The Meeting Concludes

And the winner was...

Tsunade! The new shinobi poster girl!

"Hmm, I think there may be a problem," Gai noted, "Hokage-sama's unlikely to pose for a photo shoot."

"No, but, I have an idea. I'm not just a writer but also an artist! I illustrate my own books you know." Jiraiya took out a blank scroll, a brush and a pot of ink. He quickly sketched Tsunade looking seductive. The three other men panted heavily over the drawing but each added a critique.

"Her boobs should be bigger!"

"Her shirt should be cut lower!"

"She needs to look more slutty!"

"Bigger boobs!"

"No, bigger!"

"No, even bigger!"

"Less clothes, more cleavage!"

"Sluttier, more sluttier!"

"Yes! This is coming out quite nicely." Jiraiya made the necessary modifications and recopied it on a fresh piece of scroll with a rather unsteady hand.

"I wish I could get a girl who looks like that," Iruka sighed, "but less of a bitch of course."

"You can if you follow the advice in my books." Jiraiya was now ready with his sales pitch again. "Besides the advice, even if you can't get a girl they're…er…good company. In fact, in some ways, they're better than an actual woman. No bitching and nagging!'

"Uh, actually I already have a copy…I just don't have it with me." Iruka's face turned red again despite just recovering from intoxication. He actually had the entire Icha set.

"You're a super writer! I want your autograph" said Gai as he took out his copy of Icha Icha Paradise from his inner vest pocket. 'Know thy enemy or rival. This is for research on Kakashi.'

"Yeah, uh me too. When's the next book coming out?" Ebisu also had the entire Icha set, bookmarked, indexed and crossed referenced.

'I knew it! Based on my sales figures in this village, 1 in 2 adult males should have a copy!' Jiraiya thought happily, and then proclaimed,"So all of you really are men! All right gang, follow me to Otafuku where I know the most beautiful available women…"

-...-...-...-

Epilogue:

Before retiring for the day, Shizune dropped by the conference room to find all the men gone, leaving behind spilt sake bottles, broken cups, and a pile of unfurled scrolls on the floor. There were two scrolls on the desk that she assumed were left for the Hokage. After cleaning up the mess, Shizune took the scrolls and left them on Tsunade's desk.

The next morning Tsuande unfurled the two scrolls that lay on top of the other scrolls and books piled haphazardly on her desk. One appeared to be some notes from a meeting. It was nearly illegible but she could make out something like "white, hair, hairdresser…rebound…" and a table of what looked like names and numbers.

Then she unfurled the next scroll and saw the hand drawn picture. The woman in the picture looked suspiciously like herself. She was leaning forward, with unnaturally humungous, exposed boobs, seductively crooking her right index finger. On the bottom was the slogan "We want you!"

Tsunade clenched her fists and her teeth. The veins started popping out of her head, and due to the stagnant bloodflow, her face turned bright red.

The scream "JIRAIYA! YOU'RE SOOOO DEAD!" could be heard in the next building and beyond.

-…-…-…-…-…-

-...-...-...-...-...Personality...-...Looks...-...Body...-...Total

Shizune...-...-...6/8/7/8...-...6/8/6/7...-...6/6/6/6...-...80

Suzume...-...-...6/8/8/6...-...6/7/7/6...-...6/7/7/6...-...80

Anko...-...-...-..8/5/5/5...-...7/7/7/7...-...9/9/9/9...-...87

Kurenai...-...-...7/7/7/7...-...8/8/8/8...-...8/8/8/8...-...92

Anbu Girl...-...-8/8/8/8...-...8/8/8/8...-...7/7/7/7...-...92

Dog Girl...-...-..7/7/7/7...-...8/8/8/8...-...7/7/7/7...-...88

Tsunade...-...-..5/5/5/5...-...10/10/10/10...10/10/10/10...100

-…-…-END-…-…-

Author's Notes: Hope that wasn't too stupid! Well, it probably was but I hope it was at least amusing. For more stupidity, or less, please leave a review.

For something more serious and intellectual, I'm working on an update of my Kakashi psych profile.

Complete for now, unless I come up with something for the young kunoichi that's not too pedophilial, or incorporating how to correctly do an average using mean, median or mode.