The Adventures of Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl

A/N- Alright, we got a couple new'uns in the forum, so this has done its job well enough. But there are still other humor ficcers who haven't joined yet. –cough- AMS –cough- That means you too, reader! Now… for Part Two of the craziness. Thanks to all who reviewed because they're like crack to me. Well, enjoy!

PART THREE: Psychodog

"So do we get a super cool spy title mission?" Albel asked.
"No... you get the spandex, now sit down and be quiet." The Queen replied.
"Ooh, busted!" Nel giggled.
"Now if you'll all just shut up and listen to what I have to say, I won't throw something at you." The Queen then cleared her throat, "Your first mission is to-"
"First mission? I beg your pardon!" Albel slammed his clawed fist on the table, "Who said we're going to do more than one mission?"
"I did, now shut up and sit down boy! Before I scrub your hair clean off!" The queen snapped.
"Well, at least the dandruff won't be a problem." Arzei snickered.
"I don't have dandruff!" Albel scowled.
"Ooh, then what's that white stuff in your hair?" Nel asked poking Albel's locks. "Next thing you know, Albel's hair is really a wig."
"My hair is not a wig!" Albel roared.
"Will you shut up!" The Queen tossed Laselle (who was sitting quietly by the way) at Albel. Albel began to squirm around.
"AHHH! AhHHH! I'm sorry but... I cant love you back!" Albel yelled, flailing around with Lassele on top of him.

(cough cough)

Arzei coughed, "Ookay... so you got anymore secrets you're hiding from us skirt boy?"
"Yes." Albel replied defiantly. "The truth is... It really is a wig!" He pulled off his wig to reveal a shiny bald head.

(Dead Silence followed by gasps)

"So Albel... you're really a... cueball?" Nel asked in amazement.
"Yes, so now you know that I don't have dandruff" Albel replied.
"Anything else?" Nel asked.
"One other thing." Albel lifted his skirt. "I really wear shorts underneath."

(Enter shocked expression/ Dead silence and gasps here)

At that moment Cliff entered the room to see a bald Albel and him lifting his skirts to reveal not only the spandex... but boxers too. Cliff collapsed in shock.
"DAMN YOU MAGGOT!" Albel scowled kicking Cliff in the head. "You're supposed to faint AFTER my next secret!" '
"Ok, we don't need to hear your social problems." The Queen tossed Arzei, chair and all at Albel. "Now about that mission."
The door then opened again and Fayt entered the room, he eyed Albel ('nuff said)... the queen... and Nel (in spandex) and Arzei, who was giggling like crazy.
"Ooookay... I'll be leaving now." Fayt was about to turn around but the Queen tossed Cliff AND Lassele at the blue haired earthling.
"WHAT PART OF DO NOT ENTER DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? THIS IS TOP SECRET!" She pointed to the sign on the door which stated in red letters, Public bathroom: Occupied.
"Something tells me her majesty needs anger management." Nel whispered to Albel.
"Well at least that's normal. My sorry-excuse-for-a-king is giggling more than Pepitta on 300 cans of soda." Albel replied.
"Now..." The Queen huffed, "The first mission will be ...!"

………..POPCORN……….

PART FOUR: Blue Persuasion

"OH! Are we playing cops and robbers?" Peppita somersaulted into the room and onto the table.
"Look at the pretty dollie!" Lasselle looked up, he had hit his head hard.
"TOP SECRET PEOPLE!" The Queen hung her head as she shouted.
"I know! Cowboys and Indians!" Peppita proceeded to dance on the table in a traditional Indian style.
Arzei clapped his hands. "How about you? Wanna get hitched?"
Peppita stopped dead in her tracks.
"ARZEI!" Romeria shouted. Surprisingly her voice was still intact. It would seem she was used to shouting. "That's illegal even on Elicoor!"
Arzei shrank back.
"Well, this has been very eventful," Nel responded dryly.
Albel sighed. "What's the mission?"
"Oh, a mission?" Sophia appeared out of nowhere. "I wanna go!"
"OH, it's over-chirpy girl." Lasselle said dreamily as he watched the girl climb over him, Fayt and Cliff – still in a pile on the floor.
"Can't breath… Need air."
"Did you hear something?" Nel asked scanning the room.
"Oh, that's just Fayt asking for help. He's on the bottom and can't breath. Now about this mission?" Sophia smiled.
Nel nodded to the Queen. "Sophia, seems that there's a crisis in Kirlsa. Woltar is having trouble with his toaster. Why don't you go see if you can help."
"Mkay," she replied, climbing back over the pile on the floor.
"Still can't breath… Dieing…"
Everyone ignored Fayt.
Albel shook his head. "What next? The Menodix Mafia?"
"You called?"
"ROGER! GET OUT!"
"Alright, but I just thought you should see that first," Roger said pointing at Albel.
Albel was stitching something.
"Whatcha got Alby?"
"Don't call me Alby, Nelly. It's nothing, just this." Albel held up a mask. "Every great super hero needs a mask."
"Who said we were super heroes?"
"OH, I like this game." Peppita shouted for joy.
"What next?" Arzei asked. "A cape?"
"Working on it," Nel replied, she had started stitching herself.
Arzei's eyes gleamed. "Oh I want one. I want a uniform!"
Romeria pulled out a club and smacked Arzei from across the table. "Back to business. But to announce this evening's mission, let me introduce the charming and lovely Tynave."

……….POPCORN……….

PART FIVE: Psychodog

What a cutie!" Arzei jumped and grabbed Tynave's hand. "Hey there, sweetie, how about you and I get something to-"
"Arzei! Quit your flirting and sit down!" The Queen threw Cliff and Lassele at Arzei.
Gasping for breath Fayt cheered, "SWEET FREEDOM! I'm FREE!"
The door then slammed open as Sophia appeared. "Hey you guys, Woltar's toaster isn't broken! He doesn't even have a toaster!" The door slammed into Fayt as he was tossed out the window.
Nel and Albel peered over the window staring at Fayt twitching below.
"Why are we cramped in a bathroom? And why is there such a large window in a bathroom?"
"Well, funny story." Cliff laughed, "Y'see I gave them an air freshener but they broke it the first day. Adray sure can leave his mark after pork, beans and egg night. Hence, we have a WINDOW! TA DAH!"
"Shut up door mat." The Queen grabbed Cliff by the arm and tossed him at Arzei (who was flirting with Sophia now.)
"I never saw such beautiful, large eyes, except those on the crystal- OOF!" Arzei was knocked out cold from Cliff the iron projectile!
Albel and Nel continued their knitting as her majesty explained the mission... Albel knitted a nice hat and put it on his bald scalp. (Just to let you know, Albel shampoos his head to keep it's lustrous shine)
"So for your first mission you must deliver this MYSTERIOUS PACKAGE!" The Queen announced.
Tynave handed them the box, it was steel and covered in chains and locks.
"You must bring it to Woltar, who will give you a pink bunny rabbit doll and after that you must go to Surferio to get the rare GOLDEN TUNA, with the box, doll and tuna you send it ALLL the way to that itty bitty country of Greeton, understood?"
"But what's in it?" Albel asked poking it with his sword. The Box hissed wildly as it rocked back and forth violently. But not as violent as the queen was.
"IT'S A SECRET FOR ME TO KNOW AND YOU TO NEVER FIND OUT!" She snapped, "NOW YOU MUST NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER OPEN THIS BOX. UNDERSTOOD?"
"Okay." They both stared at the box oddly.
"Be careful you two, the box is..." Tynave replied (Lightning effect here) "EVIL..."
DUN DUN DUN!

……….POPCORN……….

PART SIX: Blue Persuasion

Nel and Albel shrugged as they left the cramped and very small bathroom. It was extremely small and very cramped.
"So, plan 'trap the spandex weirdoes' is in effect?" Mirage asked, emerging from a dark corner.
"Yes, evil lord mistress of the dark domain and the realm of no pink," the king replied trying to stand after getting knocked out - not an easy thing to do and he was failing at it.
"Oh, no pink!" Sophia exclaimed.
"No," Mirage answered, causing the girl to faint. "Now, I'll be leaving. You might want to send someone in on clean up duty."
Mirage left the room.
"Clean up, um… I think Vox will handle this."
"Arzei, you moron – Vox is dead."
"Ameena?"
"Dead."
"Dion?"
"Dead."
"Demetrio?"
"Dead."
"Fayt?"
"Possibly dead."
"Biwig?"
"Okay, you're making stuff up now."
--Out side, our two heroes are trudging along to Kirlsa—

"Hey, Noxie! Open the box."
"You open it," Albel handed the box to Nel.
"Nope, can't do that. Only a virgin can. So you open it."
"Virgin? You think I'm a…"
"Yup, now open it."
Albel growled. "It's getting dark. Better make camp."
They made camp. The box was placed on the ground and the two spent most of the night staring at it.

……….POPCORN……….

PART SEVEN: Psychodog

"It's a... pretty nice box, eh Albel?" Nel stared at the box with locks and chains.
"Yeah... pretty nice." Albel replied his eyes staring at the box.
"I'm not curious, no curiosity here, no siree, nope, none, zilch, nada."
"I think the box just hissed and growled at us."
"Let's poke it with a stick!" Nel began to poke it furiously. "Dammnit! IF ONLY THIS BOX COULD TALK AND TELL US WHAT THE HELL IS IN IT!"
"Have you lost your mind, fool? Boxes don't talk!"
"Boxes don't growl, snap and hiss at us either!" Nel snapped back.
"We can always kidnap that Maggot and force us to tell us, I mean, she was the one who handled it before... right?"
"Her name is Tynave, TYNAVE. Remember it!"
"Whatever! A MAGGOT IS A MAGGOT!"
"What about we hold Lasselle for ransom?"
"You fool! That's doing them a favor! By the way these accursed spamdecks Are itchy!"
"I do believe it's spandex."
"Whatever, maggot!" Albel kicked the box, the box hissed and growled some more. As if some wild animals was caged within. "Stupid package! Stupid Spandex! Stupid cheap 99 Fol Wig!"
"Just shut up I'm going to sleep." Nel turned over in her sleeping bag. "Albel, watch the box tonight."
"Fine." Albel grumbled. He eyed the box carefully... "This box is made of steel right?"
"Yeah, what of it?" Nel asked irritatedly as she turned the other way.
"Oh nothing..." Albel's eyes flashed menacingly. He could cut steel like paper... "You just go to sleep, Maggot, just go to sleep... hehe..."

TO BE CONTINUED… in Volume Three! Mwahahahah to the max!

Now click the box or the Periwinkle Box becomes sword practice for Albel. You don't want that on your conscience, do you?