I'm glad you guys like this. I'm sorry for not posting more. I've just been really busy. Here's more…
Chapter 4: Goodbye
Dear Diary,
I realized something recently. I realized that everything you want to say tomorrow becomes too late for tomorrow. I guess that's why they say "Seize the day!" Because you loose today too fast and if your always waiting for a tomorrow, you'll be waiting forever. You have to say the things meant for today and you can't wait and say them tomorrow, because they weren't meant for then. When you wait, you come to face with the fact that it's too late and what you wanted to say may never be said. Too bad I never realized this until it was too late.
The day after Tommy left the Harrison house hold, Jude and Luc came home. When Sadie told Jude that Tommy had left and was going to spend Christmas with Kwest, Jude felt horrible. Nobody should be alone on Christmas; Kwest didn't count as not being alone. So, Jude talked Sadie and her mom into inviting, or should I say persuading, Tommy and Kwest over for Christmas. Early in the afternoon on Christmas day Tommy, Kwest and Stuart all showed up. Jude was playing her new Ibanez DTMETBL (guitar I want lol). Sadie was sitting in the living room talking to Luc about some foreign subject, nobody including Luc paid attention.
"…Look at my blued eyed angel… His smiling face…" Jude sung as she watched Luc and Sadie together.
Jude sat on the floor writing away with Sadie sitting across from her cooing at Luc.
Knock. Knock.
Sadie and Jude looked up when the door opened and Stuart poked his head around the door. He smiled slightly at Jude and Sadie before saying, "Sorry, I couldn't wait for you two to get up, it's freezing out here."
As Stuart walked in, Tommy and Kwest walked in behind him. Kwest had a huge grin on his face, as Tommy looked as if he was waiting for someone to come at him with a club. Sadie smiled when she saw Tommy and got up with Luc to greet him. Sadie kissed Tommy on the cheek as Kwest walked over to Jude.
"So, working on a new song? Nice guitar you got there." Kwest said as he sat next to Jude. "Can I hear your song?"
Jude looked over at Kwest and just stared at him while he talked, barely comprehending. Shaking herself out of it, Jude smiled at Kwest.
"It's not done yet, but I'll have it ready in time for tomorrow. I can't wait to get back to work," Jude told Kwest excitedly.
Kwest laughed, "I can tell."
"Sadie! Can you come here?" Victoria yelled from the kitchen.
Sadie was still standing with Tommy when Victoria called. Sadie looked at Tommy and put Luc in his arms before leaving. Tommy stared after Sadie horrified, and then he looked at Jude watching him and gulped. He gave her a shaky smile.
"Tommy can you come here?" Jude asked staring at Tommy.
Tommy nodded still holding Luc and walked over to her.
"I'm not going to attack you, Quincy." Jude said with humor.
"I know Jude, but I made a promise and I intend to keep it." Tommy stated as he handed Luc to Kwest's waiting arms.
"Tommy…" Jude said as Tommy turned around and walked into the kitchen.
Jude gave a frustrated sigh staring after him.
"Wooky at your mommy, she's all frwusterated wif widdle Tommy Q. Uh-oh!" Kwest cooed to Luc.
Jude gave Kwest a glance then rolled her eyes. Kwest saw the whole thing and started chuckling.
The rest of the day and night went by smoothly. Jude and Tommy never went near each other. Tommy stayed with Sadie in their own world. Kwest and Jude started playing Christmas songs on the piano. Luc was put to bed after he was fed. Jude stood and watched him sleep for a few minutes before going back down stairs, she found that she loved watching him sleep. Around eleven that night, everyone left. Sadie slipped out and went to Tommy's for the night. Even though Jude swore up and down it didn't bother her, it did. But it's what she asked for, so she had to take it in and deal with it.
The next day, Jude woke up early. She was excited about getting back to work. Once Jude had taken a shower and got ready, she hurried and got Luc changed and dressed. Jude put Luc in the car seat and left to G-Major. They pulled into the parking lot and Jude jumped out of the car and grabbed Luc and his diaper bag. When she entered, Georgia was the first to spot her.
"Jude! You should be at home, resting!" Georgia yelled out.
"Georgia, I have to work, please! This place is like my second home. Just let me record this one song, and then I'll go home and rest, I promise." Jude pleaded.
Georgia stared at her for a few seconds before saying, "Fine, but I want you to stop the second you feel tired." Then she noticed Luc, "Oh! You brought little Luc!"
Jude smiled as Luc stared at Georgia while she cooed over him. EJ came out of a studio and saw Jude.
"Jude! Shouldn't you be at home?" EJ asked walking up then, seeing the baby forgot her question and started cooing to him with Georgia.
Jude laughed, "Okay guys, I am going to record." Jude turned and walked with Luc into Studio A.
"Kwest, we're here!" Jude announced as she stepped through the doors. Stopping when she saw Tommy sitting with Kwest.
"Jude! You're early," Kwest said as he got up and came over to grab Luc from her.
Jude was still looking at Tommy when she responded, "Uh, yeah, couldn't wait to be back, but I can only record one song, I promised Georgia I'd go home and rest."
Kwest was ignoring the tension in the room as he put Luc's car seat on the chair next to him, "Is wittle Lukey weady to make some music? Watch mommy sing? Yeah, your weady aren't you Luc, yes you are, yes you are…"
Jude and Tommy forgot their tension as they looked at Kwest. Kwest looked up and smiled then asked, "Is wittle Jude weady?"
Jude laughed as she walked over to Kwest. "Yes wittle Jude is weady."
Bending down Jude touched Luc's cheek then his hand as she smiled down at him, "You be a good boy, Luc. Mommy will be just in there," Jude looked up at Kwest who seemed to have a hard time not laughing, "Call me if he cries, okay?"
Kwest could only nod, for when Jude bent over Luc; she had been showing Tommy her backside. Tommy sat there with a small smile on his lips as he stared, after all how often does this happen? Suddenly Tommy looked up at Kwest and raised his eye brows making Kwest break down and start laughing. Jude looked at Kwest like he lost his mind. Then following Kwest's gaze looked at Tommy who at that moment shot her an award winning smile. Frowning Jude shook her head.
Jude stood and faced Tommy, "Don't you have a job to do?"
"This is it," Tommy said as he spread his arms out.
"Isn't there somewhere else you can go?" Jude asked rudely.
"Nope, you're stuck with me for today since this is the last open Studio and I just happen to be the one signed to it." Tommy told her calmly, "I was going to stay away but Kwest begged me to let you use it. You should be thanking me, for letting you use my Studio time."
"Never going to happen Quincy. But since this happens to be the only open Studio, I'll put up with your presence, but Kwest is my producer." Jude said. Tommy in reaction put up his hands, showing he wasn't going to touch a thing.
Jude eyed him before walking out of the Studio and into the sound booth. Putting on the head phones, Jude grabbed a guitar and sat on the stool in front of the mike.
"Ready?" Kwest asked. Jude gave him a thumbs up.
Kwest switched on the record button then sat back in his chair. Jude started playing a slow rhythm. Kwest looked over at Tommy who was starring at Jude as she played.
These two have it so bad , Kwest thought, too bad their both too stubborn. And what about little Luc? Didn't he deserve a father… I wonder if Tommy is the father. It would answer a few questions, and yet, answer none. Damn, I wish I knew the story…
Kwest looked back at Jude, then to Tommy who was looking at Luc who in turn was watching Tommy. Kwest had moved the car seat so Tommy had a good view to the little person inside. Kwest smiled a little, and then Jude's voice filled their ears. Everyone's attention was on her.
"…What's going on?
Did that just happen?
One kiss leads to another
We've gone too deep to recover…"
Jude and Tommy stared at each other.
"…More mistakes you realize way too late
You can't take this one away…"
Tommy rose suddenly, leaving the Studio and G-Major with out hearing the rest of the song.
"…It never happened
Whispered words in my ear
It never happened
Is that why I'm laying here?
It never happened
Tell someone who cares
It never happened
What is it you fear...?"
Jude closed her eyes after Tommy left, her voice getting raw.
"…Don't tell me this
Then walk away
Keep denying what you feel
You're running from what's real…"
Yes he does, always has… Kwest thought to himself.
"… Forget it, you know it's there
Feel it, you know it's real…"
Jude took a breath then continued closing her eyes tighter, the music faster.
"…It never happened
Whispered words in my ear
It never happened
Is that why I'm laying here?
It never happened
Tell someone who cares
It never happened
What is it you fear...?"
Jude opened her eyes as the music slowed, looking at Luc through the window.
"… Keep saying it never happened
Lying in your sexy way
Look at your blue eyed angel
His smiling face
Look at your flesh and blood
And tell me again…"
Jude continued to look at Luc as the music pick up beat again.
"…It never happened
Whispered words in my ear
It never happened
Is that why I'm laying here?
It never happened
Tell someone who cares
It never happened
What is it you fear...?"
Closing her eyes, Jude finished the song singing softly.
"… It never happened
No, never happened
It couldn't happen…
Then why am I here...?
Why is our blue eyed angel right here...?
It never happened…
It couldn't happen…
Then what is it I still feel?
What is it you still fear?
It never happened…
No, it never happened…"
Jude opened her eyes as she finished looking at Kwest, tears running down her face.
Now I know what happened.
Jude looked away from Kwest, just realizing what she confessed.
Oh no… oh no… Kwest is going to freak! I bet he is freaking. I have to go, leave before he says anything, just leave.
Putting the guitar back on the stand, Jude left the sound booth. When she walked into the Studio, she didn't look at Kwest, just went straight to Luc. As she put her hand on the car seat handle, Kwest stopped her from leaving.
"Jude…" Kwest said as he put his hand on hers.
Jude closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. After a second or two Jude turned to Kwest. Understanding her need, Kwest wrapped his arms around her as she cried in his shirt. They stood that way for a while, as Jude cried her heart out. Kwest stared at Luc while he tried to calm Jude.
He looks so much like Tommy… Kwest thought, how could I of not known? How could he not of known?
Finally, Jude stopped crying. Sniffling she let go of Kwest and stepped back giving him a watery smile. Jude looked down at Luc who slept peacefully; reaching out a hand she lightly touched his cheek. Kwest watched her for a moment before speaking.
"What's going on Jude? Why does Tommy not know?" Kwest asked Jude quietly.
Jude gave Kwest a sad smile before turning to sit in one of the office chairs.
"He doesn't know because I don't want him to," Jude told Kwest looking up at him, "that and he's just dumb because Luc looks exactly like him. But he believed me when I told him it wasn't."
"Tommy's an idiot," Kwest muttered, "So then, what happened? Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but Jude, I have to know."
Jude looked at Kwest a second then nodded as she looked away and watched Luc sleep, "You should know the story, I mean you are Tommy's best friend, besides, Jamie and Kat know. It happened on my eighteenth birthday…"And Jude told him the story.
For the first time, Jude wasn't crying when she finished. Whether it was all the tears she already cried or if she was finally at peace with what happened, she didn't know. Kwest said nothing for about ten minutes, just stared into space. Luc started fussing, so Jude got up and picked him up. Cradling Luc, she sung to him. Finally, after a few minutes he was back asleep. Jude put him back into the car seat knowing that he'd be hungry in a few more minutes. When Jude started gathering her stuff to leave, Kwest spoke.
"So, Tommy doesn't know…" Kwest said breaking the silence.
Jude looked up at him and shook her head, "No he doesn't…"
"He needs to know, Jude." Kwest stated.
Jude ran to Kwest in a flash, she took his hands desperately.
"No! Kwest, he can't know! Please, you cannot tell him." Jude pleaded squeezing Kwest's hands.
"Jude, you cannot hide this from him! You have to tell him. If you don't want me to, then you have to! I can't keep something this big from him." Kwest told Jude as he took his hands out of hers. "It's not fair to him."
"He doesn't want to know, if he did, don't you think he wouldn't be so easily fooled?" Jude said frantically.
"He's confused, Jude. You told him it was another guy! He doesn't know what to believe!" Kwest yelled.
"Will you keep your voice down!" Jude hissed, looking back to make sure Luc was still asleep.
"Sorry, but I have to get it through your thick, stubborn head sooner or later," Kwest said quietly, "He has to know. Trust me, if Tommy had a kid, he would want to know."
"Listen I know! Okay? I know! I just can't let him know." Jude told Kwest softly, "I finally have someone, to love me. Me! Somebody who won't break my heart. If Tommy knew he'd mess it all up, he'd get under my skin again! Then he'd just break me, its all he ever does."
"Jude, no offense, but this is about more than you. It's about your child and Tommy too." Kwest said gently.
"I know… god, do I know. I'm just not ready for him to know." Jude said in a whisper as she sat back down.
"By the time you're ready to tell him, it'll be too late. You have to do it soon." Kwest told Jude, "If you don't do it soon, then I am going to be forced to do it."
Jude looked up at Kwest then at Luc, her eyes filled with tears. Taking a deep breath, she looked up at Kwest.
"Fine, I'll tell him…" Jude said sadly, "I'll tell him tomorrow. Okay? Happy?"
"You're doing the right thing Jude." Kwest tried to convince her.
"Yeah, tell someone who cares." Jude got up and grabbed Luc's bag and then grabbed him. Walking out the door, she looked back saying, "I'm going home. Oh, and get rid of that recording, I don't want anyone to hear it."
"Just don't forget…" Kwest hinted.
"I know, Kwest. I'll tell him, tomorrow." Jude said turning around and walking out of G-Major.
When Tommy left the Studio, he drove around for a while before parking down by the docks where he and Jude first worked on a song together. He sat there just thinking.
What am I going to do? I can't stay here and stay away from her. She's too much of a temptation… and what about Sadie? For the last couple of months she's been waiting for a proposal. Every time we walk by a jewelry story she'd show me her favorite rings then stare at her finger after we left. I almost did it, almost asked her… but I couldn't. Just like I couldn't sleep with her… I wanted to, so bad, but not with Jude still in my head. Not when I felt Jude every second of the day. Jude's right, I am hiding behind Sadie, she is my safety. So much easier to feel for her… after all, it isn't as real as I hoped. Not as real as Jude. But now Jude hates me… that's what I wanted right? Her to hate me… I may of wanted it, but it's not what I want now. She'll never forgive me… she told me to stay away from her… that's just not Jude… unless she's hurt. I hurt her, I always do. I always will… no! I won't any more! She deserves better… And Luc… ahhh it hurts to think of him… Of what I want more than anything… for him to be mine! No, don't go there… I think its time I do the right thing for once… Do it for Jude… She needs this, even if she doesn't know it yet …
Tommy turned on the Viper and sped off, in the direction of the Harrison household. Determined to set things right for Jude.
Tommy pulled up to the Harrison household. He got out of the car and walked slowly up to the door. For a few seconds he stood at the door thinking, Should I be doing this? Is this the right thing to do? Yes, it has to be… there's nothing else I could do to make things right, the way she wants them.
Taking a deep breath, Tommy knocked briskly on the door. A few seconds later Sadie opened the door. When she saw it was him, her face lit up.
"Tom! I am so glad to see you!" Sadie said excitedly as she grabbed his arm and pulled him into the house.
"Sadie…" Tommy said in greeting. Sadie reached up and kissed him, but Tommy pulled away. "I need to talk to you."
Sadie looked at Tommy for a moment, then nodded and led him to the living room. She sat down in one of the chairs. Tommy stood by her, and then squatted down in front of her so he was eye level with her.
"Sadie, things between us have been great…" Tommy began.
"Oh my God, Tom, is this what I think it is!" Sadie asked delightedly shocked. A huge grin spread across her lips as she put her hands into his.
"Wha… What do you think this is?" Tommy asked confused glancing down at her hands in his.
"Oh, nothing, continue…" Sadie told him sitting up straighter, "Forget I said anything."
It took Tommy a few minutes of looking at their positions to take her meaning.
"No, Sadie, you don't understand… I'm not purposing to you… I'm sorry if I mislead you…but…" Tommy said gently.
Sadie didn't know what to say, If he's not purposing… then what's going on…? Oh… no…he's not…
"I don't know how to say this, other than put it simply…" Tommy continued, "Sadie… I think it's time we broke up."
He did.
Sadie looked away from Tommy pulling her hands from his as tears filled her eyes, "Why Tom?" She asked hoarsely.
"Sadie… don't cry, please, I'm not worth it…" Tommy said as he looked away too, "It's just… I… there's…" Tommy sighed, "Sadie, it's just really complicated. I don't want to hurt you, but… I can't do this anymore… there's…"
"Someone else." Sadie said simply.
Tommy looked at Sadie sharply, she was watching him. "Why do you say that?"
"Oh c'mon Tom, you've been in this whole other world for the past year. I've known for a long time that there was always someone else on your mind. But foolish me! I thought that maybe someday, you'd come to love me… to want to be with me. I should have given up after the first year. Instead I wasted my time with somebody who loves somebody else." Sadie ranted softly as tears escaped her eyes, "So, who is she Tom? Who is this girl that you can't give up? Who means more than I do to you?"
Tommy turned his head away as he got up and sat on the couch, looking into space. "Just some girl, Sadie. I can't tell you who, even if I wanted to, I can't. Especially because there is no her and I, I'm not leaving you for another girl, Sadie."
Sadie watched Tommy as he spoke. He sounded so sad, so tired. Like he'd lost his heart and gave up hope of finding it again. His eyes were blank, which Sadie knew meant that something was ripping him apart. The same look he left with months ago.
"Then what's going on, Tom? Why are you breaking up with me, but not going after the one you obviously love. What am I missing?" Sadie asked as she wiped her tears off her face. She loves Tommy, which is exactly why she can't let him do this to himself. Can't let him give up, she may have a broken heart now; but Sadie still hadn't given up hope of finding someone that would love her like she wants.
"She hates me Sadie… so, I'm leaving." Tommy told her closing his eyes, "I give up, I'm going to do exactly what she wants me to do, leave."
"Tom, I'm sure she doesn't mean it," Sadie said softly.
"She does," Tommy said with a hand over his eyes. Tommy moved his hand and looked at Sadie, "Why are you trying to comfort me? Don't you want to kill me? Why aren't you crying? I guess nobody really loved me, huh?"
"Oh knock it off Tom," Sadie said harshly, then softer, "I love you Tom. I have always loved you. Only, you never loved me. I think I have known this was coming for awhile now. I was just too scared to admit it, that's why I am okay with it now. In some odd way, I prepared myself for this. Besides, I just want you to be happy. I'll find someone sooner or later… it's just not you."
"Wow, who would have known Sexy Sadie to be more than a brainless Barbie?" Tommy joked.
Sadie reached over and smacked him in the arm, "Shut up. At least I have more brains than you do."
"I don't argue with you there," Tommy said quietly.
"Tom, please, just talk to me… I know I can help! Just let me." Sadie pleaded.
Tommy shook his head and rose to his feet. "There's no use, Sadie. It's over. I have to leave."
Sadie rose with Tommy and walked him to the door.
"Fine, just run. But you're making another mistake, Tom." Sadie told him giving him a hug. Tommy hugged Sadie then released her, turning away, Sadie stopped him. "Do you want me to tell Jude or did you already do that?"
Crap… Tommy looked at Sadie, "Do you have a piece of paper and a pen?"
"Uh… yeah… one sec." Sadie left and returned a moment later with both items.
Tommy took them and walked over the little table by the door. A few minutes later, he walked back to Sadie, handing her the paper folded up. "Give this to Jude." With that he walked out the door and into his car, driving off.
What was that? Sadie thought to herself confused, did he seriously give me a note to give Jude telling her he was leaving? What is going on! I am so lost! Lost, dazed, confused, hurt, curious, and a little heart broken… well isn't this just a great day!
Sadie sighed as she walked up the stairs, went into Jude's room threw the note on Jude's bed then walked into her own room. She crawled onto the bed, falling asleep instantly.
When Jude got home Sadie was still sleeping and her mom was at work. So Jude spent the day changing diapers, feeding mouths; hers and Luc's, and spending quality time with her son. It was around four in the afternoon when Sadie came down the stairs to find Jude sitting on the couch singing softly as she watched Luc sleep next to her.
"Hey," Sadie said sleepily as she sat down in the same chair where Tommy broke up with her, facing Jude.
"Hey yourself, so what's up with you? Sleeping all day," Jude asked giving Sadie a smile.
"Just a lot on my mind, I guess," Sadie told Jude yawning.
"Like what? Do you want to talk about it?" Jude asked concerned.
Sadie gave Jude a slight smile and shook her head, "Maybe some other time."
"Okay…" Jude said trailing off. Luc started to wake up, fussing a little. "And look who's up, the little blue eyed angel himself." Jude said to Luc affectionately.
When Jude went to get up to take care of him, Sadie stopped her. "Let me take him."
Jude looked over at Sadie as she made her way over, "Okay… and why do you want to do that? Not that I mind, just curious."
"'Cause he's such a cute little… what did you call him? Blue eyed angel? I like it… Don't we, Luc? Yes I think we do, yes we do," Sadie said picking Luc up, and then she turned to Jude, "Besides, you could use a shower… maybe even a nap."
"Point taken, and thank you," Jude said getting up. She kissed Luc on the head before disappearing up the stairs.
Jude took a long bath, and then when she was done, she crawled into her bed. Never realizing there was a note sitting there.
Jude woke up to a baby crying. Groaning she dragged herself out of bed. Following the sound, she found Sadie trying to calm Luc down. When Sadie turned to face Jude, there were tears in her eyes and falling down her cheeks.
"Sadie what's wrong? What happened?" Jude asked as she hurried down the stairs.
"He won't stop crying! Then the phone rang, and the door bell, then the buzzer, and then my cell phone… and I can't put him down, he just keeps crying, he won't stop!" Sadie said overwhelmed.
"Sadie calm down, you can't expect him to calm down if you won't," Jude said taking Luc from her. "Shhh… its okay…" Jude said trying to calm Luc down. She looked up at Sadie who was now calm, "I'm going to go try and calm him down, okay?"
Sadie nodded sitting down. Jude turned around and walked back up the stairs. Luc had the bonus room, with the bay window. His room had light blue walls, with light blue bedding in his crib and bassinet, curtains, lamps, almost everything was blue. Except the rocking chair by the window, Jude sat in it singing softly to him. He calmed down and eventually fell asleep. Jude stayed in that position for a while before getting up and putting him in the bassinet. She watched him sleep, and then noticed something missing. Looking around, she found what she was looking for on the dresser. Grabbing it she put it in the bassinet with him, lingering her fingers on the teddy bear she smiled. Letting it go, she read the words written on it… Blue eyed angel.
Jude left the room, leaving the door open and taking the baby monitor with her. She walked down stairs to a quiet Sadie, watching TV. Jude sat next to her and they sat in an uncomfortable silence for ten minutes before Jude couldn't take it.
"Okay Sadie, what is wrong? I can't take this anymore." Jude said looking over at Sadie.
"I don't want to talk about it Jude," Sadie said looking at the TV still.
"You may not want to, but you need to, come on Sadie… we're sisters." Jude said nudging Sadie.
"Fine, do you really want to know?" Sadie asked looking at Jude.
Jude nodded her head.
"Okay… well, Tom broke up with me today." Sadie said without emotion.
"Sadie… I am so sorry… why? Did he tell you?" Jude asked, hiding her whirlwind of emotions. Tommy broke up with Sadie… but why? I thought he loved her. He told me he loved her… what is going on with him? What does this mean…?
"He said he couldn't take it, that he was leaving." Sadie said sadly, "There's another girl. I've known it for a long time, but… I love him, I wanted to keep him. It just wasn't meant to be I guess…"
"Wait, Sadie, you said he was leaving. Where's he going? What are you talking about?" Jude asked frowning.
"Oh, I guess you didn't get the note…" Sadie said trailing off.
"What note?" Jude asked urgently.
"The one I left on your bed." Sadie said. Jude got up and ran to her room. Looking around, she found the note in her blankets. She picked it up with trembling hands.
No he is not doing this again! He can't just leave! Not again… he has a son dammit!
Jude slowly opened the letter, almost scared to know what he said. She read the letter her heart pounding.
Dear Jude,
I know I have put you through a lot. I never meant to hurt you like I have. I was, or should I say, am confused. I love you Jude. I always will, but I know I messed things up. So, I am doing exactly what you wanted me to do. I'm leaving you and Luc alone, the only way I can is to leave for good. I wish I could say more, but I can't I don't have the time. When you get this I will be gone. Goodbye, girl, you'll always be in my heart and my thoughts.
Your Blue Eyed Prince
Jude was crying and shaking her head by the end of the letter. No! It's not true! He wouldn't do this… he can't give up, not again… Jude grabbed her phone and called his cell, there was no answer. She tried his home phone, it was no longer connected.
This cant be happening… it hasn't even been a day, he couldn't have got far. He has a whole apartment, he can't move in less than 12 hours! His apartment…
Jude snatched her keys and ran from her room. Yelling to Sadie as she ran out the door, "Sadie watch Luc for a little bit, I'll be right back!"
"Jude, where are you going…?" Sadie yelled back but the door shut before she could finish.
Jumping in her car, Jude sped away. She arrived at Tommy's apartment a few minutes later. The lights were off. That doesn't always mean he's not home, could be sleeping…
She ran to his door and knocked. There was no answer, so she opened the door.
"Tommy? Are you here…" Jude stopped in shock.
There was nothing left in the apartment. Jude walked in slowly, and then ran from room to room looking for something, anything that showed he was there. Walking into Tommy's room, or what used to be his room, there was a little end table sitting in the center of the room. On top of it was a piece of paper and a phone. Jude walked to it and grasped the phone and note. She stared at the phone, with tears in her eyes. Then opened the paper, reading:
Jude,
If you're reading this, I'm gone. I don't know if I will ever return, maybe one day I will. And then maybe not. If you came here, you obviously care for me, I wish I knew that you were here, maybe then things could be different, and I wouldn't have to leave. Who am I kidding? You do not belong with me, Jude Harrison, so please don't cry. I love you more than anything, but because of that love, I will always hurt you. I can't live with myself if I keep hurting you. I have to leave, so that way you can be happy, and I know I won't make you happy the way you should be. I broke things off with Sadie, for you. I couldn't date her and think of you every second. You were right in your song, I did realize my mistake too late; just not the one you were thinking about. My mistake was leaving you the first time, of leaving you alone. I should have stayed, been with you. But I was scared, and a part of me still is. I don't know what to tell you. There's nothing more for me to say. Except, that I love you and I will see your face every night, every time I close my eyes. All I ask of you is that you think of me fondly, the way you used to. Don't hate me… I'm doing this for you. I'd do anything, including breaking my own heart for you. Take care of Luc, the little blue eyed angel. And take care of yourself, if something ever happened to you, I wouldn't be able to live. Good-bye Jude, I love you… always and forever.
Tommy
Jude fell to her knees bowing her head she cried. Lashing out suddenly she threw the end table to the wall, breaking the leg and putting a hole in the wall. Jude screamed as she hit the floor, shaking her head like a wild animal. After awhile she calmed down, laying on her stomach staring at the phone he left. His cell phone. She knew why he left it, it was his last line to this city, to everyone, to her. Jude grabbed the phone and opened it. A picture of her and Tommy popped up. She remembered the day like it was yesterday. Tommy and her were sitting in the studio when Jude grabbed his phone. She was bored so she started taking pictures of him and herself. When he saw her, he went to get the phone. She talked him into one more picture before planting herself in his lap and squishing her cheek against his and taking a picture.
More tears escaped Jude's eyes as she sobbed on the cold hard wooden floors of the last place Tommy was. With the last connection she had to him. The future was uncertain, whether he would return. But Jude knew one thing… she was too late. That what she should have said yesterday, was too late for today. He made a mistake, but she was guilty of the same one.
Jude ended up crying herself to sleep. Desperate for any feeling of Tommy as she slept in his room; now cold and barren.