The Sweet Shop Next Door

pass the broccolini

Author's Note: As usual, I do not own Pet Shop of Horrors.

Oh, I've been looking around to see if Matsuri Akino had created any other series, besides Pet Shop of Horrors. I couldn't find any. Are there any? And if so, do you recommend them?

Chapter Three:

Humans. Despicable creatures. Sure, some were capable of kindness. However, on the majority, they were selfish, greedy, dominating creatures who had no place on Earth. D was lounging amidst a group of his pets. It was dark, and incense was burning. It had taken only a few moments for D to decide on which pets to send. Most of the shop was filled with extraordinary beasts that would scoff at such a lowly, seemingly trivial task. The other half couldn't eat sweets. So the common pets, the ones he usually sold innocent children or simple customers, were his best bet.

You say she's got food, boss?

D was always amused at the bulgy-eyed and long-nosed creatures that had accents like humans. They wiggled their noses at D, curious and hungry, as usual. Black beady eyes followed D and listened to his promise of tasty treats and a chance to cause mischief. Humans and rats were so similar. In fact, they were practically the same species, except the rats had better looks.

"Yes."

Is she tasty?

"Do not eat her, but I do permit you to...frolic in her shop. You do not have to return until you're satisfied."

Thanks, boss. We go now, right?

"Yes. Oh, and I'm sending some others as well. They will not harm you while you're in the shop."

The ten rats nodded. D generally disliked rats, mostly because of their similarity to humans. He collected them for the purpose of feeding his snakes and other reptiles. Rats were so...common. Still, they possessed the two characteristics required for this task—obedience and stupidity.

"You may go."

The rats scampered off, a few toads and snakes followed them. D returned to his seat, a small smile on his face, and waited. All kamis had especially good hearing. It would only be a matter before panicked shrieks and unhappy customers would be audible.

--

The extremely heavy shop owner, Mrs. Patterson, removed the tray of muffins from the oven and sat them on the counter. Business had boomed so much that they had been able to hire a full-time cashier, and Eliza was able to work in the kitchens, which was exactly what she wanted. Dealing with customers often aggravated and irritated her. "Are you sure this is the correct amount of change? I think I'm missing three pennies?" "Are these cakes made with real sugar?" "How many carbs are in this?" It completely drained her. In the kitchen, she could be expressive and creative.

"Eliza, could you start decorating the muffins."

"Yeah, sure."

Mrs. Patterson went back to making an enormous tub of cookie dough while Eliza started decorating the muffins in bright pastel colors. It was then that she heard something. A small, almost silent scraping noise. She paused for a moment. There it was again. She turned around and saw a very large rat biting its way through the wall.

Her eyes widened and she took a very deep breath. Don't panic. Don't panic.

"Mrs. Patterson...turn around...really slowly. D-don't panic."

Confused, the older lady turned around and let out a shriek.

"Don't panic!"

Mrs. Patterson was an expert in panicking. She immediately grabbed a nearby pan and started smacking at the rat with it. The rat blinked and then immediately darted away, creating space for the next one to enter, and so on. A metallic clanging sound erupted after each smash.

"RATS! In my shop!"

Eliza struggled to retain control of her boss. Rats were gross, but they were still living things.

"Stop...maybe we can just push them back the way they came."

The older lady's bun was becoming undone. Beads of sweat dripped down her forehead. Eliza was a nice, talented girl, but her do-goody attitude was sometimes annoying.

"You can't get rid of rats by asking them to leave? Are you completely in-"

Mrs. Patterson let out another shriek as two snakes and three toads emerged from the hole as well.

"An infestation! I'm going to call the exterminator!"

Before Eliza could stop her, the matronly woman had left and was frantically dialing into the telephone. Eliza, however, had other plans. If she fed them...maybe they would be content? Maybe they would leave. Hey, if they were going to die anyway when the exterminator got here, maybe their last moments could be enjoyable.

She popped one of the lumpier, awkward shape muffins out of the pan on the counter and broke off a small piece.

"Here you go."

Eliza tossed it to the ground, trying to suppress her absolute revulsion at the furred creatures. A rat sat on its hind-legs and looked up at her, summing her up as a non-threat. It dashed forward and grabbed the small piece. Eliza broke off and threw another. More rats came. Soon, a large group of filthy rats were at her feet. She tried not to think of how unsanitary it was. The muffin quickly ran out, and they started closing in on her. Their lowly paws climbing up her...it was too gross. She grabbed the bowl of pink muffin icing and set it a few feet away from her.

"Take it and leave us alone!"

She jumped back as the rats immediately scurried into the bowl, filling their stomachs with creamy, sugary pink icing. She climbed on top of the counter to stay out of their way. It was sort of sad. These rats had no idea that in a few moments they would be gassed to death by an exterminator with chemicals.

"Eat up guys, it's gonna be your last meal."

The snakes and toads stopped tormenting Mrs. Patterson, who was cowering on top of a small kitchen stool with the phone in her shaky hand, and began slithering away. The faint scent of incense from D's shop was in the air.

"Weird. Wonder where they're going."

And for a brief flash of a moment, Eliza thought she saw a beautiful man with cool, grey eyes and perfect, smooth skin in the shop. He was dressed elegantly, but streamlined. She had never seen a man look that confident and cool, and especially not in SWEETIE'S SWEETLAND OF SWEETS.

You're pretty decent, for a human. At least you don't try to hurt them, like Ms. Broomstick over there.

"Thanks."

Eliza gave a small chuckle at the man's reference to her boss, who was currently in the store front, trying to act calm while she waited for the exterminator. But the man was gone and where he stood, a snake was slithering out the door. She had hallucinated, that's all. Men weren't snakes. Snakes weren't men. Especially not good-looking men who made jokes.

One of the rats noticed the reptiles leaving and signaled for the rest of the rats to do the same by wiggling his whiskers and squeaking. Without warning, the group of rats ran as fast as they could, considering their bloated bellies, to the hole in the wall. Eliza just watched in shock. Why would rats follow their predators? That doesn't even make sense. As the last rat left, the exterminator knocked on the door.

As a confused Eliza had to explain why the rats had disappeared, an angry Count D sulked behind the opposite wall.

She's really nice!

She fed us muffins! I like muffins! And frosting! Muffins!

Muffins! Muffins!

The rats were practically yelling their admirations for both her and her muffins. Even the snakes, generally difficult to please, seemed to like her.

She's not like most humans. She's much more in tune.

D grit his teeth. Everyone seemed absolutely smitten with that human. Obviously, invasion of rats and snakes hadn't worked. In fact, it had backfired. They were now all on her side. There had to be another punishment he could dole out. Death was too severe for her, yet. If only she would come into his shop...

A small, devious smile crossed his face. No human could resist love, hope, dreams, and happiness. It was only a matter of time before she wandered in on her own.