Disclaimer-Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong. He didn't own FOP, and neither do I.
Authors Note- Today is Australia Day, which means I get a holiday, which means you get a new chapter, which means we're all happy. Yay! (Or as happy as we can be in these times). Plus I really don't like this chapter, but I don't think I can do anything to make it better.
Timmy rushed in the door after school one afternoon.
"Whoa, slow down sport," said Wanda. "You're making me sick."
"Oh, sorry Wanda. What do you want me to do?"
"Just leave me down here Timmy. I'll be feeling better in no time."
"Well, okay," said Timmy cautiously. "Do you want us to stay here with you?"
"No sweetie, I'll be fine. I just need a second. You two go up to your room."
"Okay Wanda." Timmy placed her carefully on the couch, and thundered up the stairs with Cosmo.
"That day was great Timmy!" said Cosmo enthusiastically.
"It sure was Cosmo!"
"Hey twerp!" screeched Vicky's voice up the stairs.
"Oh great, I forgot Vicky was babysitting this afternoon," groaned Timmy.
"Twerp, if you don't come down stairs in one minute, I'm going to start destroying your stuff! Starting with this pink school bag!"
"Wow, you really like pink stuff Timmy!" said Cosmo.
"I do not have a pink school bag!" insisted Timmy. "It's just Wanda."
They looked at each other for a few seconds before it sank in.
"Wanda!" they exclaimed, and Timmy pelted out of his room and down the stairs. He was just in time to see Vicky rip the school bag in half with an evil laugh.
"Too late twerp," she said as she threw the two halves into his arms.
Timmy looked down at the remnants of his godmother in shock and dismay. Wanda…gone… He slowly turned around and headed back up the stairs, speechless. Vicky was also surprised. She didn't know the twerp would be so attached to a stupid bag.
Timmy walked slowly into his room, holding Wanda gently in his hands.
"Timmy, where's Wanda?" Cosmo asked from the fishbowl.
"I…I think Vicky killed her," he whispered. He showed Cosmo the two fragments in his hands.
"That can't be possible," said Cosmo. "She can't be dead."
"Cosmo…look at her. I think we have to face it…Wanda's gone."
"No, I mean, Wanda can't be dead. That wouldn't be enough to kill her." Timmy looked down at the two halves in his hands and, sure enough, they started to quiver gently, then Wanda suddenly poofed up to float dazedly next to him.
"I hate it when that happens," she said, shaking her head to clear it.
"Wanda…I…I thought you were dead," stammered Timmy.
"Timmy, it'll take more than that to kill me," said Wanda with a grin.
"Told you," said Cosmo smugly.
"But Wanda…your baby…" he looked at her stomach and noticed it was flat and back to normal. "Vicky killed it…Wanda, I'm so sorry…"
"Timmy, fairies aren't as easy to kill as you think. Babies are more vulnerable, but you're forgetting I have magic."
"So, then, is the baby okay?" asked Timmy.
"Sure it is," said Wanda. "I just put it somewhere different."
"Where?" asked Cosmo.
"Honey, could you do me a favour?" Wanda asked him. "Could you poof out of the fishbowl over Timmy's bed?"
"Okay," said Cosmo, and poofed out of the fishbowl. He was a little confused, but did what she asked him too anyway. He found that as soon as he poofed up, he couldn't fly, and he fell heavily onto Timmy's bed. "Hey, what's going on?" He looked down at himself and screamed. "AHHH! I'm fat!"
"No, you're pregnant," said Wanda calmly.
"Make it go away! Make it go away!" he pleaded.
"Sorry honey, no can do. You've just got to wait til the magic wears off."
"But Wanda, how did you do it?" asked Timmy, looking at Cosmo.
"Well Timmy, I had a close call with your parents one time. I figured there had to be a better way of protecting myself and the baby, so I talked to Dr Oyfele, and there was. I could put the baby into Cosmo in emergencies. When Vicky picked me up, I knew I was in trouble, so I did the magic."
"How long will I be like this?" whined Cosmo.
"It should last for a few hours," said Wanda, and Cosmo groaned. "Look on the bright side honey. You wanted to know what it feels like to be pregnant, and now you can!"
"It feels bad," said Cosmo, looking down at his pregnant figure. "And heavy. I can't even fly anymore!"
"No, but I can!" said Wanda gleefully, and she flew around the room just to prove it. She laughed happily. "It's so good to do be able to do that again!" She flew in fast circles around Timmy.
"Could you stop that Wanda, you're making me dizzy," said Timmy, watching his godmother.
"And you're making me feel sick," complained Cosmo, watching her fly around and around and around and around and around and around… His stomach heaved and he threw up.
"Ewww," said Timmy, but Wanda just happily cleaned up the mess.
"That would have been me, but now it's not! It's not me, I'm not pregnant, ha ha ha!" Wanda stopped flying and started laughing.
"Wanda, are you feeling all right?" asked Timmy, watching her giggling with concern.
"I've never felt better!" she said happily.
"Don't worry about her, what about me! I'm the pregnant one!" yelled Cosmo. His angry look was replaced with one of surprise and he held his tummy. "Hey, stop moving in there!" he yelled, looking down.
"Timmy, can we go and play?" asked Wanda enthusiastically, ignoring Cosmo. "Come on, let's go and do something, can we, huh huh huh? Come on Timmy, say we can!"
"Well, I guess AJ and Chester can come over and we can play baseball…" he said slowly.
"Yay!" she yelled. "I wanna be the ball!"
"I want to play too!" said Cosmo from the bed.
"Sorry honey, you can't, it's too dangerous," explained Wanda. "But you can watch."
"Dumb pregnancy," he muttered.
"I wish I had a phone to call my friends and that Vicky will watch TV and not notice what we're doing," said Timmy. Wanda granted the wish gleefully before Cosmo even had a chance to raise his wand.
She floated over to him as Timmy dialled Chester's number. "How are you feeling sweetie?"
Cosmo glared at her wide smile. How could she feel so terrific when he felt so…so…pregnant? "I feel horrible," he complained.
"Yeah, I guess you would," said Wanda, unable to wipe the grin from her face.
"Stop smiling!" he yelled. "You could at least be a little bit sensitive. I'm a pregnant woman here! I mean…man!"
"Sorry honey," said Wanda, struggling to stop looking happy. Cosmo glared at her; some wife she was being.
"This is all your fault," he said grumpily. "If it weren't for you I wouldn't be like this. If you had just been a little more careful…"
"Chester can come," interrupted Timmy as he walked over to them. "And AJ can too, as soon as he's finished doing some experiment or something."
"Yay!" cheered Wanda. "Come on, let's go outside, let's go!" She poofed the three of them outside, then started flying in happy circles again.
"You sure have a lot of energy, Wanda," said Timmy, watching her fly around.
"Well of course I do," she said, stopping momentarily. "I've been pregnant for ages Timmy. It's kind of nice to have a break."
"Nice for some!" put in Cosmo. "This is unnatural and wrong!"
"Oh, shush Cosmo," said Wanda. "You'll get used to it soon enough. And you said you wanted to help."
"What? I don't remember saying…"
"Will you two stop arguing please?" said Timmy. "Chester and AJ will be here soon, and Cosmo's got to hide somewhere."
Cosmo looked around for a moment before saying, "I'll be in that tree over there. Sitting, all alone, watching everyone else have fun. By myself. Not having fun."
"Okay!" said Wanda cheerfully. "Just keep out of trouble and don't do anything dangerous!"
"I won't Wanda," said Cosmo. He poofed himself onto a branch in the tree in his squirrel form. It's not fair I have to sit up here, he thought sulkily. It's not fair I have to carry the baby either. How could Wanda do this to me?
"Do you think Cosmo will be okay?" asked Timmy, watching his godparent with concern. "He seems kind of down."
"Oh, he'll be fine," said Wanda off-handedly. "Now come on Timmy, let's get this place ready for when Chester and AJ arrive."
"Okay," said Timmy, forgetting about Cosmo for the moment. "I wish I had a baseball bat, and glove, and ball, and bases, and popcorn!"
"Why popcorn?" asked Wanda.
"Why not?" replied Timmy.
"Okay then sport," said Wanda happily. "You wish, we'll grant! Or I will, at least."
She waved her wand and everything Timmy wished for appeared, including a pink baseball.
"Are you sure you want to be the ball Wanda?" asked Timmy, picking her up.
"Sure Timmy. There's nothing like sailing through the air after being hit for a home run! Or being ploughed into the ground, if Chester's batting."
"Right. And speaking of Chester…" The blonde headed boy had walked into Timmy's backyard, and waved. "Hey, Timmy. Isn't AJ here yet?"
"Nope. He had to finish some smart thing before he came." Timmy looked down at Wanda, who was grinning up at him. "We could pitch to each other while we wait, if you want."
Chester agreed, and the two boys practiced throwing to each other. After about five minutes, Timmy noticed his baseball had changed back to white as he threw it back to Chester. "I guess Wanda got sick of being dropped all the time," he said to himself. Then he said "Ow!" as the baseball hit him in the head.
"Yay!" cheered Chester. "I actually got close that time Timmy!"
"Yeah, you did," muttered Timmy, rubbing his head. "I think we've pitched enough, Chester. AJ should be here soon. Let's just wait for him."
"Alright. But can't we just…"
"No," said Timmy. They stood in silence for a few moments. "Want some popcorn?"
"Yes please," came AJ's voice from the side of the house, and soon he came into view. "Sorry I'm late Timmy. I was trying to fine-tune my new teleporter, and I thought it could get me here. Apparently it can't do anything except leave me exactly where I am."
"Who cares?" spoke up Chester. "Let's play ball!"
The three friends hurried to take their positions on the field; Timmy pitching, Chester batting, and AJ fielding. Timmy noticed the ball had changed to a familiar pink.
"Ready Wanda?" he whispered.
"Ready Timmy," she whispered back. Timmy wound his arm back and pitched to Chester.
Cosmo, in his tree, watched through narrowed eyes as Wanda sailed through the air, giggling madly. He took an angry mouthful of his chocolate-covered cheese; it was disgusting, yet somehow strangely satisfying.
He was angry at Wanda for dumping him with the baby and then having fun. I deserve to have fun too! he thought. He rubbed his tummy thoughtfully; it felt so weird to suddenly be so fat. And not being able to fly is a real drag. Hey, that's almost a joke! Ha ha ha! I should remember that for when someone can hear me. He sighed. Why couldn't Timmy play 'keep the pregnant fairy company'? I deserve special attention! Wanda should have realised that! I always pay special attention to her. Usually. Most of the time, anyway. And then she deserts me to play baseball with the guys. I wanna play baseball with the guys! I have to put up with being fat and the baby kicking me… I'm not a football, you little baby!...and not being able to fly and these weird cravings I get, and boy, are they weird! Wanda doesn't understand at all! She doesn't know what it's like to be pregnant! Cosmo thought about what he had just said for a few moments as he watched the progress of the game. Wanda does know what it's like to be pregnant. She was in the first place! Wanda has to put up with this all the time. That must be really hard. Maybe she deserves to have some fun. He watched as Timmy made it safe home. I'm still going to sulk though.
The shadows had lengthened as the afternoon wore on, but still the boys played. Wanda had had a blast; she had turned into the ball, the bat, Timmy's glove, Timmy's helmet, and a stray dog that had stolen the ball and ran around the yard with it. It was Timmy's turn to bat again, and AJ was pitching.
"Okay Timmy, get ready for my special super fast pitch!" he called, winding his arm in an elaborate display.
"Bring it on!" called Timmy, readying the bat above his shoulder. AJ smirked and threw Wanda as hard as he could. As soon as she left his hand, Wanda felt a jolt and an added weight. Cosmo, in his perch in the tree, felt the same jolt and the weight leave him.
"Timmy, no!" they both yelled, and Timmy realised what must have happened. Panicking and unsure what to do, his instincts and reflexes kicked in. He dropped the bat and stood in front of Wanda, letting her collide with the softest part of his stomach, and it knocked him flat on his back.
"Sorry about that sport," said Wanda with an apologetic grin.
"Don't mention it," he gasped. He lay gasping for breath, and his friends ran over to him.
"Timmy, that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen," said Chester in awe.
"Why did you stand in front of it, Timmy?" asked AJ. "According to my calculations based on velocity and distance travelled, that thing was travelling at ten miles an hour!"
"Hey, nice," complimented Chester.
"I…was practicing…new catching method," Timmy explained breathlessly.
"Well that's the dumbest method I've ever seen," said Chester, shaking his head. "I've tried it before Timmy, it doesn't work."
"And who was that shouting 'Timmy no'. I know I heard it," said AJ.
"It was Vicky," said Timmy. "She wants me to stop playing now."
"Oh, okay," said AJ. "Well, see you later Timmy."
"Bye guys," said Timmy, still lying on the ground. As soon as they had gone, Wanda poofed into her fairy form and stood over him, looking worried.
"Are you okay sport?' she asked.
"Yeah, that almost killed you," said Cosmo, poofing up next to them.
"No, I'm okay," said Timmy, staring up at the sky. "What about you Wanda. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine sport, thanks to you."
"Could you guys help me up?" he asked pathetically. Cosmo and Wanda grabbed a hand each and yanked him up. Timmy winced. "New plan. I wish I was in bed." With a flick of their wands it was done.
"Are you okay now sweetie?" asked Wanda.
"Yeah. I just need to get my breath back. And feeling in my legs."
"Speaking of legs," said Wanda with a sigh, looking down at her own supporting her weight. "It was nice while it lasted."
"Yeah," said Cosmo. "Not being able to fly is a real…I mean it's really…uhm…I can't remember how I was going to finish that." Suddenly he flew down and hugged Wanda tightly, kissing her.
"What was that for?" she asked with a smile.
"For being so fantastic," he said simply.
"Oh Cosmo," sighed Wanda happily, and kissed him in return. They could have stayed like that for who knows how long, except a pillow flew through the air and hit them squarely, sending them toppling to the ground.
"Don't make me feel sick too," came Timmy's annoyed voice from the bed. "Can I have my pillow back now please?"
After helping Wanda to stand up again, Cosmo threw Timmy's pillow back at him. Hard.
Authors Note 2-
Question: What can one person with an obsession and a lot of time on their hands do?
Answer: Illustrate their fan fictions!
You can now see (if anyone would want to) my attempts at 'art', illustrating certain moments from this story. It's not very good, it's not very bad; it's just there. I've put my Deviantart thingy as my homepage, so you can take a look if you want to. Oh, and thanks to a special three of you who have already looked and even added me to your friends lists! A slice of pavlova, damper and a lamington for you!