A/N: I'm back! I've had a small vacation where too many things happened to deter me from writing, by far, my favorite chapter yet. I've got part two written, but not typed up on the computer so it will probably be a few days until the next one is up...Monday, maybe. I hope you enjoy this. This story will be done and wonderful, hopefully, by the time Pirates 2 is out (squee!). Is anyone else as excited as I am?

I may comment throughout the story. They will be in (these things), but anything that I may have replaced, such as words that are not suitable for younger audiences I put ((double these)) around. Savvy?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but my humor and erm...I guess I only own my humor in this one. Oh, well.

Chapter 12-Part 1:

Two Upstanding Gentlemen Are Off Limits to Civilians

Not a lot's known about Jack Sparrow before he showed up in Tortuga with a mind to go after the treasure of the Isla de Muerta. That was before the story of Pirates of the Caribbean, back when he was Captain of The Black Pearl.

"What?" you say. Well, he plays things close to the vest now, that is why he did not give you a five hour long description of why he was sailing into the harbor of Port Royal, on a sinking little fishing boat that used to belong to Anamaria, a very spirited woman, before Jack borrowed the boat without permission.

So that's the reason for the…many slaps that he gets from her. Oh, but we're not quite talking about that yet. Captain Jack Sparrow's luck was with him when he sailed into the dock, it just didn't last long enough for the rest of the day. The sinking boat lowered in time to a beautiful orchestral score. Jack noticed.

"Oh, great," Jack thought. He jumped down from the top of the mast to the water filled boat, grabbed a bucket and attempted fruitlessly to bail the water out. A moment later, Jack dropped the bucket, saluted three skeletons, barely noticing the 'pirates ye be warned' sign and looked down at the ankle-deep water slowly rising. At that moment, he gave up and climbed the mast again, resuming his place on the sinking boat where he was moments before.

The seconds ticked by as the dock became steadily closer. There was a small jerk as the sunk vessel found its final resting place. Jack stepped off the mast onto the dock and walked past a very upset looking man.

"What? Hold up there you," The deranged man called after Jack, who almost had gotten out of earshot. He turned to look at the untidy harbormaster and his small black slave boy. "It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the docks."

The harbormaster and Jack both turned to glance at the sunken boat simultaneously. The former seemed to think that maybe it just wasn't worth it to tie up the boat, "and I shall need to know your name."

Jack didn't want anyone of military rank, or eve anyone at all, to know that there was a pirate visiting the town of Port Royal. Jack pulled coins out of his money pouch and slapped them down on the harbormaster's book of dock records, "What d'ye say to three shillings and we forget the name?"

"Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith," the Harbormaster said and turned away, heading toward Jack's sunken boat with his slave boy. Little did he know, however, that Jack saw his money pouch on the pedestal, and pocketed it.

And so Jack went on, mulling through crowds, mumbling a thousand pardons, until he filtered into a clear space. There he saw it and it was beautiful. Then he went, as unconcernedly as he could, acting as natural as possible, trying so hard for his sea legs to not get in his way, and strode up to the dock in which the Dauntless was floating without a care in the world.

"This dock is off limits to civilians," said a voice. It appeared almost immediately in the form of a navy soldier with his companion, both in red coats- navy attire (waddya know!)

Jack stopped. "I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately." That wasn't enough to distract them as he tried to get to the ship again, but blocked from his jaunt.

Oh, look! A distraction! "Apparently there's some sort of high toned and fancy to do up at the fort, eh?" Jack used his hands, pointing in every direction, to attempt even more to bring their attention away from him and to something else. "How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves did not merit an invitation?"

The two navy guards glanced at each other once, slightly confused, then one spoke, "Someone has to make sure this dock stays off limits to civilians." He said it with a voice full of high regard, that such a job demanded praise and honor.

The pirate captain was less impressed, "It's a fine goal to be sure, but it seems to me that a…" he shifted to get a better look at the Dauntless. "Ship like that, makes this one here a bit superfluous, really."

The honorable navy soldier took pride in standing in the way of the mere civilian.

"Ah, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough, but there's no ship that can match the Interceptor for speed."

'Proud of his Navy's baby, is he?' Jack thought. 'So am I.' He smiled to himself.

"I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh un-catchable," Jack said, pausing for a moment to get the full effect, "The Black Pearl."

The over-weight sailor gave a huff and rolled his eyes, "There's no real ship that can match the Interceptor."

His buddy paused, wondering whether he was correct in saying so, decided yes, and turned toward Mullroy, "The Black Pearl is a real ship."

Mullroy obviously didn't get the memo, "No, no it's not."

"Yes it is; I've seen it," He began to get defensive.

"You've seen it?"

"Yes."

"You haven't seen it."

"Yes, I have."

Jack was beginning to get bored at this point.

"You've seen a ship with black sails, that's crewed by the ((people who really need to do something with their lives)), and captained by a man so evil that even Hades was sick to death (no pun intended) of him and spat him back out ((of Davey Jones' locker))?"

"No," Murtogg seemed slightly confused, but ended up sorting out the part with Davey Jones' locker and assuming this 'Hades' had something to do with it.

Mullroy gave an 'I-told-you-so' kind of face. Ha, "No."

But fortunately for Murtogg, he had a strong soul and knew he had to explain what he really saw that one dark night on that one ship, to not leave the other navy sailor in doubt. Some a true upstanding gentleman would do, "But I have seen a ship with black sails."

At this moment, Jack found that no moment was more opportune than at this time to slip away from the two navy sailors, bantering. Even though he was already across the dock and at the helm before the particularly fat (hobbit…erm, I mean) sailor had a proper comeback prepared for Murtogg, he could still hear them as if they were standing next to him.

"Oh, and no ship that's crewed by the ((people who really need to do something right with their lives)) and captained by a man so evil that even ((Hades was sick to death (no pun intended) of him and))spat him back out (of Davey Jones' Locker) could possibly have black sails therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship (not boat) than The Black Pearl. Is that what you're saying?"

Jack felt the breeze gently blowing his dred-locks around his face for roughly five minutes before Murtogg finally figured out what Mullroy said, nodded and replied, "No."

"Like I said," he looked smug again, "there's no real ship that can match the Interceptor."

Murtogg, a little downhearted from the stubborn attitude of Mullroy, attempted to change the conversation and looked around for an idea.

Jack was on the Interceptor! "Hey! You!" he yelled, calling the attention of Mullroy. "Get away from there!"

Preparing his gun, in case he needed to use it, and situating himself in a steady position on a deck of the ship, he was followed by Murtogg, "You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate."

They had cornered Jack, unless he truly felt that jumping off deck was wise. Jack stared innocently back at them, but still did not re-move his hands from the helm.

"I'm sorry, it's just it's such a pretty boat—ship." Jack put a hand out to calm them if they were offended by his accidental slip of the tongue. Even though they were the ones with the pointy things on the tips of their guns, Jack would not deny that the Interceptor was a boat if compared to the magnificence of The Black Pearl.

"What's your name?" Murtogg said.

Finally! A challenge of wits! If these soldiers mingled with the general populace, the government would get foul very quickly. These two upstanding gentlemen definitely were off-limits to civilians.

Jack answered, non-chalantly, "Smith…or Smithy, if you like."

"What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?" Mullroy said, attempting to sound polite even through sarcasm dripped from the name.

Murtogg piped up, "Yeah, and no lies."

Jack stepped forward. He felt like this was an interrogation. "Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my (Ron) weasely black guts out."

"I said no lies!"

Mullroy answered slowly, "…I think he's telling the truth."

"If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us!"

"Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you."

JACK: 1 TUG: 0

Well, what did you think? Did you like it?

Please inform me if I made any mistakes at all...or if you liked it, even. Thanks!