Update time! And a little thing, if you wish to view these updates in advance, and any other fics I have, I have a new fanfiction journal on LJ called stillneedname, it has underscores between each word, they just won't let me put them in.. Please look at it etc. Anyway, enough of the plug.

Hazeydream: Now, ifshe had said Rodney, this would be one interesting fic. And I think we need a lesson on what no-ship means.
Ashkash: It's great, I'm writing what good be considered every shippers dream...in a no-shippy story. You'll see where blood comes into it very soon, hehe.
johnliz4ever: Thanks again, I'm glad you like it! And it's believable, that's a first.
Drakcir: Yes you get a shiny badge, and a seemingly evil laugh. And I will of course beware of the ship.
puddles1311: Good beginnings always help, and I hope I can keep it funny.
Sarah: This seems to be a funnier story than I realised, and of course it's going to be interesting. Wouldn't be any good if it wasn't! And don't worry, the wedding's gonna be good.

Chapter 3:Atlantis: the soap opera?

Everyone at the table weren't sure how to react to the statement, Elizabeth's partial disappearance or John's seemingly comatose state. Rodney was fairly sure that the force with which he'd hit his head, he'd knocked himself out. Serai hadn't quite been expecting that kind of reaction. In a way, she'd hoped the pair would smile and look even the slightest bit happy. After all, a wedding was supposed to be a happy occasion.

At last, John lifted his head off the table and looked around the room.

"Where's Elizabeth?"

A hand appeared from below the table, accompanied by a quiet voice.

"Down here."

Raising his eyebrows, John pushed his chair back and looked under the table. Sitting on the floor, Elizabeth was sat with her head in one hand. With the other hand she waved back glumly. Sitting up, he shook his head. Then, with a shrug of his shoulders, he lowered himself down onto the floor too.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Comfortable?"

"I guess. You?"

"My head hurts a bit."

"That's what you get for hitting your head off the desk."

John glared at her.

"I never would have guessed that."

"You know, I think I remember that we once had a conversation about sarcasm, and who should use it."

He grinned.

"Yeah, but Rodney's still up there."

"Excuse me, but are you talking about me down there?"

Rodney's face appeared under the table to glare at the pair.

"Yes," they chorused.

Glaring at them, he too joined them on the floor.

"If you are going to talk about me, I want to be here so you can say it to my face."

"If you say so," responded John, leaning back against his chair.

However he'd forgotten that his chair has wheels, and he suddenly found himself lying flat on the floor staring at the ceiling. Both Elizabeth and Rodney began to laugh uncontrollably. John pulled himself up and dusted himself off.

"I meant to do that."

"Of course."

The three under the table turned to look at Ford, who was now sat on the floor with a very confused looking Teyla.

"Does sitting under the table have anything to do with what Serai just told us?"

Teyla's question suddenly brought all of them back to the present.

"Oh yeah," muttered John.

He glanced quickly across at Elizabeth, who was looking across at him. As their eyes met, they quickly turned away and a blush began to rise in her cheeks.

"You two have a very odd reaction to the idea of marriage."

The last member of the group had finally joined them all on the floor.

"Serai, it's just that…I don't think we really want to get married. Especially not each other."

John nodded in agreement to Elizabeth's words.

"She's right. I'd rather wear women's clothing for a week."

Elizabeth smirked across at him.

"That could be arranged you know?"

John shot her a look.

"Oh, and what would you rather do?"

"That is none of your business."

"Please, you two, this is serious. You have to get married, or the door can't opened."

Elizabeth sighed.

"Why do I feel like I'm living in some soap opera?"

"What is a soap opera?"

Teyla looked around in confusion, while the others tried hard to suppress any sort of laughter.

"Look, I'm sorry you feel that way, but…you don't really have much of a choice."

"We do. We could just not open the door."

"Sheppard, did you not hear her. Weapons, which may I point out we do need. If you'd forgotten, the Wraith are after us."

"Hate to say it, but Rodney's right. I think we just a have to swallow our pride, and accept it. We have to get married John."

John looked around the group, but all were nodding in agreement with Elizabeth.

"Fine," he sighed at last. "But, this is not a 'proper' marriage. No big thing with loads of people. Not some big fancy white wedding. Just the basic ceremony that's needed."

"That's okay John. I understand."

Serai smiled at them.

"Well, I offer my heartiest congratulations to the pair of you. Now, I'm going to go set up."

With that, Serai disappeared from sight.

Ford smiled, and tapped Teyla's arm. Leaning over, he whispered something in her ear. For a moment she looked at him, then smiled.

"Sir, ma'am, doc, Teyla and me are gonna head off. We'll…see you later."

Quickly, they pulled themselves up and left.

"I don't trust them. McKay, go see what they're up to."

"We're not in the field now, you can't order me around Sheppard."

"Rodney, would you please go and find out what they're doing?"

"Sure Elizabeth. See, all you had to do was ask nicely."

John sighed and watched as Rodney left the briefing room.

"Elizabeth, are you sure you want to go through with it?"

"You know we don't have much of a choice."

"That's the problem. Definitely a soap opera."

"Oh yeah. Well, at least the briefing got cancelled. So some good did come of this."

"How do you work that out?"

Elizabeth grinned at him.

"I never read the report for the briefing."