AUTHOR: trista groulx (the dustytiger)
DISCLAIMER: kim, faith, fred, joey, bobby, jimmy, bosco, davis, sully, none of these characters are mine, i'm just borowing them to play with them for a little while, they belong to their creator and the actors and actresses who portray them, i promise i'll be gentle, don't sue
RATING: PG-13 tops currently
CONTENT: kim/faith friendship, fred/faith divorce, kim/bobby r, faith/bosco sex/ust SPOILERS: 32 bullets and a broken heart (missing scene/continuation)
SUMMARY: Kim and Faith become friends after they share their heartaches that Valintines day.
AUTHORS NOTES: things are starting to get back to normal 'round the work scene, i'm happy hehe... i've got about half of the last chapter finished but i'm not really sure how long before i get there, hope you're still digging this! hehe
Just after Kim had gotten Joey onto the bus, she received a call. She picked p the phone, and was not at all surprised to hear Faith's voice on the other end on the phone.
"Hi?" said Kim.
"Hey, it's me," Faith replied. "How are you doing today?"
"Pretty good, you?"
"I could use a before work coffee, or whatever it is you can drink now, for some girl talk."
"All right, sure. You know I'm always up for a good gab session."
"Thank you so much."
"When do you want to meet?"
"As soon as you get over there?"
"That urgent huh?"
Faith laughed, nervously. "Yeah, kind of."
"I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Thank you, Kim, I really appreciate this."
"What are friends for?"
"Later then?"
"Yeah, bye."
Kim hung up the phone, and went into the bedroom. She crawled into the bed, and kissed Bobby lightly to wake him. He wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close.
She giggled, but pulled herself away from the sweet embrace.
"Bobby, while that would be really nice, I just wanted to tell you I'm going out with Faith before work. I'll meet you at work before our shift," she told him.
"All right," he said a little disappointed.
"Tomorrow morning, after Joey leaves for school we'll go wild, I promise," she kissed him again. "I love you."
"I'm going to hold you to that. Love you back."
She then ran out the door, got a cab, and went to coffee shop to meet Faith. When she got there was not surprised to see her friend already there.
Kim ordered a small hot chocolate, then went to sit with Faith. She looked like a nervous wreck. Kim knew that something major had happened.
"Hi," Faith said, barely above a whispered.
"Faith?" Kim asked. "What's wrong?"
Faith took a deep breath. "Fred called last night."
"Oh." Was all she could say.
Kim seemed just as surprised as Faith had when she got the call. Both had assumed that he had slipped off the edge of the Earth since he had left about a year earlier.
"What did have to say for himself?" Kim asked after composing her thoughts.
"He told me that he's thinking about trying rehab."
"That good, right?"
"I guess, so, but he says he won't do it until I tell him if can see the kids again."
"What?" Kim could hardly believe her ears, was he actually that selfish that he would make his ex wife make that choice?
Faith looked past her friend. "He wants me to tell him to go to rehab so he can see the kids again."
"He was the one who left, the way I remember it. You didn't kick him out."
Faith nodded. "Yeah, that's the way it happened. Now he wants me to be the one that allows him back into those kids lives, so that he doesn't have to feel guilty if he does leave again."
"Are you sure that's what it's about?"
"I was married to him long enough to know that he likes having a scapegoat for when things don't go as planned. When he drinks it's because someone else made him do it. When he can't get a job cause someone promised him something and it feel through. If it's someone else who was the catalyst, then he doesn't beat himself over it."
Kim nodded. "I guess that makes sense."
"But the fact that he wants me to make the decision tells me that he's not really ready to come back, and if he thinks he is, he certainly won't stay. I just don't know what to do. He has to want to get better for himself not because I told him to for the kids."
"Then just tell him the truth?"
Faith shrugged. "I don't know, it's not that easy. If I tell him he can't come back, then I feel guilty that I'm the one who won't let the kids see him. I'm in a no win situation here. If I let him back and he leaves again, then I'll have been the one who made that happen. I don't want my kids to be hurt like that. But if by some chance, he actually does get himself better then I'm the one who took him away."
"That makes sense. What if you tell him that once he's ready to know what he wants to do you'll support his choice?"
Faith shrugged. "That could work, I guess."
"You don't have that many options here Faith. You have to think about your kids first. I know you know that, I'm just reminding you that it is the right thing to do, as another mother."
"I know. Thank you, I needed to hear that. Is it selfish to think that he'll ruin everything with Bosco and me if he comes back?"
Kim smiled at her friend. "I wouldn't call that selfish I would call it another feeling, that you're not ready to hear about just yet."
Faith shook her head. "I really can't think about having anything like that with him now."
"Even if Fred comes back into the kids' lives, it's not like he can just come back to your bed."
"I guess you're right. It's just, that, I don't know. I just have a feeling the whole thing is a bad idea."
"Then tell him that you think it's a bad idea, and it's his choice to prove your right, or wrong, or just not come back at all. You can't be the one making those kinds of choices for him, anymore. You're not married anymore, and you have no obligation to him."
"I know you're right, Kim, it's just."
Kim nodded. "You need to decide what is best for you and your kids. Fred coming back and leaving again would be far worse then him just staying away. You have to make him understand all your concerns."
"I really don't want him back. I don't even want him to call me ever again." Faith sighed.
"Eventually he might get a clue and if he does as long as your kids are still young he will have to have some role in your life."
"Ever wish you had a crystal ball?"
Kim smiled, "sometimes, of course if I had had a crystal ball to tell me how bad Jimmy was I would have never gotten Joey."
"You're right. If I had never known Fred, I wouldn't have my kids, and that would be pretty miserable. I just wish I knew for sure what he'd do in the future."
Kim nodded. "You can't do that, unfortunately. Just do what's best for those two great kids of your, cause they need you to be the strong one."
"I'm happy with the way things are right now. They love Katri like their big sister, everything's great right now. They're getting along fine in school, and with therapy. And they really enjoy their 'Bosco Nights.'"
"Bosco Nights?"
"Yeah, that's what I mark on the calendar so they know when they're going with him next. I don't want to screw that up, they all love it."
"Then don't."
"Would I be depriving them of anything, if I told Fred to get lost until he's been sober for a good long time?"
"No. I don't think you would be. If they thought you were, then they'll see another therapist, who will probably tell them that you only did it to protect them."
Faith laughed. "Yeah, I guess so. That's why I want to do that. Everything seems to be back to normal, again. We're all happy right now, I don't want to do anything to throw that balance out the window."
"Then the answer is simple, just tell him that if he's serious he has to get sober and stay sober for a few years before he cane com back."
"Thank you so much for agreeing with me on this. I just needed to get someone else's thoughts on it."
"You know I'm always here for you."
"I'm just glad that we seem to have the same train of thought on this."
Kim nodded. "If you're really unsure about it still, then go talk to you therapist, I'm sure she'd be of help."
"I may just do that. Thanks, so how are you doing?"
Kim shrugged. "I don't think I'm ever going to get used to this coffee thing."
"Can you ever have coffee?"
"I can have it in moderation, but I know that if I got a sip of it I'd pick up the pot, and pour it down my throat."
Faith laughed. "Wow, you miss it that much?"
"Yeah, so I'll just have to remember what it tastes like, and smell it brewing."
"I guess that could work."
"I like to think it will."
Faith smiled. "How's your amazing fiancé?"
"He's good, I think he's finally starting to learn that I do know my own limits."
Faith laughed. "They're a little slow sometimes, aren't they?"
Kim laughed. "For sure. But we're doing really good. Starting to talk about our wedding plans, just getting the ball rolling, you know."
"When do you want to get married?"
"He wants to get married on the one year anniversary of me getting out of the hospital, because that's the day he accepted that I was in remission. He says that was the day he knew that we really were going to spend the rest of our lives together."
"That's kind of sweet."
"Yeah, I guess so. I don't know if I want to celebrate my anniversary then though."
"I guess not, but going into remission is something to celebrate, I think"
"Plus, getting married in the fall, I always thought I'd have a spring wedding."
"Fall weddings are nice, with all the foliage, you'd have some pretty great pictures if the weather co-operated."
Kim smiled. "You know you're right on that. Maybe it's not such a terrible idea."
"But it's your wedding, so you can do whatever you'd like."
"This is true, and Bobby would let me do whatever the heck I wanted to. None of the rushed planned in month again either! I can actually have things the way I want. Oh my god! The dress I want would probably work better in the fall too!"
"Then you and Bobby had better get ball rolling."
Kim smiled. "Yeah, I guess so." She went silent for a moment. "You want to be my maid of honor?"
Faith smiled at her friend. "I'd love to."
"Thank you so much."
"Who else do you want in the wedding party?"
Kim shrugged. "Probably my sister, and of course Joey."
"Joey kind of goes without saying."
"It's good that you're talking to your sister again."
Kim smiled. "It's great. And I don't have to worry about Bobby seducing her."
Faith laughed. "Seducing her, huh?"
"Well, something like that anyway. I don't know Jimmy just has this way of getting exactly what he wants, when he wants it."
"Oh."
"Yeah, but he's been good with me of late. He won't even hug me anymore."
"Wow."
"Yeah, I know, I kind of miss it."
"It's probably somewhat hard for him to deal with, you know?"
Kim shrugged. "I guess so."
"Just put yourself in his shoes. For a while there you were coming back to him whenever you really down. Now you've got Bobby, and have made it clear that he is the past. How would you feel if someone who told you that, who you used to love, is saying let's just be friends. But still hugging, and petting you?"
Kim nodded. "You have a point there, I never thought about that. I guess it's pretty uncomfortable for him to have me acting even a little like we were before?"
Faith nodded. "Yeah, exactly."
"I'll apologize to him when I get to work."
"I think that would be a good idea. How's Joey?"
"He's good. He doesn't really like me being back at work very much, but he's dealing with it though."
Faith laughed. "He probably got used to having you home the last few months."
"Yeah, he did, he really liked it. But I need to work. It's just hard to explain to a child why you need to work."
"Yeah, I know. Mine are just starting to get the idea that money comes from doing things, not just from thin air."
Kim laughed. "Then I have a few years of him not understand ahead of me?"
Faith nodded. "Yeah, that's the way it work, usually."
"You know, you really start to learn how not crazy your parents were when you have kids."
Faith laughed. "That's for sure!"
Kim looked around the coffee shop, and saw Alex at the counter.
"If you'll excuse me a quick second," Kim said, standing up.
She went over to where Alex was, now at the condiment stand putting cream into her coffee.
"Hey," said Kim, smiling.
"Oh, hi," Alex replied.
"You wanna join me and my friend for a coffee before work?"
"Yeah, sure, I've got an hour to kill anyway, it's better then sitting at the house listening to the guys go on about their latest conquests."
"Come on over."
"You're sure your friend won't mind?"
"Naw, she's cool, she works at the station next door."
"All right. So a firefighter, a paramedic, and cop walk into a coffee shop, and they're all women.."
Kim laughed, and walked over to the table Alex followed her.
"Faith Yokas, meet my replacement and soon to be firefighter Alex Taylor, Alex meet my friend Faith."
Alex and Faith shook hands. They were at a proper table so Alex sat at one end, facing no one, while Kim and Faith were facing each other.
"You're gonna be a firefighter huh?" Faith asked the new girl.
"That's the plan," Alex said.
"Weren't you working with Bobby?"
"Yeah, the plan was that I'm was gonna replace Kim till she got back, then they'd let me try my hand on the squad."
"Multi talented. I'm assuming you have no kids then?"
Alex smiled. "Nope, I don't have any. You have kids?"
"A son and a daughter."
"Married?"
"Divorced."
"What are their names, the kids I mean."
"Emily, she's twelve, and Charlie, who's nine."
"How long have you been divorced, if you don't mind my asking."
"I don't mind at all. My husband left about a year ago now."
"Oh, with anyone?"
"Just a bottle of beer."
"Gotcha. So I'm guessing you get on Kim's back for finding Prince Charming."
Faith laughed. "Sometimes."
"It's not like you couldn't have your very own white knight," Kim reminded her friend.
"He's hardly a white knight."
"For you I bet he would be."
"Hey, I want some details here!" Alex exclaimed.
"I'm just teasing her about her partner."
"Oh, from what I've seen of him running his mouth off in the streets, I actually felt sorry for you having to deal with him," Alex laughed.
"He likes people to think that he's a tough guy. But really he's just a big softie," Faith explained.
"Especially in anything pertaining to you," Kim reminded her friend.
"I feel like I'm out of the clique here," Alex laughed.
"Here's what you need to know. Since my husband left, and especially after Kim got sick, and I didn't feel right going to her with my problems, Bosco started to be a really good friend to me. He takes my son out for some male bonding every week on his day off, every second week my daughter goes along too, and once in a while I go along with them," Faith began.
"That's really nice of him. He really doesn't come off as the kind of guy who would do something like that," Alex said.
"I know, he doesn't like his soft side getting around. He's been a really good friend to me since my husband left, and Kim thinks that I should just go for it and date him already."
"Oh."
"You forgot to mention a few things," Kim reminded her Faith. "You forgot to mention that almost any time he goes anywhere with you he doesn't look elsewhere. Up until a year ago Bosco would chase anything in a skirt that made the mistake of glancing his way. All of a sudden he's spending all his time with his partner."
"I see where you're coming from now," Alex laughed.
"Yeah, and every once in a while, they slip up a little and share a little bit more then a friendly kiss."
Alex's eyebrow crocked. "Really?"
Faith shook her head. "I care about Bosco, really, it's just that I'm still not sure if I'm ready to date again."
"It's been a year, that's usually plenty of time to get over anything, I think."
Kim smiled. "See now I have an ally."
"I still don't know," Faith replied.
"You know what might help? If the three of us had a girls night. If you're actually having fun, and flirting and what have you then you know you're wanting to date. If you're being a bump on a log the whole night, then we'll know you're really not, and we'll quit bugging you."
"I like that idea!" Kim exclaimed.
"I thought you couldn't drink?" Faith asked.
"I can't, but I can probably borrow Bobby's SUV, and be DD for the night."
Alex laughed. "That sounds like a good plan to me."
"Yeah, I could deal with that. And this way we don't have any cabbies thinking that we're beyond wasted, telling us 'no sick in my car.'" Faith added.
"Whenever one of them tells me that, I tell them to quit their belly aching, that I drive and ambulance, and have had people puke on my shoes."
"That's the worst!" Alex exclaimed. "And all you can do is stand there, and hope to hell that you don't get sick too."
Faith went a little white. "I don't know how you do it."
"How do you do what you do?" Kim asked. "It's the same thing. I mean at least when you find someone who's sick you can always call us and pawn him off."
"I always feel like shit when I make you do a transport like that," Faith admitted.
"When you think about it though, it's a hell of a lot easier to get anything out of a bus, then RMP, right?"
"This is true."
"I mean it can be a pain in the ass to clean up," Alex said. "But at least once you finish cleaning up, then the smell is gone, and you can forget that it was there."
"That's true. The few times we've had a drunk in the car, it's next to impossible to get out without a proper shampoo. Bosco usually says that the RMP smells like someone puked in a pine forest the rest of the day."
Alex couldn't help but laugh at that description. "That's nasty though."
"Yeah, it is."
"How about we change the subject?"
"That sounds like a good idea," Kim agreed.
"So why were you two here so early this morning?" Alex asked.
"Just needed Kim's advise on something," Faith explained.
"Oh."
"My ex husband called me out of the blue last night. I wanted her opinion on what she thought of the that, because she's been there for me since before he left."
"That makes sense then. Don't feel obligated to tell me stuff. I'm not nosey, if you don't want me to know then, you don't want me to know. The only thing that bugs me is if you whispered around me. Then I want to know what you're saying, cause I'm worried it's about me."
Faith laughed. "I would never do that, I think it's so rude when people do that."
"Yeah, me too," Kim agreed.
Alex looked at her watch. "Holy shit, look at the time, she should get going."
The other two looked at their watches, and sure enough it was about time to head of to their respective places of employment down the road.
"We should defiantly meet here more often," Alex said.
"We try to once a week," Faith said. "You're welcome to tag along."
Alex smiled. "Thanks, it sure beats sitting around the firehouse when I'm early, watching as the guys try desperately not to scratch themselves in front of me."
Faith laughed. "The goings on of the firehouse."
Kim shook her head. "They don't give a shit with me anymore, once they get used to you they just treat you like one of the guys."
Alex laughed, and they all went toward their respective places of employment. Kim was not surprised that Bobby was already there. She smiled at him before going upstairs to get changed.
tbc...
end notes: i really hope you all are digging the alex stuff, i thought it would be a fun little addition to the group dynamic, tell me what you think, i've got the girls night almost written, but i'm thinking of doing some b/f stuff first hehe... keep the reviews coming i love 'em!