Title: Right and Wrong
Author: Gilmoregirl7878
A/N: Had An idea, had to go with it. Darkish mood so please don't mind this.
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She was good, he was bad.
It was as simple as that.
Black and white.
Right and wrong. She learned about those things before she read the Fountainhead.
Simple Science, right?
It's funny, how the mind works. It can solve a math problem, read a book, help you solve a mystery, basically, it does everything you want it to.
What you don't expect is when it does something for you.
Other people knew, hell, everyone she told knew. Except her.
Why not?
Because so was thoroughly convinced that she was right. She knew it, it was like simple math.
Two plus two equals four.
What she forgot was that there are people who question that two plus really equals four. If she had thought about that she might have questioned everything else.
She was with the right guy.
Dean was perfect in every way. Nice, smart for the most part, handsome, athletic, everyone loved him. Except her. When she touched him she wasn't overwhelmed with feelings, when she thought about him she didn't get that warm feeling, or that fogginess in her mind.
She was clearheaded when she thought about him or talked about him. Was that a good thing? She wasn't sure anymore.
Especially now, who was she to be a judge of anything?
All her life, she was taught about what was wrong and right.
Good grades...good.
Bad grades...bad.
Sex...bad.
Innocence...good.
Simple, right?
Wrong.
She knew that there was something wrong with being with the right guy.
Or was it her?
Why didn't she get those feelings that she should have? Why did everything about the wrong guy plague her so much?
She wanted to believe it was Dean's fault that she didn't feel those feelings with him. She couldn't though. Because it wasn't his fault, and it wasn't the other guy's. It was hers, as much as she didn't want to admit it. Why don't we be honest, she would never admit it.
All she knew was when she looked into Deans brown eyes, she really saw the steel blue eyes of another.
She was the poster child for everything perfect, innocence, Mother's dreamed that their daughters would grow up just like her. She loved that part of her life, at least she thought she did.
She could say that she was a tortured soul, no one would let her be what she really wanted to be, no one wanted to see her flaws..and that was partly true, but not really.
In the back of her mind she knew that everyone would love her no matter was she did. They loved her and her flaws, like her coffee addition and her candy need.
What they didn't know was that there was a heavily flawed side, a side they never see.
Her mother knew it, how could she not? She hadn't hide that side of her. Lorelai had fallen for the wrong kind of guy, she had gotten pregnant because of it.
Rory had hidden it at an early age, Lorelai knew it was there, maybe that was why she didn't want Rory to go to Chilton at first. What is it that they say..History is destined to repeat itself.
She wasn't worried about Rory ending up pregnant, but of Rory changing, she wouldn't be the sweet innocent girl that she was now.
Everything was right with Rory.
But, she was destined to go to Chilton.
And she saw what was wrong.
Tristan Dugrey.
Flawed.
It intrigued her at first, these new feelings that she had.
It was nothing she had ever felt before, was it good or bad?
Did it matter at all?
She remembered that she had tried to make a pro and con list about him once.
She wasn't expecting logic not to make sense for once.
Maybe there wasn't a wrong and right?
Was there a grey area?
She never expected it, that two plus two might not equal four.
I guess every girl has that guy in her life. That one who changes everything. Most girls date them and eventually break up, most of the time, the girls cry because they thought it was 'to be'. They believed that they had changed those guys.
She broke up with Dean, the right guy for her in every way, but also completely wrong for her.
She was drawn to him, she couldn't help it. She was in love. She thought about him constantly. He was mysterious, handsome, something new, something to figure out.
She was knew when he was looking at her, she had a warm feeling when she was caught in his mesmerizing steel blue eyes, an intense look that made her look away.
At those times she never knew what he was thinking, and wanted to.
Why did she get those feelings when she was around him? Why did her skin immediately become warm when he touched her?
She wanted to answers to all these questions.
She was a journalist, after all.
She believed that there was a right answer to every question, all you had to do was find it.
So, that's what she did, she dated the infamous Tristan Dugrey.
She was happy, in love. Everything she had with him felt completely right. She knew what people thought when they saw that they were together.
A nice innocent girl about to be corrupted by Tristan 'King of getting any girl at Chilton' Dugrey.
She was convinced that they were wrong. That there was some things that people didn't know, didn't see.
She 'knew' that what her and Tristan had was special, something that most girls didn't feel, it was different in ways that she couldn't explain. She had been asked to, but couldn't.
For the first time in her life she learned that there are some things that can't be put into words and that they would justify it. When you're completely in love with someone or the way the sun sets over the mountains and reflects off the water below it.
You can write it, put it into words, but when someone reads it will they see the beautiful sight that you saw?
Maybe.
But will they feel what you did when you see something like that?
Never.
She would never be able to explain her relationship with Tristan Dugrey, not to her mother, or anyone else.
Just like the beginning of it, the end came quickly.
He was leaving, being sent to a different school in a different state.
Before he left there were promises to write everyday, call every night. Visit every chance he could.
Empty promises.
They both knew it, somewhere deep inside them.
It was the end.
They both ignored it, though.
It wasn't until Rory found out that Tristan had a girl down in his new school, that she knew it was over.
Sure she cried, wallowed with her sympathetic Mother, thought about him.
But she didn't regret a minute of it.
After a while when the hurt died down she understood what happened. It wasn't horrible, and it wasn't meant to be.
As simple as that.
She remembered a term she had heard a lot while she was growing up, 'Why cry over spilt milk?'. Why cry over something that was inevitable.
They were too different, they were from different words.
He was bad.
She was good.
Two plus two equals four.
Right and wrong.
She saw what people had saw when they talked about her and Tristan together. Her mind was no longer clouded.
Good or bad? She didn't know.
What she also didn't know was why she didn't feel those things with Dean.
Why Tristan Dugrey? A question that she needed answered.
Why someone so wrong? Was it her? Why so attracted to someone so bad, wrong, flawed?
She had loved him, no doubt about it. Had she had an everlasting love, something that would haunt her for the rest of her life? Was she missing out on the 'one' for her? Probably not.
Why had she been so convinced that she was right about Tristan, and everyone else was wrong? How could she have been so blind?
A zebra can't change it's stripes.
She used to read a book about that when she was little. Tristan can't change who he is.
It scared her sometimes, to think about what she had felt with him, something that she had never felt before.
She worried she would never feel that way.
She had slept with Dean later, while he was married, trying to feel that dangerous rush that she had felt with Tristan, but that was short lived.
She was in Yale now, her second year.
She no longer that innocent girl that she had once been in Yale, and she liked to think that she was wiser than she had been.
She was writing a story for the Yale Daily News when she felt a pair of eyes on her. Her mind immediately went to the way Tristan had, and she almost expected to look up and see him staring at her with that look.
Instead she met a pair of dark brown eyes.
"Logan Huntzberger." The blonde haired boy announced, sticking his hand out to her, smirking.
"Rory Gilmore." Rory said skeptically, when their hands met, Rory got the feeling of tingling and warmness that she remembered oh-so-well.
"You knew to the Daily News?" She asked.
"No, I took a year off last year to sail around the world with a couple friends." He answered, still smirking at her. She couldn't tell what he was thinking about her, but his eyes seemed like they knew something about her, something that she didn't know about herself.
She did know that she wanted to know.
Maybe she was still that same girl she was all those years ago.
She got to know Logan Huntzberger, and she learned that he was cocky, confident, womanizer, and from the world that she would never completely understand.
History is destined to repeat itself, right?
He was bad.
She was good.
Black and white.
Right and wrong.
He was flawed.
But this time so was she.
Sometimes two plus two doesn't always equal four.
She her mind was cloudy when she thought about him, she loved him, but this time it was different.
They weren't so different, they clashed together and the colors bled into each other.
This time there was a grey.
It was different from the last time, she knew that they could and would last.
How did she know this?
She was getting married tomorrow.
There was a right and wrong, she had learned that.
Maybe marrying someone so flawed was something wrong.
There was probably a perfect right guy for her somewhere out there. Someone who would make her happy, but wouldn't cloud her mind or make her feel tingly and warm.
The a wrong kind of guy would do that for her.
This time there weren't so many questions.
This time, there was only one.
How can something so wrong feel so right?
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A/N: That was completely spur of the moment. I didn't think of any of that, i just opened WordPerfect and started typing. Most of the time I had my eyes closed, and just let my mind do its thing.
Some of you might have been confused by this, it's a story that you really have to think about. It is supposed to reach you on another level.
This was a one shot by the way.
I don't think I'd be able to continue this.
Please, please tell me what you think!