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Now, the disclaimer, with your host Yami and his guest…Presea! Presea: Chances of escaping this with sanity… 0.99 out of 12,345,222Yami: She's so happy…
Presea: Happiness is unimportant.
Yami: Why do I feel like this is getting no where…
Presea:…
Yami: Hmm… -looks over cards-
FIVE HOURS LATER
Presea: …
Yami: Menthos fresh mints, Meeennnthos fresh mints, Menthos fresh mints, Menthos fresh and full of life! Menthos… the fresh-maker!
Presea: DAMMIT! FINE! Shadow does not own ToS, Yu-Gi-Oh, Menthos, or a song mentioned in this chapter!
Yami: Gaha. Menthos conquers all!
Chapter 4: Let the Party Begin!
Alcohol wasn't at all uncommon in Iselia. In fact, a party just wasn't a party without wine. You know what that means! To celebrate Yuan's 'rabbit-ness' the whole group was throwing a party, with wine and beer, and all the other 'goodies' Lloyd, or rather, Regal (being the one with lots of money) could get his hands on.
"This is gonna be awesome!" Lloyd cheered; wiggling in excitement while Kratos ran a hand through his hair. "Lloyd… before you go off and get yourself drunk, I'm setting some ground rules. One; Go outside the village without someone who is somewhat sober, I'll kill you." He paused to let his words sink in. "Two; If you feel the need to vomit, do so away from the crowd because they will not be happy with having half-digested peas on their clothing, if I get complaints, I will kill you." He paused dramatically again, "Three, and last; Drink all you wish, just don't forget that you'll feel Hell for it tomorrow morning, if I wake up to a house full of hung-over men and women, I—" Lloyd rolled his eyes, "You'll kill me." He finished for his father, who merely grunted and looked around.
"Have you seen Yuan?" he asked.
"Nope…"
Kratos looked around again and frowned, he heard something very faint. He turned around and narrowed his eyes looking towards the horizon where that irritable noise was coming from. Three tiny rheiards could be seen. "Regal… Zelos… and Sheena are coming I believe…" The angel muttered.
"Uh?" Lloyd looked in the same direction, "I don't see anything, Kratos, maybe you're imagining it…" He squinted and Kratos held up a hand, silencing him. "Watch." He stated simply, gesturing out the window where the flying machines were slowly becoming visible to Lloyd's eyes. "Oh! Hey, you still have kitty-vision!"
"I resent that…"
Now, you all may very well be wondering 'Well, what the hell are they celebrating?'. Well, my dear readers, the people of Iselia really can't think up any good excuses, so it's probably some sort of 'yay-we-know-the-bunny's-really-an-angel' celebration. Please, don't ask; just go along with it.
Anyway, ten minutes later, greetings were exchanged and the heroes were seated in Colette's living room while the girl apologized profusely. Over and over and over and over. "Dammit all, Girl! I forgive you!" Yuan shrieked, though it came out as a pitiful squeal.
Sheena stared at him and grinned, scooping the rabbit up and holding him against the light from the window. "Are you all sure this is Yuan? I mean, this little thing is so cut, and cuddly, and adora—AH!" She squealed when Yuan sank his little teeth into her thumb. "Ouch! You stupid puffball! Get back here!" She screamed in rage and took off after the oddly colored animal.
Zelos sighed, "I told everyone she was a violent banshee, but did anyone listen up 'til now? Nooo"
Five hours later"Gaha! That's funnyyy…" Kratos watched in silent awe as Lloyd stumbled along with Zelos. They'd only had what, three drinks and this was how they acted? "Pitiful…" he snorted, turning away to sip at his own cup of wine. Of course, the angel wasn't going to get drunk. He hadn't done that for four thousand years. "Unless you count that time…"
Ah, the joys of flashbacks"Kratos! What the… where's my drink!" Anna turned her head towards her husband and nearly died of laughter.
Kratos Aurion, the single, solitary, most serious man on the Earth's surface, was wobbling about giggling like a sugar-high child on free balloon day. "A-Anna!" He began merrily, "I thought…" He paused to giggle, "I thought Th-that this was JUICE! GAHA! Funny, eh?" He stumbled past and headed for the door of their Inn-room. "I wonder if Mrs. Room Cleaner-upper would like some happy juice!" He tripped on the carpet and found himself splayed on the floor. "Wow… The floor's so clean… and it smells like minty freshness!" he sat up and doubled over in laughter. "Mint… Wow…"
Anna raised an eyebrow and adjusted some long brown hair behind her ear. "Kratos… Hun… why don't you just lay down? Hmm? That couldn't be too bad, could it?" She gently took his arm and the auburn-haired man hugged her tightly, "I wuff you… Anna! My dear, sweet, wifey!" He looked around for a moment. "I smell bacon… do YOU smell bacon?" he sniffed the air, which, in reality, smelled of nothing but the decrepit inn.
"Kratos…" Anna tried again slowly. She'd never seen her husband drunk, but so far he just seemed overly happy and giggly. "Come on, now… sit down." She inched closer to him.
"But Anna-Wanna…" Kratos began, "I want bacon!"
Anna blinked and sighed in desperation. "Sit down in the bed and fall asleep and I'll give you…" She paused and tried not to giggle openly, "B-bacon…" She stuttered finally with a snort.
"You snorted, Anna…" Kratos pointed out, "Don't mock me." He swayed dangerously and scowled when Anna caught him. "I can stand on my own, thank you." He barked. "Now, if you ex…ex…whatever me, I'm going to find something to eat." He then began to hobble towards the door, chuckling over some secret joke of his. Anna held her hands in front of her eyes when a thick thud echoed through the room.
"Who told the door to be here?"
The end of my pointless, OoC flashback is nigh.
Kratos felt his face heat up just at the memory and he wisely pushed the wine away and took to examining his surrounding cautiously. Though the world was obviously safe, the angel couldn't help but wish for something that would make his constant paranoia pay off.
During his look around, Kratos saw some sights he personally longed to record and use for blackmail.
First of all, we had Sheena, flirting with every man in sight, and collapsing around in a fit of giggles while Presea was nearby flapping her wings and claiming to be a seagull.
Next in line, you could see Regal, doing nothing inconspicuous really, he was being wise like Kratos and sipping at a single glass of wine, that of course, didn't save him from hordes of folk just rambling on about some completely idiotic thing. Truthbetold, the president looked ready to kill.
About five feet to his left was Genis and Raine, Genis was trying to grab some liquor from a nearby table while Raine slapped his hand away again, and again, and again. That is, until the boy exploded and started screaming about his sibling being a drunken cow and yet still overprotective while Raine countered by screaming about… Hell, Kratos'd be damned if he knew what she was shrieking about. All the while Colette skipped along singing what sounded like a hymn and a lullaby mixed together into the foulest song he'd ever heard. Thank the Goddess she wasn't completely drunk.
Finally, Kratos laid eyes on Lloyd and Zelos, singing merrily along with a band of men, and he'd be surprised if their song sounded any better than Colette's did. Now, where was Yuan? Kratos turned around, expected to see the rabbit sitting in his home made cage. It was empty. "Hmm? Where is he?" Kratos looked around and felt his blood run cold.
Yuan was standing on the table with his big blue head submerged in liquor. "Dammit! Yuan, you're going to get alcohol poisoning! Or worse… you'll get drunk!" He yanked his fellow angel from the drink and watched as the rabbit flounced about in a drunken state.
"Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro…" Yuan hung his head and watched in amusement as his own ears wiggled, "Can ya tie 'em in a knot? Can ya tie 'em in…in a bow?" He hiccuped and ignored Kratos who was trying to catch him as he bounced about. "Can ya throw 'em o'er your shoulder like a ...a… Coversationable soldier?" he giggled, "Do your ears. Hang. Low?" With that, the renegade-gone-rabbit bowed and fell off the counter and into tankard of ale. With a shrill giggle he raised a paw and squealed, "Here's to happiness, here's to Flamploosably magnificent words, and…" he hiccuped drunkenly, "HERE'S TO GOOD BEER!" With that said he clambered out of the liquid and flopped onto the floor. "I feel so giddy… and happy… and nice… and happy… and giddy… and nice…" He looked up and squealed into the face of Noishe, who was now blocking the exit into a flamploosably wonderful world. "Move it… Muttsey!" Yuan mumbled, swishing a paw towards the protozoan.
"You drunk little weasel!"
"Drunk wittle wabbit, you mean." Yuan pointed an accusing paw towards Noishe for the silly mistake.
"Ugh. You stink!"
"My good sir, are you… you hinting…" Yuan giggled, "That I passed gas?"
Noishe made a disgusted sound, "You're worse as a drunk!"
"Fank you… gaha…"
"Not a compliment…"
"Oh…" Yuan's face fell momentarily and then he brightened once more. "I'm sure it was just a mistake! No hard feelings!"
Noishe sighed and looked around for some sort of savior. He had no such luck, as the rest of the group had either passed out, or (In Kratos and Lloyd's case) was hauling their son out of the forest. "Come on, Yuan…" Noishe pleaded, "Just come with me so we can go home."
Yuan blinked and snorted, "Chya!" He exclaimed, hopping away, "I'ma gonna find me some beer!"
If Noishe could have only had time to hit his head against a wall, which, by the way, would listen far better than Yuan. "That's it!" Taking care not to lick off any ale, Noishe lifted the rabbit and trudged back to Colette's house. At least, if luck was on his side, Yuan would be half-human and hung-over come morning.
Done! Alright, I have to admit, this chapter, out of them all, was the one most worthy of being rated T, but I also (for one of the first times) had a total BLAST writing it! I hope you enjoyed!