It was a dungeon deep in Hyrule. Eddy strolled in to find Gannondorf pushing Bowser around. "They got away AGAIN!" yelled Gannondorf. "Why do I even let you hang out with me? You can't even kill one kid!"
"He had a tiger..." Bowser said weakly. It was amazing that the Koopa was so threatening normally looked so small next to Gannondorf. Eddy tried to stay calm as Bowser pointed to him. "There's one of them!"
Gannondorf's fist turned a glowing purple as he pulled it back. "Killing him will only take a second. You could learn from me, you little shellcreeper."
"Wait!" said Eddy. "I have to make a deal with you!"
Gannondorf paused. "A deal, you say? I do like to make deals...what's happening?"
"Well, I'm trying to get Calvin out of the way..."
"I'll do it!" volunteered Bowser. "I've been meaning to go back out there and get even with him!"
"I don't wanna kill him!" explained Eddy. "I just need to make a special kind of deal...one that binds him using some magical powers!"
"I like this so far..." said Gannondorf.
The next morning, Calvin was running laps in the gym. No one else was in it, aside from Hobbes.
"Wow, you're really working out, huh?" said Hobbes, impressed.
Calvin looked at Hobbes like he was an idiot. "Working out? I'm just practicing running away from all the girls that keep chasing me!"
Hobbes wondered if he should tell Calvin that they were really helping him. Suddenly, Eddy walked out, followed by Gannondorf. "Hey, Calvin! Have I got a deal for you! Not like you have any choice..."
A cage suddenly formed around Hobbes. Eddy stepped forward. "Here's how it's gonna work. See, I've got plans coming up. A great scam, that some people wouldn't like. They might ask you to be a hero. I can't have that. If you or your friends do anything to stop it, Hobbes magically gets hurt. Real bad. But if you just let this one little scam slip, he's fine."
"What if I don't agree?" said Calvin, cautiously backing away.
"Hobbes gets hurt anyway. That's life, right? Deal?"
Calvin looked at Hobbes. "Deal...I thought you were my friend."
"I am! But when there's cash involved, I'm no one's friend. What can you do?"
Bowser raced out of nowhere. "And you wanna know what's really funny? You were never a hero in the first place! It was all your friends helping you! You never actually did anything! HA!" He paused and then smiled. "You're not laughing...I thought it was funny..."
The Kooplaings came out as well. "Our Hero's a Zero, our hero's a zero! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Gannondorf had the cage disappear. Hobbes fell to the ground. "I didn't know this would happen..."
"Well, I've got a scam to unveil!" said Eddy. He ran away, delighted things had actually worked for him. "Eddy, you're a genius!" Gannondorf and the Koopas left as well, leaving Calvin and Hobbes in the gym alone.
About the whole "Snoopy can talk" thing. He's actually thinking everything, despite the fact the story always says "said." He does talk to Hobbes, however, just because that seems to make sense. Please stop flaming me now.