Why Bother ?

Sands mind was a swimming sea, what was fact and what was fiction? Why was he losing all reference points of where he was, and how close he was to reaching divine balance?

Oceane's remorse had brought her back. The fear. The fear that she may have just set him back, and this time beyond repair and the miracles of modern medicine.

"Wake up you sex thirsty cad," she said. Harsh words, but laced with some level of true caring. "Play the possum but don't think I don't know you're right beneath the surface! I'm not falling for this Sheldon…" Oceane said firmly, but her intentions were barely convincing herself.

"My letters," Sands mumbled reaching for his heart… they had been in the pocket against his chest- that's what started all of this, he'd never have been on the road had he not gone into the Agency those weeks ago… and panic grabbed him like a white smoke as he was in a hospital gown, this was sinking in for the first time. "My letters! My guns! My …trousers!"

"Trousers never were a priority of yours… were they?" Oceane said slowly.

"Give me what I want… what's going on. Get me out of here!" He forcefully snapped each word, more urgently than a caged tiger's growl.

Oceane sighed and rolled her eyes, then slammed both of her hands against his chest so he stayed planted against the bed. "Shut up- someone will hear that, how do you very well plan to escape from that point, cowboy?" she pointed out in terms of black and white. "Now, I've only been here every goddamned day since you ran yourself into that goddamned tree…"

He smiled slightly… "Why's that sugar-butt… are all of the drug induced wild fantasies true then?" Sands said meeting her eyes.

"Don't push it!" Oceane said. "Look, can you tell me where you were headed when you crashed?"

"Oceane, I didn't crash…" he spat.

"Right, so the car wrapped around the tree… just a new decorative look?"

"The tire caught my fork… I don't know what happened after that…. Now if I have to stay in this fucking place two seconds longer, can we at least talk about something interesting? Guevera? Barillo?" he said.

"Your letters… the security here is too strong for anything else."

"Yes I asked for those 10 minutes ago," he hissed impatiently.

Oceane undid the buckle of her purse and pulled out the envelopes, still sealed, and slapped them onto his chest. "Your letters, your high-n-ass"

"Read them…" he said shutting his eyes as the blurring took hold and became everything.

"Can I hold your hand and wipe your ass too? Get you a cup of coffee with cream and sugar?"

"Coffee, no cream… and you, sugar." He smiled mischievously.

She shook her head in disgust and opened up the letter and read it through.

"To me, sweet Oceane, read it to me." Sands reached out and took her hand. "With the emotions in your voice… convince me you're the one who wrote it."

Oceane laughed. "I'm no man!"

Sands eyes peered open…. "Did you think I had doubts?" He twisted his head subtly to the side.

"No, last conversation we had you were talking of my breasts… unless man boobs are your thing?"

Sands chuckled. "You're onto me sugar… let me onto you."

"Can you turn every phrase into some sick sexual connotation?" Oceane said, this was hopeless.

"Perhaps…" he said thoughtfully. "Now read me my letters!"

"You sound like a four year old."

"I thought I was three last time I checked… did I miss a birthday… what were my presents?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Read to me!" He snapped back the battle of wits.

"Dear Sheldon… it has been far too long since our last trip together…"

"Sound the gong, someone in the world cares about me.." he said sarcastically.

"Why do I even bother with you?" Oceane said.