Disclaimer: What? You didn't read the one on the first chapter? Fine, I don't own Nintendo, the Mushroom Kingdom, any of the species that live there, and/or the Linnaean taxonomy system.

Lesson 2: The Turtle Family

Hopefully, you've all gone to my first lesson and learned lots about Toads and Goombas. Today, I'll be teaching you about all the constituents of the Turtle Family. That's right: the Koopa Troopas, Paratroopas, and Lakitus. Here's the taxonomy that leads up to this family:

Kingdom: Animalia

Phylum: Chordata

Subphylum: Vertebrata

Class: Reptilia

Subclass: Anapsida

Order: Testudines

Suborder: Psychira

Family: Sentidae

The other families of Psychira are Deinoidae (of Spikoopas and Clubbas), Coleoptidae (of Buzzy Beetles and Spinies), and Dinosauridae (of Yoshis and Doogans). Also, the Lakitu's precise family is disputed, as some put it in Deinoidae, some put it in a family of its own called Intermeidae, and some (like me) put it in Sentidae.

Here's the taxonomy of the separate members of Sentidae. Write this down!

Koopa Troopa

Genus: Carapaca

Species: chelonida

Paratroopa

Genus: Carapaca

Species: ailes

Lakitu

Genus: Nebulus

Species: cielmouton

Both the Koopa Troopa's and the Paratroopa's genus are called Carapaca because they (obviously) have shells. In Koopa Troopas, that shell is removable. That was evolved through thousands of years because the Sentidae ancestor was constantly pestered by Kroniks, the ancestors of the Buzzars and Craws we know today. That particular ancestor constantly had its shell cracked, its spine broken, and its body paralysed (like many other turtles) whenever the Kroniks dropped them on rocks to get at the flesh. So that particular ancestor evolved a removable shell that didn't contain its ribs to decrease its chances of paralysis. That ancestor survived most of what the Kroniks dropped on them, so it evolved into the Koopa Troopas and Paratroopas we know today.

The Koopa Troopa's species is chelonida because the word "chelonida" is in the same word family as some other word in some other language that means "shell" (I forgot the language). The Koopa Troopa's shell is quite tough for only being made out of protein, though one company has found the secret to making plastic shell prostheses that are even tougher.

The Paratroopa's species is ailes because in French, an aile is a wing. The Paratroopas have evolved feathery wings because they were tired of taking their shells off and being vulnerable after they were targeted by Kroniks. As such, with their wings, they can no longer take their shells off (not that they need to). Unlike Lakitus, Paratroopas can enjoy activities of both the sky and the ground.

The Lakitu's genus is Nebulus because of the cloud they ride on, which is actually a mammal called a Cloudsheep. Lakitus have developed a strong mental bond with the Cloudsheep they sit on so they can direct themselves to anywhere in the sky. Some Lakitus have extended this so far, that they can read the minds of almost anyone.

The Lakitu's species is cielmouton, which means "sky sheep" in various languages. The words "sky sheep" is an approximate translation in English of the Cloudsheep's name in Lakitan. The Cloudsheep stays in the sky because the natural magnetism of the Mushroom Kingdom (and surrounding areas) is slightly south. When a Cloudsheep is born, it ingests enough soil to gain its southward magnetism and thus hover above the ground. (You all remember that like poles repel, right?) With some prodigious electric powers, Cloudsheep can dive down to the ground to eat grass. Lakitus feed their Cloudsheep so their steed will not plunge downwards at inopportune times.

Hopefully you all remember to write this, because class is dismissed. As usu—hey! Where did everyone go? I'd better tell you that I'm going to talk about the Boos, Duplighosts, and others on Monday! Sheesh…I'd better go to their lockers to tell them that.