"Fairy With a Gun"
Chapter 1 "Keep Away From Juandissimo"
Wanda paused for a moment. She looked far in the distance and mysteriously glanced at the one she knew as Juandissimo. She wondered what happened between them. Then, she felt a shaking feeling.
"Cosmo! You lame jackass!" she screamed.
"What?" He replied.
"Stop shaking me!"
Cosmo finally stopped shaking her. She peeked at Juandissimo. Everything about him was so perfect – his hair was always shiny and he was so sexy. But, as she looked at Cosmo's green stupid body, she realized that Cosmo was the one and Juan's looks weren't everything and didn't mean anything.
Juandissimo was now twirling his dark black hair through his fingers and Wanda was getting addicted to his allure even more than ever. Cosmo finally got some intelligence and realized that Wanda and Juan were flirting. (It's about time if you ask me)
He pushed between them and screamed: "What the hell? Stop fucking flirting!"
Juan angrily replied: "Cosmo, get a fucking life. Wanda was wrong to marry you and I am sexier than you!"
"You always bring your 'sexiness' into everything!" Wanda got in to the screaming fight. "Juandissimo, I love Cosmo and no one can replace him! Leave me alone!"
Juan now went insane. "WANDA! IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, COSMO NOR NO ONE ELSE CAN!" He pulled out a gun and tried to shoot. Wanda and Cosmo poofed away.
"Damn it!" Juan said to himself.
Meanwhile, where Cosmo and Wanda went off too (which was Timmy's house), they poofed up and freaked Timmy out.
"Hi Timmy!" Cosmo said.
"Hi Cosmo, Hi Wanda."
"Juandissimo is trying to kill us." Wanda said.
"Why?" Timmy asked.
"Because he doesn't like us anymore!" Wanda freaked out.
"Oh, what can we do? Any fairy can be here right now!" Timmy freaked out too.
"Juan has never been here, so he would never come here" Wanda said
"Alright" Timmy shook his head.
Back where Juandissimo was, he was growling with anger and he was beginning to look like a stick of dynamite, red and furious (and not sexy fyi)
"Damn it, why can't I find those fucking bastards!" he screamed very loudly.
"I don't know honey, try and try again" Mama Cosma screamed back.
(Now, you are probably saying to yourself 'why the hell is Juan with Mama Cosma?' Actually, I was wondering that myself.)
Later, Juan was walking around Fairy World, demanding to know what the whereabouts of Wanda and Cosmo were.
"We don't monitor the fairies whereabouts Juandissimo. This is the 200th time you asked. It's always gonna be the same damn answer! Don't fucking come back here!" Jorgen screamed.
"Fine whatever bitch" Juan said under his breath.
Wanda was struggling to put together a nifty disguise. "Nah" she kept saying to all the outfits Cosmo and Timmy picked out. (Men suck at shopping, but they shop good for beer (and maybe tampons if you pay them))
"Timmy, what color looks best on me – pink or pink?"
"I dunno ask Cosmo" Timmy said
"I won't I guess the color that looks absolutely gorgeous on me is pink."
"Well duh!" Cosmo got in the conversation.
"Thanks for all your help guys" Wanda said
"Whatever" Cosmo and Timmy said in unison
Wanda's new disguise was the same thing she already had on. Pink and more pink. Looking the same as you did a minute ago isn't a great disguise. That's how people in the Witness Protection Program are killed.