IfA/N: ok, so I admit it. Killing Ron with acid was my idea originally. I thought it would be cool. And, ok, maybe it was a little gruesome. But, as Zvezdana said in the last chapter, this is based on Romeo and Juliet. And in Romeo and Juliet, Juliet's cousin dies. Now, seeing as we don't know Hermiones cousins, we chose her closest friend. We decided that Ron was the person she cared most about (we have other plans for Harry), therefore: RON HAD TO DIE. If you want to take up the argument with Shakespeare, go ahead. However, he's kinda dead. So my advice is to just deal with it.

Chapter 8

If Only I Wasn't A Snape

Severus Snape sighed moodily as he scowled at the door across from his desk. He briefly considered pacing around his room again, before deciding instead to leaf through a few papers on his desk. He glanced at his watch and felt a pain in his temple when he realized that Draco would be arriving at his classroom soon, and he would be bringing…Granger.

He was actually starting to feel quite sick. While he realized that it was his duty to the blood in his veins to marry them, he had a sickening feeling that this marriage would end in the downfall of his favourite student and, though he loathed to admit it, the smartest witch that had ever stepped foot into his classroom.

"Bloody ancestors" he growled under his breath. "They just had to become ordained priests of the church of Luthgarric. Why couldn't they just-" He abruptly stopped his rant and tensed up when he thought he heard something approach the room. Seeing the door stay blessedly closed, he returned to his restless fidgeting. Which was a terribly bad idea, as he was taken completely by surprise when as giggling Hermione burst through the door, followed by an equally hysterical Draco. Snapes scowl deepened. Never, in his entire life, would he have though he could ever see Draco Malfoy giggle. It was a sight he wouldn't care to ever see again. Impatient with their childish ways, he loudly cleared his throat. Ugh. Stupid teenagers in love. How disgusting. And yet, it was possibly the only thing that could finally unite the Wizarding World.

How Snape hated irony.

He turned to the two misty-eyed fools in front of him, mentally preparing himself for the unwelcome task ahead of him. However, it was Hermione who was the first to speak.

"Professor , I just want to tell you how thankful I am-"

"Save it," Snape snapped, causing Hermione to look rather put out. She couldn't stand teachers berating her. "I am not doing this 'out of the kindness of my heart', nor do I derive any form of pleasure in causing you to happiness. Which, by the way will only be fleeting. However, I believe that this union will be beneficial to our entire community. I don't think you realize the amount of power you two hold. You're breaking all boundries, knocking down barriers, and creating a tie between two completely different worlds! You—"

"OKAY!" Draco cried, his normally cool demeanor obliterated. "We get, we're saviors. Now, please just hurry up." Snape turned to him and fixed him with the iciest glare he could manage. Draco didn't flinch, but he would later swear that he felt the temperature drop a few degrees.

"This is not a matter to be taken lightly!" Snape continued, ignoring Draco's uncharacteristic outburst. "I have to know that you're serious about this. You're moving at a ridiculously fast pace, and once I perform the ceremony there's no going back. This is forever."

Draco and Hermione shared a 'save me the ranting' look, before tuning back to Snape with obviously faked serious looks on their faces. Their straight-faced looks did little to hide the obvious exhilaration lingering in their eyes. Snape shuddered for what seemed like the millionth time that night.

'Young love' he thought 'how disgusting.' But, no matter how disgusting he found the subject, there was simply no way he could put off the ceremony any longer. He groped around under his desk, until he found a large, exceedingly dusty book. He threw it down on the desk with such forceful anger that Hermione started, and Draco instinctively reached out for her. Snape cleared his throat and started flicking through the tome, searching for the section on Wizarding marriages. Upon finding the vows, he began to speak in a controlled, even tone.

"Now, if we are all finished with all this teenage idiocy, we may be able to continue with the ceremony. First I'll need to know who you have chosen as your witnesses. They'll be arriving soon, I presume. Granger, I do hope you haven't chosen the Potter brat. Heaven knows I don't need anything more to make me physically sick." At that, he expected to receive a defensive remark from the witch, but all he heard was a stunned silence. When he looked at the two lovers, he saw twin expressions of confusion and dismay.

"Wha-witnesses? What witnesses? No one ever said anything about witnesses!" Draco cried, looking utterly lost. Hermione shook her head, though the action was unnecessary, as Snape had covered his eyes with his hands and was rocking back and forth. He stayed like that for a few minutes, until Draco tentatively stepped forward, and was about to inquire about his favourite professors health, when Snapes head snapped up, his eyes tightly shut.

"If you foolish young children had any common sense, you would realize that all marriages require witnesses. Now, seeing as there are obviously no witnesses present…" While saying this he looked up and glared around each corner of the room as if he were daring a witness to pop up and announce their presence. When none had, he continued. "We shall obviously have to put this ceremony off until tomorrow night, by which point you two had better get your act together. Do I make my self clear?" The two teens nodded fearfully. "Then get out of my sight. NOW!" Needing no further instruction, Hermione and Draco fled from the room, slamming the door behind them.

Frustrated that he would have to go through one more day of anxiety, yet relieved that the two were gone, Severus Snape sank into his chair, and massaged his temples. Realizing that there was only one possible cure for his problem. Reaching under the desk for the second time that night, he felt under a pile of dirty socks to find his potion.

He lifted the bottle to the light, where the words "Dillyworths Tequila" where barely noticeable under layers of dust and grime. It was obvious that he had been saving this drink for dire circumstances. Snape unscrewed the cap with slight difficulty and raised the bottle to his lips, with a silent prayer to the gods of alcohol that he would remember none of the nights events in the following morning.

A/N: so,.yeah. I'm gonna be sent to the second layer of hell for updating so incredibly late. And for having such a short chapter. Sorry, Zvezy. At least it's here now, right? And please, please, please REVIEW! It would make me very happy.