"How are you feeling, Cub?"
The question was asked before he fully understood it.
"Ugh?"
Chewie – at least, he thought it was Chewie - smiled.
"It is good to see you're awake."
He closed his eyes again. He wanted to back to sleep. It was safe there and he probably wouldn't be the nausea.
"How are you feeling?"
Definitely Chewie. But what a question. Truth be told, he felt terrible, and the nausea was growing.
He attempted to shake his head and regretted it immediately.
"Mgonubihzic," he mumbled.
"Try again, Cub."
"I zed…'M gonna be zick...!"
He felt hands slide themselves under his back and suddenly the room was spinning.
"Ohhh Gods…" he managed, before he found himself unable to say anything at all.
His stomach cramped and he retched for a good few minutes, bringing up only bile, but the acid burned his throat and the cramps clenched every muscle in his body.
When he felt able to move again, Chewie laid him back into the pillows. He noticed that someone had clothed his lower half but that his gunrig was still lying by the bedside, as it had been last night – as far as he remembered.
"Cub…" said Chewie slowly.
Han opened his eyes and looked at him.
"What?"
"Are you aware of what happened?"
"N-No. Is Leia okay?"
"The Little Princess is well enough."
"I…I don't…geddit then…Whaddya mean? Was there an…accident?"
"You could have died."
"What?" he half laughed. "What're you talking about?"
"Your wrists, Cub."
Han frowned and lifted his arm and, turning it over to inspect it. His eyes widened when he saw it.
"What the..?"
"How did this happen?"
There was a short pause and then Han looked up at him.
"Yeah, uh, I slipped while I was shaving."
"Do not lie to me, Cub."
Han's expression deadened.
"Chewie, I swear, I remember picking up my razor and I remember shaving. Next thing I'm in my bed and you're wakin' me up."
"Is this an honest statement? You did not do this on purpose?"
"Chewie, come on. Why in all seven hells would I want to?"
-
Leia walked the doctor to the door and smiled wanly.
"Thank you for your time."
The doctor nodded.
"You're welcome. I should contact his personal physician."
"By all means," she answered. "I just don't understand how something like this could have happened."
"I am not a specialist in these areas - I am a emergency medic, not a physician - but I conclude that it could very well have been an accident, Your Highness. But I suggest you make sure that anything he needs to do in the next few days, bathing, shaving, anything like that, you accompany him for. If it is, as he has told you, only the medication making him dizzy, then your only worry need be that he does not fall while showering or undertaking similar activities. Rest and time to recover should be all he needs."
"Thank you."
Leia allowed the door to slide closed and then sighed before walking toward the bedroom.
"Chewie?"
Chewie noticed Han tense as she said his name and answered.
"He's awake, Little Princess."
She smiled as she entered the room and walked toward Han, arms outstretched.
It was only when she put her arms around him that she noticed something. When she pulled away, his eyes were closed tightly and he was completely rigid.
"Han, what in the galaxy is the matter?"
She could see that he was fighting to steady his breathing.
"I…Please, I just…Don't…I don't feel so good…I don't wanna hug, okay? I just wanna sleep."
"Oh," she said, frowning.
Han turned over and huddled a little closer to Chewie, who looked equally as surprised as she was.
-
"I'll be back quite soon, Leia. My shuttle was cancelled."
"That's alright, Luke. He's got L'Jhad coming to see him later."
Leia was about to sign off when something stopped her.
"Luke?"
"Yes?"
"Chewie said that Han told him it was an accident."
"Well I felt something last night when it happened. Allow him to rest and I'll be there soon."
Slightly reassured, she nodded.
"Alright. I'll see you later then."
Luke nodded.
"Goodbye."
-
Doctor L'Jhad arrived a short while after Luke, but Han did not wake to see them.
The only time he moved at all was when Chewie left his side to talk to L'Jhad. He stirred and groaned in his sleep, taking a fistful of chestnut fur to prevent his Wookiee friend from leaving, but once Chewie soothed him with a few soft words, he settled once more.
"You say he can't remember how he came to injure himself?"
Chewie wuffled in agreement and Leia elaborated.
"I just woke up at about two and he wasn't in bed. I could hear the shower so I went to find him."
"Are you aware of how something like this happened?"
Leia frowned and then looked back at her sleeping fiancé.
"I presume he slipped while he was shaving; he usually uses an old fashioned razor. I always said it was dangerous."
The doctor's frown deepened.
"I regret that injuries of this kind could not have been sustained accidentally."
"What?" Leia said sharply, staring at the doctor. "You're saying he did this on purpose?"
"It appears so, Your Highness," the doctor replied.
Leia stared a moment longer.
"Impossible. There's no reason he'd want to take his own life. He'd tell me if there were something wrong."
But even as she said it, Leia was not so sure.
"I told him to go to bed," Luke whispered. "Especially after he fainted again."
"What?" Leia said, looking at him. "When?"
Luke knitted his brow.
"Before I left."
Then realization hit.
"He didn't tell you?"
Leia shook her head.
"No, he just told me you'd said you were leaving and I ought to know."
Luke shook his head and stepped forward.
"Han?"
Han groaned and shivered.
"No…" he murmured weakly.
"Han, for Force sake, open your eyes."
"No…Please…"
Luke extended a hand and touched it to Han's temple. Han quieted momentarily and then his eyes flickered open.
"Hey, Kid," he said as he squinted up at Luke and then raised himself onto his elbows while he rubbed at his eyes. "What're you doin' here?"
"Han," Luke said sternly. "Why didn't you tell Leia you fainted?"
Han laughed.
"What're you talkin' about?"
"Did you do this yourself?"
"What!" he asked venomously, suddenly incredulous and indignant at the same time, thrusting his wrist into Luke's face. "This!"
"Did you do it yourself?"
"NO!"
"Han-" Luke began, stretching out a hand toward him, never breaking eye contact.
"No! Get away from me, Skywalker!"
Leia's eyes widened. 'Skywalker'?
Luke extended his senses and touched Han's consciousness with his own, probing with warm gentleness.
"Han, if you'll only let me in; I can help you-"
"Get outta my head, Jedi!" Han said suddenly, pushing himself backwards, flinching as he backed into Chewie.
Chewie growled and was about to lie him down again but, with a movement that was little more than a blur, he snatched up his blaster and aimed it, moving it whenever someone moved.
"Han," Luke said, trying to extend a force hold, but he found he could not; something was blocking him.
Han pushed himself off the bed and staggered to the doorway keeping his blaster trained on everyone – including L'Jhad – before he nodded toward the living room.
"I'm outta here. You try to follow me and you'll fry, geddit?"
They stared at him, mouths open, completely disbelieving.
Han snatched up some clothes, ducked out of the room and flung himself across the living room before disappearing out of the front door.
Once they were sure he had gone, all four of them rushed into the living room, but Luke held up a hand.
"Wait. Wait until he's into the lift. Then we follow him."
"What?" Leia shrieked. "Why?"
"Because he has a blaster, Leia."
"But you're a Jedi!" she protested. "Can't you-"
"No. I tried. Something is blocking his mind from my attempts and confusing him immensely. He has no idea how he managed to cut his wrist, and he doesn't remember fainting. He's not even completely sure of where he is."
Leia stared at him.
"Something is blocking his mind?"
Luke nodded.
"Almost as if there's something there trying to prevent me seeing."
She was about to question him further but his head snapped around.
"He's out. Let's go. Quickly."
-
He ran. He was weak but he knew he had to. If they found him they'd kill him. They'd already tried to drain him of his blood. He knew that because she'd told him so. He couldn't understand why; he didn't even know those people. But he had woken up in that strange place and that Wookiee had tried to keep him down. So she was right; of course she was right. She was the only one he could trust. She was the only one who cared.
Yes, she whispered, comforting him. That's right. You're safe now, with me. But the Jedi, he's following. He'll hurt you if you let him.
"No," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut, shaking his head. "Luke…Luke wouldn't-"
A blinding pain shot through his skull and he staggered, slowing dangerously before he regained his feet enough to run.
You felt that, didn't you? I told you he'd hurt you. Stop him before he kills you.
He turned and glanced over his shoulder.
"Yeah," he muttered. "Stop him."
-
Luke suddenly twisted and fell with a cry, as though someone had hit him full in the face.
Chewie hauled him onto his feet before Leia had even shouted her distress.
"Little One?" Chewie said anxiously.
Luke was completely pale and there was sweat on his forehead. He seemed not to notice Chewie.
"Force, no…" he whispered and took a shaky step forward. "You can't be..!"
Then he broke into a run again and hurtled down the corridor.
-
Fresh air!
Yes! Now! Escape!
"How?" he asked.
By any means you can. The speeder bike! Take it! Flee!
"I don't have the key! I can't-"
The pain, so sharp it was almost visible, pierced his head again.
There, you see? He's almost got you! Use whatever you can; go!
-
Luke, Leia, Chewie and L'Jhad stumbled out of the elevator just in time to hear the humming wail of a speeder bike and barely stepped back in time to avoid being run over.
"No!" Luke hissed, then flung out an arm toward the nearest shuttle.
It started without hesitation.
"Everybody in," he said, "and you're driving Chewie."
-
He raced through the air at the top speed he could get out of the bike. There was no way the Jedi could catch him now.
Good, the voice crooned, and he felt soft fingers in his hair. Go where you used to, Han. They'll never find you.
Those fingers felt warm, soothing, and he relaxed a little. But then he thought of something.
"But he can track me. What if they find me?"
It's alright, the voice told him. You'll just have to kill them.
-
"There, Chewie," said Luke, pointing to the streak of color that was Han. "Get close!"
The pain hit him again and he fought to ignore it.
Faster!
"I can't!" he shouted, his voice lost to the wind. "It won't go any faster!"
Then turn. Lead them away!
"Yeah," he whispered, "That might work."
-
"What in the galaxy..!"
L'Jhad failed to curtail her comment as the speeder bike in front of them veered sideways once, twice, and then disappeared into traffic going the other way.
There were several angry beeps from startled drivers on the other side of the throughway. And then Han was on the other side and tearing down a side alley.
"There!" shouted Leia, pointing. "He's gone that way! You've got to-"
"We can't, Leia: He's on a speeder bike – we're in a shuttle. We'd only kill ourselves and take half of the traffic with us. I'll find somewhere to turn around."
-
He brought the speeder to a standstill, parking it beneath one of the many trees. This was a small area, known to few, that overlooked the city and was one of the only remaining green areas in Coruscant's main metropolis.
You see? That wasn't so hard, was it? And if they find you, you only have to kill them. No-one will find out. It will be so easy, Han.
"But…I…They're my friends…"
No. They tricked you. They're not your friends. They want you dead.
"No, they wouldn't. Leia loves me. Luke…Luke and Chewie, we don't…They wouldn't…"
Did I tell you to argue?
"But-"
Suddenly, he clapped his hands over his eyes and dropped into his knees with a harsh cry.
Defiance earns only pain, Han. You'll do what I say or you'll be punished. Remember? When you defy me, the Jedi can get at you.
"Yes…"
It's alright. Get dressed, Han. It'll all be over soon.
-
Luke lurched through the trees toward the presences he could feel – he was sure there was more than one now. The rest of the party followed him earnestly.
"Han?" he called. "Han?"
He finally broke through the trees to find Han dressed but lying on his side on the soft green grass that grew underfoot. And he was weeping softly.
"Han?"
"No…" he said, shaking his head. "I don't want to…"
"Han, look at me."
Han shook his head and hugged his arms tighter about him.
"Please don't make me…"
"Don't make me what, Han?"
"No! No!"
Han turned onto his back, clutching his head in his hands, the volume of his sobs increasing.
"I don't want to!"
"Han? Han! Han, don't listen-"
Luke found the muzzle of a blaster suddenly pointing up at him.
"Run!" Han whispered, eyes wide, hand shaking.
"What?"
"RUN! Run, run, please!"
Luke took a step back and held a hand out to Leia. She took it and stepped forward.
"We only want to help you."
Han groaned and let the blaster fall from his hand, turning back onto his side.
Chewie crashed through the undergrowth behind them, roaring in distress and Han immediately flipped over and backed himself across the clearing until he was by the speeder bike again.
"Han, calm down."
Han shook his head and mounted the speeder bike again.
"You don't know. I won't do it. I can't!"
"Han, what're you talking about? Han, get off the bike. Please."
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Please try to forgive me."
Then he kick started the bike and sped off over the edge of the ridge that overlooked the city, joining the traffic below it.
"Force," Luke whispered. "Come on."
-
Why? Why didn't you shoot them? Why didn't you kill him? He's the main threat to you!
"Shut up."
What stopped you, you fool? Don't you understand?
"Shut up, you're not real."
Suddenly the voice's demeanor changed.
Oh, but I am, Han. I'm as real as they come. I can see things you thought no-one could see. I can see your childhood, I can see everything you were, everything you've become. I know everything you've been through and if you don't kill them I will kill you.
"You're not real."
I can see the first time you took a punch. I can see the first time you won a game of sabacc. I can see the first time you shot a man.
"No," he whispered, but the voice became louder even though it murmured, as though it had leant toward his ear.
I can see the first time you made love to her. I can see her, lying there, naked, waiting, and I know how you felt. I know how good it felt when she-
"Enough!"
The way she said your name, how much you wanted to touch her. You knew she wanted to touch you, too. I can see how much you enjoyed it.
"Stop it!"
It felt good to be inside her, didn't it? To watch her writhing under you, to see her face?
"Leave me alone!"
It felt good for me, too, Han. Remember? It felt good. And I'll never leave. I'll be in your dreams, Han. In your nightmares. You're mine. I made you mine. And I'm never going to let you go.
-
Luke was pale – too pale – and his breathing was harsh and shallow.
"Luke, are you sure you're alright?"
"Yes…I'm just…concentrating…Left, Chewie…"
Chewie did as Luke said and took them onto a new throughway.
-
And they haven't given up. He's still there. Can you feel him?
"Luke!"
He can't hear you. Every time he tries to touch your mind then I will hurt you. And you can't stop me.
Han ignored.
"Luke!"
'Luke! Luke!'
-
"Han?"
"What?" said Leia.
'Luke!'
"Chewie, he's going past the senatorial building. Take a right here; it's a shortcut."
-
You try to block it out, don't you? You try to forget the pain. But it isn't the pain that hurts you, is it, Han? It's knowing how easy it was for me to-
"No! No, you're dead! She killed you!"
Only my body, Han. And you remember my body, don't you?
-
Luke looked earnestly out of the window, and saw the little blur of his best friend weaving in and out of traffic.
"Get us closer. I've got to try and reach him. Leia?"
Without being asked, she took his hand and they both closed his eyes.
"What are they doing?" L'Jhad asked Chewbacca.
Trying to reach the Cub.
"Ready?" Luke whispered.
Leia nodded.
"Yes."
"Chewie, can you still see him?"
Yes.
"Alright. Han?"
-
The pain began again and, in some desperate, almost primal attempt to escape, he kicked the bike, hard, and soared upwards.
-
Everyone in the shuttle suddenly had to crane their necks to see him, almost loosing him as he joined overhead traffic, which was going the other way. With a roar of determination, Chewie hauled the shuttle around and up until it was once again on the same level.
"Han?" Luke said again.
-
A spike of pain so concentrated it was like a flash of light pierced Han's skull and obscured his vision. He let loose a short, involuntary cry, fell forwards onto the handlebars as consciousness slipped from his grasp, and dropped.
"HAN!" Leia screamed as she saw the speeder bike plunge.
Luke held out a hand and tried to steady the bike.
"Oh, no," he murmured. "I can't reach him!"
"Try harder," Leia begged him. "Please!"
Luke shut his eyes and held his hand out again, sweat beading on his forehead and running down his face.
"Come on," he whispered. "Come on!"
"Yes!" Leia said suddenly, watching as the speeder bike leveled out again.
But her hopes were soon shattered.
"Luke," she whispered. "The traffic's going the other way!"
-
Han's eyes opened and the first thing he realized was that his head was throbbing. Then he heard a noise blaring through his consciousness, the ache in his temples flaring up again at the sudden stimulus. Next came the realization that he was still moving.
Then he saw the oncoming hoverbus.
"Oh, shit," he whispered.
-
Leia watched, unable to believe, unable to move, as the hoverbus and the speeder bike impacted. She saw Han's body leave the bike as it shattered and tumble upwards, strangely limp, over first the windshield, then the roof of the hoverbus and hang for a moment in mid air as momentum kept him up.
Then he plummeted toward the ground level of traffic. They were almost too high to see him, but see him they did.
He hit a hovercar on the way down that carried him along, and then another hoverbus once he reached the ground. This one slammed on its brakes, too late to avoid him, and propelled him forward where he bounced, hit, rolled, and then lay completely still.