Disclaimer: I don't own 7th Heaven.
That's Life
"What did you do?!" Eric exclaimed as he walked into the living room.
He surveyed the poor room and was shocked by what he saw. The floor was covered with toys and empty dishes and there were open bags of chips and other various snacks spread over the coffee table and chairs. It was a horrible mess. And right in the middle of it all was his family, lounging around in their pajamas, even though it was only six p.m.
"You haven't been here twenty-four hours," Eric yelled, "How could you create so much chaos?!"
Matt shrugged, "The kids needed to play."
"Should you be yelling, Reverend Camden?" Cecilia asked, concerned, "It can't be good for your heart."
"I'm fine," Eric sighed, "Look, it's not that I'm not just thrilled that you're all here, but if you're just gonna sit there, letting a mess gather, then GET OUT!"
"Simon made us stay!" Matt yelled, defending himself.
"Ruthie made me stay!" Simon angrily glared at Matt first, then his little sister.
"I didn't think you'd all just sit there, staring into space!" Ruthie shouted.
"You're one to talk," Simon muttered.
"And just what is that supposed to mean?!" Ruthie demanded.
"You're doing the same exact thing!" Simon shouted back.
"You know what I say, 'if you can't beat them, join them'," Ruthie chirped with a toss of her long brown ponytail.
"Since when do you say that?" asked Mary, genuinely puzzled.
Ruthie just rolled her eyes in response.
The phone rang. Happy barked. Eric looked around.
The phone rang. Happy barked. Eric looked around.
The phone rang. Happy barked-
"Happy!" Simon hushed his dog.
The phone rang. Happy didn't bark. Eric looked around. "Isn't any gonna get that?" he finally snapped, looking around again.
"Oh, fine!" Lucy picked up the phone, "Hello?"
"Hey, Luce," Roxanne, Kevin's former police officer partner and one of Lucy's best friends, said. "How is everybody?"
"My whole family's here and we're all about to kill each other," Lucy flatly answered.
"That well, huh?"
"Yeah, so what's up?" Lucy questioned her pal.
"Oh, nothing really. I was just calling to say 'hi'," Roxanne replied.
"Well, 'hi'," Lucy said.
"Hi," Roxanne answered.
"This is certainly stimulating."
"Get off the phone!" Lucy yelled at her younger sister, who had picked up the other line. "Look I gotta go," Lucy told Roxanne, once Ruthie had hung up the other phone.
"Sure, no problem. I'll talk to you later, Luce. Bye."
"Bye," Lucy hung up.
"Lucy," Eric started, "what are you doing here? You have your own house."
"Well, fine, if you don't want me!" Lucy cried.
"Luce, stop! You're almost worse than Kylie," Sarah said covering her ears.
"Hey!" Cecilia said, furiously.
"Oops, did I say that out loud?" Sarah put her hand to her mouth in mock shock.
Cecilia glared at her.
"If looks could kill," Sarah shuddered.
Suddenly, there was crying over a baby monitor. Cecilia, Mary, and Sarah all shook their individual monitors, trying to determine from whom's the crying came from.
"Not us," Sarah set her baby monitor down.
Mary was still shaking hers, closer to her ear, though. "I can't tell."
"Uh, Honey," Carlos pointed to Johnny and Jessica lying across his and Mary's laps, sleeping.
"You know," Mary blushed, "when they're asleep like that, you kind of forget they're there." She smiled sheepishly.
Everyone stared at her.
Cecilia shook her head in disgust, "Come on," she pulled Simon off the couch, "that's ours."
"Can you check on Thomas?" Matt called after them as they walked out of the living room.
"Sure, I'll check on Tom-my!" Simon called back, grinning.
"Tho-mas!" Matt and Sarah yelled in unison.
Simon waved his hand over his head in answer.
"Want some chips?" Ruthie asked her father, offering him some Doritos.
"Sure, why not," Eric replied, still trying to figure out how his oldest daughter got so, so, well, stupid. Must have been when she dyed her hair blond, he thought. Good thing she went back to a brunette. Could've been even dumber.
Eric plopped down on the couch next to his youngest daughter, who was also, obviously, his smartest child. "It's like you always say," he told Ruthie, "If you can't beat them join them." He shoved some chips into his mouth.
"When does she say that?" Mary asked, still truly confused.
Carlos patted Mary's head. "It's OK, Honey. Everything's just fine."
Ruthie laughed. She just couldn't hold it in any longer.