AUTHOR: trista groulx (the dustytiger)
DISCLAIMER: kim, faith, fred, joey, bobby, jimmy, bosco, davis, sully, none of these characters not are mine, i'm just borowing them to play with them for a little while, they belong to their creator and the actors and actresses who portray them, i promise i'll be gentle, don't sue
RATING: PG-13 tops currently
CONTENT: kim/faith friendship, fred/faith , kim/bobby ?
SPOILERS: 32 bullets and a broken heart (missing scene/continuation)
SUMMARY: Kim and Faith become friends after they share their heartaches that Valintines day.
AUTHORS NOTES: wow part three, i didn't think it would get this big and there's at least two more like three parts i want to write... wait it'd have to be four...i'm glad people seem to be liking this, i'm trying to keep with the timeline, and i'm doing a better job then with most of my fics, trying to keep the characters in character too i hope i'm doing okay... when i get a review i dance around the room with the first cat i see, make that happen, please?
Kim was getting off shift, and not looking forward to waiting for a cab in the cold. She went downstairs, and was surprised to see Bobby waiting for her.
"Need a ride home?" he offered.
"That would be great," she replied.
"Do you need to pick up Joey tonight?"
"No, Jimmy's taking him tonight."
"All right." He unlocked the car, and they got inside.
She looked over at him. "About today-"
"There's nothing to say."
"I didn't mean to get you worked up only to ask you to stop."
"It's all right, you had your reasons."
"I know that but I still feel bad."
"Kim, you don't even have to do anything to get me worked up. When you're ready again, I will be too."
She was blushing from his previous comment. "I just think that if we slept together again right away it could lead to problems."
He nodded. "Why don't you value yourself?"
"What?"
"Why do you use your body to give others what you think they need. Why don't you value yourself enough to know that sometimes what a guy needs is your mind?"
She shrugged. "Because no one's made me feel like they got with me for my mind before."
"I did. I always knew you were beautiful, but I've always listened to what you had to say, and a lot of the time you don't even give yourself credit for that."
She smiled at him. "Sometimes I like the attention from people just looking at me. Actually, most of the time I prefer it."
"You're so much more then that."
"Faith told me something today, that surprised me. She told me that most men look at me and want to get in my pants."
"They do, you just don't seem to notice it."
"I notice them looking, but I don't think they're thinking that. She also said that you didn't, you just looked at me hoping I'd notice you staring at me. How did I miss that?"
"Sometimes it's easy to miss what's right there in front of you."
She nodded. "I noticed you, I just didn't let myself believe that you wanted anything to do with me."
He reached over and took her hand. "Why would you think that?"
"Because you're an amazing person, and I didn't want to screw anything up between us. I'm not very good with relationships. I do better when it's not real, when it's just sex. I thought that's what we were doing the other night."
"I don't like just sex, I feel horrible after."
She squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry."
"You're fixing it now, right?"
"I'm going to try."
He pulled up in front of her building. "See you tomorrow."
"Come up?"
"Kim." He warned.
"Please, no letting it get out of hand. I want to talk."
"As soon as things get too hot and heavy, I'm going to leave."
"All right."
They both got out of the car, and he followed her upstairs. The last time he had been there the last thing he had expected was what happened. He was going to be more careful this time. When they got inside they both sat on the couch, and then they went quiet. He pulled her toward him, and just held her.
"I had a one night stand last night," he said finally.
"What?" she asked.
"I thought I shouldn't lie to you. I had a one night stand last night."
"All right."
"I was drinking, and we started talking, I was upset that you rejected me, so I didn't think I just acted."
"You don't have to justify yourself to me."
He brushed her hair with his fingers. "I wanted to tell you the truth. It didn't mean anything. I was just down cause the person I loved since I met her told me I had been a mistake."
"I'm sorry, Bobby. If I had known-"
"I know, and I'm sorry for not being more honest with you. I should have told you that I was interested in you as something more then comfort. I should have done so many things differently."
"We can't change that now." She sighed. "It's ironic how I hate Jimmy for not keeping it in his pants, when I can't keep mine on and my legs closed."
"Don't say that Kim. You've never cheated on anyone you were with. It's different, you do it because you think that's what guys want you to do."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"I'm trying to say you're not a slut. You're trying something different right now, that has to count for something."
"I guess so. This is really nice." She snuggled up closer to him.
"Yeah, this is great." He just kept playing with her hair.
XX
Faith got home, exhausted, knowing that her day was far from over. She still had some things to talk to her husband about. She fell onto the couch, and she just wanted to sleep. Fred appeared in front of her with a plate of re-warmed pasta.
"Thank you," she said, smiling at him.
"I'm sorry," he replied.
She looked at him. "For what?"
"Putting the kids in danger yesterday, you were right."
She nodded. "All right, but we're still going to therapy."
"I'm not going to try and back out of it. I think it's a great idea, whoever suggested was right on the ball."
"She just learned from her own mistakes."
He nodded. "So who's this person?"
"One of the medics across from work. We got to talking, and we decided to take each other's advise." She looked at him.
"So what happens if it doesn't help?"
"I guess we'll have to find out if the time comes. I'm more worried about the drinking."
"I know, and I really want to do it, for you and the kids."
She smiled at him. "I want to believe you. But you have to want to do it for yourself too."
"I know, and I do."
"I don't want our kids having to see what I did growing up."
"I know, and I'm sorry for what they've already seen."
She took his hand, and he sat down next to her. "They shouldn't have to see that."
"I agree, and I hope they don't remember."
She nodded. "They're smarter then we give them credit for. My friend's son is younger then Charlie and he still says he'll be good, and not ask for more toys so that she can get back with his father."
"Wow. I didn't realize until yesterday how much my drinking effected everyone here."
"I know that, Fred. But you doing the right thing isn't going to erase all the things that have already been done."
"I know. I'm going to do it, Faith, I'll stop drinking."
"I hope you do, Fred, I really do. But if you can't do it, understand that me and the kids are gone. I can't give you a bunch of chances. You've told me before you'd quit, and you haven't."
"I know, and I won't screw it up."
"I really want to believe that, Fred, but it's hard., real hard."
"Mommy?" they heard a small voice say, it was Emily.
Faith went into the kids' room. "Yeah, Emily."
"Are you and Daddy going to get a divorce?"
"We're going to work on not having that happen."
"See I told you so, Charlie."
"You're up too?" Faith asked him.
"Yeah," he replied, popping his head out from under the covers.
"If you're up anyway, why don't you two come in here for minute? We all need to talk about something important."
The two kids came into the living room, and the four of them sat on the couch. The kids knew their parents were not going to tell them they were getting a divorce, but were worried about what they might say.
"What's going on?" Emily asked.
"Yesterday your father and me got into fight," Faith explained. "He did something he shouldn't have done, and when he came home I didn't want him here. That's why he wasn't hear this morning to bring you to school. I was talking to a friend today, and she thought it might be a good idea if we all went to talk to someone."
"Who?" Charlie interrupted.
"There's a special kind of doctor who just listens to people talk, and helps them with their problems. I want us to go as a family so you two will understand what's going on. If you have to go without us too, then that's how it's going to be. Your father and me are going to see another doctor, just the two us too. So that we can talk about what we've done, so that we won't get a divorce."
"Daddy, what did you do?" Emily asked.
"It's hard to explain," Fred replied. "But I promise that I'm trying to make it better. Maybe the doctor can help me to explain to you what the problem is."
She nodded. "Promise you won't get a divorce."
That hit Faith really hard. She wanted so much to promise that to her daughter, but she knew she couldn't do it honestly. There was still a change they could get a divorce. She remember Kim telling her about her son had promised them the moon for them to get married again.
It effected the kids so much, and until she had talked to Kim she hadn't even considered that. It broke her heart to know that she may not be able to give her daughter something she wanted so badly.
"Emily," Fred said. "We can only promise that we'll try our hardest to make sure we don't get a divorce."
"Yeah," Faith agreed. "But if we do it's not because of anything either you have done. You are the best kids in the world."
Charlie smiled at his mother, then hugged her. She just hugged him, then kissed him on the forehead. She felt like she was going to cry, this had been a lot harder then she thought it would be.
"You too have school in the morning, how about you get some sleep?" Fred asked them.
Emily nodded. "Come on Charlie."
They both watched as the kids went back into their room. Faith looked away, and began to cry. Fred went to comfort her, but she pushed him away.
"I still need space, Fred," she whispered, going into her room, closing the door behind her. Fred knew that meant that he was going to be sleeping on the couch that night. He knew he deserved it, but he still hated it. He wanted so much to make it better, to relive the day before and not drive drunk.
He also knew that the problems they were having were beyond just the drinking. It had gotten far too out of hand, and Faith had had enough. He knew that it had gotten out of hand, he just hoped he could keep in check with help, because he knew if he couldn't he'd lose his wife.
He peaked into the kids' room, and they seemed to be sleeping. He then got himself a pillow and blanket, and got comfortable on the couch.
In her room Faith was sat up, with her legs against her chest, crying. Trying hard to keep quiet, she didn't want to wake the kids, or have Fred come in. On the nightstand there was a picture of them taken recently. She looked at it, wanting to go back to that time, where everything seemed like it wasn't a problem.
She looked at the four smiling faces in the picture, and hoped that they would have many more pictures like that one. She wanted so much to believe that Fred would change, but a part of her was worried that he couldn't.
She picked up the phone, and before she knew it she had called Kim's number. It took a few rings for her to answer. Faith wondered if she was going to wake her friend up.
"Hi," Kim whispered.
"Hi, it's Faith," she said.
"Oh, hi." She was still whispering.
"Why are you whispering?"
"Bobby's asleep next to me."
"Oh."
"We were just talking, and he fell asleep."
Faith laughed. "I'll believe you."
"So why'd you call?"
"When I went to tell the kids goodnight, my daughter asked me if we were going to get a divorce."
"That had to hurt."
Faith sighed. "Yeah, I didn't realize they knew how bad things had gotten."
"They just know."
"So we told them what was going on, and that we were going to counseling. Kim she asked me to promise her we wouldn't get a divorce."
"Oh, Faith."
"What was I supposed to tell her?"
"The truth, you can't promise her that, you know that."
"I know." She sniffled, trying to fight back the tears.
"It hurts, I know. But if going to counseling helps, then you don't have to hurt any more. You don't want to lie to her about something like this."
"I know I can't lie to her. I just didn't think it would be so hard to hear."
"Nothing can prepare you for it. At least you're trying to work it out. Most people don't even do that. Try to keep positive."
Faith wiped the tears from her eyes. "It's really hard."
"I know, but you have to be strong either way, for those kids. You did the right thing, and don't let yourself think otherwise. Just do it for your kids."
"I think I'm finally starting to understand my mother."
Kim laughed. "Funny how that happens when we have kids of our own. I think Bobby's starting to wake up, so I've got to go."
"Talk to you later."
"Yeah, call me tomorrow if you sill need to talk."
"Thanks, bye."
"Later."
Faith hung up the phone, and curled up in bed. She had trouble falling asleep, but she did manage it. It was so strange sleeping without her husband laying next to her. She was glad that Kim was being so supportive through everything, she really needed a friend. It was nice to have one who had been through something similar.
XX
At Kim's Bobby had, in fact woken up. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. She brushed her hand against his face. She realized she liked watching him wake up. He looked confused for a moment, then remembered where he was.
"Who were you just talking to?" he asked.
"Faith," she replied.
"Why did you let me fall asleep?"
"I was sleeping too, until my phone rang."
He kissed her. "I should probably get home."
"Stay."
"Kim, you know that's not a good idea."
"It's late, and you're tired, I don't want you to get into a car accident. Stay, please."
He smiled at her. "I'll take the couch."
"We're both adults, we can share the bed."
"I told you I'm leaving when you go to far."
"Bobby, I'm too tired for that. I just liked the feeling of you holding me, a lot. I liked waking up to realize that I was in your arms. I want to feel that again, without all the emotions I can't handle."
"Are you sure?"
"I can't see how I feel about you if I don't get to spend any real alone time with you."
"Fine, but I'm going to remind you, if you go too far, I'm gone."
"What do I have to do? Promise I'll be a good girl?"
He laughed. "I don't want things to get screwed up again."
She kissed him light. "Neither to I, Bobby. I'm too afraid to lose you."
"You'd have to do an awful lot to get rid of me. Even if this doesn't work out I'd hope we could still be friends."
"I'd want that too, but it'd be hard. I don't want to lose another man I lo-" She stopped herself. "Another man I like."
"You were gonna say it."
"No, I wasn't!"
"You're such a bad liar."
"I can't love two people at once," she reasoned.
"Do you really love Jimmy? Or are you just afraid to lose your past with him. No matter how you feel about him now, your past will never be erased. Joey will not disappear if you love another person. You won't stop loving Joey because you've stopped loving Jimmy."
"Logically I know that, but my heart isn't really there yet. I don't want to tell you those words until every part of me knows it's the truth."
"I'll wait till the end of time if I have to, Kim."
She smiled at him. "You're too good for me."
"Don't sell yourself short. You deserve a prince."
She laughed, then leaned over a kissed him. Her hand moved to cup his cheek. She just needed to feel him, make sure he was real. She had to know everything that was happening was really going on.
"Is this real?" she whispered, pulling away
"I hope so," he whispered back. "I love you, Kim."
She smiled at him. "How can you possibly love a train wreck like me?"
"Because you're not a train wreck, you're an amazing person who made a mistake. You deserve to feel real love. You deserve to have someone tell you whenever you ask exactly how he feels. You deserve to know that that person will come back to you no matter who else he may see during the course of the day. You deserve so much more then you let yourself have."
"Why can't you see me for who I am?"
"I think I'm the only person who sees you for who you really are, and I'll have to teach you how to see yourself too."
"Why?"
"Cause that's just what you do when you love someone."
"No one's ever done that for me before."
"Let me be the first."
She kissed him lightly. "I'm almost there."
He smiled, and followed her into her room. They curled up in the bed together, and soon they had both fallen asleep.
tbc...
end notes: all right, this is gonna be longer then orignally planned, i'm almost done writing tw:tng so i guess this one might take it's place cause i went to write part four and my muse came up with something i was not expecting, and i'm really happy about where it's going so, so i think it's graduated to from side fic to active fic, i hope you like...