"Um, mistress overlord?" the member who found the book on the ground said timidly.

Thepresident looked from her copy of 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince'. "What is it?"

"We, uh, lost another app," the girl said, holding out The Book.

ThePrez sighed, somehow finding the willpower to put down HP book 6. "Who was it?" The way she used the past tense was telling.

"The writer. Kurt Bada."

"May his soul find peace."

"Um, mistress, don't some of them find their way back?" the girl said.

"Some times, although they come back with no memory of where they went. Most, however, are never seen again."

"Never!" the girl paled.

"Never."

The girl shuddered. She suddenly felt lucky to have resisted the urge to peak at the book when she was an applicant.

"Where do they go?" asked the girl.

"I have no idea. It must be somewhere horrible for the survivors to blank out all memory of it. I guess the rest die."

The girl stared at the book. "It's a bit overkill for a security feature, don't you think?"

ThePrez sweatdropped, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment.

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"Finally!" Peorth said, unpausing the Well, as Xellos and Death came back from a bathroom run.

In the Well, the silliness continued...

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The Cursed Log Book 1:

Kurt-kun In Konoha

by Shadow Crystal Mage

2nd Incident: Well, This Is Embarrassing...

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, someone else does (and he or she can keep it for all I care!). Neither do I own Ah! My Goddess, the Endless, Norse mythology, or Slayers.

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Uh oh, Kurt said suddenly.

Uh oh? Sakura repeated.

I think we need to pee, Kurt said.

Uh oh, the kunoichi said.

How about we try holding it in? Kurt suggested hopefully.

Good idea, Sakura agreed.

They tried it. They managed for all of twenty seconds.

It's not working... Kurt moaned.

The pain... Sakura agreed.

I think we might have to-

NO! Sakura interrupted.

I don't want to have to do it either! Kurt said. But what are our choices? Try to hold it in, risk getting bladder infection, eventually let it out and make a mess of ourselves. That would involve having to clean up, and that would involve having to wash up.

He let that sink in.

Sakura sighed. No funny stuff, she growled.

Never even crossed my mind, Kurt reassured her.

Getting off the bed- and very thankful that their legs hadn't cramped while they had their conversation- Kurt, with Sakura on board for the ride, made for the bathroom. Locking the door behind them, the boy in the kunoichi just stared at the toilet. Okay, now what?

Pull down the pants, Sakura instructed.

Taking a deep breath, Kurt carefully slipped their fingers under the waistband of the hospital pajamas they were wearing. Taking another deep breath, he pulled the pants down their legs as quickly as possible.

Now the panties.

This is just wrong, Kurt said.

This was your idea! Sakura said.

I know! And that makes it worse! Sick and wrong! Every molecule of my being is screaming at me that this is sick and wrong!

Are you sure those aren't the molecules of my being!

At this point, HOW CAN WE TELL THEM APART!

Another deep breath, and the panties were off.

You know, I never really imagined myself in a situation where I have to take off a girl's underwear, Kurt mused, glancing at said article of clothing for a moment before setting them aside with a shudder. I'd always planned to be straight, single, and celibate for life, living as a writer, getting richer than Stephen King, Anne Rice, Robert Jordan and J. K. Rowling combined. It was a simpler time...

Hey, I never planned for the first guy to take off my panties to be some guy who got sent into my head by some cursed book! Sakura retorted. I wanted it to be Sasuke after I had won his heart, and we were alone, and he would start kissing me, lower and lower, and we would end up making wild, hot, passionate-

STOP TALKING, STOP TALKING, HAVE MERCY AND PLEASE STOP TALKING, THAT IS TOO MUCH INFORMATION, OH MY POOR EARS, PLEASE, STOP TALKING!

Silence.

Thank you, Kurt said. Now what?

Pull down the seat and wipe it off, Sakura said. This is a hospital. Who knows what kind of icky disease the last occupant had!

Please don't mention the word 'icky', we're not really in a position to talk. And don't you think the hospital would have sterilized it if the last occupant had had anything contagious? Kurt said, even as he took a little toilet paper and did as he was told, hurrying as the call of nature became louder. Besides, this hospital primarily treats ninjas. Shouldn't most of their cases involve blunt and chakra trauma with the occasional burn, amputation and poisoning?

Just do it! yelled Sakura. She'd realized the call had gotten louder too.

Biting down the urge to mutter something uncomplementary about women, Kurt finished wiping, hiked up the rear tail of their pajama shirt, and sat down, holding up the front tail so it wouldn't go down between... there.

A few seconds later, nature came calling.

Aaahhhhhh... Sakura moaned in release.

Ooohhhhhh... Kurt agreed.

Apparently, some things transcended gender differences.

That felt so good... Sakura sighed.

Totally... said Kurt.

There was a pause.

Do women wipe afterwards?

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Kurt closed the bathroom door, still shuddering at what they had needed to do out of hygiene. Inside, Sakura was still blubbering.

I can't believe that... and after all that effort not to... and you still tou-

Stop it! Stop talking about it! If you don't mention it, we can pretend it never happened! Kurt said.

Unlikely. We're going to have to pee again eventually, Sakura said despondently.

ARGH! Kurt screamed as he threw them onto the bed and buried their head under the pillow. Somebody save me...

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Kurt and Sakura both lost track of time, consumed by their private yet somehow mutual embarrassment, humiliation and misery. Thus, they didn't know how long it was before someone knocked on their door.

"Sakura-chan? Can we come in?" a voice said.

Anyone you know? Kurt asked.

Naruto, Sakura said. Probably Kakashi and Sasuke-koi too.

Kurt rolled their eyes. He is not your lover.

A minor detail, Sakura sniffed. We'll be lovers eventually.

Whatever, Kurt said. Should we let them in?

I guess, Sakura grumbled. They're going to have to find out about us eventually.

"Come in," Kurt said, still finding it disturbing to hear a girl's voice coming from his mouth. You think of what to say, and I'll just repeat verbatim.

WHAT! This is your fault! You do the explaining!

How is this my fault?

There was a pause.

Never mind, I remember.

This exchange happened in the time between Kurt speaking and the door opening. One of the perks of mental conversation.

As the door opened, Kurt briefly wondered how Sakura's teammates would react when he tried to explain the situation.

At worst, Kurt mused, they'll kill us.

Oh goody, Sakura muttered sarcastically.

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After Kurt, with Sakura throwing reminders every now and then, had explained the situation, the three guys just looked at each other. Kurt swallowed, sweated, and prayed they wouldn't kill them. Inside, Sakura fervently prayed for the same thing.

"That explains it…" Kakashi muttered.

"It does?" Kurt said hopefully.

"It explains your breakdown yesterday, anyway." the jounin said.

"So you believe me?" Kurt said, feeling more hopeful.

Kakashi just stood there, looking thoughtful. Sasuke was expressionless as ever. And Naruto…

Naruto was in their face.

Kurt leaned back from the intense scrutiny the blond was conducting a scant ten inches away from their face. "Do you mind? You're in my personal space."

Naruto's eyes narrowed and he leaned closer. "Are you really some guy who got trapped inside Sakura?"

Their eyes widened.

"TRAPPED! I never thought of it like that. OH MAN, what if I'm stuck in here forever!" Kurt wailed loudly, causing Naruto to step back in fear of hearing loss.

Inside, Sakura was equally panicked.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kurt looked at Kakashi with wide, panic-stricken eyes. "Can you knock us out again? We think we feel a scream coming."

"Sakura was never given to screaming fits," Kakashi said placidly.

"I'M NOT SAKURA, DARN IT!" Kurt yelled.

"No, you're not," he agreed.

Kurt sighed in relief and leaned back against the headboard. "They believe us Sakura-san," he said. Inside, Sakura was crying for joy.

Alright, Kurt said, now that that's settled, here comes pressing concern number two: how do I get out of you and return home?

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- To be continued...

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A/N: It always happens. The one transported to another world will want to go home. No way am I staying there! It's got Orochimaru and junk!

To raikujin: thank you for the review and kind, encouraging words. Has a wonderful effect on writers. Almost as good as all the chocolate you can eat. Therefore, I dedicate this chapter to you, my first reviewer, whoever you are. I hope you will stay with this rather silly story of mine. As long as there are people reading it, I will continue it.

To: ShadowCelest117: thank you also for the kind review. I also dedicate this chapter to you, my second reviewer. Don't worry, I'll get around the pairings difficulty (it's just a difficulty, not a problem). How's Ino/Sakura/Sasuke sound? No promises though. Although you'd think the moral implications of a college guy in preteen girl's body would be a bigger issue :)

(Who knew I had it in me to make speeches? Tuxedo Mask, eat your heart out!)

If this and the previous chapter is any indicator, there's going to be a lot of Kurt-Sakura mental dialogue, and it might take a while for some decent action to come up.

momentary pause

GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER, YOU PERVERTS!

Sorry it's so short. I promise the next one will be longer.

Please review, C&C welcome. Heck, even flames are welcome. That means at least it's being read, if not liked.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.