Well, a few people might not have gotten a review response. Sorry about that… I'm a procrastinator to the strongest sense of the world. God, you all ought to see me with assignments. Heh, 'Yes mom, I'm doing my book report' eh… I got ten days…
'Doing it mom!' Five days
!'Working, Mumsey' one day.
'Y'know… I ought to start that report… nah, I got ten minutes' twelve am, day before it's due.
Yeah, that's my life. Anyway! This chapter was TOTALLY inspired by 'Love Me Do' by The Beatles! If you ever have a chance, you ought to listen to it! This chapter involves characters singing songs, I tried to get some suitable tunes for them but it didn't go too well. Don't worry though, the whole chapter won't be that! Let's get a list of songs up here now! This is a really weird chapter, but it's inspiring and fun to write and (Hopefully) read
Yuan: Love Me Do- Beatles
Kratos: Hero- Nickelback
Lloyd: My Evil Plan to Save the World- Five Iron Frenzy
Regal: Kung-Fu Fighting- KC and the Sunshine Band
Zelos: Lazy Bones- Thicke
Sheena: Hollaback Girl- Gwen Stefani
Raine: Fallen- Sarah Mclachlan
Genis: Somebody to Love- Queen
Presea: Nature Boy- Nat King Cole (I know, a man's supposed to sing it)
Colette: Here for a Good Time- Queen
NONE of these awesome songs are mine. I'm really sorry if this really weird change makes you dislike the chapter, but, it IS my story, and I figured a little karaoke never hurt anyone, and admit it, it would be hilarious to hear this… Now, then, the disclaimer
With your host Yami and his sidekick for the day…
Zelos
Yami: Why the hell did I get a song? –Waves around words to 'I like Big Butts'- That is a DIRTY song! DIRTY!
Zelos: Oh yeah, that's mine… I saw it on one of those computer things. Gimme it!
Yami: I'm burning this!
Zelos: NO! I'll never find that site again!
Yami: Tough cookies!
Zelos: C'mon, man! I'm a desperate man, here!
Kakashi from Naruto: … I think I'm in the wrong place…
Zelos: Is that… AN R RATED NOVEL?
Kakashi: … Why yes… yes it is. What is it to you…?
Zelos: Where'd you get that?
Kakashi: My pocket…
Zelos: No, no I mean WHERE.
Kakashi: -.- my pocket, you idiot.
Yami: What the hell are you doing here? Naruto's being held a few blocks from here. >> You're late.
Kakashi: I was lost on the road of life when an old lady lost her shoe and a cat hid it in a tree.
Yami: That's such a lie. How can you lie so horribly and keep a straight voice?
Kakashi: It's a gift.
Yami: Shadow doesn't own ToS, Yu-Gi-Oh, Naruto or any of those horrid songs.
Kakashi: I really did get lost on the road of life.
Zelos: I want that book.
Kakashi: It's mine, get your own.
Zelos: its called Come Come Paradise? DAMN I want that book!
Kakashi: -walks away with brand new scarring memories-
Yes, well… sorry for throwing ANOTHER unrelated character into the disclaimer. But Hatake Kakashi is my freaking hero. Heh, kind of the anime-tised form of myself. Not that I read… dirty novels… -cough-
Chapter 5: Karaoke Madness! Part 1 (?)
Yuan's eyes opened blearily and he whined loudly, clutching his head and rolling over. Ah, nine in the morning. "Gods… I feel like…" he couldn't finish his sentence as his mouth was occupied with the task of spewing out some nasty stuff. "Ugh… gross…" He moaned, wiping his lips and sitting up, staring at his hands blandly. Huh? Staring at his hands? "I'm back to normal? I'm back to normal!" he cried in delight looking in the mirror. He grinned at his half-elven face, nose, lips, hair, ears… wait… why were his ears gone? Why did his head feel too heavy? He looked up and opened his mouth.
"What was that?" Lloyd mumbled into a cup of strong tea that he was rather apprehensive to drink. Kratos looked at him while he and Regal dispersed the drinks around the hungover heroes. "Just drink it Lloyd." he scolded, "A few cups of that and your headache will be gone. Or it will have been reduced." He smirked humorlessly, "Regal or I could just heal you, but what would you all learn from that?" He watched a blue blur fly down the stairs and yelped when whatever it was latched onto his legs and was sobbing hysterically. "I'm a RABBIT-MAN!" Yuan screamed in obvious depression while Kratos' expression changed from shock, to anger, to pity, and finally, it settled on disgust. "Get off!" he hissed, kicking Yuan away lightly to that the half-elf cringed due to his alcohol-induced headache. "Ugh… here." Kratos turned around and added several teaspoons of honey to a cup of tea. "Drink this, and if you EVER do that again, being a rabbit won't be a problem." He looked at the table where the rest of the group was staring blankly.
"Oh, is everyone awake?" Colette skipped in merrily and even Lloyd glowered at her for being so pleasant.
"Yuan!" She squealed, hugging him tightly, earning a nervous squeal. "Oh? I'm sorry! I won't hug you again." She dusted off his clothing and looked around, "Why do you all have tea? Didn't know you drank tea! I'll drink tea too, if you do, Lloyd." The boy hung his head and watched Colette pour her drink happily and shuffled over so she could sit next to him. "Oh! Guess what?" She exclaimed, making them all wince, except our very ownnon-drinkersKratos and regal, "There's a karaoke contest tonight in Altamira and I signed us all up! Won't it be fun! They pick songs randomly and we have to sing them. I'm pretty sure someone is coming to tell us the songs now, since I saw one of the little messenger boys walking over!" She giggled happily and pranced to the door, which had been knocked as if on queue. "Here you go!" the boy bubbled, handing over ten pieces of paper, "everyone's real excited about hearing you guys sing!" He waved brightly and tramped off while Colette turned around to nine glowering faces. "Oh? I'm sorry… but we can't back out now." She whimpered pitifully and everyone sighed, grabbing their songs one by one.
"What the… My Evil Plan to Save the World? Who do they think I am? Mithos?"
"Hero… ironic… I nearly destroyed the world…"
"Now what in the name of… Fallen? It seems kind of sad…"
"Kung-fu fighting? Hyah? What kind of lyrics are these?"
"We're here for a good time! Yay! I like this one."
"Love me Do? HAH! Mine is completely repetitive! It's so easy… but so goddamn happy too…"
"Lazy Bones? Heh, this would work better for Lloyd!"
"Hollaback Girl, eh? Hmm… it's not so bad, I guess."
"Nature Boy…"
"I want somebody toooo…. LOOooooOoooOvvve!" As Genis finished his screechy note they quivered. Their singing skills all ranged from great to moderate, to 'Oh-God-Make-It-Stop!' and they'd just heard the latter. "Maybe you could call in sick, Genis." Lloyd suggested weakly as his headache returned. "I'm going to bed." He moaned.
"So are we…" Sheena spoke for the rest of the group, excluding Kratos, Regal, and Colette
"Hey, Colette…" The girl walked back to the door and saw a group of children that seemed vaguely familiar to Kratos. "You have a bunny-man here, don't ya, Colette?" A little girl piped up. "Is he as cool as the kitty?"
"Rabbit? Oh, Yuan! Yeah, he's here!" The group walked into the house and spotted Kratos immediately. "Lookie, guys! The kitty! But his ears are gone! Oh no!" Before the seraph could complain he had six children crawling on him like little bugs. The group began to edge away as his face turned red with rarely-seen anger. "Get. Off. Right. Now." He hissed dangerously as they pulled at his ears painfully. "NOW." The kids scrambled away and hid behind none other than Yuan, who had wander in blandly. "Eh? AH! Rabid children!" Yuan squealed and pulled away from them as they climbed up his arms instead. "Getitoff!" He cried, "Getitoffgetitoff!" The heroes gaped openly at the renegade, allowing their jaws to hang loosely as he bounced around near-tears. "HALP!" He sobbed.
"Scat!" Lloyd flicked at the children and helped Yuan to his unsteady feet. "Er… Are you okay?" he asked as the normally stoic half-elf sobbed into his hands. "That was horrible!" he screamed. Yuan looked up through puffy eyes and blinked. "I… what am I crying about?" he looked at Lloyd, who's face was frozen in a look that resembled the last mouse unfortunate enough to come across Raine in a bad mood. "You look like an idiot, Lloyd. Stop gaping." Lloyd obediently snapped his jaws shut and Yuan glanced around. "Now that those monsters are gone, I'm getting a nap." With that said Yuan left the flabbergasted youth and returned to a couch that was for the most part unoccupied, though Presea was curled up at the foot.
At seven o'clock they were all well rehearsed and prepared to some extent to sing. Each of them was wearing a little costume the Altamira staff suggested they wear, of course, no one wanted to spoil the surprise so they were covered in cloaks.
"I am against this… but my new 'Kitty-senses'," Kratos glared at Lloyd, "Seem to be under the impression that this will be amusing." He folded his arms and read over his song, though his had it memorized.
"What is they laugh at me? I can't sing! This song is so hard!" Yuan wailed.
"I really don't do high notes." Genis moaned while tuning his horrible singing voice.
"My song is so… sad." Raine muttered disapprovingly.
"I think I'm okay!" Sheena, Lloyd, and Colette said in unison.
"Let's get this over with." Regal mumbled and Presea simply nodded.
"Heh heh heh. This'll be great!" Zelos cackled.
With their final words spoken, the group of ten exited the house and launched their rheairds, heading towards what could only be explained as their doom.
And what a place of doom it was. The Altamira Hotel apparently had a massive pub downstairs, used for annual Karaoke competitions. The walls were a royal blue with red banners draping down every couple of feet.
Behind the curtains, Lloyd was grinning broadly as he'd been called up first. "Heehee! Watch me blow them all away!" he cheered.
"Oh Lloyd," Kratos responded sarcastically, "I'm sure you aren't that bad!" he smirked and clapped his son on the shoulder nonetheless. "Good luck though."
Lloyd pulled off his cloak to reveal a dazzlingly white tuxedo with black trim and a bright red bowtie. "Yeah!" he yelled, running onto the stage as music began to play. As the loud, bubbly intro blared, the Eternal Swordsman stared at the many faces watching him and felt almost sick. He opened his mouth and some feeble words entered the odd magitechnology that sent it resonating through the massive room.
"I have an evil plan,
to save the world for every man,
and I think it's better than
the way it's being run!"
The boy grinned and began to strut around the stage. Sure, he wasn't a great singer, and half the audience looked fit to die laughing, but this was fun!
"Oh! The groundwork's laid!
No, don't be afraid!
I'm sure that I can fix it,
When I figure out the physics!"
Behind that ominous curtain, the group of heroes watched their friend prance around, totally into his act. "Look at him!" Genis laughed. The others soon joined him and even Kratos chuckled lightly as lloyd slipped on the floor and landed on his bottom just as the song ended,
"My evil plan to save the world,
Just you wait 'til it's unfurled,
It'll go down in history!
It's prophetic,
No! It's not pathetic!
I can't believe I made it up myself
Yeaaahhhh"
Lloyd waved cheerfully and bounced back stage where the group was waiting to cheer for him with the audience.
"That was awesome!" Zelos shouted happily, clapping his buddy on the back with the others while Kratos listened to the announcer. "Next, we have a performance by someone who we hope will please you, the one, the only, Zelos Wilder!" Said red-head grinned like a maniac and ran out to a roaring audience. "Thank you, thank you!" He called as the crowd settled down eagerly. Being the Chosen, they were obviously expecting a marvelous singer.
Weren't they disappointed…
The first note out of Zelos' mouth was so shrill it had people cowering under their chairs. He sounded like a cat getting eaten by a pig while getting water poured over it. By the sounds of it, the pig was making a racket as well. At least he looked nice, wearing what appeared to be a bright red T-shirt, dark blue jeans, and a backward black baseball cap.
"Do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do"
People yelped at the distressing sound and hid their heads while Zelos took to skipping around the stage.
"Do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do do do!
I'm takin' time out for reflecting,
I'm goin' one on one with who I'd like to be,
I'm leaning towards the sun,
Watching flowers blossom all around me."
Behind the curtain, the heroes were all writhing as Zelos continued his song happily. "Lloyd…" Kratos said gravely as Zelos hit another humanly impossible note. "If I ever… ever mock your singing again—" He paused and winced at another squeal from the stage, "Please remind me of this… performance." Lloyd nodded and covered his ears as the song ended on a high-pitched wail.
Zelos walked backstage amid the screams of the audience. "I guess they loved me!" He declared cockily, unaware that they were screaming in pure pain of having their eardrums busted. The Chosen looked at his friends, all who were groaning over their poor hearing capabilities.
"My ears…" Genis moaned melodramatically, collapsing onto Lloyd, who stumbled into Kratos, who caught them both until Zelos decided to let out another 'wonderful' note. "Gah!" Kratos collapsed into a pile with Lloyd and Genis on top of him. "Get off." He grumbled bitterly, shoving the two boys away and sitting up just in time to hear the most dreaded words of his long life…
"Next, hopefully a better voice than our dear Chosen, Kratos Aurion!" Kratos looked around desperately and was shoved onto the stage wearing a completely black suit with a dark red tie. He gulped quietly and looked at the crowd who were looking very hesitant. He took the odd magitechnology device in his hand and began to sing,
"I am so high, I can hear heaven,
I am so high, I can hear heaven…
Oh but heaven, no, heaven don't hear me."
Well, he was definitely a good singer, that was for sure. Better than Lloyd and Zelos at least. Then again, after four thousand years, that singing in the shower really paid off!
"And they say that a hero will save us,
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Grab hold of the wings of the eagles,
Watch as we all fly away"
Back stage, the group was gaping shamelessly. "Kratos… can sing!" Lloyd choked, "Why can't I find anything to laugh at him about?" He hung his head and watched the others nod. "I wonder what he can't do?" Raine demanded, "He's an angel, he can sing, he can fight, he's quiet, you can't deny he's handsome!" Her eyebrow twitched irritably.
"Shouldn't we be glad that our friend has such a talent?" Regal asked quietly, and yet he couldn't hide the smallest hint of jealousy in his eyes.
"No!" The rest shouted at him before watching Kratos end his song, prepared to give him a piece of their minds.
"And they're watching us
(Watching Us)
and they're watching us
(Watching Us)
as we all fly away."
As Kratos finished, he wondered blankly where the hell that other voice had come from. He glanced around the stage fleetingly before walking backstage with a very small smile towards the happy crowd. He looked at the group and blinked at the murderous glares, "What's wrong?" He began uneasily, "Did I do something wrong?"
"Oh no," Lloyd said sweetly, "You were perfect…"
"Oh… That's good then."
"That's the problem!" Kratos stumbled backwards at the force of their yelling. "What? What do you mean by that?" he snapped in confusion.
"You are so perfect it's frustrating!" Raine exclaimed, "You can sing, you are an angel, you're one of the few quiet men in the world, and you certainly don't look like someone who was alive when the worlds were still combined!" She stomped her foot and the others nodded hesitantly.
"Hah…" Kratos began to laugh bitterly and gestured to himself. "I'm the one who spent four thousand years following the most insane person on earth. I'm the one who made no effort to stop him." He paused and a touch of kittenness came out. "But, I am pretty awesome, aren't I?" He smirked and flexed one of his hands happily while the group groaned in unison and shook their heads.
"…--have the wondrous Raine Sage!" The announcer cried and the half-elf froze with her hand risen to threaten the cat-like angel. "Me?" She squeaked, wringing her hand nervously. "Oh no. I haven't studied enough!" She rubbed her temples fretfully. "Oh no, oh no!" She bit her lip and Lloyd, Zelos and Kratos tried to comfort her.
"It's easy!"
"And fun!"
"Once you get out there it's not as bad as you would expect." The three of them shared their own emotions before getting on stage; Lloyd had been nervous, Zelos hadn't really minded, and Kratos admitted to being rather scared (Or, as Lloyd put it "Ready to piss himself")
Raine smiled and walked onto the stage with new confidence, "Hello!" She called, grabbing the magitechnology-made microphone. She quickly shed her cloak for a black cocktail dress with silver trim and a chain of silver roses going across the waist.
"Heaven bent to take my hand,
Lead me through the fire,
Be the long awaited answer,
To a long and painful fight."
Well, she wasn't as scarring as Zelos, but she was still slightly worse than Lloyd, being that she made her voice too high for the chosen song. "She was right, that is a pretty sad song." Zelos admitted and the others nodded. Lloyd, however, was studying the professor's attire. "Wow," he gasped, "The professor actually looks nice!"
Sheena was on him in an instant, "You make it sound rare!" She exclaimed in defense of her friend.
"No, no!"
"You idiot!"
Kratos watched apathetically as his son was beaten by the female ninja and blinked when Zelos was somehow added to the brawl with cries of "Not the face!" He looked back out at the stage and noticed Yuan was trembling with his nerves. "It's not that hard, Yuan." He consoled boredly.
"Uh? Oh, yeah right. Look at Raine, her knees are shaking!" Yuan gestured at the half-elf and the two angels snickered at the sight of her trembling joints. The other joined, however, only when she stumbled off the stage altogether.
"Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I've messed up better,
I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I—AHH!" Raine squealed as she tripped off the platform and into the crowd, flattening an unlucky couple.
Lloyd looked up dumbly and noticed his teacher's absence. "Hey… Where's Raine?" He asked blankly as Yuan and Kratos began to laugh hysterically.
Yes, this was going to be a good show, a good show indeed.
Okay, here's the deal: If you guys liked this chapter, I'll post the second half of it on my next update! If you didn't like it, I'll make a really quick summary sometime next chapter while carrying on with a new idea. Now, I am putting this fic on hold until after Christmas because I'm making a Christmas One Shot! Yay, so, until then, Merry Christmas everyone! May you all be blessed with gingerbread cookies, presents, a great family and good spirits!
P.S I apologize for any typos. I wanted to get this up fast and didn't have time to edit it thoroughly. Sorry! Also, adding several teaspoons of honey to a strong cup of tea DOES in fact help a hang-over! Fancy that, eh?