Sorry bout the updates.
Believe me I feel really guilty and mean for just leaving like that but I am like so busy right now…
Enough with complaints. I should start before u sue me.
Disclaimer: -glare- I thought you were intelligent. Do I have to tell u every chapter or something!
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Neal was extremely bored. He had already pulled five pranks on The Stump, gotten five detentions, read his book called How to not be killed by an evil fat horse who is out to get you by Daine Sarrasri, eaten twice his body weight, and attempted to murder Emmy with no luck (right when he was about to scare her to death, she tripped down a flight of stairs). And now there was nothing to do.
So Neal decided to walk down the hallway to consume even more food.
All of a sudden a piece of paper ran into his head and blocked his vision.
"Oh my Gosh a paper is blocking my vision!" cried Neal as he ran around crazily. He then realized that he had arms and peeled the paper off of his face. Then he saw words on the paper.
It read:
GROUP THERAPY
Do you need therapy? Do you have boredom problems? Do you sometimes forget that you have arms? Well then you may want to come to group therapy, where all of your problems will be therapy healed. Sessions are at 5:00 PM to 6:00 PM every Thursday at the Bucking Moose in. Bring a friend and come on down today!
From the IFTRODAMCP
(Institution for the rights of dangerous and mentally confused people)
"Hey that was oddly specific," Neal said staring at the paper and reading it again. Then he realized something amazing. "Hey I said a big word. Spe-ci-fic." Alas it was a day of discovery for Nealan.
But oh my goodness what's this!
"Hey it's Thursday!" exclaimed Neal victoriously. "I still have time to go to therapy!"
We have never been more proud of our little healer. However, he may have time physically to get to therapy, but mentally is a different chapter all together, That one will not be writing any time soon. Does any of this even make sense?
Now after Neal read the letter once again, he realized that he could bring his friends. So he rounded up all of his friends by threats and blackmail and they all walked to group therapy at the Bucking Moose Inn, not too far from the Sleeping Moose Inn.
"Neal what are we doing here?" Kel asked as he dragged her, Faleron, Merric, Owen, and Cleon, into the Inn. Unfortunately, a certain prince couldn't make it because he was naughty and got grounded by the evil King Jonathan.
"You'll see," said Neal as they stepped inside. The inn was very—well to put it nicely—unique. It was small, yet cozy, dim, but friendly. Everything seemed to be made out of a dark shade of wood except for a large red bricked fireplace that let out comforting warmth that made their noses and cheeks tingle. Tucked in the corner was an oak bar.
A man with sharp brown eyes and long brown hair came up to them. He looked to be a nature lover; his outfit was made of light cotton in the colors of brown and green. He smiled.
"Hello. I'm guessing you are here for group therapy? My name is Larry." He introduced. His voice was soft and whispery.
Kel, Cleon, Faleron, and Merric, and Owen looked at Neal. "Therapy, Nealan!" Merric exclaimed outraged. "You threatened that you would murder my grandma if I don't go to therapy with you!"
"Hey little man," whispered Larry, his voice cool. "Calm your soul, let your words leave your body like wind brushes against leaves. Lightly and smoothly. Mother Nature is our savior."
Merric stared at Larry oddly. "Dude what crap are you on?"
Larry closed his eyes. "Nature's love."
What the shrim?
Kel looked at him oddly. "I think that 'nature's love' is doin' a little somethin' to your head there buddy," she pointed out.
"Yes, yes it is."
Faleron looked away. "Wow. Now that you think of it, group therapy might be needed right now."
"Yes. Clense your souls on the second floor first door to the right. Save the whales. Children are our future."
The six of them backed away slowly towards the stairs. "Um, will do sir," said Owen slightly scared. Once they felt the rise of the fist stair, they quickly turned around and sprinted up the flight.
"Welcome to Group Therapy!' welcomed a tall man with short blonde hair and green eyes. He was sitting in a circle along with three other people. "We haven't started yet, please sit down. Make room for the new people please," he told the people who were already sitting. They spread out to make room for the six friends.
After they sat down, the therapist clapped his hands together and smiled. "Well, to begin I think we shall introduce ourselves going around in a circle. Give us your name, a little bit about yourself, and why you decided to come here. I'll start with myself.
"My name is Gary of Hollow Peak, and I went to the University in my youth. I like to camp and look at nature. And I have come here to help people with their problems. Now let's here from you," he said pointing to Neal.
Neal nodded. "My name is Nealan of Queenscove, but call me Neal. Um…I'm a third year page, let's see…I'm not the best fighter, but I like to write poetry. I guess I came here because I was bored."
Gary nodded. "Pleased to meet you Neal. Next."
Faleron was next. "My name is Faleron of King's Reach, and I'm friends with Neal. I like to ride horses and swim. I came here because the guy down there scared me—and Neal forced me to."
Gary nodded. "Pleased to meet you Faleron. Next."
"My name is Merric of Hollyrose. Even though my fief name is girly, I think I'm a pretty tough guy." Neal snorted. "Enough of you Neal. You shall pay for that in the courtyards. And I came here cause I was threatened to."
Gary nodded. "Pleased to meet you Merric. Next."
Getting annoying yet?
"My name is Keladry of Mindelan. I'm training to be a knight along with the other three. I was raised in the Yamani Islands, and Neal's my best friend. I don't know why I'm here exactly."
Gary nodded. "Pleased to meet you Keladry. Next."
"My name is Owen of (Itotallyforgotwhathisfiefnameis), and my favorite word is jolly. People say that I say jolly too much, but I think it's jolly fun! They also say I have happy problems, but I think it's jolly that I'm always happy! Um…yah…I lost a bet."
Gary nodded. "Pleased to meet you Owen. Next."
"My name is Cleon of Kennan yo gangsta G. But I go by C.fizzle."
Neal coughed. "No you don't."
"Oi. Don't be a interruptin' my gangsta talk yo, homie. That's not cool yo. People a think I'm annoying, but they are wrongfizzle ya know? It's cool tho dogg. I know I'm better then them. Dude…I don't know why I'm here, but it's okay, it's hott, it's hott."
Garry nodded. "Pleased to meet you Cleon. Next."
A small man who seemed to be around 18 looked up. "My name is Henry Mooned. Uh…I'm married, and uh I live in a card board box, and I believe in the boogyman. And I came here because I'm allergic to water."
Gary nodded. "Pleased to meet you Henry. Next."
A chick with sick hair and emo clothes spoke next. "My name is Mikelle. I live with the living dead. I have a fear of uncooked mushrooms. I came here because life sux."
Gary nodded. "Pleased to meet you Mikelle. Next."
The last person was a petite court girl. "My name is like Stephanie of Richville and I'm like rich! I date about 20 guys a month and spend my money on like makeup and like stuff that like I like and stuff like that like ya know like? I like came here because like my parents say I have like problems and like stuff, but I think they're like wrong. But it's okay cause I'm like rich…"
Gary nodded. "Pleased to meet you Stephanie. Well that concludes our introduction. Now one by one I will be taking care of your problems. Let me start with…Cleon."
"Yo old man, that's sickness."
"Yes, now I notice that you have…speech problems."
"Dude, man, it's how my tongue rolls ya know? I can't help talking gangsta."
"That's the problem. You see your speech problem is taking over your life. You have to get rid of it. Why don't you go to speech therapy next door?"
"But—."
"GO YOU DAMN FOOL OR FACE THE CONSEQUENSES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-cough-. Well then. Go on now Cleon."
Cleon stood up quickly, eyes wide. He raced out the door as quickly as possible.
Gary smiled. "So who's next?" He looked around with an all too innocent smile on his face. He pointed at Henry, the man who lived the card board box. "You. You're the man allergic to water. But what you really don't realize is that the water is allergic to you."
"Wait wha—?"
"THAT MEANS CHANGE THE WATER AND YOU'LL BE FINE GAD DOMNIT! ARE YOU FREAKIN STUPID! GET A DAMN LIFE, BY GETTING OUT OF MINE!"
The man raced out of the room in tears.
Neal leaned over to Merric. "This guy has issues," he whispered. Luckily Gary was too busy laughing evilly to hear.
"You! Jolly boy!" Gary pointed to next. Owen flushed, his eyes widening. "When people say you say jolly too much, they mean it! So stop saying that damn word! And you say you lost a bet? Stop doing bets in the first place and maybe you won't loose them. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Wow…" Owen said; though he didn't move.
"And you emo girl! If life sux them make it not suck! It's that easy."
"Do you dare speak to me that way mortal!" Mikelle yelled darkly at the man. She stood up and walked towards him. "Never dare speak to me that way again!"
"What are you going to do? Eat me!"
Mikelle smiled maliciously, showing pointy teeth. "Exactly." Then Mikelle ate the evil therapist. "Yum."
The court girl died of a heart attack and from saying like way too much to be healthy. Kel, Neal, Owen, Faleron, and Merric walked out of the room over this whole therapy thing. It wasn't a good idea anyway, it was boring. They decided to go fishing for weird things in Lake Contains Weird Things instead. Meanwhile, Mikelle had finished eating Gary, and was planning world domination with her best friend Heartdamoose.
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Lol…wow that was kinda weird. Sorry bout the slow update. Review and I'll give you an edible cookie tasting moose!
Replies:
RetartedMonkeys: holy crap that was a long one…yea poor toe. Hey I used ur idea. It seemed good enough and I couldn't think of anything else. Wow ur gifted in the art of writing nonsense. One time I ate a pumpkin when all of a sudden a kangaroo popped up and poured acid rain all over my shoulder making it green and rabbit smelling. Wtf are you on girl? Yea teletubes…THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL!
Tolkienkook: I'm glad you love me (not sexually…I'm glad for that). Henry is my brother. Not the Henry in this chap. The toe Henry. Glad ya like. Keep readin'!