Okay people this is chapter 3 (I need to say that because my counting occasionally goes wrong). Due to laziness on the writer's part I have borrowed a planet from the DC universe for this story. It also fitted the bill perfectly. Of course this will be combined with the obligatory guest appearances but I hope this add to rather than detracts from the story…. Even though it would be quite an achievement to detract any more from this story I am going to try.
Happy Landings
I like to start each chapter with a few relevant, interesting, incredibly useful and totally accurate facts in the hope that those of you who read the story might learn something. I also like to start off the story by lying.
Anyway today's facts are about bad landings. In the early days of aircraft design the way a plane got off and onto the ground was very important, mainly because you would only fly for a few yards before landing again. However as aircraft became better at flying designer spent less time thinking about what they would do on the ground. This reached it's height in World War 2 in which there were several truly awful designs. Two examples are as followed. The Messerschmitt Bf 109; more of these were built then any other aircraft in history, it was great in the air but on the ground it was hopeless. Come in to land not quite straight or on a rough surface and the landing gear, which was too narrow, would cause the plane to veer off into trees, ditches or buildings with fatal results. Too fast and the plane would bounce back off the ground, do a flip and land on its head. And if it was in a particularly vindictive mood the landing gear might just collapse altogether. The allies weren't much better. The F4U Corsair was a brilliant fighter bomber in the Pacific theatre but it had such a large engine in front of the cockpit that the pilot couldn't see the aircraft carrier he was trying to land on till he hit it!
Still when it comes to lazy landing techniques it is impossible to beat the Saiyan Space Pod. The concept of simply crashing in to your destination while cost effective and no doubt successful was never popular with the poor souls who had to use them. It is important to note that the likes of Freeza never travelled in such crafts themselves, they had more sense. However as they plummeted towards the surface of the planet around which they had been orbiting not long ago Goten and Vegeta could take comfort in the knowledge that there ship, being based off a Saiyan design, was capable of surviving the inevitable crash. What they couldn't take comfort in was that when Dr Brief had modified the craft to contain a training facility, bedroom and coffee machine he hadn't put any padding in the ship to protect the occupants in the case of a crash….
Through out the first seven years of his life Goten had never experienced quite this much pain before, even during a fight with Trunks or a slap on the wrist from his Mum. Eventually he managed to get off the floor, which on closer inspection turned out to be the ceiling, and tried to work out where he was. He appeared to be alone.
"Vegeta?" he called out nervously, and to the kid's relief some groans came from a closet. Goten ran towards the source of the sound and looked in side.
"Hey, why didn't you tell me there was a toilet in here?" he asked Vegeta accusingly. Fortunately for Goten, Vegeta hadn't heard him as he was to busy trying to get his head out of the aforementioned toilet. He eventually succeeded in this by smashing it with his fists. He landed on the ceiling with a thud. Goten walked up to him.
"Err are you alright Vegeta?" he asked.
"Yes I'm fine!" said Vegeta, "why crashing a space ships in to an alien planet never hurt anyone!"
"Oh, okay then," said Goten cheerfully, having never come across sarcasm before. "So what do we do now?"
The Saiyan Prince was silent for a while, Goten assumed that he must be in deep thought, and he was right. Only Vegeta was using the time to try and work out if there was away he could kill Goten without getting blamed. Eventually (and some what reluctantly) he dropped the idea and came up with a more practical course of action.
"We need to find out where we are" he declared with out getting up. "Someone on this planet might have a space ship I err we can steal, err borrow."
"Okey dokey," responded Goten causing Vegeta to cringe. Despite this the two Saiyans walked to the door.
"Wait!" said Goten suddenly before they opened the door. "How do we know the air's breathable out there?" he asked. Vegeta looked at Goten as if the kid had just turned into a Super Saiyan.
"Where on earth did that come from?" he asked in a state of shock.
"They always check that the air is breathable on Star Trek!" declared Goten "Perhaps we should scon it."
"Well we can't SCAN it because the electrics are fried in case you didn't notice."
"Really how did that happen?"
Vegeta was about to throttle Goten when he suddenly came up with a better idea.
"I know exactly how to test if the air is safe," he said proudly.
Goten crashed in to the ground a few yards away from the ship as he heard the door slam behind him. The young Saiyan quickly leaped to his feat and looked around. He wasn't sure exactly what happened if the air wasn't breathable but what ever it was he had no intention of allowing it to sneak up on him. However to Goten's surprise the planet was very pleasant. The grass was short, the hedges were cut into neat squares, or in some cases animal shapes. There was a gravel path travelling beside a purple stone wall covered in creepers. Behind him there was a palace that's size and beauty was easily enough to stun the young Saiyan. And unlike the pictures of the moon Gohan had shown him the only creator insight was the one the space ship had landed in.
Goten so busy wondering why such an ugly creator in the middle of a very nice garden hadn't been filled in that he didn't notice someone sneaking up on him.
"Buu!" his stalker shouted from no more than a few inches away. Goten screamed and leaped into the air grabbing hold of a tree branch to keep his attack at bay. As he hung from the tree Goten heard a noise that sounded like laughing. He turned around a looked down to see a little ginger haired girl laughing on below him. Most boys of his age would have been annoyed at being tricked bye a girl but Goten, having been made from the same mould as his farther was able to see the funny side of it. He jumped out of the tree.
"Hi I'm Goten" he said happily introducing himself. To his surprise the girl didn't reply but merely stared at him blankly. Eventually she opened her mouth and let out a bunch of noises that made absolutely no sense. Goten stare back at her equally blankly as she had stared at him.
The silence was broken by Vegeta finally emerging from the ship.
"As you're still alive I'm going to assume the air is safe," he said to Goten before looking at the girl. "Humph. Just like Kakarot, you've made a friend already."
Goten had no idea what a Kakarot was but he decided it must be a good thing.
"I think so," he replied returning his thoughts to the task at hand, "but I can't understand what she's saying."
"Don't worry about that," said Vegeta in a particularly arrogant tone of voice, "I'll show you a little trick we used in Freeza's army to talk to beings like this."
Very calmly Vegeta bent down and stared straight into the girl's eyes before he started to speak.
"W-H-E-R-E A-R-E W-E?" he asked speaking very loudly and slowly accompanying each word with an elaborate hand gesture. This technique got the response it deserved. The girl, her eyes turning green flew into the air so that her eyes were at the same height as Vegeta's. Once there she proceeded to say something very slowly and loudly back to Vegeta. Goten watch as Vegeta face produced a very unpleasant expression. Suddenly this was replaced by delight.
"Green eyes" he said proudly, "That means she's a Tamaranian."
"Can you speak Tamaoaswhatian?" asked Goten hopefully. Vegeta buoyed by his recent flash of genius appeared to have regained his confidence.
"Of course I can," he said "Saiyan Prince's are always taught languages, threats work much better when your enemy hears them in their own tongue."
"Great!" said Goten happily "What's her name?"
"Why do we want to know her name?" asked Vegeta.
"It's polite, and Mum always says you should be polite to people," announced Goten as though it was one of the Ten Commandments.
"Don't be daft," retorted Vegeta. "We just want to know where we can find a ship."
With that Vegeta turned to the girl and did his best to say;
"Alright runt, where will we find a space ship to get off this junk pile?"
But due to Vegeta's critical lack of talent at languages it came out as;
"I eat butterflies and lawnmowers." Well no one said Tamaranian had to make sense. Of course the little girl found it hilarious.
"Stuff this!" declared Vegeta angrily and he stormed back into the ship. Goten heard a number of loud bangs and crashes before Vegeta re-emerged from the ship. He was carrying too visor like devices.
"What are those?" asked Goten curiously.
"Scouters," declared Vegeta, "They can translate for us." With that he handed Goten one with a green lens, taking a red one for him self. Goten quickly copied Vegeta to put it on and then turned to the girl.
"Err is she saying 30 a lot?" he asked. Vegeta sighed and flicked a switch on Goten's scouter.
"Try now," Vegeta ordered.
"Hello?" the girl said suddenly.
"Hey I understood that!" said Goten excitedly. "I mean my name is Goten what's yours?"
"I'm Kori" replied she replied happily, "I am pleased to meat you and your funny friend."
"I am not funny or his friend!" protested Vegeta. "Look kid we just need to know where the nearest space port is can you give us directions?"
Kori appeared to go in to deep thought for a while,
"No," she answered at last, "but I know who would."
"Who?" demanded Vegeta.
"My k'norfka Galfore!" replied Kori excitedly. "He knows everything."
"Really?" asked Goten, "Dose he know the difference between butter and "I can't believe it's not butter"?"
"I'm surprised you remember those adverts," muttered Vegeta, suddenly the Saiyan Prince's voice changed, "Well what are we waiting for," he said quickly and in an over friendly tone, "let go see this Galfore."
"Very well," said Kori cheerfully, "follow me."
With that she skipped off. Moments later the Saiyans followed her (they didn't skip by the way).
"Why the rush?" asked Goten as they went.
"Simple really kid," replied Vegeta, "I saw the gardener coming, and I don't think he's going to like what we did to his lawn."
Just then, a little way behind them, someone screamed…
Three chapters down…err… some more to go, I'm not sure yet. Anyway if you have any thoughts, constructive criticism, spotted of some glaring mistake I've made or just want to say hi please send me a review. Oh and as for our guest stars more famous name answers on a postcard please. Get it right and you could win a prize… you almost certainly won't but it could happen.