A/N: Dixie Chicks "You Were Mine" is in this. Thank you everyone who replied. I am glad you all liked it!

Chapter Six Part One: What's Real?

Dear Diary,

It's been three months since Tommy's return. He won't tell me where he was, saying that it wasn't important. It's amazing how great he can be. When we get home from the studio, he takes care of Luc. Saying that I have had a hard day, as if he isn't tired. Every Saturday, Tommy and Luc go to the park. At first it was a media frenzy, Tommy showing up and then the mysterious baby. With EJ's help we got through it though.

Everyone's great. Sadie and Kwest's wedding was amazing. Even with a pregnant bride, she never looked happier. She's about 6 months along now and spending almost all of Kwest's money on clothes for the baby. All I can say is good thing she's spending it on somebody else.

As great as things seem to be going, I can't help but think that there's something seriously wrong. Tommy is all smiles and jokes, but when he thinks nobody is watching he seems so far away. I don't know what to do. I bring it up and he avoids it. I want to believe he's happy, that he wants to be here, but I can't. I don't think he's ready for this life. I wish I knew where he was before he came back. Then again, maybe I don't want to know. Some things you learn, you wish you never learned. I have a feeling what Tommy is hiding is one of them.

"Jude, I'm going out to meet Kwest. I'll be home later." Tommy said as he walked out the door.

"Um… okay…" He was gone before she could get a word out. Jude stared after him for a minute.

"Mommy?"

"Huh… what?" She looked down at the little face so like the man that just ran out of the apartment.

"Bath time!" Luc held up his rubber ducky.

She smiled as she picked him up and took him into the bathroom. She quickly undressed him and set him in the warm water frosted with bubbles. Setting a few toys in with him, Jude turned on the radio next to her. Leaning back she barely heard the songs as she watched Luc play in the tub.

How many times this week has he been out with Kwest? At least once a day, he even skipped taking Luc to the park yesterday. What is going on? Maybe I should call Kwest…

When Jude saw Luc yawn, she started to wash him; still lost in thought. The Tommy she knew was never like this. She didn't even know how he was when he got home. He came home when she was asleep and would be awake before she woke up. Nothing ever seemed out of place, but Jude knew something was wrong.

She finished washing Luc and pulled him out of the tub. Quickly, she dried him off and slipped him into his pajamas. When she carried him out of the bathroom and to his room, his head rested on her shoulder tiredly. Once his head hit the pillow, he was out. Jude quietly made her way out of the room, leaving the door open.

As Jude entered the bathroom, Dixie Chicks' song You Were Mine came on. She starred at the radio a second; she didn't know it was on a country station. Shrugging she started to pick up the bathroom, catching some of the lyrics.

"… I cant find a reason to let go

Even though you've found a new love

And she's what your dreams are made of

I can find a reason to hang on

What went wrong can be forgiven

Without you, It aint worth livin' alone…"

Jude stopped cleaning and looked up at the radio, listening fully now.

"… Sometimes I wake up crying at night

And sometimes I scream out your name

What right does she have to take you away

When for so long, you were mine…"

She sat down abruptly and leaned back against the tub, holding Luc's discarded clothes.

"… I took out all the pictures of our wedding day

It was a time of love and laughter

Happy ever after

But even those old pictures have begun to fade

Please tell me she's not really

And that you're really coming home to stay…"

A tear slipped down her face, she was scared this was a sign of some sort. A future to come.

"… Sometimes I wake up crying at night

And sometimes I scream out your name

What right does she have to take you away

When for so long, you were mine…

I can give you two good reasons

To show you love's not blind

He's two and she's four, and you know they adore you

So how can I tell them you've changed your mind…"

Jude listened to the rest of the song, tears falling down her face as she gripped Luc's clothes tighter and tighter. All the way to the very last line.

"…I remember when you were mine…"

Before the last line was sung, Jude got up and pushed the radio off in anger.

That wasn't going to happen… that wasn't going to happen… it's not going to happen… he loves me. He loves Luc… he's happy…"

"He's happy…" Jude said out loud, breaking into sobs. She knew he wasn't happy. She didn't know if he ever would be.

The next day at the studio, Tommy came into work alone. Jude told him she wasn't feeling very well and stayed home. She didn't look good, but he didn't know if it was more physical or mental. He knew she was shaken up by his behavior. But he didn't know how to fix it, any of it.

Tommy was sitting in Studio B in silence, fiddling with a small box when Kwest walked in.

"Tom, what are you still doing here? Shouldn't you get home?" Kwest asked as he walked past Tommy and sat in the chair in front of him. He turned so he faced Tommy.

"Yeah, I will."

Kwest watched as Tommy played with the little box, and frowned.

"You haven't asked her yet?"

Tommy looked up and looked away. "No."

"Man, why not? I thought this is what you wanted."

"It was, it is. I just…" He didn't know how to finish she he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"You what?" Kwest asked. Sadie was right, there was definitely something wrong with Jude and Tommy.

"I don't know!" Tommy yelled before he went charging out of the studio; leaving a worried Kwest.

Tommy got into his car and screeched out of the parking lot. Doing ninety down the freeway, he was lucky there were no cops. He turned off and stopped at a red light. He looked right, that was home; Jude. When the light turned green he went left.

Jude was sleeping when the phone started ringing, but when she heard it she was wide awake. Getting a call at two in the morning was never good. Quickly she got out of bed and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Jude?"

"Kwest? What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Not that I know of, why?"

"Why else does somebody get a call at two in the morning?"

"Oh, right."

"So why are you calling?" For some reason knowing that there was nothing wrong, worried Jude more.

"Oh, uh… I just wanted to make sure Tom got home safely."

"Oh…" Jude looked at the empty bed, and then walked out to the living room; empty. "He's not home yet, when did he leave?"

Kwest was silent.

"Kwest? What's going on? Where are you?"

"At home."

"At home…" Jude thought to herself a second. "Where's Tommy?"

"I don't know."

"Kwest, what aren't you telling me!" Jude was getting more and more upset every second. When there was only silence, Jude yelled into the phone. "Kwest! Answer me!"

"Jude… he… he left the studio over four hours ago."

"I know, he called. He said he was going out with you…" She thought about what she just said for a moment, and then tears came into her eyes. "Oh god…"

"Jude…Jude!" He heard the phone drop, and then there was silence. "Jude, Jude!"

"Kwest?"

Kwest looked behind him at Sadie as she rubbed her eyes.

"What's going on?"

"I wish I knew…" Kwest starred down at the phone in his hands, scared.

Jude slipped to the floor sobbing her heart out once again. It kept happening, over and over. She'd let him in; just to get it ripped from her soul. Why could it never be easy for her? Why did it always have to hurt? Just one happy ending… just one… it's all she wanted.

When the tears started to dry, the anger took over. She pushed herself up from the floor, grabbing the phone and chucking it at the wall; shattering it into pieces. She walked over to the many pictures around the house, the pictures that they had taken those last few months. Showing them to be a family, to be happy.

"Fake, it's all fake!" Jude screamed as she tossed the pictures one by one to the floor and walls, shattering the glass and breaking the frames.

At that moment, Tommy walked in.

Jude turned to face him. Rage dripping from her eyes, the tears where long gone. Now only dried paths sat useless on her face.

"You…" Jude roared.

"Jude, honey, what's wrong?" Tommy's gut started to twist.

"What's wrong? What's wrong!" Jude asked quietly then screamed. "You're what's wrong! So, Quincy, where the hell have you been?"

"Kwest…" He tried desperately to use his only excuse, knowing it was a lost cause.

"Oh yeah, he called by the way." Jude announced in a normal tone. She paused, when Tommy's eyes closed, she took that as her sign to continue. "He was wondering if you got home safely, after all you left the studio over four hours ago. So we got to talking, evidently he went home after work, which leaves me to ask WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!"

Tommy had nothing to say, he quietly walked to the couch and sat down. He put his head in his hands. Jude followed him, grabbing a picture along the way.

"Answer me Quincy, where the hell have you been for the past four hours?" Jude yelled at him. "Answer me!" Jude threw the picture at the wall. Tommy flinched when he heard the shattering glass and the crack of the frame.

"Fake! It was all just a game to you!" Jude screamed again when Tommy still didn't speak. Grabbing more and more pictures and throwing them at the walls. She got an unpleasant satisfaction as every frame broke and the glass shattered.

When Tommy got up to walk away, Jude followed him again. She pushed him yelling, "Do you have nothing to say! Little Tommy Q, once again, the coward and running away! Can you do anything else!" Jude pushed him again.

Tommy whipped around and grabbed Jude by the arms and shoved her against the wall with all he had. He pinned her against the wall, squeezing her arms as tight as he could; keeping himself from hitting her. Jude looked at Tommy wide eyed, she was scared but refused to let him see. She could feel his anger, his heated gaze and glazed over eyes. That's when she caught the smell of his breath.

"Are you drunk!" Jude glared at him, going for where it would hurt him. "You can't face your problems sober? Or is it just yourself you can't face? You're so pathetic Quincy. So damn pathetic, so damn worthless! Run away, it's all you can ever do!"

Jude hit the wrong button and regretted it the moment she said it. Tommy's eyes widened as did Jude's. With out thinking, Tommy backhanded her across the face. Then he gripped her again by the arm and tossed her as hard as he could. Jude felt herself flying, then hit something hard and heard shattering before she landed on the ground.

It took her a moment to realize she felt a burning on her face and arm. When she opened her eyes she saw she hit the glass shelves on the wall. Her arm had cuts and blood all over it. For a second she was in a daze as she stared down at her arm.

Picking herself up from the glass covered floor, she winced. She looked up to find Tommy staring at her in horror.

"Jude… I'm…" He started towards her.

"Stop, Tommy. Don't come near me." Jude held up a hand to keep him at bay.

"But, Jude…" Tommy pleaded, tears coming to his eyes.

"No. Tommy, I think you should go." Jude couldn't meet his eyes. He tried walking towards her. "Leave, Tommy, please."

He simply nodded and walked out the door.

Jude let the tears she was holding go as she walked to the kitchen and washed up the blood on her arm. Hissing, she wrapped a towel around it. When she went to move, her foot hit something, causing her to look down.

She looked to find a sobbing Luc, holding his blue teddy bear tightly as he buried his face in it. More tears escaped Jude's eyes seeing her son crying brokenly on the kitchen floor. Jude leaned down and tried to pull him into her arms. But he pulled away from her touch. Her heart broke noticing that.

"Luc, honey…" Luc looked up with pain filled eyes, so like his fathers.

Jude opened her arms and Luc flew into them. She picked him up and she rose to her feet. Holding him tightly against her, she went to her bedroom and her purse. She pulled out her phone and called Kwest.

"Hello?"

"Kwest? Can you come get me and Luc?" Jude cried into the phone.

"Jude? What's wrong? What happened?" Kwest was freaking out.

"Just, please, come get us."

"Okay, I'll be right there."

"Hurry."

Jude was sitting on the couch with a still crying Luc in her lap. She tried calming him but it wouldn't work unless she calmed herself first. Kwest walked into the house silently, taking in the broken frames everywhere and then the shattered shelves.

"Jude?" He asked quietly coming around the couch to get a better look at her. "Oh my god."

Jude looked up at Kwest, tears falling form her eyes as she held Luc close. "Can we stay at your place?"

Kwest nodded silently, at a loss for words. Jude nodded to herself and got up from the couch with Luc still in her arms. Kwest grabbed the bags on the floor and followed them out to the car. The car ride was silent. When they got to Kwest's, Sadie was waiting for them at the door.

"Jude? What's going on?"

Jude turned to face Sadie.

"Oh my God…"

Sadie took Luc from Jude; he had worn himself out and now was fast asleep. Sadie took him into one of the guest rooms and came out to the living room to a silent Jude and Kwest who was at a loss as to what to do. She marched over to Jude and took her into her arms. Jude had tried to hold back her tears but finally gave up when Sadie hugged her.

Rocking Jude back and forth, Sadie, cooed into her hair, calming Jude down. Once Jude was done sobbing, she sat up and looked at Kwest and Sadie.

"You probably want to know what's going on…" When they both silently encouraged her, she took a deep breath and told them the story.

Giggling and laughter woke Jude the next morning. Groggily she looked at the empty spot next to her and frowned. Then she heard the shrill laughter and smiled; but her smile didn't last long. Her face burned.

Slowly she rose from the bed and walked to the bathroom, wincing the whole way. Turning on the light she averted her face from the mirror, gathering her composure. She took a deep breath and looked into the mirror. What she saw sickened her.

Her eye was purple and puffy. Which matched her cheek and lip. Dried blood covered the right corner of her mouth and the top of her right eyebrow. That would explain why Sadie cleaned my forehead… Jude thought to herself.

She moved the hair in her eyes, which brought her attention to the white bandage covering her right arm. Her left hand and arm had a few minor cuts, but it was nothing compared to the right.

Jude starred at herself, not knowing what to think. The moment was surreal to her, nothing seemed real. Her battered face didn't look like her own. She moved closer to the mirror and looked into her eyes.

This isn't me. I look so empty. How could he do this to me? He would never hurt me. Tears formed in her eyes and slowly rolled down her cheeks. Deforming her face even more. This can't be happening… It never happened… It never happened…

Taking a step away from the mirror and sink, Jude fell to the floor. Grabbing the shower curtain, she pulled as hard as she could.

"It never happened… it never happened… it never happened…" She chanted over and over again, closing her eyes tight. "It never happened!" The shower curtain gave up against her pull and came tumbling down.

Sadie walked in to find a sobbing Jude, holding onto the shower curtain as if it was her last ray of hope. Holding her hands out, Sadie beckoned Jude; "Come on, Jude."

Jude looked up and starred at Sadie's outstretched hands. Silently, she reached up and grasped them tightly as she got to her feet. The stood facing each other, Sadie watching Jude as she looked away.

"It's going to be okay Jude." Jude looked at Sadie when she spoke. "We'll get you through this, Kwest and I. I promise."

Jude gave her a sad smile. Sadie smiled back and squeezed her hand before she led Jude out of the bathroom and out of the bedroom. The walked through the hall and down the stairs, hand in hand.

Kwest looked up from helping Luc stir the pancake batter, and smiled as they entered the kitchen. "Morning, I hope you're extra hungry."

Jude smiled back, glad there was no pity in his gaze. "Starving."

"Mommy, I make pancakes!" Luc announced lifting his little hands in the air showing her his floured hands.

"And it smells good." Jude leaned over and kissed him noisily on his cheek causing him to giggle.

She turned and left Kwest and Luc to cooking, as she walked over to Sadie sitting at the table. Sadie had her hands folded over her bulging stomach as she watched Kwest with Luc, smiling. Jude followed her gaze and smiled slightly, but soon her smile was gone.

The scene reminded her of how she used to wake up with Tommy and Luc making breakfast. She'd come down the stairs to laughter and sit at the counter smiling at them.

Sadie saw Jude's faraway look and grabbed her hand. She was brought back to reality as she looked at Sadie.

"It's going to be okay, Jude." Jude could only nod.

All day, Jude had a bad feeling at the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong. Nobody had heard anything from Tommy. Despite what he did, Jude was still worried about him.

"Breaking news… a car drove over the side of the Emerson Bridge. We're taking you live to Kathy on the scene…"

Jude looked up from the place she sat on the floor, playing with Luc. Kwest and Sadie sat on the couch to the side of her.

"Some time late last night, the driver of this vehicle…"

Jude's eyes opened wide as she watched them higher the car from the water below the bridge.

"… a 2004 dodge viper, swerved off the bridge, hitting the barricades and going over the edge to the water beneath…"

Tears slowly fell down Jude's face as they showed the damage to the bridge and car.

"… this just in, it's reported the car belong to a Tom Quincy or as most people know him, Little Tommy Q…"

Jude tried to close her eyes, but she couldn't keep them closed for long. Her eyes stayed glued to the TV waiting to hear the words, she knew were coming.

"… his body was found dead in the front drivers seat…"

Jude turned and faced Sadie and Kwest. Tears fell from their faces, identical to hers.

"Jude…" Sadie choked out.

Before she could say anything else, Jude jumped to her feet and ran outside. She ran down the street, blinded by her tears. Stumbling over her own feet, she didn't notice the rain poring down. After awhile, Jude stopped and looked around. The streets were barren, puddles forming everywhere, street lights shinning dimly. Jude turned to find a park, she started walking towards it. She could feel it beckoning her.

Jude sat on a swing, thinking to herself as silent tears mixed with the rain hammering down on her.

He's gone, completely gone. I still love him. Even after everything he did, I still love him. I will never stop… But now he's gone. Gone forever… Gone…"

"I hate you Tom Quincy!" Jude screamed out loud, then quieter; "I hate you… I hate you so much…"

Jude lost her balance on the swing and fell backwards. She landed on the puddled ground with a thud, hitting her head on a rock.

"I hate you… but I love you…" Jude moved her head back and forth, eyes closed tight, trying to fight the fog filling her brain. "… don't leave me, Tommy… please… your gone… don't go…"

One last tear fell from her eye as she gave into the fog filling her brain. "…I loved you…"

Then her body went still and her mind went blank.