Archivist's Notes: This, like many other items dating from Pres. Luthor's
administration, does not have a fully documented provenance, but does have
a story associated with it. The story states that the author, a high-
ranking NASA official, kept this journal for his or her private purposes,
but that Pres. Luthor gave the owner a considerable sum to release this
material to the National Archives, though permitted the expurgation of any
material that would identify its authorship.
The incumbent Archivist's opinion, based on internal indication, other documents, and certain memorable encounters with Pres. Luthor and Clark Kent, is that the explanation makes perfect sense and that the staff under Pres. Luthor had so much to cope with that they never would have had the time or inclination to make anything up.
Extracts from document 11837560245
Sept. 19. A difficult day for human relations management. Mr. Kent was in the construction room and a crane snapped while lifting the side of the new rocket. THE IDIOT CAUGHT IT WITH ONE HAND! Of course, the impact meant that it crumpled and had a huge hole where his hand went through, instead of landing on the ground with less damage from more distributed impact. Had to talk the staff out of painting the walls bright green with sparkles. Difficult when I wanted to tell half of them to go get the paint and the other half to go get rollers and brushes.
Sept. 23. Increasing effort required not to let Kent guess that almost everybody in NASA knows that he's Superman. He's not stupid, in fact, he's fairly intelligent, but if he hadn't elevated cluelessness to an art form AND a lifestyle, he'd have guessed months ago. He's the zen monk of clueless.
Sept 29. After huge scare yesterday (still shaking too much to write about it), instituted new policy. All staff required to wear highly-concealing, baggy clothing and cover hair when Kent comes anywhere near the fuel storage areas. Mandatory safety precaution.
Oct 1. Luthor has his good points. A group of microcephalics was wandering around, saw new safety precaution in action, decided NASA was staffed with Muslim women and transvestite men, expressed outrage. Suggested they talk to Pres. Luthor and called VP Ross on emergency "Kent's done something" number. Ross perfectly happy to ask Luthor to see them and have cats present. Can still hear screaming and "get them off!" Good day. Heck, good day overalls. (I'm so funny.)
Oct 4. Now calm enough to describe the incident. Kent was being conscientious, dammit, and inspected fuel storage area when Dr. Linbao Li walked by in very short skirt. Dr. Li, as noted earlier, features in dreams of approximately 60 percent of NASA staff, as determined by lunch table survey. If Alvaro hadn't had quick thinking to hit sprinklers, we'd all be floating around as little bits of ashes, except for Mr. Superman, of course.
Oct 6. Took extreme measures to restore morale. Staff unanimously wanted to send suggestion to Kent for a huge meteorite exhibit covering entire Smithsonian Mall, drawing from the late Lionel Luthor's collection. I'm not saying that he's a bad administrator or that the staff dislike him, just that frustration levels mount every now and again. The thought of his face when he reads it reduced staff to helplessness and frustration to negligible.
AN: Thediehard's active imagination produced much of this!
The incumbent Archivist's opinion, based on internal indication, other documents, and certain memorable encounters with Pres. Luthor and Clark Kent, is that the explanation makes perfect sense and that the staff under Pres. Luthor had so much to cope with that they never would have had the time or inclination to make anything up.
Extracts from document 11837560245
Sept. 19. A difficult day for human relations management. Mr. Kent was in the construction room and a crane snapped while lifting the side of the new rocket. THE IDIOT CAUGHT IT WITH ONE HAND! Of course, the impact meant that it crumpled and had a huge hole where his hand went through, instead of landing on the ground with less damage from more distributed impact. Had to talk the staff out of painting the walls bright green with sparkles. Difficult when I wanted to tell half of them to go get the paint and the other half to go get rollers and brushes.
Sept. 23. Increasing effort required not to let Kent guess that almost everybody in NASA knows that he's Superman. He's not stupid, in fact, he's fairly intelligent, but if he hadn't elevated cluelessness to an art form AND a lifestyle, he'd have guessed months ago. He's the zen monk of clueless.
Sept 29. After huge scare yesterday (still shaking too much to write about it), instituted new policy. All staff required to wear highly-concealing, baggy clothing and cover hair when Kent comes anywhere near the fuel storage areas. Mandatory safety precaution.
Oct 1. Luthor has his good points. A group of microcephalics was wandering around, saw new safety precaution in action, decided NASA was staffed with Muslim women and transvestite men, expressed outrage. Suggested they talk to Pres. Luthor and called VP Ross on emergency "Kent's done something" number. Ross perfectly happy to ask Luthor to see them and have cats present. Can still hear screaming and "get them off!" Good day. Heck, good day overalls. (I'm so funny.)
Oct 4. Now calm enough to describe the incident. Kent was being conscientious, dammit, and inspected fuel storage area when Dr. Linbao Li walked by in very short skirt. Dr. Li, as noted earlier, features in dreams of approximately 60 percent of NASA staff, as determined by lunch table survey. If Alvaro hadn't had quick thinking to hit sprinklers, we'd all be floating around as little bits of ashes, except for Mr. Superman, of course.
Oct 6. Took extreme measures to restore morale. Staff unanimously wanted to send suggestion to Kent for a huge meteorite exhibit covering entire Smithsonian Mall, drawing from the late Lionel Luthor's collection. I'm not saying that he's a bad administrator or that the staff dislike him, just that frustration levels mount every now and again. The thought of his face when he reads it reduced staff to helplessness and frustration to negligible.
AN: Thediehard's active imagination produced much of this!