Notes from the Archives
President Luthor was nicknamed President Professor (a full collection of these nicknames is pending) by members of his Cabinet, due to his tendency to deliver brief lectures, primarily of a literary or historical nature. Most of these were verbal and impromptu, so not preserved except anecdotally, but some of them were captured, particularly those which the President illustrated from his collection of security videos or ones which Cabinet members recounted in email to other close colleagues. This, like similar reports, takes its title from the email heading of the most detailed descriptions.
Luthor Water Balloon War
Clark, you missed a great story. Your mom wasn't there so Lex let his hair down when he and Bruce were talking about protecting Navy ships from air-based piracy.
So this was early on, when Megaera was just barely six weeks or thereabouts. Lex was trying to get the Deadly Hairballs from dragging stuff onto his Alexander bust and thought that he'd come up with a great strategy. He got all these balloons (you do NOT get points for guessing what color) and made them into water balloons and put them all around and on top of Marble Man. Allie and Tiss ignored him, except for smacking him when they saw them, but Megs had a different idea. She poked and prodded and tapped at them, but cautiously, no claws or anything, and Lex was starting to think it wasn't going to work. Then she jumped on top of one of them and pop, you have one wet kitten. Lex was just about to throw himself a party when all of a sudden, your mom came in and Meg ran to her, literally crying. Lex didn't think he was going to survive.
So Bruce deadpanned that at least the Navy wouldn't have a problem filling the balloons, and things got pretty weird from there.
Chloe agrees, by the way, that Bruce has really got to share his toys and if he doesn't, she'll have all her Gotham contacts make it a front-page question: Bat Boxers or Bat Briefs? He's running scared, man.
AN: The Diehard bears responsibility in this fic.