Chapter 14 "Two more days"

I was sitting in the east garden admiring the stars. The full moon provided little light but everything was simply beautiful. Henri had locked himself in his room, and was like this almost all the time since I asked him about his wife. He had came out for supper, everything else he ate in his room and other then the opera he had not left the house. Every time we met he had been extremely kind to me. Was he feeling some sort of compassion or guilt?

I looked back up to the moon and I wanted you here with me. I had some what took for granted every moment we had spent together. I just wanted to see your face, your kind blue eyes, your warm smile. I loved the way you acted as if I was the only person in the world, the way you could make any moment romantic.

I thought back to the first time I saw you. You were one of my father's violin lessons and not quite his best. Your blonde hair fell in front of your eyes as you tinkered with bow and tried to get the instrument to play a G. I remember giggling as you scraped the two objects together and got a high screeching sound.

I wondered what you were doing at that very moment. What if you had found a new interest? I had given you permission to remarry. Would you get over me so quickly? My eyes started to water a little as I thought about coming home to find you with another woman. I don't know if I would be able to live with that kind of pain. Then I thought back to Erik. He had gotten over pain like that there for it was not impossible.

I pushed the thoughts from my mind and stood up to go inside. The grandfather clock read 10:37, and I made my way through the dark kitchen, through the living room and up the stairs. The stairs were dark and I could barley make out where one ended and one began. I sat my hand on the railing and continued. When I finally made it to the top I noticed Henri's bedroom light was on. What was he still doing up? "Maybe I should check on him' truthfully I could care less if he was alright, but I wondered if something of interest kept him up.

I gently knocked against the oak door and said in a small voice
"Are you alright mishear?" He did not reply he simply turned off the light. I heard no movement in the room. So I continued on the path to my room.

I took off my dress and corset, then slipped into my night gown. I pulled over the covers and got into bed. I turned down the gaslight and laid my head against the pillow. But before I gave into sleep I whispered to myself:
"Two more days