I just all of a sudden got this kick butt question. Does Tortall have nail polish? And then I evolved the question into, what would happen if Skysong found nail polish? And then it turned into the idea of the fic. Skysong + nail polish mass destruction. Hahaha.

Without further ado…read the chapter.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Once upon a time, Skysong found a bottle of nail polish. Skysong didn't know what it was, so she asked Numair.

"Was ist das?" said Skysong speaking in clear German. However, Numair was did not know what German was, and therefore took it that she was speaking…some language that he didn't know. Which was true. Because there is no Germany…yet. Hahaha.

Anywho, Numair gave Kitten an odd look. "Why, Kit, that is a lamp."

Skysong hit her head. Stupid mage.

Skysong elegantly flipped the mage off Russian style, and sneakily peed all over his good boots.

Now, if you are to learn anything from this chapter, it is that dragon waste is highly flammable and forms a chemical reaction when put with black robed mage boots. So, of course, Numair's shoes started to bubble.

Numair was confused, for bubbling is something that most boots don't do.

It was just then that Kitten tripped over a lit candle.

Numair burst into flames and cooked to a crispy crunchy…thing. And thus the saga we all know as McDonalds began (no, I'm serious).

Kitten took her precious bottle of nail polish and walked away.

"Prima!" she exclaimed energetically.

Kitten went into the bathroom and opened the bottle of nail polish. She snorted at the scent and glared at the bottle. It must be some sort of torture device, she thought intelligently.

I shall destroy it!

But then she noticed that the nail polish was a cool swirly color of hooker pink. She took the cap and painted the polish all over her claws. And her hands. And her tail. And her face. And…well…you know what I mean.

To put it simply…Kitten looked like a wanna be hooker dragon who had just discovered nail polish.

The people at the Roof of the World laughed at my odd comparison as Kitten walked out of the bathroom holding the sacred bottle of nail polish in her hooker pink claws.

"Oh dear Kitten!" exclaimed a shrieking nightmare-worthy voice from the door. Daine…the mental wild mage thingy…walked up to her. "What did you get into?"

Kitten gulped. Oh no! It was the girl who stole her from the cave and made her chill with mortals! She's come to steal my nail polish as well! Nooo!

"So ein mist!" Kitten exclaimed protectively.

Daine frowned. "Stimmt nicht, Kitten! Was ist loss? Ich finde du gut! Was ist loss?"

"Wait a second," said Kitten. "You can speak German too?"

"Well yeah," said Daine. "I'm a native."

Kitten frowned at that. "Das ist Stimmt nicht! Du kommst aus Norway!"

"Nein, mein Schnuckiputzi! Ich komme aus Deutschland (Germany)!"

Kitten stared. Why the hell did she just call her cutey-pie?

Kitten had had enough of that. She killed Daine with her fire breathing abilities and flew away on her magical Mercedes.

Ah ha! Now Nail polish and me will be together forever.

But then, she dropped the nail polish.

Clumsy little dragon.

It fell on an old guys head and he died of confusion, and just because he was old anyway.

Fifteen lives and seven concussions later, Kitten finally reunited with her nail polish.

But then it fell down a gutter.

In Kitten's anger she breathed fire down the gutter. She was obviously very pissed.

Now, the IFDSS (Institute For Doing Stupid Stuff) decided that that day would be the perfect day to empty the sewage system of all water and replace it with gasoline, dry paper, and peanut butter.

The whole entire world blew up, except for Kitten who laughed because she was immortal and couldn't die. Hahaha.

Now the gods were rather angry that some looser dragon blew up their world and they put Kitten in jail. And then they decided to make another world, this time called moose planet.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It's not really that funny I know, it's mostly just a bunch of ramble that I felt like doing because I felt like it.

Hahaha.

Replies:

Music nerd: Yeah…I was pretty random that chapter. This one too, eh? Lol.

Tolkienkook: Yeah…mostly the last chapter and this one are just random things I felt like typing because I was bored. Hey, you're a trombonist too! Awesome! Well, it's good to find more then one girl trombonist in the world. Hoorah. Time to celebrate.

Note: All of you guys need to read next chapter, I have something really big up my sleeve. In fact, it is so big that it can't even fit in my sleeve. How 'bout that?