I'm Not In Love
a.k.a Toxic
by Sailor Fantasy
Prologue: Heartbreak
Summary: WK/SM SchuldichxUsagi Usagi is heartbroken over her recent 'permanent' breakup with Mamoru, and the girls decide to take her clubbing. Things go smoothly, and almost everyone is enjoying themselves. So why does Usagi wake up in another man's bed?
Disclaimer: *running around with little devil-horned Omis flying around her head* Okay, Okay! I don't own! I DON'T OWN!
AN: Hey readers! (waves happily to reviewers). This is my first angst story, and hopefully it gets lots and lots of reviews so I can write a lot more. This is more of a test chapter than anything, and hopefully you can enjoy it. I put a lot of work into this, so just let me know how you feel, kay? I was partially inspired by Enrique's new song "I'm Not In Love," and my muse's new dark thoughts. So you can thank Leirbag-kun for this. His email address is Phantiazm@aol.com. Also, I was inspired by dark themes in Sailor Ronin Usa-chan's fic "Cold Love, Twisted Love," and Tenshi no Nozomi's "Sepia and Grey". Those two stories really rocked my hyper, happy, giddy attitude into a more serious approach...in a good way. So you can thank them too.
Warnings: Dark themes. Implied unconsensual sex.
Special Dedications: Leirbag-kun, Shavon-chan, Rosaura-chan, Courtney-chan, and Jenny-chan. Also... Dream_Fairy06 for being a good listener and great pre-reader... also the one to point out to me that Schuldich's eyes are actually BLUE! Yes, BLUE! NOT GREEN!!! DAMN IT!!
Quote of the Update: I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic? ~Brittany Spears--Toxic
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Usagi groaned, opening her eyes slowly to the dark room. Her whole body was tired, and there was a queer numbness between her legs. Long blonde strands hid here and there between the sheets, confessing that her hair was now out of her normal odangoes. Her bright blue eyes stared out up at the ceiling, her shoulders aching for some reason. Where was she? She scrunched up her nose, trying to remember what exactly she had done last night. Surely, this couldn't have been one of the girl's houses... none of them had plain white walls like this. And she was quite sure none of them had such a soft bed either.
Giving into the urge finally, she pulled at her arms to bring them into a normal position. They just bounced back towards the headboard, a dark tinkling making it known that handcuffs were holding her down. Usagi's eyes widened. What exactly HAD she been doing last night?!
"The question isn't exactly 'what', Liebe," a new voice drawled in, causing Usagi to snap her head towards the new light of a doorway. A shadow stood in it, tall and lanky, a bunch of wild hair blowing in an unseen wind. Though the darkness covered him, Usagi could tell there were glittering blue eyes sparkling behind those long bangs that could've been easily mistaken for green. She blinked, trying to adjust to the light. Who was this guy? "The question is not what..." he repeated, revealing pearly whites in a malicious smile. "But more like 'who'." From his accent, she could also easily tell this was a foreigner. But that exactly wasn't the foremost thing on her mind right then. Her eyes bugged out, as she took in the rest of her body, pleading with fate that she didn't do what she was thinking she did.
Nope, she was stark naked. She did it. Usagi let out a startled, heart wrenched sob. What had she DONE?
The foreign man laughed, as if he could read her thoughts. "What's wrong, liebe? Did not enjoy the night as much as I thought you did?" His eyes glinted, and Usagi's eyes widened in disbelief as all the memories of the night before tumbled into her mind.
Mamoru had broken up with her...again. This time, he had said, was for good. He couldn't deal with an immature teenager like her, that still acted like she was still in junior high. He needed a real woman, a real woman that would please him the way only a grown woman could. And that was where some woman named Manx came in.
And of course, the girls had all supported her, even offered to "Kick that tuxedo peguin's ASS!", as Mako-chan had kindly put it. Usagi had automatically revoked the act. But Minako had put out a much more productive plan than that utterly tempting but deliquent one. She cleverly suggested, with that devil wink of hers, that since she no longer had a boyfriend, that perhaps they could fill that gap with a new one! Almost everyone had agreed, and took much prompting to get Usagi to agree to going to some club with them. Not to find a boyfriend, she had told them, but to get that 'jerk' Mamoru, out of her mind. Even Ami, 'innocent' girl genuis, had her small hand in the events. She made them all fake IDs, and in each picture a remarkably good picture of them stood out, all looking about 3 years older.
When they had gotten to the club---some place called "Midnight Star"---the girls were instantly seperated, either picked up by some hot bishounen or drawn to the dance floor. Usagi, however, found her way to the bar, and knowing just a little bit about alcohol, ordered a virgin strawberry daquiri. A deep, husky, nasal voice almost instantly objected, ordering her a Sex on the Beach instead.
That was where this bishounen gaijin came in.
He had flirted endlessly with her, asking her about things she shouldn't know about in his flawless Japanese. Her, being much too inexperienced with this type of thing, had a constant blush upon her cheeks, nervously gulping down her alcohol laced drink when he asked a too personal question.
He told her about himself; he was German, orphaned, and had three companions he considered his only friends. He snickered when he mentioned one certain one, a stiff, stick-in-his-ass named Brad. Usagi, a bit tipsy, giggled along with him. Funny how no other men approached her last night, especially in the outfit Minako had picked out for her. Tight, black leather halter and mini-skirt, with black leather boots; complete with a black leather choker with a silver buckle. They even went as far as adding in black ribbons to her odagoes and dark lipstick and mascara. Usagi had to admit, she did look good. What was even funnier, was that none of the girls approached her either; not even had once checked up on her.
And so the man talked more of himself. How he was constantly fighting with someone named Weiss, how he was part of a group named Schwarz, how he---and Usagi had giggled at this---was a telepath, and how he was reading her mind right then. Usagi had giddily replied that he had obviously had one too many, that he desperately needed to put down his drink. He laughed outright, and continued on with his life story.
And then---which shocked Usagi into oblivion---he began to tell her *her* life story.
He told her how he pitied her, that her whole life had to be predetermined. That he lived his life as a rogue, that he could have never lived as Fate's doormat as she had. How he laughed at her when he read her mind about her life as 'Sailor Moon', how Estet and Rosenkreuz had been so, so much worse than getting banged up by some monster that resembled what some guy named Masafumi had created. How he would've rid himself Mamoru long ago, wouldn't be going through the crap she was going through now...
And then, abruptly, asked her if she would like to be rid of all that destiny crap. To be free of both fate and destiny... of her responsibilities both at home, and her sailor duties, of her very demanding parents, of her life before this one...
To be free of Mamoru.
Not hesitant, she had said yes. Why should she say no, when her purpose here was to find someone to replace Mamoru? And so she had went with him...
"And had the wildest time of your entire existance, both before and present," the redhead finished, working a sadist smirk. "I must say, your Mamo-chan is a fool. You're a pretty good lay, for being a virgin. I personally would've had taken your innocence from you before getting with that Weiss' bitch." He flashed a devil-may-care smirk at her that drew shivers up her up her spine. "Ah, but then, he is not me, and it is with me you are with tonight."
He spoke with a poetic fluidity, one that would've normally turned Usagi's heart into chocolate melt. But no, this had the complete opposite. Inside, she crumpled. She would've curled up, but her arms were still bound. Instead, tears streaked their way down her pale cheeks, running mascara down them.
She had given her virginity to this man. And she could never take it back. She could barely hold back the sob in her throat. A man she barely knew, some guy she just met at a club...who could've very much have been some sort of murderer, rapist, mental patient...some sort of old enemy in disguise... and she had come willingly into his car, his home, his bed....
And not for the first time that night, she felt very foolish. She didn't deserve to be a Sailor senshi. She didn't deserve to be a princess. She didn't deserve to be future queen of the world. She didn't deserve to even be Mamoru's ex. He had been right. Who would want to be with some immature teenager that acted like a child dealing with her first kiss? She couldn't even hold a drink...
A desperate laugh bubbled in her throat at that, more tears following the previous ones. This just wasn't happening to her. This was some sort of horrid nightmare... and when she woke up, her Mamo-chan would be there to pick up her broken pieces. And her sailor senshi would be there to make her smile and laugh. And Rei- chan would say "Silly Odango-chan! It was only a dream!" And she would laugh some more when she woke up. So why wasn't she waking up?
In the back of her mind, she could feel someone laughing with her.
~~~~~****~~~~~~
So how was it? Should I continue? Please Review!
gaijin=foreigner(?) Leibe: Love
by Sailor Fantasy
Prologue: Heartbreak
Summary: WK/SM SchuldichxUsagi Usagi is heartbroken over her recent 'permanent' breakup with Mamoru, and the girls decide to take her clubbing. Things go smoothly, and almost everyone is enjoying themselves. So why does Usagi wake up in another man's bed?
Disclaimer: *running around with little devil-horned Omis flying around her head* Okay, Okay! I don't own! I DON'T OWN!
AN: Hey readers! (waves happily to reviewers). This is my first angst story, and hopefully it gets lots and lots of reviews so I can write a lot more. This is more of a test chapter than anything, and hopefully you can enjoy it. I put a lot of work into this, so just let me know how you feel, kay? I was partially inspired by Enrique's new song "I'm Not In Love," and my muse's new dark thoughts. So you can thank Leirbag-kun for this. His email address is Phantiazm@aol.com. Also, I was inspired by dark themes in Sailor Ronin Usa-chan's fic "Cold Love, Twisted Love," and Tenshi no Nozomi's "Sepia and Grey". Those two stories really rocked my hyper, happy, giddy attitude into a more serious approach...in a good way. So you can thank them too.
Warnings: Dark themes. Implied unconsensual sex.
Special Dedications: Leirbag-kun, Shavon-chan, Rosaura-chan, Courtney-chan, and Jenny-chan. Also... Dream_Fairy06 for being a good listener and great pre-reader... also the one to point out to me that Schuldich's eyes are actually BLUE! Yes, BLUE! NOT GREEN!!! DAMN IT!!
Quote of the Update: I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic? ~Brittany Spears--Toxic
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Usagi groaned, opening her eyes slowly to the dark room. Her whole body was tired, and there was a queer numbness between her legs. Long blonde strands hid here and there between the sheets, confessing that her hair was now out of her normal odangoes. Her bright blue eyes stared out up at the ceiling, her shoulders aching for some reason. Where was she? She scrunched up her nose, trying to remember what exactly she had done last night. Surely, this couldn't have been one of the girl's houses... none of them had plain white walls like this. And she was quite sure none of them had such a soft bed either.
Giving into the urge finally, she pulled at her arms to bring them into a normal position. They just bounced back towards the headboard, a dark tinkling making it known that handcuffs were holding her down. Usagi's eyes widened. What exactly HAD she been doing last night?!
"The question isn't exactly 'what', Liebe," a new voice drawled in, causing Usagi to snap her head towards the new light of a doorway. A shadow stood in it, tall and lanky, a bunch of wild hair blowing in an unseen wind. Though the darkness covered him, Usagi could tell there were glittering blue eyes sparkling behind those long bangs that could've been easily mistaken for green. She blinked, trying to adjust to the light. Who was this guy? "The question is not what..." he repeated, revealing pearly whites in a malicious smile. "But more like 'who'." From his accent, she could also easily tell this was a foreigner. But that exactly wasn't the foremost thing on her mind right then. Her eyes bugged out, as she took in the rest of her body, pleading with fate that she didn't do what she was thinking she did.
Nope, she was stark naked. She did it. Usagi let out a startled, heart wrenched sob. What had she DONE?
The foreign man laughed, as if he could read her thoughts. "What's wrong, liebe? Did not enjoy the night as much as I thought you did?" His eyes glinted, and Usagi's eyes widened in disbelief as all the memories of the night before tumbled into her mind.
Mamoru had broken up with her...again. This time, he had said, was for good. He couldn't deal with an immature teenager like her, that still acted like she was still in junior high. He needed a real woman, a real woman that would please him the way only a grown woman could. And that was where some woman named Manx came in.
And of course, the girls had all supported her, even offered to "Kick that tuxedo peguin's ASS!", as Mako-chan had kindly put it. Usagi had automatically revoked the act. But Minako had put out a much more productive plan than that utterly tempting but deliquent one. She cleverly suggested, with that devil wink of hers, that since she no longer had a boyfriend, that perhaps they could fill that gap with a new one! Almost everyone had agreed, and took much prompting to get Usagi to agree to going to some club with them. Not to find a boyfriend, she had told them, but to get that 'jerk' Mamoru, out of her mind. Even Ami, 'innocent' girl genuis, had her small hand in the events. She made them all fake IDs, and in each picture a remarkably good picture of them stood out, all looking about 3 years older.
When they had gotten to the club---some place called "Midnight Star"---the girls were instantly seperated, either picked up by some hot bishounen or drawn to the dance floor. Usagi, however, found her way to the bar, and knowing just a little bit about alcohol, ordered a virgin strawberry daquiri. A deep, husky, nasal voice almost instantly objected, ordering her a Sex on the Beach instead.
That was where this bishounen gaijin came in.
He had flirted endlessly with her, asking her about things she shouldn't know about in his flawless Japanese. Her, being much too inexperienced with this type of thing, had a constant blush upon her cheeks, nervously gulping down her alcohol laced drink when he asked a too personal question.
He told her about himself; he was German, orphaned, and had three companions he considered his only friends. He snickered when he mentioned one certain one, a stiff, stick-in-his-ass named Brad. Usagi, a bit tipsy, giggled along with him. Funny how no other men approached her last night, especially in the outfit Minako had picked out for her. Tight, black leather halter and mini-skirt, with black leather boots; complete with a black leather choker with a silver buckle. They even went as far as adding in black ribbons to her odagoes and dark lipstick and mascara. Usagi had to admit, she did look good. What was even funnier, was that none of the girls approached her either; not even had once checked up on her.
And so the man talked more of himself. How he was constantly fighting with someone named Weiss, how he was part of a group named Schwarz, how he---and Usagi had giggled at this---was a telepath, and how he was reading her mind right then. Usagi had giddily replied that he had obviously had one too many, that he desperately needed to put down his drink. He laughed outright, and continued on with his life story.
And then---which shocked Usagi into oblivion---he began to tell her *her* life story.
He told her how he pitied her, that her whole life had to be predetermined. That he lived his life as a rogue, that he could have never lived as Fate's doormat as she had. How he laughed at her when he read her mind about her life as 'Sailor Moon', how Estet and Rosenkreuz had been so, so much worse than getting banged up by some monster that resembled what some guy named Masafumi had created. How he would've rid himself Mamoru long ago, wouldn't be going through the crap she was going through now...
And then, abruptly, asked her if she would like to be rid of all that destiny crap. To be free of both fate and destiny... of her responsibilities both at home, and her sailor duties, of her very demanding parents, of her life before this one...
To be free of Mamoru.
Not hesitant, she had said yes. Why should she say no, when her purpose here was to find someone to replace Mamoru? And so she had went with him...
"And had the wildest time of your entire existance, both before and present," the redhead finished, working a sadist smirk. "I must say, your Mamo-chan is a fool. You're a pretty good lay, for being a virgin. I personally would've had taken your innocence from you before getting with that Weiss' bitch." He flashed a devil-may-care smirk at her that drew shivers up her up her spine. "Ah, but then, he is not me, and it is with me you are with tonight."
He spoke with a poetic fluidity, one that would've normally turned Usagi's heart into chocolate melt. But no, this had the complete opposite. Inside, she crumpled. She would've curled up, but her arms were still bound. Instead, tears streaked their way down her pale cheeks, running mascara down them.
She had given her virginity to this man. And she could never take it back. She could barely hold back the sob in her throat. A man she barely knew, some guy she just met at a club...who could've very much have been some sort of murderer, rapist, mental patient...some sort of old enemy in disguise... and she had come willingly into his car, his home, his bed....
And not for the first time that night, she felt very foolish. She didn't deserve to be a Sailor senshi. She didn't deserve to be a princess. She didn't deserve to be future queen of the world. She didn't deserve to even be Mamoru's ex. He had been right. Who would want to be with some immature teenager that acted like a child dealing with her first kiss? She couldn't even hold a drink...
A desperate laugh bubbled in her throat at that, more tears following the previous ones. This just wasn't happening to her. This was some sort of horrid nightmare... and when she woke up, her Mamo-chan would be there to pick up her broken pieces. And her sailor senshi would be there to make her smile and laugh. And Rei- chan would say "Silly Odango-chan! It was only a dream!" And she would laugh some more when she woke up. So why wasn't she waking up?
In the back of her mind, she could feel someone laughing with her.
~~~~~****~~~~~~
So how was it? Should I continue? Please Review!
gaijin=foreigner(?) Leibe: Love