AUTHOR: trista groulx (the dustytiger)
DISCLAIMER: kim, faith, fred, joey, bobby, jimmy, bosco, davis, sully, none of these characters are mine, i'm just boring them to play with them for a little while, they belong to their creator and the actors and actresses who portray them, i promise i'll be gentle, don't sue
RATING: PG-13 tops currently
CONTENT: kim/faith friendship, fred/faith , kim/bobby ?
SPOILERS: 32 bullets and a broken heart (missing scene/continuation)
SUMMARY: Kim and Faith become friends after they share their heartaches that Valintines day.
AUTHORS NOTES: i watched 32 bullets and a broken heart, and at the end i just got the idea that Kim and Faith needed to call each other and talk. the plot bunny would not stop burrowing in my brain till i wrote this, so this is it... what i think should have happened after the ep, and maybe a little more... right now i'm not looking for this to be more then a few chappies long, just needed a change from my other two fics... anyway i hope you like, please review if you do
denotes time change, or date change
XX denotes meanwhile, or happening at approx the same time
Faith sat on the couch, thinking about how she could possibly tell her kids that she had asked their father to leave. She wasn't sure she wanted to get a divorce, but she knew something had to change before she trusted him again.
He hadn't even seen the problem with picking the kids up from school, drunk, and driving. How could any one get so drunk they can't even tell what's a good idea and what's a bad idea? She kept asking herself.
She was glad that Kim and Bobby had called her when they realized who it was they had just treated. Even though Bosco thought she had been overreacting to the situation, she didn't think she had.
He could have put their kids in danger, and that was all that had mattered. She wanted him to realize just how big of a mistake that was. It was one thing to put himself in danger, but it was another to endanger her kids.
She may not have been there with her kids every moment of their lives, but at least she could keep them safe. At least she could try and protect them from seeing their drunken father. She may not win parent of the year but she was not about to also have them have to see what she had.
She couldn't forget all the things she had seen her drunken father do as a child. She wanted to, but it was there forever. All the fights she had heard her parents have when they thought she couldn't hear. All the times he'd lose his temper at nothing. All the times she had gone to kiss him goodnight and he'd smell funny. There was no forgetting any of it, and she didn't want her own kids to have those kinds of memories.
She hoped that by putting him in jail and not letting him stay there he might get the idea. Maybe he'd realize how much she couldn't tolerate it. She thought that maybe he just needed a little help to learn to help himself.
She went into Emily and Charlie's room, and watched them as she slept. If only Fred could hold a steady job, she thought then they could have their own rooms. Emily would be a teenager before she knew it, and would not want to be changing in front of her little brother anymore.
She began to cry, and left the room's doorway before she woke them. She needed to talk to someone who might understand what she was going through. She couldn't think of anyone who could possibly begin to understand it. Bosco certainly hadn't, but she hadn't really expected him to.
XX
Meanwhile across town, Kim was not sleeping either. She peaked in on her sleeping son, and sighed. Why couldn't she give him what he needed, she asked herself. Why could she just give him a good male role model? Even though Jimmy was his father, he really wasn't that good with him, like Bobby was. Why was she so afraid that a guy like him could love her?That morning she had never been happier. She had woken up in Bobby's arms, and it was amazing. She cared about him so much, and she wanted to see where it might go. Then he had to go and admit that he loved her. How could he love her after one night? She wasn't even close to being in love with him. She got scared, and made the mistake of asking Jimmy for advice.
Now it was the end of the day, and she felt like shit. Not only was Bobby not talking to her, she had made a big mistake. Not sleeping with him, her choice of words, calling it a mistake. It wasn't a mistake; she was just scared because everything was moving so fast. She was not ready for commitment, and that's what he seemed to have wanted.
She needed to talk to him, and explain everything to him, but he was not answering either of his phones. How could she have been so stupid, letting a man like that slip through her fingers? But she couldn't love him if she was still in love with Jimmy. Nothing made sense anymore and she needed to talk to someone. But who could she call?
She jumped, startled, when the phone rang. She picked it up eagerly, hoping to hear Bobby's voice on the other end. She was surprised to hear a female voice on the other end.
"Hello?" said the voice.
"Hi," Kim replied.
"It's Faith, from work."
"Oh, hi… You're the last person I thought would be calling in the middle of the night."
"I'm sorry if I woke you."
"You didn't I'm up, have something on my mind."
Faith laughed. "Yeah, me too."
"So what's on your mind?"
"I asked my husband to not stay here tonight."
"Ouch."
"Yeah, what about you?"
"Bobby."
"Oh." Faith realized she was not the only one who needed to talk to someone.
"I somehow think we're both looking for a sympathetic ear right now."
"Definitely."
"How about we meet for coffee after we drop off the kids for school, but before work, for a good gab session?"
"That sounds great."
"All right, good. We'll meet at the coffee shop just around the corner from work?"
"Sounds perfect."
"I'll see you tomorrow around, say eleven? That should give us time enough to talk."
"I'll be there."
Click.
They both put down their phones, and got ready for bed. They were both
excited to be able to talk to another female about their perspective
problems.
--
The next day they both met at the agreed upon coffee shop. They each had large coffees, and decided to sit across from each other at a table by the window. Every once in a while they'd watch as an ambulance or police car would whiz by, sirens blazing.
"You'd think after working around them for long enough you'd stop looking," Kim commented.
"You'd think," Faith agreed.
"So do you think I overreacted yesterday?"
"With your husband?"
"Yeah, I mean do you I really had to arrest him?"
"It was your call. He was on his way to pick up your kids from school. You had to keep them safe."
Faith nodded. "That's exactly what I thought, too."
"I think it was totally justified. Don't let anyone try to make you think it wasn't, unless they're a mother too. Because Bosco just doesn't know it's like."
"That's what I tried to tell him. But he wouldn't listen."
"Such a man thing to do."
Faith laughed. "Exactly. So how did you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Leave Jimmy."
"Faith, he slept with my sister, there wasn't much of a thought process. I just wanted him out of my sight, out of my house, and away from my son."
"What did Joey think of it?"
Kim shrugged. "He still hates that we're divorced, and wants us to get back together. He's still young he really doesn't understand everything. But it's better for him this way. He doesn't have to hear us fighting anymore."
"Did you fight a lot?"
Kim nodded. "After I found out about his indiscretions, yes. We fight all the time now too, and it kills me when it's in front of Joey."
"Fred and I have been fighting a lot too."
"In the long run it's better to not have to hear it all the time. Kids just have a way of waking up when things get really heated."
"Yeah, I hate that they have to hear it."
Kim nodded. "So what happened last night?"
"I asked Fred to leave, I didn't want him anywhere near my kids. I just couldn't do it. I don't want them to have to see their father as an alcoholic."
"That's understandable."
"My father was an alcoholic, when I was kid. So I know how hard it is."
Kim nodded. "Just keep reminding yourself you're doing it for the right reasons."
"I'm trying to."
"It's going to be really hard on your kids. Nothing can prepare you for what they have to go through."
"What do you mean?"
Kim looked at her hands. "After we got separated, Joey tried everything to get us to start living together again. He was three at the time. I was tucking him in one night and he told me that he'd give back all his toys if we could just get back together."
"Really?"
"Yeah, he thought it had to do with him costing too much. It was so hard to explain to him what had happened exactly. How do you tell a three year old that his Daddy can't keep it in his pants where it belongs?"
Faith laughed. "I know what you mean. How am I supposed to tell my kids their father's a drunk without them hating him?"
"Exactly. Kids have this strange way of putting the pieces together so it's all their fault. It's really strange. Joey promised that he'd never hurt himself again. He's promised that he'd never be bad again. He thought he had done something wrong to make Jimmy go away, and I couldn't make him believe anything different."
"So what's he like now?"
"He still asks if we're going to get married again. But I think that's more because saint Edward's is telling him it's a sin, and he's afraid I'm going to go to hell."
"Poor thing."
"Yeah, I can't tell him that they're wrong, cause then he'll think that everything he learns in school is wrong." Faith nodded. "What would be your advice?"
"Honestly?"
"Yeah."
"Go to family counseling, and couples counseling. Try to get help before you just give up. Then you and your husband can work out a few important things, and someone else can help the kids understand exactly what's going on. They can talk to someone they feel safe with about how they feel, and what they're thinking."
"I understand what you mean."
"It would have made the whole thing so much easier for everyone. I mean in my case there's no twelve step programme to stop him from being a playboy, but at least we could have moved past the anger of it with someone being the referee." She tried to laugh.
"I understand what you mean. I might try that."
Kim smiled. "I hope you do."
"So last night you said something about Bobby?"
Kim nodded. "Yeah, we slept together."
"It's about damn time!"
"What?"
"Even from a distance it's hard to miss how he looks at you."
"What do you mean?"
"Most men look at you, and you just know they're thinking, hey baby, get in my bed!"
Kim blushed. "No they don't!"
"Most men do, Bosco for one does."
"No way! Bosco?"
"He thinks you're a MILF, he falls over himself every time you so much as smile at him."
Kim laughed. "Whatever."
"I'm serious, and most of the guys around here look at you like that. But not Bobby, he looks at you like, when will she finally notice me staring at her longingly?"
"He doesn't."
"He does. He looks at you like a puppy waiting for its master's orders. Wait what's the problem?"
"He told me he loves me."
"Again, what's the problem?"
"After one night?"
"Why not?"
"You can't fall in love with someone in one night."
"You can fall in love with some at first sight." Faith reasoned.
"That's different."
"You were never attracted to him?"
Kim shrugged. "Of course I am- was, look at him. How could I not be?"
"So what's the problem?"
"I don't know."
"He knows your history with Jimmy, right?"
Kim nodded. "I tell him everything."
"He's great with Joey, right?"
"He's amazing with kids."
"Kim, what's the problem, exactly?"
"He's too perfect."
Faith laughed. "He's got flaws, and you'll find them, I'm sure. But why don't you just try?"
"He loves me, and I don't love him back."
"And it's totally impossible to fall in love with him?"
"I guess not."
"Not to sound like a broken record but, what's the problem?"
Kim shrugged. "I just- it's Bobby!"
"So?"
"He's my best friend, I don't want to jeopardize that. What if Bosco suddenly told you he loved you, wouldn't you be scared to lose what you have."
Faith couldn't help but laugh. "If Bosco admitted he loved me I'd have to arrest him for drug use! Bosco is like Jimmy, a playboy, as you put it. That's not the Bobby I know."
"It's just-"
"Why do you keep justifying why you can't be with him, every time I tell you that you could?"
"Because, it would never work."
"You don't know until you try."
Kim shrugged. "I just don't know."
"Carpe diem?"
"I really don't know."
"You gave me some good advise which I think I'm going to take. You could always do the same." Kim smiled. "And what, exactly, is your advice?"
"Just see what happens, don't let someone like him go just because you weren't ready to hear that he loves you." "All right, I'll try."
Faith looked at her watch. "Time sure does fly."
"Yeah," Kim agreed.
The two left the coffee shop and headed over to work.
"We need to do this more often," Kim laughed.
"Yes, we do," Faith agreed. "I need a woman's perspective a lot more then I thought."
"All right, we'll try to do this on a regular basis."
"Good."
"And if we have to we'll let our kids play together."
"Yeah, see you later."
"Yeah, later." She gave her new friend a hug, before they went to the different buildings.
Kim heard Jimmy whistle. "So you've gone to women now!" He called.
"Go fuck yourself Jimmy!" she hollered back.
He ran to catch up to her. "Ouch, that hurt, Kimmy."
"I'm not in the mood, Jimmy."
"Now there's something she doesn't say often."
She glared at him. "Whatever, just leave me alone."
She needed to find Bobby, she needed to talk to him, and she didn't need Jimmy making her rethink everything before she had a chance to say what she needed to say. Jimmy actually took the hint, and didn't follow her upstairs. Sure enough Bobby was there getting changed.
"Hi," she whispered.
"Hey," he replied.
"Can we talk?"
"I don't think I can handle that, right now."
"Please?"
He couldn't help but agree. "What's on your mind?"
"It wasn't a mistake, it's just not how I wanted it to happen."
He nodded. "Mistake was pretty clear, Kim."
"Bobby, you were hurting, the best way I know how to make a man feel better is-"
He looked way. "Kim, please, don't."
"It's just the way I am. When I'm really worked up about something, I think it helps. That's why I go back to Jimmy."
"Kim, you've got a problem."
"I know! But I didn't want our first time to be to help make a hurt feel better, especially when I realized what your feelings were."
"Then why did you do it?"
She shrugged. "Because it's the way I am, I know that I can help using my body. But I want to change that. I don't want to have just sex anymore."
"Why are you telling me this? Why not tell Doherty?"
"Because I want to fall in love, for real." She looked at him right in the eyes. "With someone who loves me for me, not, how did you put it, for the friction I give them?"
"What brought on the revelation?"
"Just was talking to a friend, and she helped me to realize it."
"Do you mean it Kim?"
"Yes, so do you still want me?"
He hugged her. "Of course I do, you're the only person I really want."
She smiled at him. "Let's just go slowly, from now on?"
He nodded. "All you have to do is tell me when I'm getting to be too much, and I'll stop."
"Why do you love me?"
"Because you're the most amazing person I've ever met, and I want you to know it."
She smiled at him. "You're too good for me."
"Don't say that, Kim. You're exactly who and what I want."
She kissed him, lightly, and slightly nervously. He ran his hand through her hair, while she wrapped her arms around his waist. She then deepened this kiss, and he gently explored her mouth his tongue. They were so wrapped up in each other they hear Jimmy go upstairs, stop then go back down dejected. He pulled away.
"You should get dressed, we have work to do."
"Yeah," she agreed, flustered from the kiss.
XX
Meanwhile at the station, Faith was in role call, sitting next to her partner. There wasn't too much of interest that day. A picture of Bobby's brother was passed out because they thought he had something to do with the liquor store robbery. Faith wondered if that had anything to do with what happened between Kim and Bobby.
They all got up to get ready for the day. Davis was, as usual teasing Sully about his being single. She started toward the car, and Bosco followed her.
"Roses," he said.
"What?' asked Faith.
"I got her roses. Seemed a little cheesy, but she liked them."
"Who?"
"Nicole."
"Right."
"So I got my, uh- Nicole, roses, what did you get Fred?" He asked before getting into the squad car.
"Nothing, I asked him to leave last night."
"Ouch!"
"He went to pick up the kids drunk!"
"So you kicked him out?"
"I didn't want to talk to him last night."
He turned the key to start the engine. "So when are you going to talk to him?"
"Some time today, if I can find him."
"And what are you going to say?"
"I don't know exactly yet." She shrugged. "I'm going to gently suggest that we go to counseling."
"Really?" he was genuinely shocked.
"I talked to a friend this morning, and she gave me some good advice, and I think I'm going to take it. If counseling does nothing, then we'll see what happens. But at least the kids'll know we tried."
"I'm impressed, Yokas!"
"Coming from you, Bos, that's a compliment."
"And if things don't work out?"
She shrugged. "I move on, I guess. So you got her roses?"
"Yeah, they're not cheap either! But she really liked them."
"I don't want to know how she thanked you."
He laughed. "Gave me a break."
She laughed. "Now you're rethinking the whole thing?"
"No, she's a nice girl."
"I'm impressed, Boscorelli!" She mimicked from before.
"Five-five Charlie respond to.." the radio crackled.
Faith flipped on the sirens, while Bosco left foot went heavy on the gas.
tbc..
end notes: i've got at least one more part of this, if you like it please tell me, i love reviews they make me happy... oh and the whole thing with treva is just a one night stand (cause that's what it looked like it was gonna be at the end of the ep)