A Map Made in Heaven

by Ann29

Weazel has a heckuva time weaseling a treasure map from the von Bruinwalds as they travel down the road to mayhem.

4. Day 3

A Map Made in Heaven
part 4

Southern Youtah
Twistiturny Scenic Byway
Monday Afternoon
Day 3

Molly listlessly gazed out of the car window at the unvarying landscape. The breathtaking panoramas of redrock towers dotted with scraggly pine trees superimposed against a brilliant blue sky had ceased to amuse her long ago. It felt like they had been traveling down this same winding road for a hundred years. Turning from the window, she went on a quest for a new diversion.

The nine-year-old reached for her book bag that was at her feet, unsnapped the flap, and extracted its contents. First, she pulled out Lucy. She lovingly smoothed the doll's hair and dress before setting it on the seat. Then came five books. She'd already read all of them during the vacation, a few of them twice. At the bottom of the bag was a box of crayons. The crayons seemed promising, but she didn't have any paper.

Seeing the diaper bag on the floor beside her bag, she unzipped it and rummaged through it. At last, she found what she was looking for - a map with a nice blank back. She draped the map across her lap and reached for her crayons. However, instead of eight individual colors, she had a box of mushy greyish goo.

Disappointed, Molly wiped her waxy fingers on the map, whining, "Are we there yet?"

"Yeah, are we there yet?" Baloo echoed from the driver's seat, shooting an impish grin at Rebecca.

"We will get there when we get there," Rebecca replied, trying to pry Cassie's arms from her neck. "Don't strangle Mommy, Cassie. I know you're hot and tired, baby, but we'll be there in a little while. How about some water?"

"No!" Cassie shouted. The fractious toddler clung more tightly to her mother.

"Animal crackers?"

The toddler petulantly shook her head with every, "No, no, no!"

"I'll take 'em if she don't want 'em," Baloo offered, holding out his palm for the cookies.

"You're not helping, Baloo." Rebecca slapped his hand away. "Gah! Not so tight, baby." She hoarsely choked out, "Tell Mama what you want so she can breathe. What do you want?"

"I know what she wants, Mom." Molly fished around in the diaper bag until she found a well-loved teddy bear, whose dingy, matted fur had, at one time, been a pristine white. "Lookee here, Cassie. It's Woobie! Dance, dance, dance. Watch Woobie dance on the back of the seat. Isn't he funny?"

With a squeal of delight, Cassie lunged over the back of the seat to get the teddy bear.

Kit caught her before she hit the floor. "You shouldn't jump without a parachute, Cassie." He turned her right-side up and carefully put her on the seat where the toddler leaned against Molly, holding Woobie and sucking her thumb.

Rebecca massaged her sore throat. She rasped, "Thanks, kids."

"How much farther, Kit?" Molly asked. She haphazardly wadded up the map and crammed it back in her school bag along with her crayons and books. Lucy she perched on her lap.

While Kit made his calculations, Baloo remarked casually, "Ya know, if we had taken the..."

"Don't say it," Rebecca groaned.

Despite his wife's protests, Baloo concluded, "Sea Duck, we woulda been there by now."

"He said it," Kit muttered, shaking his head ruefully.

"How come we didn't take the Sea Duck, Mom?" Molly asked, observing how Kit walked the sextant across the map.

"Yeah, I'd like to hear that reason myself," Baloo said with a smug smile.

"Because then we wouldn't have all of this wonderful family bonding time," Rebecca replied through clenched teeth.

"We coulda bonded in the Duck," Baloo said, "an' not to these seats."

Rebecca sighed wearily and shifted in her seat, trying to get some feeling back into her legs. She was beginning to think that he was right about taking the airplane, though she'd never let him know that. "Just drive, flyboy."

"We're about three hours away," Kit told them.

"Three hours!" Molly cried incredulously, slumping in the seat. She planted her knees on the seat in front of her. After a few moments of silence, she asked, "Are we there yet?"

Rebecca spun in her seat to give her daughter a stern look. "Molly Elizabeth von Bruinwald, for the last time, and I do mean the last, we will get there when we get there! And if you say that again, I'll..."

Chuckling, Baloo whined like a little boy, "Are we there yet?"

First Molly, then Kit dissolved into spasms of laughter. Rebecca tried in vain to keep a straight face, but she finally joined in on the infectious laughter. Cassie, not understanding the joke, looked at them all questioningly with her big brown eyes, sucking her thumb.

A Hundred Miles Behind Them

Weazel, the pedal to the metal, zoomed up on a dark blue car going the speed limit. "C'mon, hurry it up, ya slowpoke! Some people's got a schedule to keep!" he yelled, irately blasting the horn. Without further ado, he whipped his car into the left-hand lane and into the path of an oncoming truck.

"Aaaaaahhhhh!" Weazel screamed, jerking the car to the right where he swiped the back bumper of the blue car, sending sparks flying.

The blue-haired driver of the blue car shouted out of her window, "This is no time to be playing bumper cars, sonny!"

"I ain't playin', lady! Whoa-oh-oh!" Weazel went careening out of control off the road, into the ditch where his battered black Fjord finally rolled to a stop. Steam billowed from under its hood.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Weazel got out of the car, opened the hood, and promptly was hit in the face with scalding-hot steam. Red in the face with anger and a steam burn, he jumped up and down in despair. Then, he gave the car a good, solid kick in the radiator, which promptly sent him hopping up and down in pain. "Gah!"

"What am I s'posed ta do now?" he wondered aloud, hobbling back to the driver's seat.

He didn't have to wait long.

A tow truck with "Bob Precision's Collision Repair" stenciled on the side pulled up beside Weazel's Fjord.

With a cry of delight, Weazel rushed over to welcome the repairman. "Thanks for stoppin' by, mister. My car broke down, and I'm s'posed ta be somewheres at a certain time, and I'm running late and..."

A beige sloth clad in greasy overalls slowly climbed down from the truck. Languidly, he drawled, "Well...if ya want something done the right way, ya gotta do it the Bob Precision way; that's what I always say. We'll get ya fixed up and on the road in no time."

"Great! Great!" Weazel said, glancing at his watch.

"Now, where's my toolbox?" Bob drawled, scratching his bristly chin. "Oops. Musta left it back in the truck."

Finally, after five long minutes, Bob lumbered over to the Fjord and looked under the hood. His beady eyes narrowed into a squint. "Where's my glasses? Can't see a thing without my glasses." He began to pat his pockets in search of his spectacles.

Exasperated, Weazel took the glasses from atop the sloth's head and shoved them on his nose.

"There they are!" Bob cried. "Everything's crystal-clear again, not blurry like they was. Did I ever tell ya about the time when...?"

"Yeah, yeah, old man," Weazel interrupted. He jumped up and down with impatience. "What about my car?"

"Now, don't get in an all-fire hurry, young whippersnapper. I'm a-gettin' to your car. These things take time, ya know."

"I ain't got no time!" Weazel shouted.

"Sure, ya do. We've got plenty of time. Won't get dark for hours. Hmm...let's see what the trouble is." Bob peered under the hood and clicked his tongue. "Well...looks like your sparks are firin'."

"That's bad?" Weazel said nervously, wringing his hands.

"That's good, but your radiator's overheated."

"That's good?"

Bob shook his greying head. "That's bad."

"Can you fix it?"

"Well..." the mechanic pondered, rubbing his bristly chin. He might have been a blind old coot, but one shrewd look told him that Weazel was a naive city slicker. "Yup."

After a long silence, during which Bob stared at the Fjord's innards, Weazel asked, "Today? Can you fix it today?"

Bob considered that for a long time. Finally, he drawled, "I dunno. Depends."

"On what?" Weazel screamed, his face red with fury.

"On how much your willin' ta pay me."

Weazel got out his wallet. "How much will it cost?"

Bob grinned, exposing a shining gold incisor. "How much ya got?"

Ten Minutes Later

"Thanks for the business, sonny," Bob said, thumbing through his wad of bills.

Weazel got in his car and slammed the door, muttering, "Stupid chiseling rat! Why didn't he say that all the car needed was some water in the first place? Coulda saved me a fortune." He started the car and roared away. "Alls I gotta say is that this map better be worth all this trouble."

Near Manitoo Springs, Coloradio
6:30 PM

The grey Chevrolette wound its way through the snow-capped Rock 'n' Roll Mountains. The road, which had been carved out of the face of the mountain, was sandwiched between a sharp, rocky precipice to the right and fragrant fir trees to the left. Rolling grey cumulonimbus clouds overhead indicated an approaching thunderstorm.

As the car came around a bend in the road, a large, luxurious hotel nestled on the side of the mountain loomed before them. Its light stone walls stood out like a beacon against the dark forest.

"Wowzers!" Baloo gave a low whistle. "Would ya take a look-see at that fancy-pants palace?"

"It's bigger than the high school and elementary combined," Kit added.

"I can't see!" Molly cried. "All I see is Mom's hair." She leaned over the front seat to get a better look at the hotel. "Wow! That's like Cinderella's castle. What is that place?"

"A hotel, I think," Kit said.

"Can we stay there, Mom?" Molly asked, holding Cassie up to the window so that she could see the hotel.

"No, honey. I'm afraid it's too expensive for us."

"Aw, who wants ta stay at a ritzy place like that? I'd feel like a plane who'd lost its props," Baloo said. "We gotta find somewheres where you don't gotta worry 'bout which fork goes with which food."

Watching a shining green Rolls-Boyce turn off the road in front of them onto the hotel's driveway, Rebecca sighed wistfully. For a second, she wished that she was an occupant of that Rolls-Boyce.

They drove for a few more miles until they encountered a sign by the side of the road that said: Crazy Caleb's Cozy Cabins. The sign, as well as the cabins themselves, could have used a fresh coat of paint.

"Cabins, huh? Now this is more my style," Baloo said, pulling the car onto the gravel driveway.

"Unfortunately," Rebecca murmured, remembering the posh hotel.

One glimpse of the cabins and Rebecca was against staying there. They looked like rundown shacks to her. She swore that she saw a pigeon fly from one of their windows. "This wasn't on the schedule."

"We ain't goin' by the schedule anymore, remember?" Baloo said, looking with approval at the cabins.

"Baloo, let's to go a motel in Manitoo Springs."

"Where's your sense of adventure, Becky?"

"I left it at home along with your common sense," she snapped.

"Aw, you're always puttin' too much on appearances. I bet they're better on the inside. C'mon, kids."

Everyone got out of the car, except Rebecca. She remained in her seat, her arms crossed and mouth set resolutely.

Baloo opened her door and offered her a hand out, smiling.

"We're not staying here. I don't want my children sleeping in a fire trap, Baloo," Rebecca said, disdaining his hand.

"Rebecca, be sensible, will ya? It's gettin' dark an' gettin' sorta stormy." As if to corroborate his statement, a thunderbolt crashed across the sky. "There ain't a town for miles. Do you want yer kids ta sleep in the car instead?"

Rebecca shook her head stubbornly.

"It's gonna get real cold an' wet up in these mountains tonight, Becky, an' we didn't bring the campin' gear."

She still wouldn't budge.

Baloo tried another tack. He whispered in her ear, "Them cabins got chimneys; I bet they got fireplaces. After the kids are in bed, we can curl up in front of the fireplace. Just us two. Whattaya say, sweetheart?"

Rebecca's frozen expression thawed slightly. She thought that he must have been really desperate if he was trying the romantic approach. "Oh, all right, but there better not be any rats in there." She took Baloo's hand and got out of the car. They all walked towards the ramshackle office.

Inside, a scruffy bear dressed in a cowboy outfit was leisurely smoking a pipe with his size thirteen cowboy boots propped on the desk. He tipped his ten gallon hat back on his head and sat up when the five bears filed in. A big, toothy grin spread across his face. "Howdy, folks. Welcome to Crazy Caleb's Cozy Cabins. What can I do ya for?"

"We'd like ta stay the night," Baloo replied, affectionately squeezing Rebecca's paw.

Rebecca murmured irately, "Crazy Caleb's Cozy Cabins. What a name! We're crazy for staying here."

"How much do one of your cabins go for?" Baloo inquired, hoping that it wasn't too much. He didn't feel like hearing a big 'I told you so' from Rebecca.

"Well..." Caleb took a puff of his pipe and blew a smoke ring at the ceiling, sizing them up. He charged rich people extra, but this family didn't look wealthy, so he stated the usual fee. "Ten buckaroos a night for a two-bed cabin."

"Sold." Baloo smiled at Rebecca, who, frowning, retrieved the money from her purse.

"Here ya are, folks." Caleb handed Baloo a key. "Cabin number three, an' have a nice stay." He returned to his comfortable position.

As Baloo opened the door of cabin number three, Rebecca cringed, waiting for something furry or slimy to emerge.

"This is neat!" Molly exclaimed. She took Cassie by the hand and led the toddler in to explore their home for the night.

Rebecca's eyes flew open. The small cabin did indeed seem nice. Two queen-sized beds with dark green blankets, a fireplace with two comfortable-looking easy chairs before it, a little table with folding leaves and two straight-backed chairs. Before the fireplace was a bearskin rug. It didn't smell musty or smoky. There wasn't a single cobweb or spider in sight.

"Told ya it'd be a-okay, Becky," Baloo said with a smug smirk. "Can Ol' Baloo pick 'em or what?" He plopped into one of the easy chairs with a sigh of contentment. The chair creaked and groaned and before he knew it the seat had sagged to the floor so that Baloo's arms and legs were sticking up in the air comically.

Rebecca laughed at his stupefied expression. She gently tweaked his nose. "You can sure pick them, all right."

Kit assisted his father out of the chair by tugging on his arms. They both plopped on the floor with an "Oof!"

Rebecca opened the door to what she thought was the bathroom. It turned out to be a closet, empty save for a few clothes hangers. She spun around, looking for another door. There was only the two - the closet and the outside door. "There's no bathroom!"

"Sure there is, Mommy!" Molly pointed out one of the rear windows. An outhouse was a few yards away.

"Baloo..." Rebecca murmured through clenched teeth, hands on her hips.

"Hey, I didn't know," he said helplessly. "The price was right."

"We couldn't have gone to a motel instead? A motel with running water and electricity. No, we had to rough it in this...this shack!"

"At least we're inside, Mom," Kit reminded quietly. "And it's starting to rain."

Baloo flashed an appreciative smile at his son. "Yeah, we're all in out of the rain," he echoed, wrapping a placating arm around Rebecca's waist. "An' we're all together. That's what's important, honey."

"A bathroom is important," Rebecca murmured sullenly.

"I'll get the fire started, then it'll seem cozier in here. Remember, we got a date for tonight." Baloo kissed his wife's cheek, prompting a reluctant smile from the bearess.

Later That Night
2:00 AM

Rebecca floated down the red-carpeted staircase at the posh hotel, a striking vision of loveliness in her best pink gown. Her hand lightly caressed the solid gold banister as she looked down into the chandelier-lighted ballroom below. Suddenly, she turned and called up the stairs, "Baloo, hurry up, or we'll be late for dinner!"

"Be right there, Becky!" A loud thundering met her ears, almost as if a herd of elephants was dancing overhead. From the top of the stairs, Baloo said, "Check out these threads, honey!"

What she saw made the bearess want to weep. The big bear was wearing a loud Hawaeean shirt as well as a straw hat. An orange life preserver was around his ample middle and he carried a set of bongos.

"Is this gonna wow the rich folks or not?" he asked loudly, making everyone in the ballroom stare at them. "It is time to party!"

"Oh, Baloo!" Rebecca exclaimed, watching helplessly as he pounded out a jazzy rhythm on the bongos. Tears of frustration and embarrassment flowed down her cheeks.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Icy cold raindrops splashed on Rebecca's face, waking the bearess from her dream.

"Oh...of all the dumb luck!" she mumbled. "I knew it! I knew it! I knew this cabin was a bad idea."

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

A rivulet was now running down her cheek, down the pillow, making her hair wet.

"Baloo!" Rebecca hissed.

The big bear smiled in his sleep and wrapped an arm around Rebecca, hugging her closer.

"Baloo! Wake up, you dumb bear!" She pounded on his chest.

"Huh...wha...?" Baloo snorted. "Is it mornin' already?"

"No."

"Oh..." he yawned. "Good." He scooted further down underneath the blankets, snoring softly.

"Baloo!" Rebecca whispered loudly, giving him a savage pinch on the arm. She was growing increasingly angry with each cold raindrop that dropped on her. A freezing rivulet was running down her back. "Help me move this bed!"

"Why?" Baloo murmured drowsily.

"Because I'm getting soaked, you idiot!" She yanked him by the ear so that his head was directly under the leak.

"Yeow! That's cold!" He was now wide awake.

"No kidding," she said sardonically.

"Well, ya got your shower, Becky," Baloo said with a wan chuckle.

"Can the jokes, Baloo. We need to move the bed." Rebecca crawled out of bed.

Yawning mightily, Baloo unwillingly got out of the nice, warm bed to stand on the cold, bare floor. "Okay, one, two, three, lift."

They strained and struggled against the bed frame, but it was no use. The cantankerous bed wouldn't budge.

Rebecca got down on her hands and knees. Squinting into the darkness, she could see that the bed's legs were bolted to the floor. She let out a frustrated sob. She was tired and cold and all she wanted to do was sleep. To add insult to injury, she needed to use the bathroom.

"Don't cry, sweetheart. If we can't move the bed, we'll move the mattress."

Baloo picked up the mattress, blankets and all, and set it down in front of the fireplace, the only place big enough on the floor to accommodate the mattress. "There ya go, Becky." He immediately dropped on the mattress and resumed snoring.

"My husband, the romantic," Rebecca said drily, hands on hips as she looked down at him. "No date, no snuggling, because, as usual, Count Casanova fell asleep right after dinner. I bet he doesn't even remember what today is."

She tiptoed to the other bed. By the dim light of the fireplace's glowing embers, Rebecca could see that her children were sleeping soundly in the next bed - Kit hanging off one side and Molly hanging off the other side with Cassie between them. The baby, lying lengthwise across the pillows, her thumb in her mouth, was blissfully unaware that she was hogging the bed. Rebecca carefully turned the baby ninety degrees and tucked the blanket in around her.

Then, shivering, she got into her own bed. With a sigh of disappointment, she pulled the blanket up to Baloo's chin. Here they were before a fireplace with the fire embers softly hissing. The steady pattering of raindrops on the roof made the little log cabin even cozier, but Baloo was oblivious to it all.

She was just drifting off to sleep when Baloo murmured, "Warm enough, honey?" Before she could answer, he gathered her in his arms.

Rebecca, resting her head on his chest, answered, "I am now."

"Good." Baloo smiled at her and tenderly brushed a lock of hair from her face.

Rebecca returned his loving smile. "Baloo, do you know what day this is?"

"Uh, I dunno." He shrugged. "Every day feels like Saturday this week."

"It's our anniversary."

"Oh, yeah..." He thought for a moment before saying, "Two years."

"Two wonderful years," Rebecca added, nestling against him.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Baloo asked tentatively, "Do ya ever wish that you could...ya know, leave me?"

"Leave you?" Rebecca shook her head, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Never. Murder - now that's a different story."

Baloo chuckled and gave her an affectionate squeeze.

"What about you?" Rebecca asked.

"Nah. The thought never crossed my mind more'n six or seven times. Or was that ten or eleven? I dunno. Lost count."

Rebecca playfully punched him in the stomach.

Baloo said, "Know what I learned the past two years?"

"That you have to wait until I'm asleep to raid the fridge?"

"Very funny, Becky." He gently tweaked her nose. "I learned that bein' tied down ain't so bad."

At that moment, Cassie came tumbling onto the bed, regardless of her parents.

"An' here's one of them little anchors now."

"Brr!" Cassie shivered, burrowing under the blankets face first. She turned around and snuggled up next to Rebecca, clutching fistfuls of her mother's nightgown. "Wight?"

"Not light. Dark," Rebecca said. "It's still night, baby."

"Sleepy time, Cassie," Baloo added gently. "Close your little peepers."

In compliance, Cassie squeezed her eyes shut and scrunched up her nose.

"Funny little munchkin," Baloo said, smiling at the toddler on his chest.

Rebecca sighed contentedly, hugging Cassie. She wouldn't trade all the riches of the people lodging at the fancy hotel for the happiness she was feeling at that moment. "We're all here, safe and warm."

"No pirates this year," Baloo pointed out. "No bad guys chasin' us."

"A nice, quiet anniversary," Rebecca said.

"Shh!" Cassie whispered, putting her little paws over her parents' mouths.

"My goodness, you're bossy, Cassie," Rebecca said in mock-consternation.

"Gee, I wonder where she gets that from?" Baloo said airily, prompting an annoyed glance from his wife.

"Lubs." Cassie gave both of them sloppy kisses, which were readily returned. Once again, the little bearess snuggled up to her mother and quickly dropped off to sleep.

"Lub ya," Baloo whispered, kissing his wife.

Rebecca returned his kiss. "Lub you, too." She pulled the blanket over Cassie's thin shoulders. "I'm glad we're here, out of the rain. Well, sort of."

Through a yawn, Baloo said, "Told ya my ideas were good ones."

"You got lucky, flyboy."

Baloo gazed deep into his wife's big brown eyes. "Yeah, Beckers, I did."

Somewhere in the Rock 'n' Roll Mountains

A certain weasel wasn't feeling quite so lucky. As Weazel drove along the lonely mountain pass, his bloodshot eyes peered through the pouring rain in an attempt to see the slippery road. The steady squeak and thump of the windshield wipers threatened to lull him to sleep. However, he refused to allow sleep to overcome him. The mere memory of what he had been through during the past three days fired his brain into wakefulness. He was determined that on the morrow he would be the possessor of Emperor Karat's treasure map, and he didn't care what he had to do or who he had to hurt to get it.

End of part 4