Thanks mom, I really needed that."
"Your welcome sweetie," Victoria said.
Suddenly, Sadie squealed sharply. Jude and Victoria stared at her as she closed her phone. Sadie looked at Jude and Victoria with a goofy smile on her face.
"You'll never guess what Tom just said," Sadie announced, holding her phone close to her.
"What is it?" Victoria asked cautiously.
Jude couldn't say anything. With the mention of Tommy's name, came thousands of conflicting emotions. She could only sit in numbed shock as Sadie told her happy news.
"Tommy left me a message," Sadie said proudly, not noticing Jude's face become white and blank, "he wants to move with me to California. Said something about he doesn't want me to leave him for that long. That he'd miss me too much. Can you believe it!"
"Sadie, I don't know about this…" Victoria started.
"Mom, can't you just be happy for me? I love him and he loves me"
"Well, what about Jude? He's her producer. He can't just leave." Victoria said as she looked at Jude.
"No, mom, it's fine. I can find another producer. There's no problem." Jude said forcing a calm not into her voice, "The CD is already finished. I don't need him."
"Jude…" Victoria began.
"Well, guys, I'm going to go lay down." Jude announced, getting up, "Well, Sadie, I'm happy for you. I hope you have fun. I'll see you in the morning."
Jude left Sadie and her mom to talk about Tommy. She couldn't sit there and act like nothing happened. Maybe its better this way, Jude thought, now she could get over him. And it would be like nothing ever happened for real. Time to move on.
Jude spent the rest of her birthday sleeping. She woke up early the next morning to her phone ringing.
"Hello?"
"Jude, we need you to get down here as soon as possible."
"Georgia?" Jude said looking at her clock, "It's seven in the morning. Can't you wait?"
"No, this is important."
"Okay, I'll be there in few. Bye."
Jude hung up the phone and got out of bed. After she was dressed and looking a little orderly, she left her room. As she passed by Sadie's room, she heard Sadie getting ready to leave. Jude poked her head in the room.
"Sadie."
"Huh?" Sadie said turning around, "Jude, what are you doing up this early?"
"I have to go down to G-Major. Are you leaving now?" Jude asked noticing the bags everywhere.
"Oh, yeah, plane leaves at 8:30. Tom's coming to get me soon." Sadie announced.
"So then, I guess this is good-bye." Jude stated.
"I guess so," Sadie said softly, walking across the room she hugged Jude, "I'll miss you little sis."
"You too, Sadie," Jude said with tears in her eyes.
"I'll be back for Christmas, kay?" Sadie asked pulling away. She, too had tears in her eyes.
"Okay, I'll see you then" Jude said as she walked to the door, "Bye Sadie."
"Bye Jude. Wait, Jude, don't you want to say good-bye to Tommy?" Sadie asked.
"Um… no, not really" Jude told her as she turned to face Sadie, "You can tell him if you want to. Bye."
Jude turned and left the house. Ten minutes after Jude left, Tommy pulled up. He was pulled into the house before he could knock on the door.
"Hey!" Sadie said happily, kissing him quickly.
"Hey… you ready?" Tommy asked looking around for Jude.
"Yep, here are my bags" Sadie announced pointing to the bags littering the floor, "Want to put them to the car while I go get my coat?"
"Oh, yeah, sure…" Tommy said picking up some of the bags and taking them to the car.
When he got back he grabbed the remaining bags and looked up at Sadie coming down the stairs.
"Okay, you ready?" Sadie asked.
"Uh… yeah, bags are packed" Tommy said as Sadie floated past him and out the door.
Tommy followed Sadie to the car. Turning to face Tommy, Sadie asked, "Where's the Viper?"
"Oh well, I decided to leave it with Kwest at his place for a while." Tommy said as he looked around.
"What are you waiting for Tom? You keep looking around as if you're expecting someone to pop out of the bushes." Sadie said eyeing Tommy.
"Where's Jude and your mom? Didn't they want to say good-bye?" Tommy asked.
"Oh, I thought you might wonder at that. Well, mom is at work, she already said it and Jude went to the studio this morning. She said good-bye before she left," Sadie said, then frowned, "Tom, did something happen between you two?"
"What? Uh…Why would you think something happened?" Tommy's heart was pounding.
"Well… Jude didn't care that you decided to go with me. Then this morning she told me I could tell you good-bye if I wanted to." Sadie said confused, "That's not Jude."
"Oh well, I don't know" Tommy said cautiously, "She seemed fine when I last saw her."
Ha! Tommy thought, she was anything but fine! You broke her heart and call it fine, what's wrong with you…
"Oh, well okay…" Sadie said, stopping Tommy's thoughts, "Well, then lets go."
As they drove away, Sadie thought to herself, there is something wrong here. What is going on? Oh well, I'll find out sooner or later…hopefully sooner rather than later…
Jude arrived at G-Major when Tommy was arriving at her house. Yawning, Jude walked into G-Major to find the lobby buzzing with people. She walked straight to Georgia's office.
"So, what was so important?" Jude asked as she sat in the chair across from Georgia.
"Happy birthday," Georgia said looking up at Jude and then frowned, "Jude there is something I need to tell you… it's about Tommy…"
"Don't worry Georgia, I already know" Jude said before Georgia could finish her sentence.
"You know?" Georgia asked shocked.
"Well, if he left and I need a new producer, than yes, I know" Jude said simply.
"Oh well, then…" Georgia said sitting a little straighter, "I've decided to have Kwest produce you. Since you are already close, it would be pointless to bring in somebody new. Kwest left already to take your CD to New York, so in a few weeks you'll have your CD and ready for sales. Great job by the way. It's going to be and even bigger hit, I know it."
That's what Tommy said Jude thought to herself, will I ever stop thinking of him! No. Oh shut up you! Wow, am I arguing with myself? Yes you are… dang, I think I am loosing it.
"Jude, did you hear a thing I just said?" Georgia asked.
"Uh… yeah" Jude told Georgia snapping back to reality trying to escape her insanity.
"Okay, good." Georgia sat and continued to study Jude for a few minutes in silence.
Breaking the silence, Georgia asked, "Jude, are you okay? You don't seem like your doing fine. You look a little pale and really out of it."
"Um… yeah, I'm fi-" Jude stopped herself, and then said, "No, Georgia, I'm not fine. I am really tired, completely worn out. Is there anyway that I can take a break. Maybe go visit Jamie and Kat in New York for a while?"
"Of course you can, as soon as we launch your new CD, okay?" Georgia said, thinking that was it and went back to her paper work.
"No, Georgia, I am leaving today," Jude told her, "I just thought I should tell you."
"When will you be back?" Georgia asked, not completely grasping the conversation. Jude had never spoken in that kind of voice to her, and the say the least; Georgia was shocked.
"I don't know, days, weeks, months… whenever I am ready for the world." Jude said as she walked out of Georgia's office, leaving a stunned Georgia staring into space. Jude got in her car and went home. So it was decided, she was going to New York. Now all she had to do was pack, tell her mom where she'd be and call Jamie and Kat.
Now that's what I need, Jude thought, spend a few weeks with Jamie and Kat and I'll be as good as new in no time. Well… until I come back…if I come back…
The Next Day-Airport- New York City
"Jude! Over here!"
Jude whipped around to find Jamie and Kat jumping up and down as they waved their hands in the air. With an enormous grin, Jude ran towards them. She flew straight into Jamie's arms, rapping her arms tightly around his neck.
"Umph" Jamie breathed getting his air knocked out of him.
"Jamie, you don't know how happy I am to see you!" Jude said hugging Jamie even tighter.
"I think… I might… have a… clue…" Jamie gasped, "Jude, I missed you too… But I need to… breathe…"
"Oh, right… sorry," Jude said, letting Jamie go and giving him a smile as she turned to Kat.
Jude and Kat smiled at each other before Jude launched herself as Kat, hugging her tight.
"Kat, I am so glad to see you too" Jude said as she squeezed Kat.
"I've missed you too, Jude. I can't believe you finally made it out here," Kat said as she embraced Jude.
"Yeah, well the albums done and I needed some time…" Jude said quietly as she pulled away.
Now standing face to face with Jude, Kat looked into Jude's eyes. Something flashed in Jude's eyes, but it was gone before Kat could make sense of it. Oh no… something happened, Kat thought, something really bad…Jude only masks her emotions when it's bad.
"What happened, Jude?" Kat asked, breaking right to the point.
For a moment Jude's eyes widened and pain contorted her face. Jude recovered herself and glanced away.
"I think we should head home… Kat?" Jamie said. He caught everything that just happened. And like Kat, he was worried.
Jamie looked at Kat, and saw her eyes get misty. Jamie put his arm around Kat gave her a squeeze then put his other arm around Jude.
"Come along ladies, I believe your chariot awaits you." Jamie said as he led them out of the airport.
Once they reached Jamie's car, he bowed for them as he opened their doors, "Maladies…"
Jude and Kat broke out in laughter. Jude hugged Jamie before she got into the car whispering, "Thank you" in his ear.
As they drove away from the airport, Jamie looked at Jude and said, "Welcome to New York!" before heading into the bumper to bumper traffic.
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