"Fairy With a Gun"
"Change of Fate"
Juan paused. He knew all the news would get out. Everyone would know. They would take away his wand and his rule book.
He was depressed, a pressed, and oppressed (whatever those last two words mean). He was so angry at ------------------------------------ his sexiness.
He had gone psycho, and psycho wasn't a good thing ---- and sometimes it was. That meant that he was psycho, and it was good. Wanda wasn't gonna die.
Crap! I just told you the ending of the story!
Moving on –
Juan looked down at himself, staring. People were staring at him and he was staring at himself. He went even more crazy.
"Oh my god! Stop fucking staring at me you bitches!" he yelled. But, there was no one there, and no one was staring at him.
He decided to go into the nearest local coffee shop and have some lemonade with coffee in it. That was his favorite drink. His favoritest, and they only one he'd ever had – ever.
He sat down, pulled out his pack of cigarettes, and lit a smoke. He gently puffed on it, and blew out passionate fake air. A waiter walked over to him and said to him – "Juandisssimo, are you going crazy?"
Juan nicely replied – "Maybe sir. Can I have some lemonade with coffee?"
"No, because you aren't in a coffee shop, you are in a bar. And I'm absolutely not a waiter. I'm Jorgen!"
"Wait a minute – Your Jorgen…….? Who the hell is that?" Juan pointed.
"Um…….your wife dumbass!" Jorgen said.
"I have a wife?"
"Yes, it's Mama Cosma. Are you going through memory loss?"
"Yes, I think so."
Later that night, Juandissimo couldn't remember anything except two things – how he wants to kill Wanda and how he is sexy. And what Jorgen told him of course.
He told Mama Cosma – "I don't want to fucking kill Wanda, I want to fucking fuck you."
Mama Cosma agreed – but only for that night.