Man I feel so evil for not updating a lot. And I'm really sorry! Forgive me? Of course you will.

Okay this fic is going to be during Emperor Mage and it's going to have Varice dead and stuff. Yay! And there will be a little N/D too!

Heehee…major exaggeration in this one.

disclaimer: I don't own crap. Or the characters...lol. All Tammy's except for the crap, which belongs to out amazing digestive system!

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Varice Kingsford was very excited to be able to see Numair again. He was coming to the ball that night, and she couldn't wait to steal him away from his student and make Numair sit next to her for the rest of his stay.

She ignored a voice in her head that said that such actions could lead to Numair's death and make the student really pissed and make really tall dinosaurs tear down the walls because Varice was so damn upsessed with the mage.

It was unhealthy how crazy she was really. Not even the Emperor knew that she had a Numair shrine in her closet, when all things that reminded Ozorne of Numair would be confiscated because he was evil like that.

Varice decided to get ready for the ball even though it was much later that night and it was indeed only morning. She excused that disturbing fact by saying that she needed time to put on makeup. She probably put on so much of the stuff that she doesn't even know what she really looks like anymore. But she just shrugged that off also because she was ignorant that way.

OOO

Much later that night, since having Varice putting on her dress and makeup isn't at all exciting, the ball started.

"Numair my sweet love of my life that probably left the country because I'm so damn boring to talk to!" Varice called. The tall black hared man turned his head to the voice at the sound of his name. His student Daine also turned her head.

"Aw shit," he whispered mostly to himself though mostly the whole ballroom could hear. Varice didn't seem to hear however, probably because she stuck so many Q-tips up her ears that she lost most of her hearing abilities.

Varice walked up to Daine and Numair. She glared at Daine like a territorial lion that wears a lot of makeup and smiled at Numair. "Hello Darling!"

"Hi," Numair choked out. "Varice, who I would rather not be talking to right now, could you please step aside? Me and my student would like to dance."

Varice glared daggers at Daine. "I wouldn't love to, but I guess I have to because I'm a proper lady." The insult, if one could call it that, was thrown at Daine clearly.

"Far from proper is more like it," Daine joked. Numair laughed a hearty laugh and they walked away from Varice who was dressed in too much pink to be healthy.

"So when should we murder her?" Daine asked as they danced. Both of them were a little bit too close for proper dancing, but neither of them seemed to mind.

"Daine!" Numair said clearly shocked. He wasn't used to such outbursts from a person who mostly talks to animals. "That's a great idea!"

"Well I'm a great person," Daine said as she smiled up at the tall man. Numair's stomach did flip-flops like they always did when they touched.

"How about tonight?" He recommended. Daine nodded. "With my hard core progift thing, we should be able to kill the idiot of a stupid person tonight. Here's the plan."

They brought their heads with their faces only inches apart as they discussed. Neither of them could shake the fact that they were so close to kissing each other. But Numair didn't want to take advantage of her and Daine probably had cud in her mouth from when she accidentally transformed into a cow.

OOO

Varice was in her room reading her book called, How to Win a Black Robed Mage's Heart and Kill their Student in the Process, by King Jonathan, when she heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," she purred to the door. She didn't mean to purr, but she also couldn't help the fact that her grandma was a cat now could she?

Numair walked in with a smiling face. A fake smiling face, mind. He was supposed to lead Varice on, which he could do easily because he was cool that way.

"Hello Varice," he greeted heatedly. Varice smiled wickedly. Varice walked up to the tall man and wrapped her arms around his neck. The rings on her fingers were biting into Numair's neck.

Numair looked up into the window to see Daine's face. He winked and she smiled back. Summoning his really really strong gift he put a silencing spell over Varice and put a protection wall throughout the room making it so that no spies could listen through the walls. Or the average passer by.

OOO

Alanna, the average lady knight, was having an average walk through the hallways. Being the average evil person that Alanna was, she decided to sneak up on Varice and threaten her. She never liked the witch. She wore too much pink for her own good.

She walked up to the door to listen through it and see if she could use blackmail by recording her snoring or something average like that, to find that she couldn't hear through the door at all.

This was very peculiar to her for some reason. She came up with three reasons as to why she couldn't hear a thing. One, she was suddenly going deaf, two Varice used her gift to soundproof the walls because she didn't want to scare people with her hideous singing, or three, Daine and Numair were planning to murder her and Numair just sound proofed the walls so that he could kill her without anyone hearing.

Deciding that the third idea was the most reasonable, she shrugged and walked back to her average room.

Never before had our favorite Lady Knight until a Yamani trained chick with a long stick blade thing becomes a knight, ever let us down.

(A/N: OMG that was so funny! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Chh snortheehee!)

OOO

"Listen to me you (blahblahbalhevilwordbleep) with a warthog as a mother and a father that smells of elderberries! I never liked you! And today you shall die!" Numair said with an evil glint in his eyes. Animals started to come through the windows in her room to do evil things to Varice.

And indeed they did. Southern birds relieved themselves on Varice's head, foxes tested their biting strength on her night gown, and chipmunks tore at her skin.

After a few minutes a really big bear decided to crash the best party of the year and entered the door through a window that at first glance you would think wasn't big enough to admit a bear. The bear, which just happened to like to eat people, ate Varice up and left the room.

Daine quickly came in. "We did it Numair!" she ran over to him and hugged him tight with their bodies crushed together. Soon enough their mouths were on each other's and they began to kiss passionately.

"Indeed we did, magelet," Numair whispered to her with his mouth only inches away from hers. Once again they kissed.

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I like it! Oh and if you haven't done so already, click the reviews button to read the reviews. There is one by me that has me beating Jon's arse. Heehee. Read it peoples!

Replies:

Halaia: a strange person I am…

Jeweled Rose: Revealing secrets is what I do best! Yay!

Ethuiliel: awesome, I love music. I can play the stereo also…lol. I also just started euphonium, which is like a mini tuba. That's not slash! I thought guys had sleepovers…well this one guy that went to my old school has sleepovers all the time. He was my old neighbor before I moved.

Arwen-Dragonrider: You know it would be koolio if arwen could ride dragons…yea anyway. That sux…I thought she could read fanfics.

Freekofnature: Yay! Roger sux! Oh I should kill roger next time! Even though he's already dead…snaps fingers…dammit!

By guys I gotta go and run around the neighborhood like a crazy person!

heartdamoose