AN: Chapter 11 was responses to reviews but has been replaced with a real chapter, so read that first if you haven't already
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Waking up slowly, Sam kept her eyes closed and her breathing slow and even. A strong antiseptic smell assaulted her senses, a hospital. There was something more, something safe. As she racked her brain to identify the smell she heard paper shuffle, Janet! Opening her eyes the room slowly came into focus. Glancing around here eyes settled on her friend sitting near the foot of her bed, several papers in her hand and a frown marring her face.
"A little light reading before bed?" Sam teased.
"Sam! He-ey, I didn't realize you were awake." Janet stood and moved up to Sam's bed. "How are you feeling?"
"Great!" Sam tried to sound happy but coughed instead, her dry throat protesting to being used.
"Here." Janet held out a cup of water. "Seriously Sam, how do you feel?"
"I'm a little achy, but happy to be home." Sam frowned at the serious look on her friends face. "Janet, are you alright?"
"Yes. No." Janet rubbe3d her face with her hands. "Sam they documented everything that happened to you. The Colonel and Teal'c stumbled across the disks and brought them back."
"Oh." Sam sighed, she would have rather not have her friends know all the details. Sam grabbed Janet's hand, wincing slightly as she irritated the burns. "Janet, look at me. I'm back, I'm fine."
"You shouldn't be!" Janet snapped as she lost her battle with her tears. Flipping through the papers she read, "Died three times in transport! Medical procedures with no anesthetic. Who knows what that lazer did to your eye let alone your brain. You were beaten severely on three separate occasions by numerous 'supersoldiers'."
"Four times." Sam corrected.
"Damn it Sam! I watched you drown!" Janet was crying openly now and Sam wrapped her arms around her. "I'm afraid I'll wake up and you'll be dead, or worse."
"Oh Janet. I wish you hadn't seen what happened. It was bad, I'll admit, but I made it through ok. If I could take it back I would, make it so they never found those disks."
Janet let out a small laugh and pulled back from the embrace. "Only you would be concerned about someone else after what you've been through." Not getting a response, she repeated her earlier questions. "Really Sam. How are you?"
"Sore, achy. . .a bit crispy."
"Not physically."
"I'm fine."
"Sam." Janet said in the tone usually reserved for dealing with Colonel O'Neill.
"What do you want to know Janet? How scared I was when I woke up and saw Lydecker." Sam spat. She didn't want to have this conversation. Not now, not here, not ever. "Or how about how angry I was that they tossed me in that cell, in excruciating pain, and left me there with no food or water?"
The tears were running down Sam's face, she hadn't intended on saying more but now that she was talking she couldn't seem to stop. Anger at the situation misdirected to the small red head.
"Wait, how about the absolute terror I felt when I heard Lydecker sayin' I wasn't going to be returned as I was on my way to be tortured! It never ended after that! I was so afraid that some stupid position would realize that I was property of Manticore and forbid you from coming to get me. Fear of what I'd wake up to. Then they just handed me the ribbon device, I just knew if I could slip it on I'd be able to escape, but I couldn't! there were too many, no way out! I thought I'd never see you guys again!"
Sam's anger dissipated and she was left sobbing openly on her best friends shoulder. Janet just sat there whispering assurances and rubbing her back until sleep finally claimed her. Carefully easing Sam back to the mattress, Janet made sure she was comfortable then took a few minutes to compose herself before heading back to the office.
"How is she Doc?" Jack asked as soon as Janet stepped out into the hallway.
"I'm giving her the maximum dose of morphine I can and she's still admitting to being in pain. Emotionally, I'm not sure yet. She's been through a lot these past few days. We'll have to wait to see how things turn out."
"What about you?" Jack asked once they were in Janet's office. "How are you holding up?"
"I'm," Janet looked at Jack. She could see he was just as unbalanced as she was, "probably doing as well as you are. I'm worried about her, angry at what those bas. . .they did to her, that they were even capable of doing that to another human being. Afraid of what happens next. I want to take her home. Let her recover somewhere she's comfortable, someplace she has happy memories of. I'd take her to her house but I'm sure that's the first place they'd look."
"Let me talk with Hammond. See what we can figure out."
"No hotels Colonel, that's not what I mean."
"Hey, give me some credit Doc." Jack gave a half smile then left her office.
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