Chapter 2
Darkest Before Dawn
Oh! I forgot this last chapter, I got the rigid framework of this story while reading Aveestar's "Bloody Rose"...so you know what? Go read it. NOW.
Amy's feet moved in a particular pattern that she couldn't figure out. Her heels clicked along the sidewalk somewhat rhythmically, she focused on that before anything else. Thoughts wondering over the fact that Shadow might notice her bruises. Suddenly a voice called her from her thoughts, she looked up to find it and realized she was already in the middle of Station Square. She moved fast when she was thinking. "Amy!" Her mind whirled in a torrent for a second before she caught on to who it was.
The current bane of her existence, Sonic the Hedgehog, "..." Her eyes fell over him, she said nothing as she looked into those green eyes. He had a bit of guilt in his eyes, but at the same time he had that cool, uncaring air about him. She just drew in a breath and glowered at the ground, he didn't know what he had done to her. He crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eye ridge. He was waiting for her to speak, but she wasn't going to, she guessed he didn't view the rejection any different than any of the other times. He only did every time she mentioned it, but this time he had really done it.
"Are you still upset?" He acted like this was odd, though she didn't see it as odd at all. Her eyes shifted as they watched the ground. She noted a small bug crawling across the pavement, she felt Sonic's eye burning into her, blaming her for being upset. She just heaved another deep breath and slowly raised her green eyes to meet his own. Flashes from the previous day came through her mind again. "Amy?" She tried to pull herself from her thoughts, but she drown herself in what had happened. She wanted so badly to forget about it, but she couldn't. Then she thought of the one thing that had allowed her to stop, Shadow. It did stop once she thought of him.
Amy finally looked up into his eyes and smiled slightly, a fake one, but Sonic never noticed those kinds of things, "No way...you're not that great!" She put the pep back in her voice, and she kept the fake smile plastered across her own face. She had cuts on her arms that she had done, and she could still find the nerve to lie to this hedgehog. He didn't notice though, he just smiled and her and patted roughly on the back.
"I knew you'd get over it!" He grinned, she just nodded to him. She shrugged her shoulders and turned away to leave. Her mind stayed focused on Shadow, so she didn't cry. She couldn't believe she could think of the black hedgehog as an escape from Sonic. She had never seen Shadow like that before. He was cute, but still, Sonic had always been her primary focus, but now she almost thought she could be falling in love with him. Amy slowly shook off the thought, because she didn't want to be in love again, but she knew Shadow had earned the chance.
She nodded her head, "Yeah, well, I gotta be somewhere, so I'll see you later." Amy stared at Sonic to see if he saw even the slightest hint of sadness, he didn't. He raised an eyebrow at her, questioning her on where she had to be. Anger overcame her as she saw the look. He had no right to question her like this. Not after what he had done. She stared blankly at the blue hedgehog, she began to walk off again and she felt his hand on her shoulder. The girl managed to force a smile, and looked back at him, "Sonic, I need to go."
"Where do you have to be?" His voice was extremely strict. She clenched her fists and stared away from him. She didn't believe she had to answer him but she knew it was just going to stir emotions if she didn't. Her body trembled with the familiar depression she had felt the other day.
Her eyes met his then drifted back down to the ground, "Cream's." Her lie completely shocked her, the least she could have done was said it wasn't his business. But she had just completely lied to the hedgehog she had loved for so many years, the hedgehog she had almost killed herself over. She wouldn't look up at him and she felt his eyes burning like spears into her body, she took a deep breath and knew she had to stick with this story, but she knew Shadow and Sonic were friends, Shadow may very well tell him she was over there after she left. The eyes slowly got a gentler look about them and she felt his grip loosen on her shoulder, then his hand dropped. Amy wondered what had him so riled up about her having to be somewhere.
She raised her eyes to look at him and she saw him smile slightly, "Well, okay." A slight relief came over her when she saw the smile, but she couldn't help but despise him for it. Amy started off again, she felt him to continue looking at her as she walked. She bit her lower lip hard and broke the skin of it. A curse escaped her mouth and she brought her hand up to wipe away the new flow of blood. "Amy..." He just wasn't going to quit, she wiped angrily at her mouth for a few more moments then turned back to him, the distance between them having increased, making her slightly more comfortable. "Are you sure nothing's wrong?" Amy realized he had noticed something was bothering her, this made her feel a little better at least he wasn't completely blind.
"Sonic, I promise you, I'm absolutely fine, but I really have to go!" She gave him a reassuring nod. She kept building up lies to him, she still loved him somewhere in her heart and this formed a clot of guilt somewhere in her veins. She simply brushed it off and began to walk away again, she felt his eyes leave her this time.
---
Shadow moaned as he watched Vector and Espio converse in his own apartment. "Guys..." His voice was simply drowned out by their talks of whatever it was they were about. It was something having to do with some mission, they were detective though they had just decided that his building was going to be the best thing to talk about. He didn't care if they both lived down the hall, they could have this in their own apartments. He gritted his teeth, sick of sitting their listening to the two of them, he liked them both okay, but right now he wanted to be alone. He let his feet hit the floor from his position on the couch, "Espio! Vector!" That caught their attention and both their glances turned to the black hedgehog. He simple crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at them, "Is it necessary to have this conversation in the comfort of my home?"
Vector slowly raised a hand to the back of his head and gave Shadow a guilty expression, he seemed apologetic, but Espio was the one to speak, "Oh, sorry Shadow, guess we just caught up in the conversation." Shadow quirked an eye ridge and nodded his head. They both started for the door, then Espio whirled back around to face him, "Are you expecting company or something?" Shadow shook his head, he wasn't expecting any, but he was going to get some.
"Then why do you want us out so badly?" The black hedgehog heaved a desperate sigh and gave Vector a look of dismay. Espio was giving the gator a similar look as he slowly patted him on the back and started urging him out the door. Vector seemed confused enough, it wasn't like him to be stupid, Shadow just figured he was having a bad day.
"Privacy, Vector, privacy." Vector snapped his fingers in realization and stopped having to be pushed by Espio and made his own way out. Espio gave Shadow a quick wave and closed the door behind him. Shadow laughed at the two of them, he wondered where Charmy could have possibly been, but then just decided it would have been even noisier had he been there. He slowly flicked on the TV and saw it talking about some women who had been raped. The reporter on the news had an extremely nasally voice and made Shadow cringe each time she spoke up. He didn't turn it off though, after a few seconds of watching it, not taking in a word, he figured he may as well go outside as this place was getting a little too cozy for his tastes.
He slowly moved over to the door and opened it, he blinked as he saw the pink hedgehog standing there, "Amy?" Amy smiled softly at him and he just stared at her for a moment, she gave him a slight nod and then a wave. Shadow had no clue what to say to her as he definitely wasn't expecting her though his mind had been on nothing but her over the past few hours.
"Hey, Shadow." He smiled at her after a second and wondered if he should invite her in or not, his apartment was genuinely a mess and she had never even been in it before. He didn't have to do anything though because he felt her tug on his wrist, "You looked like you were about to go ut anyway, you so wanna go for a walk?" That was a relief. He was really bad with girls, when he had said 'no' to Rouge it had sounded like the meanest, most blunt rejection in the history of absolutely ever. He had thought it was being subtle.
He couldn't help but maintain his usual stature though, "Hn...whatever, Amy." His heart had basically skipped a beat when he saw her, but he saw no reason to come forth with information like this. A grin came over her, as she seemed to like this behavior. She was glad he wasn't overly nice like Sonic had been at times, when he hadn't run off. Then again, Shadow was just acting like himself at least he wasn't running away.
She gave him a slight pout and forced him out of the door way, he closed it behind him, signaling he didn't mind going with her, "You know Shadow..." He took his arm back and just walked with her, as being pulled by her wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world. "...I thought about you a lot last night, that was really sweet of you to walk me home." She wasn't lying to Shadow, even if she wasn't telling him the whole truth either, she had thought of him a lot last night, which was the reason she was still standing in front of him.
He just sent her a mindful glance, "Isn't that nice? You weren't thinking about Sonic?" She just shook her head and placed her hands on her hips. She bit her cheek at the mention of Sonic her heart thudding in a sense of sadness, but after looking at him she forgot all about it. She was beginning to get really comfortable around this hedgehog she had hardly known before. She looked down at the ground and decided on a suitable answer for him. She wanted to scream how could she have been thinking of him after what he had done, and she would have, had Shadow and Sonic not been somewhat of friends.
"How could I? After all, he did reject me for the last time." She felt him give her a skeptical smile. She glanced up and realized she had been correct about the glance she was getting from him. Amy couldn't hold back a real smile as she looked up at him. She wanted to be in love with him, but then again, she didn't. The female hedgehog figured he didn't believe her, and she had thought of Sonic, but he had rejected her for the last time, she wasn't running back to him again.
Shadow redirected his glance and she felt the red eyes leave her, "I bet he has." He scowled in his direction. Even though he was wrong, she couldn't help but idolize him at the moment. To be honest, when she fell in love, she fell really hard. She had a nauseating feeling that told her she was falling really hard right now, she was praying he was too. He noticed her staring, but didn't mention it, as he was enjoying the attention she was giving him.
"Come on...a girl can only get rejected so many times." Shadow smiled in her direction and nodded his head. His eyes slowly moved up and down her once he got the nerve to look at her and then he shrugged his shoulders. He didn't believe she was fully over Sonic, but she was definitely trying this time at least. She gave him a slight smile, "Did I get on your nerves, showing up like that?" Shadow just shook his head quickly, he needed to spend some more time with her before he figured anything out.
"No, I didn't have anything better to do anyway." She gave him a quick smile, then turned back to the ground. Her thoughts raced back to what she had done last night. She wondered if it was wrong or if it had genuinely helped. She didn't know what this day would lead to, but she couldn't help but question if she would do what she had again tonight. He eyed her, getting the vague impression something was wrong with her, but he didn't ask.
She took a deep breath, "He really hurt me this time, Shadow." He blinked, wondering why she had chosen him to confide him, he had never been too good at comforting people who were upset. Actually, he basically sucked at it. "I don't know why, but it was the way he said it...he was so mean, it's like he really never will care." He kept his eyes focused on her, she was really pretty. He didn't know how Sonic couldn't care about a girl like her, she had been somewhat annoying but most girls were in their own way.
He sighed and shrugged his shoulders once again, "I don't know what to tell you, Amy...I don't know Sonic that well..." He figured he really meant that, he was never going to love Amy or even like her. So it was probably best that she was moving on, "You'll find someone, Amy...even if it isn't Sonic." Her green eyes rushed up to meet his and a slight blush came over her cheeks and she had to look at the ground once again.
She slowly ran her hand down her arm, wondering how the phrase her next question, "I think I already have." She mumbled quietly, noting his stare as she finished, "But...when you rejected Rouge..." She changed the subject before he could question her any further. "...did you feel bad, do you think Sonic feels bad?" Shadow nodded his head, Sonic had seemed to be feeling slightly guilty before, he thought it was guilt anyway, he never could tell with that stupid faker.
'Already has? What is she talking about?' He kept his thoughts to himself as he focused on answering the question she had asked, "No...not really." He cursed himself mentally for saying that, now it was going to look like Sonic didn't give a shit. He took a deep breath and waited for her response as she simply looked him over. He had spent more time thinking about her, and being with her in the past two days than he had...ever. The only time they had even had a serious conversation was on the ARK, when she had to convince him to help everyone out.
She sighed after a moment, she didn't know if that meant Sonic didn't feel bad at all or what, she just simply nodded her head, at least he hadn't lied, "I wonder if Sonic does..." Shadow kept his eyes on her for a long time before he responded she kept moving though, her eyes staring into the ground blankly. Finally she lifted her glance back up to him, wanting a response. He just shrugged his shoulders.
"Probably." He decided not to mention his encounter with the blue hedgehog yesterday. She would probably just get upset and wonder what all they had said. He red eyes focused on the space before him, he realized he had been completely staring at her. 'She's...so pretty...' His thoughts frightened him yet again, first he thought about her constantly and now he thought she was pretty. Something was seriously happening in his mind and he couldn't figure out what. After Maria, Shadow had no intentions of 'loving' anyone ever again.
Her position shifted as she stopped moving, he walked for a second after she did and then turned to look at her, "Probably...man, he's such a jerk!" Shadow gave her a look of interest as she stared at the ground in what seemed to be a fit of anger. He let her finish though, as she looked madder than he had ever witnessed, "He doesn't care about anyone but himself!" Shadow glanced behind him, they were in the park now, so no one was around to see her. He wasn't embarrassed but he was hoping Sonic or someone wasn't standing nearby. He walked back the slight distance he had left from her and put his hands on her shoulders reassuringly.
"Take it easy, Amy...you're acting like a two year old." She took a deep breath and nodded her head, this behavior from Sonic would have resulted in her asking what she had done wrong, but for some reason it almost seemed comforting when Shadow did it. She gave him a warm smile and inhaled after a second.
She just shook her head and pushed some hair behind away from her face, she took Shadow by surprise by simply sitting down. He watched her lower herself to the ground slowly, seeming to be somewhere lost in thought, "Sorry..." Her green eyes flashed a bit of guilt as she looked up to him again, there was something else in her eyes as well, but Shadow was too dense to figure out what it was.
"...yeah." He sighed and shook his head slightly. He sat down beside her though and decided to ask the question that had been weighing on his mind since she mentioned it, "Amy, what did you mean you already found someone else?" Amy just shrugged her shoulders and didn't say anything; the fear of rejection haunting her like it never had before. She toyed with the sleeve of her coat and said nothing. Her body shivered with the thought of repeating the other day. She almost smiled at the thought of being able to bleed all her feelings away, figuring that is what she would do when she got home. She couldn't put herself out there to be hurt again, even if Shadow might have deserved a chance it was too risky. Guilt began to form in the pit of her stomach with the blame she was placing on the dark hedgehog. "Amy?" His voice pulled her from her thoughts once again.
She glanced up to him again, her mind thrown into a torrent of complete disarray, she wasn't sure if she wanted to go home and feel suicidal again and do what she had last night, or if she wanted to tell Shadow that she cared about him, like she had for Sonic, fear got the better of the small hedgehog and she said nothing for the longest time, then she decided he deserved an answer, "...just...I think I may have." She thought it was fitting, it didn't tell him anything, but it didn't avoid the subject matter.
"Who?" She winced at the question, she couldn't answer this one right now. Suddenly she stood up and grabbed his arm again. A brief smile came over her, as she expertly avoided answering. He eyed her and didn't stand up for a moment, then figured fighting her wasn't doing any good as she kept pulling, a smile forming across his own face. He slowly let her jerk him up off the ground.
"Come on, Shadow...do you have anything to do today?" Shadow slowly shook his head as he thought it over. He hadn't made any plans, and staying out of the house was avoiding Knuckles dropping by and quizzing him about Rouge.
He eyed her after a moment, then decided she was waiting on a verbal response, "No...not that I can think of...why?" Amy simply smiled at him and her eyes lit up.
She bit her lip slightly, and thought, 'Well...maybe if I spend some time with him, I can figure things out.' She nodded her head, seeming to be more cheerful than she had been yesterday or moments ago. He stared at her for a long time before she spoke again, "Well, then why don't we spend the day together, hm?" He wondered if he wanted to do that or not, it would give him a chance to get to know her and maybe provide some insights into why he had been so infatuated with her as of late.
"Sure, why not?" She wrapped her arms around him in a hug for a moment before letting go of him. He stared, a red tint coming to his cheeks. He felt the familiar tug on his arm as she started in another direction. He realized she had avoided answering his question and he wondered what the answer was. He didn't know if it was him or someone else, but she obviously didn't feel like disclosing that information to him.
---
Shadow kicked the dirt as he watched Amy doodle in the sand with a stick, she was smiling, then again she had been smiling for the larger portion of the day. He couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking and couldn't help thinking about her either, 'I never knew Amy was so...I mean, I don't know why I haven't noticed her before? She's a lot different when she's not around Sonic...'
She looked over at him, the sunset seemed to reflect a different color green in her eyes, "What are you looking at?" This triggered a blush in his cheeks, he turned away and looked out into the ocean which was a prettier shade than usual with the reflection of the colors in the sky. Shadow hadn't been one to notice sunsets in the past, but for some reason, being with Amy was making him notice a lot of different things. He felt her stare at him for a few more minutes then roll her eyes and look away.
"Nothing, and I guess we need to go home...it's getting late."
She nodded her head and walked over to him, she watched him to see what he was going to do and he seemed to be thinking about something or other. He turned away and she began to follow him. She wanted to ask him to walk her home, but she did not want to seem clingy. "Yeah..." He turned to her and gave her a look after a moment.
"I guess it would only be appropriate for me to walk you home." She simply smiled and nodded her head, Shadow seemed to be getting good at reading her mind. She couldn't help but hope that he didn't get too good at reading her feelings or he might find out a few things that she didn't need him to know. A thought crossed her mind about how he would feel if he knew she had done that, she wanted to know if he would care. She couldn't ask him though, so she'd have to remain curious.
He simply led her home, he didn't take her hand or anything. She watched him, he was in front and she caught him idly glance her direction. The walk felt like it took forever, the air was freezing. She shivered slightly and he sent her a look, "It's cold out here." Shadow nodded his head, he wanted to offer her something and he would have had he had anything to offer. He put his arm around her shoulder and she leaned against him.
The talked about nothing in particular the rest of the way to her house, he finally released her shoulder as she walked up to her house. A timid smile came over her face as she gave him a slight hug, he felt himself blush beneath his fur. He smiled slightly and caressed her back just slightly. Amy slowly gave him a kiss on the cheek and muttered, "Thank you, Shadow." Her voice was in a bit of a whisper and Shadow heard that vague depression return to her voice. He smiled and nodded at her as he turned to leave. He felt the slight red in his cheeks cease to go away. He didn't understand why he was blushing, you couldn't really see it because it was masked by his fur, but he could feel it.
'...why do I keep acting like this?' Amy stood on her porch and watched him leave again. She winced slightly as he disappeared from sight and she turned back towards her door. It was so plain, her pearl white teeth sunk into the skin of her lip as she thought about whether or not to go in. It was cold outside, but she felt as if she may be colder once she walked in. Her mind filled with thoughts of the blood on the floor mixed with Sonic. She wanted to concentrate on Shadow, but something about this house wouldn't let her. She had so many memories of Sonic here, he was all she had ever wanted in this house. Maybe she needed to get out, she slowly turned the knob and entered the somewhat messy quarters. The female hedgehog let her eyes drift softly about the room picking up what was around. Amy was always a cheerful person so she had pictures of everyone, mainly Sonic. Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at them all, a gasp escaped her throat as she flung her hand towards one, smacking it to the ground with tremendous force.
"I hate you, Sonic!" She screamed it as loud as her voice would allow,then stared at the floor blankly. Glass scattered underneath the bottom of the photo. She growled and used her foot to kick it across the room, thankfully it didn't turn over. It just skidded across the carpet. She walked to the wall and snarled at another one as she tore it down viciously. Amytore through the pictures like acid through skin, throwing them to the floor, watching the glass scatter about the room. She even picked up one and ripped the actual picture.Green irisesstared at the picture in her hands. She held her teeth firmly together as she walked towards the garbage and let the pieces float freely into it.The pink hedgehogturned and saw one of herself. Amy growled, cursing herself, why would she have put a picture of that in her room?It seemed conceited and stupid to her now.She tore down the photo and slammed the frame down on to the floor, stepping on it hard enough to break it in half and it snapped. She reached for it and turned it over.Slowly hertrembling handspulled out her picture and started to shred it. She tore a jagged line straight down her face, then shredded it into seemingly thousands of tiny pieces. She walked to throw it away, but stopped. She simply put the pieces furiously into a drawer and stormed into the kitchen.
She picked up the knife steadily and stormed into the bathroom. She couldn't get the blue hedgehog off her mind. It went back and forth over every thought she had ever held about him. Amy slowly rolled up the sleeves of her coat and began the procedure the same as she had done before. The knife sliced through her tender flesh with ease. She saw the tiny red lines forming and blood escaping them, her overturned wrist becoming a mass of red. She smiled and continued. Her thoughts refused to think, they got caught in nothing but a jumble of anger and depression. She continued the process like a serial killer in a room of innocent children. Finally, as the young hedgehog reached to cut again, her mind stopped being jumbled. It wasn't Sonic this time though, it was Shadow. Suddenly she dropped the knife to the floor and fell to her knees in the almost puddle of blood that had been formed. The pink hedgehog suddenly felt horrific. She didn't even clean up the mess she jerked her jacket off and it fell to the floor, bloodstains slowly soaking into it. Her body dragged itself tiredly to her room, she collapsed on her bed.
The sheets were white and she saw red magically appear on them, she closed her eyes. The back of her eyelids wouldn't show her dark, just Shadow. That was all she could think about and what he would think of what she had just done. Was she being selfish? The girl wanted to kill herself again and then thought of the consequences, she didn't know if she cared. Her mind slowly drifted into an unknown sleep, a sleep where strange dreams awaited her once again.
Amy watched the tide, quietly. No one else was around, it seemed to be the hour of twilight. She watched the tide, not saying anything, not thinking anything. Suddenly her head jerked up to the sky, there were two moons. Yellow and full moons sat up in the sky. Her eyes widened as she saw this and her head turned back to the tide. It had almost reached her, with every flow of the waves it got higher. It began to touch her feet as she stepped back. "Why is the tide so high?" But it didn't stop where it normally did.
Her mind seemed to swirl and it just got higher and higher. Before she could think she was being overtaken by a wave of some sort. She tried to take a breath and the water came over her head. It was suffocating her. Her world went black, she was dying. Just as her mind seemed content with the idea of departing she felt a jerk on her shoulder and a mumble from outside of the water. Her head moved up but it was too blurry, just the water. She felt the arm but she couldn't see it. Amy couldn't see the surface of the water, then finally she saw it. Nothing but a blurry mixture of colors was on the other side. A figure as well, the one trying to save her, but she could make nothing of it out. But the grip was firm. Her mind was beginning to drift again, she was dying. She couldn't breathe. Suddenly she felt herself being lifted from the water, she didn't fight it. It pulled her up, she opened her mouth to breath and her eyes began to drift towards her savior...
Amy gasped as she jerked herself up, the cold sweat from the last night trickling down her forehead and back once again. She hadn't seen the person who saved her, she had wanted so badly to see. She closed her eyes, maybe they would still be there, but there was only blackness now. Nothing to provide her with any help, suddenly memories of the night came flooding back and tears began rolling down her pale cheeks. She stared out the open doorway and saw all the pictures. Sonic filled her mind and the thoughts came flooding back, like the tide had rushed in so quickly in the dream. The green-eyed hedgehog let out a choked sob and suddenly jerked herself from the bed, the realization that she had not even removed her heels hit her, but she ignored it. She grabbed her coat and ran for the door. The girl didn't even know the time she just ran out. The burst of cold hit her like a brick wall, her mind frosting over like ice. She began to run as fast as she could, not even she realized where she was going.
Her mind swirled again, Amy couldn't grasp what she was trying to think of now. It was just swirling like a sort of whirl pool. She felt like she had in the dream before, she couldn't breathe. The night air was piercing her lungs, maybe it was freezing them, maybe she would die before she reached wherever she was running. Maybe she was running to the beach. The air was cold and the sky was completely black, no stars, no moon. It fit her emotions, dark, empty. The pink hedgehog faced forward and just kept running, the adrenaline pumping through her veins like a steady heart beat, maybe that was her heart beat. The only thing that proved she was still alive. Amy could grasp absolutely nothing, not Sonic, not Shadow, not her dream. She was running, that was all she knew. Maybe she would end up being grabbed by some rapist and killed and they would all be sorry she was gone. Maybe Sonic would regret treating her like he had, maybe...Shadow... Amy had dropped the coat somewhere, andit was far too dark to turn back now, everyone would know what she had done.
She felt the icy wind on her cuts, it seemed to breathe new life into them, the dried blood was still on her arm though the wounds had ceased to bleed. Everyone would know when they saw her, she tried to think of an excuse to say, why did she have to excuse it though? Amy felt she had to, but she didn't understand why. Her body ached but continued to sprint, tiredness beginning to seep into her veins. The fragile hedgehog slowly felt herself slow up and she felt the the force of frigid ground... blackness ensued.
Oh, cut me some slack. The end is somewhat choppy and doesn't sound great, I'll do better next time. I swear. That as at midnight that I wrote the ending, but I needed to do it. So...therefore...it's a little blah...
Whoaa...that's not the END...I just meant the end of the chapter...it's gonna be about another week though because my computer is being looked at and the almost finished chapter 3 is on there...