Authors Note: Well I have updated I would like to thank the Reviewers if you want to talk to me just e-mail me at anywho let us begin now
YAY go Reviewers…
Previously on The Ghost Of You: My hand slid backwards ready to slap him when he caught my arm and he asked again this time in a calmer voice "why do you cut yourself"? I moved away from him ready to run to the door when he caught my arm and he pushed me to the floor and screamed loudly his eyes bore into mine "Why do you fucking cut yourself"? I felt my hot tears run out of my beautiful violet eyes
"I...I don't know it releases stress and I… feel depressed with my life, no one loves me everyone hates me my parents think I'm a freak because I like men, what do I have to live for? Do you know how it feels to have the one man you love abuse you everyday, call you names, treat you like trash, cheat on you constantly and deny it right to your face, all I do is give and give and I get shit right back maybe cutting is what I need"
I said my head bowed my tears trickling down from my eyes the emotions I felt right now was like a large vine was wrapping itself around my heart and squeezing it very painfully, I couldn't believe I had just openly told Hiro everything. My arms itched for a knife and my head pounded horribly. I needed to get away,
As I got up to go to the door I felt two arms wrap themselves around my waist and hold me close, Hiro I felt his arms hold me tightly and he held me close his breath on my neck.
"Shuichi, I care about you I would never hurt you, don't hurt yourself please, I would do anything to keep you alive, don't resort to that" he said his voice quiet and pleading in my ear,
I pushed him away quickly his eyes filled with shock and hurt, he closed his eyes and a few tears trickled down his face his red hair covering his face. I felt my anger rise "I have nothing don't you understand? All I have is that, all I have is the blade of the knife that makes me bleed and cry".
He stood their and he said softly and quietly I almost didn't catch it
"You have me" he uttered I gasped and pulled back quickly the door in a matter of seconds away all I had to do was open it? So why was I hesitating? He moved toward me and my feet were for some reason planted to the ground.
"Shuichi don't you want me? I'll be their when you need me I'll never leave you" he uttered his lips touching mine gently, I gasped softly and I saw his red hair morph into Yuki's his eyes changed into Yuki's golden eyes and I kissed back my hands sliding over his hair
Yuki…
Our lips danced over each others in a tangled web of passion and deceit, I felt the hot lips of Yuki's claim mine that red hair was now blonde and perfect. Golden eyes locked with violet eyes, and I moaned lowly,
We separated our breaths coming out in pants he smiled and he held me close my eyes were not looking at him they were looking through him and his blonde hair fell over me, my eyes snapped open and I saw red and sighed softly in my mind as he held me
You'll never be him…
Hiro smiled down at me and I looked away "Hiro, this might ruin the friendship? I don't want to hurt you" I said softly looking away how could I be with Hiro? When all I saw was Yuki, he looked at me and pulled me close and uttered in my ear
"Shuichi I'll never leave you" I snuggled into his chest and smiled through my mask "alright lets give it a chance"
All I need is love…
I don't need him…
I'm not looking at you, I'm looking through you
I sighed in his arms and as he held me I cried in my mask I'm sorry Hiro all I see is Yuki I would stay with Hiro for the sake of Hiro so I could have someone who loved me. I climbed out of his arms and kissed him gently and headed to the washroom and looked in the garbage and smiled sadly and happily at the same time
My sweet razor how we meet again…
I moved toward it and placed it on my wrist and sliced and I sighed with pleasure each slice I take will keep me longer with Hiro, it doesn't matter about me I just want to make him happy.
I walked out pretending nothing happened as a trail of blood trailed down my wrist and I cuddled Hiro close to me as we sat in front of the TV holding each other. I closed my eyes and started to fall asleep tomorrow was another day and tomorrow was a new life with Hiro?
I only see him
I stay with you for the sake of you
Chapter 4: Have You Forgotten?
Shuichi's P.O.V
I smiled happily as I held Hiro's arm as we walked down the street but inside all I wanted to do was run back to Yuki and hold him as he stroked my head, but then I remembered the abuse did I really want to go back to that?
I felt Hiro tighten his arm around me and I looked up to see Hiro's face looking quite serious, I looked at him and felt him hold me closer and he mumbled under his breath
"Let's go Shuichi" I looked at him strangely and I released myself from his grip and I felt my back collide with another hard surface, I saw Hiro's face recoil in horror in slow motion and I turned around slowly a smile plastered on my face
"Oh I'm… Yuki" I uttered quietly I felt my body become paralyzed at the spot and my pink hair seemed to loose it bounce, his golden eyes bore into mine and I felt Hiro grab my arm and pull me away gently
"Let's go Shuichi" he said quietly I noticed Yuki's eyes soften slightly and he looked away and I saw his head bend down slightly and he uttered in a mumbled tone
"Shuichi, have you forgotten me… so easily already"? I looked back to find no one there I noticed on the ground where Yuki stood was his lighter, it was his silver one the one he usually used to light his cigarettes and I noticed on it lay the picture we had taken together.
I looked at it and I felt a few tears trickle down my eyes and my body started to shake and I held it I remembered Yuki's words they were soft but still their
"Have you forgotten me so easily already?" I closed my eyes and willed those images to go away no, no I won't remember I placed the lighter in my pocket slightly and held it close
It was all I had left…
I felt Hiro's arms tighten around me and we kept walking Hiro chatted to me happily and I nodded and pretended to be all happy and cheerful.
Hiro leaned forward and tilted my chin up and our lips met in a gentle kiss and our tongues mingled with happiness with one another,
I separated from him gently and held him close "Hiro I'm going to go for a walk" Hiro looked at me sadly and held me close "are you sure you want to go alone "I nodded happily and my legs seemed to move on their own.
I walked slowly and I noticed and sighed It was that park the park me and Yuki first met in. I noticed the air around me was cold and chilly and the trees were blowing and the leafs of the trees were scattered on the cold cement sidewalk.
I felt my arms tighten around myself and I sat myself down on the bench and I smiled sadly this was the place, this is the place we first met how long ago has it been since I've been here, Yuki are you thinking of me now?
I heard the ground shuffle and I looked up it was Yuki he was standing their looking as gorgeous as ever his blonde hair was scattered over his face and his golden eyes seemed to gleam in the sunlight he looked at me and said softly
"Is this seat taken?" I nodded no and watched him sit down every move he made was graceful like a cat he moved toward me and I looked away from him and I asked in the other direction "So…what's up?" he laughed harshly and he grabbed my shoulder and forced me to look at him
"Am I that disgusting? That you can't even look me in the eye when you talk to me" I felt his arms tighten around me and I tried to pull away but he held me close and he said it again this time a little harsher
"Am I disgusting to you"? I looked away but he held my chin tightly "answer me "
I felt my hands go slack and I uttered softly under my breath "No… Yuki your beautiful" I blushed a bright pink and Yuki smiled and pulled me forward again and he said his eyes seemed to burn with something intense
"Are you with Hiro now?" I nodded yes and I felt his arms release me and he looked away coldly and he said in a harsh tone "Forgotten me already? Did I really mean that little to you"
I looked at him my eyes shaking softly my tears trickled down my eyes and I looked away he grabbed my face and pulled me forward
"Don't cry, I hate it when you cry" he said softly his hands caressing my face gently,
"You always speak of love but yet you forget me so easily… I guess then maybe this love you speak of all the time isn't real…" he said softly and he pulled away his hands left me quickly and I grabbed his arm and pulled him forward
"Yuki please don't…" he looked at me gently and turned around and he cupped my chin "even now… you look at me with those kind eyes" he leaned forward trapping me on the bench his body hovering over mine he breathed on my skin gently I looked up and noticed his golden eyes were staring down at me "Yuki…I can't" he looked at me a flicker of regret passed over his features he pulled away quickly.
"I'm sorry how can you want to touch me after what I did and also now you have Hiro" he said I noticed the way he sneered Hiro's name and he got up quickly "I have to go now" I noticed the way he started to walk away and I ran after him gently and I felt my body fall as I tripped on a rock and my body fell on top of his and my tears streamed down my face.
"Yuki just this once will you kiss me one last time" he looked at me and his eyes sparkled and he smiled gently and pulled me forward our mouths met in a passionate kiss and our tongues intertwined. I felt my body heat up and I moaned gently and he pulled away at that one moment everything was perfect he looked away and he gently got up
"Shuichi, I guess this is goodbye" he pulled away from me and I uttered weakly "Yuki…I'm sorry" he looked back and smiled a sad smile a few tears trickling down my face his blonde hair falling over his eyes his shoulders sagged gently and he looked me in the eyes and smiled sadly and replied
"I'm the one who's sorry Shuichi" and he walked away his feet gently fading away into the distance as he walked away I closed my eyes and I could still feel his lips on mine, I could feel the love, I could feel Yuki.
I moved out of the park and moved myself back to Hiro's apartment I moved and saw Hiro lying asleep I smiled and walked to the bathroom and I found it my trusty old razor.
I held it in my hands and I sliced I moaned softly as I felt the warm blood fall out of my hand and I started to clean it up quickly and the only thing I could say was
"Yuki" every time I slept all I see is you, when I walk I see you, when I laughed I saw you, when I make love all I see is you
I moved toward the bed and lay down gently I felt Hiro's arms hold me and I moved into his embrace and as I fell asleep I saw him I saw
Yuki…
Yup end of chapter so what did you guys think? I hope you all Review looks at people reading story I need reviews to keep this alive Alive I tell yee... Any who… next chapter will most likely be from Yuki's P.O.V.