Leaning in the doorway of her office John watched Elizabeth doing paper work. He loved watching her, watching all of the endearing little habits, her unconscious quirks that presented themselves, especially when she wasn't aware she was being watched. He could tell that whatever it was she was reading had her in deep thought by the way she softly chewed on her lower lip and her eyebrows scrunched together slightly.
Lips curving, he recalled that morning, how he had woke before her and, like now, indulged in his desire to watch her, to gaze down at her breathing body lax in sleep and utterly angelic under the gentle arc of the early morning light. The early morning light had swept across her contours and cast a warm blush across her face and neck, and over the soft rise of her shoulders.
She had gained most of her weight back over the last year, she was still thinner than John would have preferred, but she was at least no longer skin and bone. There were still times that her memories of Arcadia impeded her daily functioning and left her a mangled emotional mess, sometimes for days. Because of this, John had handed over command of AR-1 to Major Lorne and taken on a more administrative position in Atlantis. Being there for Elizabeth was John's top priority and if that meant taking a desk job then so be it.
Elizabeth trusted John to love her and to be patient as she shifted through the turmoil reaped by Jerick and his men. He did love her and he strove to be patient, riding out the ebbs and flows of her ability to receive affection, but pushing gently against her boundaries with the understanding, proven hundreds of times over, that he would not hurt her. And she knew that – not only knew it, but believed it – trusted in it, had faith in his intentions towards her and loved him unconditionally and without hesitation.
Her eyes – eyes that had the ability to speak into his very soul, to communicate more to him in a glance than she ever could with words, to melt his defenses and leave him breathless; eyes that had spent the past glorious year mesmerizing him – studied the report in front of her intently. Smirking as she shuffled through various papers John pushed off the doorframe and moved into the room, clearing his throat to announce his presence.
Glancing up Elizabeth smiled at him before returning her attention to the paper work. Coming to stand behind her John gently started massaging her shoulders. "What'cha doin'?"
"Inventory." Elizabeth sighed leaning back into John's hands. Even though she'd been cleared for full duty months ago Elizabeth was still trying to get back into the swing of things. She'd forgotten how exhausting – as well as tedious at times – the job could be.
He pressed a consolatory kiss to her temple and smiled inwardly as she leaned her head forward in a silent request that he move to massaging her neck. Obliging he rubbed her neck, "What do you say we get out of here?"
"I like that idea." Slowly Elizabeth stood up and turned to wrap an arm around John's waist. Draping his arm over her shoulders John kissed her temple again then led the way out of the office.
Instead of heading for the transporter like she'd expected John headed for the balcony. John had something he needed to do and felt that the balcony where – in his opinion at least – this whole emotional roller coaster had started for them nearly four years ago was the appropriate place to do it; bring everything full circle.
Taking hold of her left hand John reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. Not having the words to properly express his love for her, to express everything she made him feel John didn't say anything just slid the ring onto her ring finger. Gently cupping her face he tenderly kissed her before pulling her into a loving hug.
"For when you're ready." He whispered into her ear.
Knowing that John wasn't expecting a response Elizabeth sighed with contentment as she slipped her right arm around John's waist, and rested her head and left hand against his chest. Watching the sunset she relaxed into his comforting hold, letting the love that radiated off of him engulf her like a warm blanket.
'What did I do to deserve you?' Elizabeth thought silently.
John had to be the most patient, understanding, and loving man she'd ever known. She knew it couldn't have been easy for him at times with her mood swings and everything else she'd put him through over the last year. She loved him for how patient he had been with her, how patient he continued to be with her. She would never be able to repay him for the patience and love he had shown her.
God, she loved him so much.
She couldn't believe how patient he had been with her especially when it came to the physical aspects of their relationship. While they'd gradually become more and more physical with each other over the year they still hadn't made love with each other, not since Arcadia. John had shown considerable restraint in their blossoming relationship and Elizabeth knew it. She knew how much John wanted her, how much it was driving him nuts not to make love with her; she also knew that he would never push her into anything no matter how much he wanted her.
She never missed the disappointment mingled in with guilt that would flash through his eyes whenever she tensed up, telling him with her body language that things were going to far. She'd wanted so badly to take that step in their relationship, but just the thought of having sex – even if it was with John – terrified her and she didn't know why. She'd spent many sessions with Kate trying to figure it out, but still didn't have any answers. She knew John would never hurt her, but something still held her back.
Standing there on their balcony in the safety and comfort of John's arms Elizabeth stared at the ring he'd just given her; it wasn't fancy or big but it was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever given her. In that moment Elizabeth knew with out a doubt that no matter what happened, even if things never progressed beyond where they were now, if they never made love again, John would always be there by her side, that he loved her unconditionally.
With that revelation came the revelation that the thought of having sex again didn't terrify her like it once had. Making up her mind Elizabeth pulled out of John's arms, taking his hand in hers. "Let's go home."
Seeing the way she was looking at him suggestively with lust filled eyes John's eyebrows shot up questioningly, not sure if he was reading her intent right or not. Nodding her head at his silent question Elizabeth gave a shy smile, suddenly feeling a bit insecure. Smiling John kissed her tenderly, before resting his forehead against hers. Pouring every ounce of love he felt for her into his eyes John gazed into Elizabeth's eyes.
Seeing the pure love shinning in John's eyes Elizabeth smiled seductively, giving John the most breath taking and passionate kiss he'd ever had. "I love you."
John grinned he'd never heard sweeter words spoken. He returned the kiss, "And I love you."
Fingers intertwined the two left the balcony headed for the quarters they'd moved into together a month ago. Elizabeth knew that what they were about to do wouldn't be a cure-all, wouldn't make all of her demons go away, but suddenly things didn't seem so insurmountable any more, it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The knowledge that John loved her unconditionally and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her no matter what happened, made Elizabeth feel like she could face anything and come out on top.