"No, I'm not going to sniff your butt. I don't want to sniff your butt. I don't sniff Clark's butt, I don't sniff Chloe's butt, I do not sniff any of the Supreme Court butts. The reason for this is that I don't want to sniff anybody's butt. This includes yours." The Secretary of Agriculture grinned at the sound of the lecture he was overhearing from the Oval Office. His grin widened as he reflected that it was another case where a young Smallville resident had gotten Lex Luthor to jump through hoops.
After Clark and Lana, acting separately, each brought over one of the kittens left at the Talon to find good homes, Lex had instructed security staff not to admit anybody else bearing a kitten, but to give them and the animal a ride to the Humane Society. Chloe had gotten around that one by tucking the orphaned infant kitten into her cleavage and covering up with a jacket.
When she got into the mansion, she fished it out and handed it to Lex with a matter-of-fact, "Her mother, or maybe his, how are you supposed to tell with cats, anyway, got hit by a car. The others didn't make it. Dad's allergic so I can't keep her at home. She'll need bottle feeding around the clock, I figured that you could hire a nanny or something if you can't handle it. Here's a box of kitten formula. Don't let us down." By the time that Lex had realized that she had put a barely thumb-sized creature in his palm, she was gone, and he was left to bottle-feed this latest arrival. At hourly intervals.
Megaera, or Meggie, as Clark had promptly nicknamed her, hadn't quite given up on the notion that Lex could be taught proper cat etiquette, since she had had so much formative time with him. Despite his seeming incapacity to learn, Meggie was nonetheless persistent with some of the basics.
Any kitten who would sneak up on a sleeping Lionel Luthor to slobber on his beard, leaving it redolent of cat treats and giving Lex the opening to suggest that Lionel had sunk to new lows, stealing the tiny creature's treats to consume himself, was just fine in Jonathan's book.
"Let's face it, Meg, he's a rude one," he said cheerfully as he went into the Oval Office. "I've got the briefings, Mr. President." Meggie swatted at Lex as the President tried to open the briefing book that Jon dropped on his desk, making it clear that he was not yet excused from petting her, and Lex leaned back in his chair.
"Why don't you give me your quick summary? You probably put it more accurately than if it had to go through the policy people."
"Well, now that we've implemented the full-impact cost analyses, there's enough support in Congress to stop the subsidies to agribiz firms."
"That was your good work, you know," Lex said quietly, and Jonathan continued, rushing his words for an instant. "Well, showing that subsidies to the factory farms cost five times more in eventual impact than they provide general benefit isn't rocket science."
"Besides, the rocket science is Clark's area. Well, at least the scaring the rocket scientists half to death is his." Lex had just been waiting to share Clark's latest visit to one of the shuttles and Jonthan shook his head.
"At least he didn't put his foot through any of the solar panels. This time." The mental image of Superman sheepishly towing a shuttle back to safety was still quite fresh.
"Okay, so the agribiz subsidies are cleared off, how's the Sustainable Farming implementation?"
"I'm visiting the Dakotas tomorrow to drum up more support. Still a hard sell for some of the big ranches."
Lex smirked. "I've every confidence in you. Kent charm and Kent stubbornness are hard to fight."
Jonathan was proud of the fact that he'd been such a formative influence on Lex Luthor's character and taught him that scruples were vital, despite all of Lionel's lessons, both verbal and in actions. Lex knew this.
Lex was proud of the fact that he'd shaped Jonathan in one important way: Jonathan could now smirk well enough to match any Luthor. Jonathan didn't know this.
AN to thediehard: You know perfectly well that you wrote the best bits!
After Clark and Lana, acting separately, each brought over one of the kittens left at the Talon to find good homes, Lex had instructed security staff not to admit anybody else bearing a kitten, but to give them and the animal a ride to the Humane Society. Chloe had gotten around that one by tucking the orphaned infant kitten into her cleavage and covering up with a jacket.
When she got into the mansion, she fished it out and handed it to Lex with a matter-of-fact, "Her mother, or maybe his, how are you supposed to tell with cats, anyway, got hit by a car. The others didn't make it. Dad's allergic so I can't keep her at home. She'll need bottle feeding around the clock, I figured that you could hire a nanny or something if you can't handle it. Here's a box of kitten formula. Don't let us down." By the time that Lex had realized that she had put a barely thumb-sized creature in his palm, she was gone, and he was left to bottle-feed this latest arrival. At hourly intervals.
Megaera, or Meggie, as Clark had promptly nicknamed her, hadn't quite given up on the notion that Lex could be taught proper cat etiquette, since she had had so much formative time with him. Despite his seeming incapacity to learn, Meggie was nonetheless persistent with some of the basics.
Any kitten who would sneak up on a sleeping Lionel Luthor to slobber on his beard, leaving it redolent of cat treats and giving Lex the opening to suggest that Lionel had sunk to new lows, stealing the tiny creature's treats to consume himself, was just fine in Jonathan's book.
"Let's face it, Meg, he's a rude one," he said cheerfully as he went into the Oval Office. "I've got the briefings, Mr. President." Meggie swatted at Lex as the President tried to open the briefing book that Jon dropped on his desk, making it clear that he was not yet excused from petting her, and Lex leaned back in his chair.
"Why don't you give me your quick summary? You probably put it more accurately than if it had to go through the policy people."
"Well, now that we've implemented the full-impact cost analyses, there's enough support in Congress to stop the subsidies to agribiz firms."
"That was your good work, you know," Lex said quietly, and Jonathan continued, rushing his words for an instant. "Well, showing that subsidies to the factory farms cost five times more in eventual impact than they provide general benefit isn't rocket science."
"Besides, the rocket science is Clark's area. Well, at least the scaring the rocket scientists half to death is his." Lex had just been waiting to share Clark's latest visit to one of the shuttles and Jonthan shook his head.
"At least he didn't put his foot through any of the solar panels. This time." The mental image of Superman sheepishly towing a shuttle back to safety was still quite fresh.
"Okay, so the agribiz subsidies are cleared off, how's the Sustainable Farming implementation?"
"I'm visiting the Dakotas tomorrow to drum up more support. Still a hard sell for some of the big ranches."
Lex smirked. "I've every confidence in you. Kent charm and Kent stubbornness are hard to fight."
Jonathan was proud of the fact that he'd been such a formative influence on Lex Luthor's character and taught him that scruples were vital, despite all of Lionel's lessons, both verbal and in actions. Lex knew this.
Lex was proud of the fact that he'd shaped Jonathan in one important way: Jonathan could now smirk well enough to match any Luthor. Jonathan didn't know this.
AN to thediehard: You know perfectly well that you wrote the best bits!