Bittersweet

Chapter Two

"Truth"

"Aubrey."

"Jeremiah." I acknowledged, nodding. "I went to the cemetery."

"Oh, God, Aubrey, you didn't know..." Bobby sighed.

"No. What happened? Wh--How? I--" I couldn't even finish my sentence. I looked down, sighing, thinking.

"C'mon," Angel said, "Let's talk inside."

Shot. Right outside. Hardly fifteen feet from where I sat on the steps. Jack. Maybe I should elaborate on my history with the Mercers, mainly Jack. We used to date. But he moved away, and so did I, and we just lost whatever we had. We moved on. I don't think I ever stopped loving him, though; deep inside he always had my heart and we both knew it. We shared the best parts of our lives together, growing up, whether at that point we were lovers or just friends. Inevitably my best friend regardless of our relationship at the time, and regardless of distance or lack of contact. Now he was gone. Just like that. And I didn't know. This whole time I had gone on, thinking I should call him sometime, just to chat. But I didn't. If only I had been a good friend, and called, I would have found out. I knew he was still in Detroit. I knew Jack. I knew he would stick around with the family for a while at least. So I would have known to call here.

Not like it would make a difference. He'd still be dead, Aub. Dead. Dead, and never coming back. There can never be any new moments, and the ones I held in my memory seemed too few, too blurry, and left me longing for more. There would never be anymore late night phone calls, just because we knew we could call at any time, and the other wouldn't mind, they would just be happy to talk to you again. No more laughs, tears, no more holding the other for comfort. Never would there be another night, whether nights of intimacy, or cuddled up, sleeping. Everything came back in a sudden rush of bittersweetness, and I felt overcome by sorrow. I breathed deeply, silent tears resilient to stop pouring out. "Aubrey?" Bobby asked, snapping me back to reality.

"I miss him...But...I'm thankful he died so...nobly, so strong. He was, ya know...strong."

"We know."

"I can't believe he's gone. I mean, I just...thought..well, I never thought about..ya know, death. But...I don't even know."

"So..." Angel spoke up. "How long will you be in town?"

"Uh, there's a flight going home tomorrow."

"And where is home?"

"A little place outside of New York called..uh..suburban..New York.."

"So soon." Jerry commented.

"Well, I gotta get back there. My job, and...well, anyway..."

"What? You got a boyfriend back home? Cuz if it's about that whole you-and-Jack thing, it don't matter, you can say so.."

"No, no it's..it's nothing..just..my job..friends..family..."

"Oh, alright. Where you stayin'?"

"Well, as I recall, Jeremiah, Detroit wasn't exactly the biggest tourist attraction. Finding a hotel should be real easy."

"Well, you can stay here if you want." Bobby said, almost eager to have me there.

"See? Real easy."

"Haha. Well, I gotta head home to the wife and kids. See you later, guys. Real good to see you again, Aubrey."

"You too, Jer. Send my love to the family."

"Oh, I will. G'bye."

"So..Angel, whatever happened to Sofi?"

Bobby did this snort-scoff thing, and I just had to smirk at that. "Oh, we're engaged now."

"Oh my God. Congratulations."

"Yeah, so it took you, what, six years of on-and-off,-and-on,-and-off,-etc. dating to finally commit to each other. So Aubrey you should be getting your invitation in the mail in about, oh," Bobby looked at his hypothetical non-existent watch, "approximately seven years, five months, and thirteen, no, fourteen days."

"Nah. He'll be shot by that time. Probably by the bride, too."

"Haha, I don't doubt that. She's got quite the temper on her."

"You're one to talk, Bobby. So, Angel, she comin' around anytime soon?"

"Probably. Now, who's makin' dinner? I'm thinkin': take-out." Angel suggested.

"Now, the question is," I said, "Pizza, or chinese? Or burgers?"

"Pizza." We all decided, simultaneously.

"Mmm...I forgot why I left this town...the pizza is good enough reason to stick around."

"But chances are you'd get shot." Angel, if you were wondering.

"Yes, but the cheesy pizza-y goodness would put me at peace. Now, only if it had magical healing abilities, then I wouldn't have to worry about getting shot. Just rub some pizza sauce in my wound, maybe a bandage made of pizza crust..Yum.."

"You're insane."

"But that's why you love me. Or, you guys love me in spite of it..I don't know..whatever.." After a few hours of catching up with the boys, I was feeling the jetlag. I decided to stay in Evelyn's room, since it was closer to the top if the stairs, and I was tired. But after maybe an hour of bobbing in and out of consciousness, I felt like I was in the wrong room. I went into Jack's room, looking around, remembering, and falling asleep in his bed. Now this felt like home. It felt right, being here. Being in a room where so many things happened. This was my best friend's room. It still is, and no one else's. God, I miss him. I imagine if he was still alive, he'd drive past the cemetery, see me, and we would go out for lunch, catch up, talk about family and relationships and friends and jobs. He'd have found a nice girl, and I'd meet her. She'd be real nice, and good, even though I'd want to hate her (for no apparent reason since Jack and I were past that; but still, unfortunately, I'm that type of person). I do love Jack. Just as a friend. He was my first love, and I suppose it is true that they never really leave you. Just that the whole thing was complicated. Sometimes we'd be together, sometimes just friends, sometimes friends with 'benefits', as they say. His room held his scent. Warm, familiar. I should've come back sooner. But I figured it was not the time for blaming myself for the past things I couldn't change even if I had the chance.