"We will be departing for Gondor in the morn. Sauron will be deeply angered by his defeat at Helm's Deep and will hit back fast and hard at the other kingdom of Men." Theoden called out to his exhausted warriors two days after the battle for Rohan.
Naltariel, who sat quietly with Legolas on the steps to the Deep, squeezed her eyes shut. She had helped in the infirmary, healing as many of the men and boys as she could, but now her powers were spent and she barely had the strength to stand.
Her fingers twined unconsciously through the chain of the Estelara as she watched the Men assembled in the courtyard stand in order before their king. The boys that had survived had gone back to their mothers; they would be spared from traveling to Gondor to face the horrors of battle again. Such horrors, so much death and grief.
"Do you think . . . that. . . he is happy where he is now?" She asked, knowing she didn't need to state who she was talking about.
Legolas turned his head to watch her. "I think Haldir could quite possibly be the happiest Elf in history. He has your love, Naltariel, and one day once many ages have past, you will both be together again. Is not the pursuit of life to find the one you were meant to love? He completed his life's quest and so his passing is not with too much grief. He was ready to go."
Tears brimmed in her eyes again and she looked back to her friend. "Then why did I not pass too? I found my love and yet I am left here to feel grief at his passing. It is a cruel fate." She said bitterly.
"I cannot answer that question Naltariel, I do not think that even the wisest could understand Iluvatar's choices." Legolas said softly, pulling her into a sympathetic embrace.
"Oh, Legolas, I miss him so terribly that I'm not quite sure what to do with myself!" She cried.
"Naltari, just remember that everything happens for a reason. Perhaps the reason why you also did not pass was that you are still needed for something important in Iluvatar's plan." He whispered.
She looked up into his face. "Legolas, promise me you won't die. I want you to promise! I could not stand to lose such a good friend as you as well as Haldir." She said vehemently.
A sad smile crept across his lips. "I promise, Naltariel. I wont die." He vowed, his eyes full of compassion for her.
"Good, now, I should get back to the infirmary to see if I can help any." She said and attempted to get to her feet. Legolas pulled her back down so that she fell on her rump on the steps again.
"You need to rest. You've hardly slept in two days." Legolas said in concern. "And when was your last meal?"
"I don't feel like eating, Legolas. You know what it feels like to lose a lover. Malina . . . how long did it take you to recover from her passing?" She asked quietly.
She saw her friend wince and immediately wished she could have taken her words back. Malina had been his fiancé, they were to be married but she had not showed up at the altar. They had found her body a week after her disappearance on the bank of a river, her throat slit. They still did not know who had done it, but the blame was placed on the Orcs that wandered Mirkwood.
"I . . . it. . . I haven't recovered yet. I carry much anger towards the Orcs, but I have confidence that when we meet again we will still be very much in love." He said slowly.
Naltariel nodded and looked back across the courtyard. She saw Aragorn and Eomer talking together on the other side of the square and every so often they would raise their heads to look across the enclosure and watch her. She was obviously the center of their discussion. She continued her sweep across the courtyard and found Gimli and Eowyn talking animatedly closer by.
"I am traveling with you tomorrow to Gondor." She said suddenly, but firmly.
Legolas stared at her in shock for a moment. "No!" He exclaimed. "It is too dangerous for you!"
"I am a powerful healer; I would be a valuable attribute for a company leading to war." Naltariel said stubbornly.
"I will not allow it." Legolas said immovably. "You will stay in Edoras with the rest of the women and children."
Her cheeks flushed with anger. "You cannot tell me what to do, Legolas. I am a woman now, and have say over my own affairs." She snapped and got to her feet.
"You are still a child, Naltariel. Sharing your bed with Haldir did not give you wisdom." Legolas replied hotly, standing so he towered over her.
Her eyes flashed with rage at the insult, she lifted her hand and brought it swiftly across her friend's cheek. He didn't try to avoid it or stop her; he knew he deserved it for what he had just said. The sound of her striking him echoed in the courtyard, but she didn't care. She turned on her heel to flee from him but ran straight into Eomer's chest.
Eomer put his arms out to steady her but she stubbornly pushed them away. "Is everything alright?" He asked, eyeing the other Elf, with a red handprint across his cheek, suspiciously.
"Everything is fine." Naltariel snapped. She could feel both Eomer and Legolas' eyes on her.
"Very well then. Lady Naltariel, may I escort you to where you were heading?" Eomer asked politely. Naltariel smiled and nodded her head, wrapping her arm in his. She sent a last withering look to Legolas before turning away and heading back to the infirmary with Eomer.
"Are you sure you are all right, My Lady?" Eomer asked again, worry etched upon his face. "You looked rather angry with Legolas."
"I am fine, My Lord." She said quietly, her anger had faded almost completely now that she was away from the presence of Legolas. The nerve of him to say such a thing. Lawfully, she was a woman now though she knew that the event had not given her wisdom. It wasn't something to be discussed openly in a courtyard either, especially not after her lover's death.
"Very well." Eomer said quietly and a tension thick silence sat between them for some moments there afterwards. Suddenly Naltariel could not stand the silence anymore.
"Allow me to go to Gondor with you and your men." She blurted suddenly. If she had Eomer's permission there would be nothing Legolas could say or do to stop her.
Eomer paused in mid-step and turned to look at her. "Absolutely not!" He cried, shock written upon his face. "I have barely begun to train you in weaponry and you think you are ready to face war?"
"I do not wish to go as a warrior, My Lord. I have seen too much blood and death already for want to cause more of it. I wish to travel with you as a healer. I -" Eomer cut off her appeal.
"No. No. No. No. And No!" He said firmly. "I will not risk having you out there with those gruesome creatures. In their hands, your fate would be worse than death." He said and gently brushed his strong callused hand across her cheek.
She looked up at him in wonder at his gentle caress and saw the emotions swirling clearly in his eyes. He was scared, scared to lose her, scared to lose his kingdom, scared to lose his men. He was nervous of the upcoming battle, knowing there would be little hope left in the people of Gondor.
She noticed that his hand was still resting gently on her cheek and that his eyes were focused on her slightly parted lips. In a moment of clarity she realized that this Man cared for her, perhaps not love, but he definitely carried affection for her and she knew he would do anything to keep her safe.
She unconsciously licked her lips, a habit of nervousness she'd had since she was a child. She saw his eyes close partway as he began to move his head closer to hers. Her heart started racing and her mind started screaming at her to move, that if she let him kiss her she was being disloyal to Haldir but her body wouldn't listen and she stayed where she was, her head tilting upward slightly to meet him. Then . . .
"Eomer! I need your help in the drawing room, we must plan our tactics." Theoden called. Eomer's head jerked back in surprise and Naltariel's cheeks flushed bright red, she bowed her head to hide her embarrassment but he had already seen.
"Um..." Eomer started nervously. "Can we. . . talk later?"
"I . . . can't. I'll be busy in the infirmary." She said shakily and took a step away from him.
"Naltariel. I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. It was very wrong of me." Eomer said quickly.
She nodded her head slightly, keeping her head down so he wouldn't see the mortification on her face. "Go to your Uncle, Eomer. He needs you." Then she turned and fled down the corridor to her chambers. She closed the door behind her and sank to the floor. Her heart was still pounding like war drums and her face still felt warm. What had just happened?
What had he been thinking? He stood still in the corridor they had been in and he could still smell the scent of her perfume. It was driving him crazy, his heart was pounding in his chest and his mind was racing. He replayed the event over and over in his mind and each time he felt like driving his own sword through his heart.
She had been ashamed. She probably hadn't moved away because she was scared of him. She had obviously been told that all Men were lecherous by her father and he was doing nothing to improve that prejudiced statement.
He sighed and shook his head; he would have to sort this out later. He turned and headed to the drawing room to help the King with his battle plans. When he arrived he saw that Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli were included with Rohan's various war captains. He silently sat in one of the many chairs and the discussion began.
Several hours passed and they still had not come up with suitable war plan when another problem arose, what to do with Isengard now that it was defenseless. Gandalf suggested that he and the King go to Orthanc alone, but the rest of the council would not have it, so it was finally agreed that Theoden, Gandalf, Legolas, Aragorn, Gimli, and Eomer as well as the Riders of Rohan were to go to Orthanc to assess the damage done to the White Wizard.
Eomer felt like breaking into applause. The first decision of the day had been made and the joy that was overwhelming him was nearly more than he could handle, he thought sarcastically. He sighed; he'd had quite enough of listening to war tactics and battle strategies.
His thoughts drifted back to his incident with Naltariel and he mentally rebuked himself. Why could he not keep his thoughts off her? Especially after humiliating himself during their incident in the hall. He rebuked himself again for being so heartless; she had just lost her lover.
He was able to withstand three more hours of mindless war debate before he excused himself, pleading exhaustion and grief. The others nodded in understanding and gave him their leave. He quietly closed the door behind him and hurried towards the infirmary, he had best sort out the attempted kiss conversation before he left and perhaps did not return.
As he entered the large room set away for the sick and wounded, he was surprised by how few were actually still in the healers care. He saw a healer sitting quietly behind a table studying some medical volumes; she didn't even look up when he stepped near her.
Eomer looked around. "Why are there so few left in the infirmary? Have we lost that many?" He asked sadly.
"Oh, no, My Lord! The Lady Elf has healed most of the patients. These that are left in here have less serious wounds that will be healed when she returns. We have only lost two and that was before she could get to them." She said animatedly.
He nodded in approval. "Have you seen Lady Naltariel?" He asked.
"No, My Lord, not since early this morning when Master Legolas ordered her to rest some or else she would tire herself out." The healer said politely.
Eomer nodded his thanks at her assistance and turned down the corridor with his heart pounding in his chest. She had said she was going to the infirmary and she hadn't. Could she have possibly have been so scared of him that she'd fled back to Lorien? He hoped not, especially unescorted. He pounded on her door as soon as he got to it and waited, holding his breath, for a reply.
"Who is it?" Her musical voice called from inside and his entire body sagged with relief.
"It's Eomer. Can we talk?" He asked.
"Um . . . you'll have to hold on a moment, I'm in the bath." She called and he could hear the swish of water through the door as she moved. His head fell against the door as he tried to banish the thought of exactly what she looked like at that moment.
A few minutes later the door swung partly open and he could barely see the image of her wrapped in a robe. All thoughts left his mind. He swallowed convulsively and took a deep breath, wondering exactly what he had come to talk to her about when she arched a puzzled eyebrow at him.
"Lady Naltariel. . ." He said huskily.
"Have you changed your mind, My Lord? Can I accompany you to Gondor?" She asked hopefully, opening the door a bit further.
He squeezed his eyes shut as he came tumbling back to reality. "No." He said with a sigh. "The road is too dangerous and I will not have your death on my conscience."
She glared at him and shut the door in his face, not caring that he was royalty and she was in his kingdom. "Then leave me be. But I warn you now, I will not sit by in Edoras when I could be helping people elsewhere."
"Naltariel, we need to talk." Eomer said firmly.
"Then talk, I'm listening." She snapped angrily and he heard the bolt slid over the door, locking him out.
"This isn't. . ." He sighed. "It's about what happened earlier."
He heard something hit the other side of the door and winced. "What about it?" She sighed resignedly.
Eomer paused for a moment as he thought of something to say. "I'm sorry." He said lamely.
"Apology accepted, now please leave me be." She said quietly. Eomer squeezed his eyes shut, well, what had he expected? He had blatantly disrespected her time to mourn her lover. He had advanced on her against her will and now he was disappointed that she wasn't casting it aside as a bit of harmless flirting.
"As you wish, My Lady." He managed to strangle out. He turned from the door to find Aragorn's piercing gray eyes studying him. "Lord Aragorn, can I help you?" He asked tightly.
Aragorn said nothing and neither did his expression, "Mere concern?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"This does not concern you." He snapped harshly.
"Oh, but it does. She is to be my future kin, I do not like to see her distressed." Aragorn said dangerously.
Eomer glared at Isildur's heir. "The reason she is distressed, My Lord, is because she wishes to ride to Gondor with us tomorrow." He bit out.
Aragorn sighed and shook his head. "There is more grief and hardship to getting involved with an Elf than there is happiness. The happiness is well worth the struggle, as is all love, but the battle is twice as hard, my friend."
"I told you -" Eomer began, angered that this ranger could still see through him.
"I know what you told me." The future king interrupted. "It is just a word of advice should you change your mind. She is like a little sister to me, I would hate . . ." He stopped when the door swung open and Naltariel glared at them both. She was clothed now, in a riding dress, but her hair was still a wet tangle hanging down her back.
"That is quite enough! From the both of you!" She snapped, her cheeks flushed with anger.
"Naltariel, I was just coming to see you." Aragorn said patiently, ignoring her anger.
"And dropping off a bit of courting advice along the way, Estel?" She demanded. Both Men looked away from her ashamed. "Nothing to say?"
"Telwa, Naltariel." (Later) Aragorn pleaded.
"Si, Estel." (Now) She demanded.
"Inye maquet hynlya." (I ask your forgiveness) Aragorn pleaded. She glared.
"You look like a winter's dawn, Naltariel." Eomer said quietly. "Cold and bitter."
"As I should, I have resigned myself to my fate. Unless you allow me to ride with you into Gondor, I will return to my home." She snapped bitterly.
Eomer's heart sank, he could not risk her riding into Gondor with them, but he didn't want to lose her either. Somehow he wanted her to stay where she was, patiently waiting his return. He let out a long sigh.
"There aren't enough men to escort you back home." He said, hoping that she would believe him.
"Nonsense, word has reached my ears that the Elvish contingent that joined you in battle here is not following you into Gondor. I will ride with them." She replied hotly.
"If you wait for my return, I will escort you back to Lorien myself." Eomer tried to plead, he couldn't lose her. Not now.
"And do what until then? Sit alone in a city full of people I don't know to wallow in my grief?" She asked.
"Eowyn will be here." He said, convincingly.
She went silent for a moment, eyeing him suspiciously. "Why can't I go with my people?"
Eomer took a deep breath, remembering now that Aragorn was standing only a few feet away. "Because I would miss you." He said bravely, looking up into her eyes. The door was slammed in his face before he could blink.
His forehead dropped against the cool stone wall of the corridor and he could hear Aragorn's low chuckle. "You find this funny, Lord Aragorn?" Eomer asked in defeat.
"In a way, my friend. Naltariel is a fickle thing. Come, let us discuss this." Aragorn suggested, draping an arm over Eomer's shoulder and pulling him away from the wall. He had Eomer laughing by the time they reached the end of the corridor by the telling of the crazy things she had done.
Naltariel seethed. How dare they speak of such things? And especially right outside her door! She tossed the things she had brought with her into her riding pack and headed down to the stables, her hair still wet from her bath.
She found Laurea easily, but standing next to her stall were Legolas and Gimli. "My Lords." She said stiffly, tossing the pack over the side of the stables gate.
"Where are you going, Naltari?" Legolas asked warily.
"Nowhere at the moment. Just preparing for tomorrow." She answered.
"You're not coming to Gondor." Legolas said firmly.
She turned to Vaiwa and stroked her silvery neck then turned to the Dwarve. "I give Vaiwa to you as a gift, Gimli son of Gloin. I hope that we will meet again some time in the future. Take care of her." She said gently then bent to kiss his forehead in blessing. "Be careful in Gondor."
She turned hesitantly back to Legolas and kissed his cheek. "May the Vala be with you." She whispered.
"Where are you going to go?" He asked as he drew her into an embrace.
"Back home, or to Imladris. Whichever my father decides." She said emotionlessly. "Or perhaps I will sail west."
"Naltari, you cannot wed Lathun, you are not innocent anymore. He will be furious!" Legolas cried out.
Naltariel's eyes went wide at his sudden outburst, her cheeks flaming. "Well, thank you for pronouncing that to all of Rohan." She hissed.
He lowered his voice. "And your father will be mortified when Lathun tells him. Your father has a mean temper when provoked." He said.
"Do you think you need to remind me of that?" She asked. "But where else am I to go? I cannot stay here."
"Who is escorting you?" Legolas asked.
"Orophin and Rumil. I will be returning with the Lorien Elves." She answered, turning back to Vaiwa to say her goodbyes. "If ever you are lost, dear friend, return to me." She whispered, stroking her fingers through the horse's mane.
"Ask them to take you to Mirkwood. My father would welcome you warmly; he has not seen you in quite some time." Legolas suggested.
"My father will have already have told your father that I'd ran away. He would send me back to Lothlorien in a heartbeat." She argued.
"Your father is ashamed of this incident; he will try to keep it within Lorien's borders as much as possible." Legolas reasoned. "Please, Naltari, I would not have you go into an unhappy marriage."
She sighed and buried her face in Vaiwa's neck. "I will try to arrange it." She muttered.
"Good." Legolas said.
She turned to him then. "Thank you, Legolas. For everything you've ever done for me, and for everything you're doing now. I am glad to have you as my friend."
He pulled her into a hug. "Don't make this sound like a final goodbye. I made a promise, remember?"
She sighed, resting her head against his shoulder. "And you'd better keep your word."
She heard him chuckle as he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. "I will. I have no intention of dying quite yet." He said.
She stepped back and stared at him for a moment then they both extended their right hands to the others cheek then brought them over their hearts in an old Elvish gesture.
"I must go now; I have things yet to attend to and must rise early in the morning." She said quietly. She smiled at the Dwarve again. "It was a pleasure to meet my first Dwarve, Master Gimli. And with how well we've gotten along, and how well you've gotten along with Legolas, it's a wonder that our races are not in tight friendship. Take care of Vaiwa." She said with a laughing smile.
They both bowed to her and she turned and left the stables, heading back for the keep. The villagers would go back to Edoras, the soldiers to Gondor, the Elves to Lothlorien, and she . . . she would take her own path.
She walked silently through the keeps corridors, searching for the room that belonged to Eomer. She found it rather quickly, it being at the end of the corridor her own chambers were on.
She knocked on the door but there was only silence inside, so she hesitantly opened the wooden door. The fire was burning in the hearth, but no one occupied the room. She was thankful for that, it would be easier this way. She wouldn't have to watch his dark, brown eyes swirl with confusion and anger.
She grabbed a piece of parchment and unstopped an ink bottle. She took a deep breath to collect her thoughts as she sat down at the desk and picked up the quill. She closed her eyes briefly and began to write.
To my Vala,
Your plea for me to stay, however heartfelt, is not a strong enough purpose for me to remain. I don't think I ever did thank you for saving me so many times, or at least none I can recall, and so now is my thank you. I have taken from you and given nothing in return and so I leave you the Estelara. Be a light to your people, guide them through darkness and never despair. I will be with you.
If ever we meet again, and under better circumstances, I should hope, I will still be indebted to you. But be wary, though your price may be high, I will set my limit. Everything has a boundary.
Stay safe in Gondor, you will be in my prayers.
Your Naltariel.
She stopped the ink bottle again and put the letter into an envelope with the address of my "My Vala" written in script on the front. She pulled the Estelara from around her throat and dropped it into the envelope. She had memories of Haldir, she did not need the Estelara to remind her of his death.
She sealed the envelope with wax and tossed it onto the pillow on his bed; he would find it when he came in for the night. Now she only had two more stops before she would be ready.
She hurried down the corridor to Eowyn's room and knocked on the door. She answered it, but not in a nightgown with sleep mussed hair, as Naltariel had expected. She had a riding cloak wrapped tightly around her, hiding her garb from sight.
Naltariel smiled. "What do you have planned, my friend?" She asked, letting herself into the room.
Eowyn laughed. "I'll tell you my plan, if you tell me yours." She said, leading her guest to the small table in her chambers.
"I leave tonight. This is my farewell." Naltariel said quietly as Eowyn grabbed two glasses and a decanter of wine, pouring them each half full. They tapped their glasses together, the light clink sounding ominously loud in the quiet room.
"Where will you go?" Eowyn asked as she took a sip of her wine.
"To Gondor, but by a different route. The men will travel on the Great West Road, heading for the city of Minas Tirith, or so I heard them plan this morning. I will follow the Entwash to where it meets with the Anduin and travel south from there to Osgiliath.
"I will help as much as I can in the infirmary there, to heal the wounded for that seems to be all I am capable of doing well and that city seems to be in much need." She explained. Eowyn had quickly become Naltariel's dearest friend; they shared a relationship few people had, where there were no secrets. "And you?"
Eowyn smiled and opened her cloak, revealing chain mail armor and a short sword. Naltariel gasped, "You don't mean to go with them, do you?"
"Of course I do! I will not be locked away when I can help." She cried in surprise.
"Tell me you're not doing this for Aragorn." She demanded. Eowyn's grin faltered. "Oh, Eowyn, I'm so sorry. His heart belongs to Arwen, my sister's daughter. That is where he got the jewel he wears around his neck."
She rose her chin proudly, but Naltariel could see the unshed tears in her eyes. "He told me of his Elf lover, I go not for Aragorn. I will not be caged." She said defiantly.
Naltariel finished her wine and pulled her friend into an embrace. "We will see each other again when this is all done with. Come to Osgiliath when the battle is over and there we will rejoice. Be careful out there, my prayers will go with you, my friend."
"You be careful, Elf. You'll be traveling alone." Eowyn said indignantly. "I'll have a whole army to protect me."
Naltariel frowned. "You mustn't tell a single soul about this, where I've truly gone, especially not to your brother." She said.
"I'll keep your secret if you keep mine." Eowyn said.
Naltariel nodded and walked back towards the door. "Stay safe." She whispered before slipping out of the room and down the hall. She found her way to Aragorn's chambers and didn't even bother knocking before she let herself in; she knew he wouldn't be there until the campaign was planned.
She walked over to the table and wrote a simple note on a piece of parchment.
Estel,
Until we meet again.
Naltariel.
She slipped silently out of Aragorn's room and down towards the stables. It was late now and few people were still walking about the halls so she managed to slip by unnoticed. Vaiwa gave a small whinny when she entered the stable but she quickly silenced it to keep the stable boys from waking up.
She picked up her travel pack and silently opened the gate to Laurea's stable. She pressed a last kiss to Vaiwa's nose then led her white mare out of the stable. Once outside and in the protection of the shadows she fastened the pack over Laurea's back and put on her cloak.
She took a calming breath before jumping up onto the white mares back and galloping out of the gaping hole in the Deeping Wall that was left by the Orcs. She looked back once at the huge fortress. The fortress that had claimed Haldir's life, then concentrated on her route. It would be a two day ride to the Entwash and she would have to ford the Snowbourn, then another three days until the reached the Rohan-Gondor border and have to ford Mering Stream as well. Then six days to Cair Andros and another two days to Osgiliath. Thirteen days total, providing everything went as planned.