Disclaimer: I own Numair's toe, but not Numair himself. So I guess I don't own Numair's toe. (trudges off depressed)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Once upon a time there was a toe.
The toe's name was Henry. Henry liked to go skinny-dipping in lakes and eat marsh mellows. Even though Henry didn't have a mouth, he didn't care.
Henry decided to take a walk. Toes like to walk. But Henry was cold, so he high jacked Daine's sweater and put it on. Henry was happy.
All of a sudden an old lady that looked a lot like the evil monkey god/thing on the roof of the world and that smelled of prune juice and wooden teeth picked up the toe and laughed maliciously.
"Ah ha! My journey is complete! I have found the TOE!" again she laughed.
"inginheimersaderighodenm!" yelled Henry at the old lady.
The lady laughed and smiled greedily. Henry was confused. For that was toe speak for, "Shit, shit, an old lady is trying to eat me!"
The old lady carried the toe to the dancing dove. Henry was pissed. There were no marsh mellows at the Dancing Dove.
"I have the toe!" cried the old lady victoriously to the room.
No one seemed to listen though. They were to busy having a food fight and getting high off of butter beer.
"They have butter beer here?" asked Ron as he trudged through the door. "I love that stuff." Ron laughed like a girl and looked for the butter beer.
"Hey is that a toe?" asked Ron as he laughed.
"gerksfnfe!" or toe speak meaning, "Get away! My toe! Go away! It's Mine! I own it! Get away!"
"A TOE!" cried Ron happily. All of the men having a food fight looked up.
"A toe?"
"That's what I said dumb butts!" Ron said. But then Ron was quickly taken away by the Story Committee Of Misplaced Characters.
Now the old lady was hungry so she set Henry down to eat some cookies, the king decided to take a bubble bath, Neal fell in a ditch, people on the roof of the world are wondering how this has to do with anything, and there was an earthquake in Carthak.
And then Henry fell on the ground when a drunk guy ran into the table that he was set on and Henry was squished. But Henry didn't care. Henry thought that the other toes in the realm of the dead were horny.
Then Daine popped in. "Has anyone seen my sweater?"