Title: Vignettes

Genre: General/Angst

Pairing: None…well, Raven/Melchior perhaps and then maybe Raven/Beast Boy

Summary: Raven reflects on her feelings in the aftermath of "Spellbound."

Disclaimer: Raven and the Teen Titans are not owned by me.

Author's Notes: I considered making this a song-fic to the song "Sway" sung by Bic Runga, but the lyrics interrupted the flow of the story, so I decided not to. But, I did listen to "Sway" while writing it, and I think both the tone and lyrics of the music match the mood of the speaker.

I realize there are so many stories out there with this same premise, but I think that's because the show kind of hurried through any sort of satisfying conclusion concerning Raven's thoughts. Plus, the ending to this episode gives Raven/BB shippers hope, and I know I was upset that the Raven/BB moment was cut off (with a sock ball, no less!). But, just to note, it's not really the Rae/BB thing I'm addressing here. Oh, and another thing, I don't actually remember how the ending dialogue between BB/Rae went, so I made it up. If it happens to be what happened in the cartoon, then that's great.

As always, REVIEWS and CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM welcome.

Part 4

Heartbroken

It had been too perfect an offer, and in her haste to obtain the love and acceptance she desperately craved, Raven had blinded herself.

And, so, for the first few weeks after her rather bitter "break-up" with Melchior, the emotion Raven felt most was not despair or anger or emptiness…but the far-more-dreaded feeling of stupidity.

Not that Raven didn't feel despair or anger or emptiness—oh, those she definitely felt—but whenever she felt any of these emotions, it inevitably led to Raven feeling stupid.

Stupid.

Do you promise you'll still be here when I wake up?

STUPID.

You don't want to be alone.

No.

STUPID.

I don't want to be alone.

Poor blind Raven. Poor lovesick blind Raven.

Poor, lovesick, blind, stupid, CREEPY Raven.

How daft she had been to take something Beast Boy had said so personally.

How Melchior must have laughed at her, and how incredibly foolish she felt knowing that he had been able to find so easily her greatest weakness and her deepest insecurity.

And, yet, their relationship had started out as a beautiful thing.

I wish there was just someone around here who understood that I was different. Someone I could talk to. Someone just like me.

And, he had answered her desperate prayer with a promise that he was the same as she. That he was someone to confide in. That he was the one who would deliver her from her loneliness just as she would be the only one to deliver him from his.

To be wanted and accepted by somebody. To be needed.

Oh, he made her feel wanted and loved, and that belief in his want of her allowed him to manipulate her.

No one manipulated Raven of Azarath.

And, since he had, that just made Raven stupid.

Stupid and selfish.

Selfish.

Her love and reliance on him had made her selfish. Even when he had taken over the Tower and tried destroying everything in sight, all Raven's thoughts had been were not at how her stupidity had endangered her friends or city but how her stupidity had jeopardized herself and her emotions.

And, the thought that, in the midst of her mistake, all she had thought about was herself made her feel…well, like an egotistical idiot.

Selfish and empty.

Empty, empty, empty.

Empty room, empty life, empty heart.

A knock at the door jolted her into reality.

"Raven?"

Another knock.

"It's me."

Raven rolled her eyes. Only Beast Boy would be so pompous as to knock anonymously on her door and introduce himself simply as "me". She rose from her position on the bed, but stopped a few steps from the door and considered the option of ignoring him.

The knocking stopped, replaced by a moment of silence, and then:

"Look, I'm sorry…"

Raven couldn't stop herself. "Sorry for what? You're not the one who…"

"No." Beast Boy interrupted. Raven snorted. "I'm sorry that he…that he broke your heart."

Beast Boy waited patiently for her reply, but when nothing came, he started to turn away from the door dejectedly.

Beast Boy sighed as he waited another few moments. He understood Raven's pain; at least, he could relate to it. And, so he had come with the intention of saying something, anything to let her know that he understood how she felt, that she was not the only one with those feelings of hurt and pain and rejection inside her.

And now…

He said what he came to say, and now it was time to leave. He only hoped Raven would get his meaning.

Before he could even take a step away, the door slid open.

In what seemed a surreal moment, she flung her arms around the green shape-shifter.

"I know it was a lie, but he was the only one who made me feel that I wasn't creepy…" Raven admitted, feeling childish. She tried to figure out some way to compensate for her awkwardness. "…and don't try to tell me that I'm not creepy."

"Okay…"

A/N: Anyway, as I've said before, I really would like to improve and shape my writing style, so any REVIEWS or CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM would be great (or email me at: triandrusicewing at Thanks!

Lyrics to "Sway":

Don't stray, don't ever go away

I should be much too smart for this

You know it gets the better of me…

And there's no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired

My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon

Sometimes

When you and I collide

I fall into an ocean of you

Pull me out in time

Don't let me drown, let me down…

Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you