My Worst Fear

I don't own Sailor Moon, or any of the characters, and all that fun stuff.

April:

Serena turned her face up to the sun, basking in the warmth, hoping that she could absorb some of the happiness that seemed to permeate the park. "You got my favorite spot!" She exclaimed gleefully.

Darien smiled, and set Serena down on a checkered blanket. "I did." He knew that. He had one of his aids stake out this spot for the last week, waiting for the day when the park would be a pink wonderland, when the cherry blossoms would be in full bloom. Serena's favorite part of the year had always been spring, when the cherry trees turned into clouds of pink flowers. In all likelihood this would be the last year that Serena would see the Cherry blossoms, so she certainly deserved to have a spectacular final viewing party.

"The girls will be here later," Darien said as he sat down on the blanket. "And lunch will be here at noon, but we have all day to enjoy this."

Serena sighed, and wrapped her arms around Darien. "I love you."

Every time she said those three words Darien felt a pang in his heart; how was it fair that their life together could be cut so tragically short, when they had always assumed that they would be together for years. He had seen the future. He had seen their future, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to believe that everything would turn out alright with the present staring him in the face.

The present was pain. It was watching Serena's steady decline, seeing her pain, being unable to help her. It was knowing what was coming.

The present meant a future without the love of his life.

Darien leaned closer to kiss Serena's forehead. "I know." He said playfully. The least he could do was pretend that they were a normal couple. "Did you make a decision yet?"

He felt her nod.

"What are you going to do?"

In the middle of a public park, teeming with people who were busy rejoicing in the beauty of the flowers, it seemed as though there were only two people with silence stretching between them.

"I'll tell them... Today."

Darien nodded, he had been uncomfortable with the idea that their friends wouldn't know what was going on but in the end it was Serena's life that would change. Her friends would be the ones looking at her with pity and treating her like glass. Her friends would be the ones spending hours worrying.

It was her decision.

"You are right, I can't protect them forever." She bit her lip.

If she was completely honest with herself, Serena knew that as much as she wanted to protect her friends from the pain and worry she also wanted to protect herself. No, she didn't want to trouble anyone; she didn't want her friends to spend extra time worrying about her. Most of all, she didn't want to see that sad clouded look in her friends eyes when they looked at her. It was bad enough that Michiru knew, but when the others knew it would be unbearable.

"It is the right decision, Bunny."

Again Serena merely nodded, lost in thought.

Since January Serena had attended only a handful of Thursday afternoon lunches with her friends, each one more awkward than the last. Fire hearted Raye Kumada, Tokyo's darkly beautiful temple mistress, always brought up Serena's absence. Raye was unforgiving, claiming that life in the spotlight had expanded the air in Serena's little blonde head. Long ago, Serena had perfected a graceful, repentant look that would appease her friend; the look had been getting a lot of practice lately.

Raye's fiery accusations were a relief when compared with Ami's sullen silence. The young doctor had spoken a scarce handful of words to Serena in the past months. Once Serena had been Ami's preferred confidant; so the abrupt change in status was quite a blow, and not something that went unnoticed.

And there were the others; quiet, questioning, and disapproving. But it was better that they be angry.

It had to be better.

"Are you scared?"

Serena startled Darien, by breaking the silence. He blinked at her, considering lying. He could just say "No." It should be easy.

He was the strong one. He was the one who protected her. Why wasn't it easy?

"Yes."

She let out a deep breath, "Me too."

Darien rested his head on Serena's. "I never imagined that I could have life without you. I always thought that I would go first; that I would go down protecting you or Reeny."

Serena nodded, her breath catching at the thought of the pink pigtailed imp that she would never have as a daughter. "I wanted a fight."

It was ironic that they had both believed that they would die fighting, but perhaps that was only a product of the lives they lead. Serena had always known that one day she would come up against a fight that she couldn't win; she had just never thought that it would be so soon. She had thought she would have children, grow old, and fight the good fight.

"You had one." Darien squeezed Serena's hands, "You have one."

"Come take a walk with me, Bunny."

Serena looked up at her friend, Mina. "I can't right now Mina." She said with a slightly sad smile.

Mina Furuhata was a blonde haired, blue eyed beauty who turned more heads now than she ever had when she was younger. She had been an actress on Japanese TV for several years, but when she married Darien's best friend she had moved on to become a house wife. Now she was several months pregnant with her first child.

"Walking is good for you Bunny; my doctor said so, so it must be true." Mina winked at her friend. "And I just ate so much food that if I don't get up and walk around my baby is going to be obese before it even gets into the world."

Lita Kino looked up from her space on the blanket. "I would hate to be the cause of your child's weight issues." She said with a smile. Lita was a professional chef who owned her own restaurant, and she had catered the group's meal for the Cherry Blossom Viewing Party.

"I would love to, but I can't."

Mina shrugged, and lowered herself onto the blanket with some effort. "Then it will be your fault when I have a fat baby." She winked at her pigtailed friend, "Andrew will never forgive you."

"He'll get over it." Serena laughed softly, and tried to hide the involuntary cringe. She was acutely aware that today was not turning out to be a particularly good day for her, medically. She was already exhausted, and she was starting to experience a little pain.

"Why don't you take a nap, Bunny?"

Neither of the two women noticed Serena's slightly pained expression, when she covered her cringe with a smile. Darien had seen it, though. He was always there, making sure that she was alright. "I'll get you a pain pill, and then you can take a nap. Tell the girls what is going on when you are feeling better." He knelt down behind Serena, and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

Mina and Lita threw quizzical looks toward Darien, not certain what was going on, but he was completely absorbed in his wife.

Serena shook her head. "I'm fine, Darien." Even as she said it, Serena felt herself sagging against Darien's broad chest; borrowing his strength yet again.

His blue eyes darted towards Lita and Mina; the two women were intent on the checkered blanket as the pretended not to listen. He dropped is voice, "You aren't fine! Today is a bad day, I can see it on your face and in the way you fight so hard not to let me know."

Serena was still shaking her head, her expression setting in determination.

"You have time Bunny, they don't have to find out now." Darien's voice was coming out harsh, but his eyes were overflowing with emotion. "They don't even have to find out today."

A hand rested lightly on Darien's shoulder. "Let her tell them, she can sleep once everyone has had their say."

Serena tilted her head to smile gratefully up at her aqua haired friend; she knew that she didn't have the strength to fight with Darien on this issue, and apparently so did Michiru.

"I'll go fetch the others." Michiru lifted her hand from Darien's shoulder and glided off, her white skirt flowing around her.

Lita and Mina watched, mesmerized, as Darien and Serena lapsed into a tight silence. Neither woman could imagine what was going on between the couple. The women's minds jumped between worst case scenarios and joyful news, contemplating and discarding every idea.

The young architect closed her eyes and leaned back against her husband's chest, trying to take comfort in his closeness and steal herself to do what needed to be done. She had chosen today. She had chosen now.

The blonde had thought long and hard about how she would tell her friends, and how they would react. Raye would be angry to cover her pain; in a public park she couldn't make a big scene. Serena was less worried about herself then she was about her fiery friend. A huge outburst from Raye couldn't hurt Serena, but the temple mistress would regret it for years to come. That had to be avoided.

Haruka would be angry as well, but she would take her anger out on Michiru; claiming that the violinist had no faith or trust. Michiru would, of course, be hurt by such an accusation. She may be a highly independent, successful woman but if Haruka had an outburst Michiru would walk around looking like a wounded puppy for weeks.

Aside from Haruka and Raye's reactions, Serena was most worried about Ami. Ami was an exceptional doctor, so Serena could only guess at why she had yet to reach the right conclusion. Serena's fear was that Ami would be unable to move around the shock, and would retreat from the world as she had tried to do many years ago.

A deep breath swished from Serena's lungs in a heartfelt sigh. She had also chosen to tell her friends today because she hoped that some of the day's joy would dull the pain. She knew that they all leaned on her, more than they would like to admit. Serena's friends would feel as though their legs were being cut out from under them, what Serena really needed for them was the emotional equivalent of endorphins. Or morphine.

Why couldn't she be fourteen again?

For perhaps the thousandth time Serena wished that she would just wake up and find out that it was all a dream; that she wouldn't have to deal with it.

But it wasn't a dream. She would be gone with in the next year, and she had to be certain that her friends would not suffer for her.

"Open your eyes, Princess. The gang is all here."

Serena woke up, her mind buzzing. She had a design that she just had to get out onto paper. The blonde slowly moved her husband's arms from around her, careful not to wake him.

She stood up and smiled down at Darien, he looked so handsome with the moonlight playing across his chest. Gently, Serena reached down to brush some hair out of his face. Then she wandered off toward her studio, desperate to get the design on paper.

It struck her in the living room.

She stumbled, suddenly dizzy, and feeling sick. She put out one arm, to steady herself against the couch, and felt horror as it gave under her weight.

She flung her other arm out, not even registering the pain as she knocked an antique lamp off balance.

It shattered on the floor.

She fell forward, hitting her head on the coffee table.

By the time she hit the ground she was unconscious.

This is me! Thanks for all the positive feed back, I hope this chapter didn't dissapoint. I was originally planning on only having one more chapter after this, but I've decided that there need to be two. So... I'm almost done. Please R&R.