It's been days since my last shower. Days since I last fell asleep peacefully, instead of crying myself to sleep each night. Days...since...I've smiled.
I miss him more than I'd miss life itself if it ever left me. I trusted him to be the one for me. I guess I was wrong. Am I destined to this fait forever? To never have anyone to love, or to love me back. To never have any one to hold, or ever hold me. I miss the feel of his bare skin on my finger tips. I miss the way he smiles...the way he laughs.
Our...no my, room is the darkest I've ever kept it, the only thing lighting to room is a mere candle. I'm sure it looks as if someone died in here. But really some one did. I did, and am to continue this pattern of dying every day that I am away from him.
"Remus?" Dumbledore says. No I don't want this, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to anyone, see any one. I don't look towards you, and keep my face bent downward. "Everything will be fine, you'll see. This all happened for a reason. Do you understand?"
"Yes" I lie. Every things fine…I'm just being ripped out by the seems and tossed into a pack of hungry loins, I finish in silence. How could he have done this to me, to James, to Lily, and to Harry. Harry was his godson, James his best friend, and Lily a friend, how could he betray them this way? How could he hand them over to Voldemort and go off and kill Peter too. Then oh god, then he tried to take Harry. What would've happened if Hagrid had let him? Would Harry be dead too?
They are searching for you Sirius. You will be in Azkaban by night fall. And I will be alone. Again. Just what I deserve really right? A monster should never have some one to love, some one to love him back. But what you did to me is nothing compared to what you did to Harry. You ruined his childhood Sirius, you killed his parents. And now he is being forced to live with Lily's sister, her husband, and their son. The hero of the wizarding world, only one year old, forced to live with muggles who will show him nothing of our world and probably treat him like a maggot.
I shake my head unable to believe that my Sirius has caused all this to happen, but we know it has to be you. No one else knew James' and Lily's location. Oh Sirius, they trusted you with their lives. I trusted you with mine…you killed them, you killed Peter, thank god you didn't kill Harry. Why didn't you kill me? You loved them…and I know you loved me, so why do you leave me to live. To live alone.
A/N: This is a new one (obvisously) - review and tell me if I should continue with it or not - really I have no idea what should be next but I think I have a good idea. please review and tell me!