Authors Note: This is a fic that was suddenly inspired by…unknown forces. I don't know what made me think of this, but I think this is really good. Read and review
"Hello, Peter! Glad you could make it! Come in, its cold outside."
"Thank you very much, James," Peter says mechanically. How can you let me in your house?
"The tea is on. My word, you're cold and clammy! And your hands are shaking! Are you Okay?" Asks Lily, placing a hand on his forehead to feel for a fever.
"I'm fine thanks, just a little sick," replies the traitor, putting his hands in his pockets to attempt to hide the trembling from everyone else. I wish I could warn you, I wish I was brave enough.
"Oy! Peter! Harry's just said his first word, listen!" says Sirius flamboyantly as Peter sits down in a squashy armchair in front of the fire next to him.
"Pa'foo'!" Cries Harry, grabbing Sirius' long hair and laughing with beautiful mirth.
"Wo'mtail!" Harry cries, stretching his arms to Peter. Peter picks up Harry, and listens to the boy squeal delightedly with such happiness as to draw silent tears from Peter's eyes.
"Peter, you all right?" Asks Remus, leaning in as if to say 'you can count on me, I'll listen'. Peter doesn't reply, he just keeps looking down at Harry, a terrible sadness in his eyes. You'll never say my name again after tomorrow. And it's all my fault...you had such potential.
Remus asks the question again. This time, he gets a reply.
"I'm just thinking, Remus, with this war going on...well, I'm scared. What if this is the last time I ever get to see you, and Siri and James, Lily and Harry? What if something happened to one of us?"
"Peter, nothing will ever happen to us. You know why? Because we're all friends, and friends look out for one another," says James over his tea, "And I feel quite safe having you as a friend Peter, and Sirius and Moony."
Oh if only you knew Thinks Peter desperately, stemming the flow of tears from his eyes. This was going to be his fault; he has to suck it up.
Lily smiles at Peter from across the little coffee table they have in front of the fireplace. After several hours of reminiscence and idle chatter, Harry is put to bed. Peter notices none of this, for he is too busy thinking and bemoaning the situation he's gotten himself into.
"Its almost midnight, we need to go to bed, I'm really sorry to have to ask you to leave, we'll have to get together again. How about tomorrow? We could go over to Remus' place."
Peter wants desperately to agree, to say that Remus' place would be best tomorrow, so that maybe he could work up the courage to tell them what he's done, to let them live one more day in the bliss they've created for themselves in these dire times. Peter desperately wants them to go to Remus' where the Dark Lord won't find them for just one more day.
But he doesn't.
"I'm sorry, tomorrow doesn't work for me. Halloween, I've got to go over to my mum's and help her with the banquet she prepares every year for the family. How about the day after?" He replies, hating himself with every fiber in his body.
"That sounds good. We'll owl each other tomorrow eveningto confirm that," replies Sirius cheerfully.
They're my best friends. How can I do this to them?
Peter and the Marauders are walked to the door by Lily and James. Every single step of the way, Peter tries to convince himself to defy the Dark Lord, to tell his friends who he loves so dearly what's happened. But every step of the way he doesn't.