"Great timing. Dinner's on the table." Ray kissed Chris hello and nudged her towards the dining room. "You can stay?" Not waiting for an answer, he turned from Harm and Mac, leading the way. "How'd it go?"
"Fine. At least, I think so," Harm chuckled, thinking Ray would have made a good CO. Somehow refusing his request felt as though they might be disobeying a direct order. Mac smiled in agreement.
"I'm thinking of buying a house," Harm continued. "I realized that my apartment isn't really suitable for a little girl, and the sooner I find something, the better. That's why we're late. We stopped to look at a few places."
Ray's sister and brother-in-law were already seated at the table and helping Chris settle in. Chris hadn't stopped talking yet.
"Her name's Contessa, and her tail is so soft, and her one foot shakes just like Thumper!" Chris reported happily to her aunt.
Looking up at Harm, Shelly Stevens grinned. "Sounds like everyone had a good time." Turning back to face Chris, "Did you like staying with the Commander?"
"Uh huh, but I fell asleep on the Colonel's couch. I was a little scared when it was so dark and I had to go potty, but I found the Commander, and he showed me where it was. Then he turned on the kitchen light so I wouldn't be scared again. The Colonel and I got to make pancakes for breakfast. The Commander loves pancakes just as much as you said mommy did." Glancing at her grandfather, Chris paused a moment to take a bite of food, unaware of the silly grins on all the adults faces at her youthful exuberance.
"I liked the Colonel's house. She has nice cowboy pajamas. Can I have cowboy pajamas too, Grandpa?"
"Well, if we can find some in your size, I don't see why not." Ray was delighted with how everything was working out, and yet, at the same time his heart was slowly breaking at the realization that these moments with his granddaughter would soon be fewer and farther between.
"It's okay if we don't. I can always sleep without anything like the Colonel." Chris took another bite of food.
Harm's eyes flew open wide, while Mac on the other hand closed hers tightly willing away what she just heard.
A heavy silence fell on the room making it almost impossible to breathe, never mind think.
Looking suddenly puzzled, Chris asked, "How come you had them on when you and the Commander got up to turn on the light and tuck me in, but you didn't have them on when I came into your room before breakfast? Were they itchy? I don't want them if they're itchy?"
Mac's eyes were open now, and she was positive her face was beet red. She had absolutely no idea what to say, and was horrified at the thought that Ray might think she and Harm were blatantly carrying on in front of his young granddaughter.
"Well..." Mac turned to Harm, too embarrassed to face the other's at the table.
"Um..." Harm added.
"No one likes to sleep in itchy pajamas," Mrs. Stevens chimed in, thoroughly amused at Harm and Mac's obvious discomfort. "Maybe we should just stay with your Cinderella nightie?"
"Do you wear nighties, too?" Chris turned to Mac.
Still searching for her voice, Mac finally found the nerve to look up. Noticing the sly grin on Mrs. Stevens' face, she heard herself answer, "Sometimes, honey. Sometimes."
Harm was carefully studying Ray's expression. He was stone-faced and serious. It was apparent to Harm that Ray hadn't found the same amusement at Chris' indiscreet commentary as the Stevens' had.
"Did you sleep in your pants, too? Or did you put them on for breakfast like the Colonel?"
Harm didn't think this conversation could get any more embarrassing. Boy, was he wrong!
"Usually, I sleep in shorts, but it's not polite to let other people see what you sleep in, so I put my pants on for breakfast." It wasn't a lie. He usually did sleep in his boxers. He just didn't see the need to explain to everyone why he wasn't wearing them last night.
"I guess that's why you held the sheet up so high? Do you sleep in shorts too?" The last question was directed at Mac.
Mortified, all Mac could do was nod her head and mumble, "Sometimes." Could this conversation go down hill any further? Suddenly a rush of panic shot through her. Good Lord, what if she hadn't closed the door before tucking Chris in. What if the little girl heard or, God forbid, had seen more than she should have? This conversation could be only the tip of the iceberg. God help her, Mac had completely lost her appetite and was close to losing what little she had just eaten.
"Sweetie, we shouldn't talk about what people sleep in at the dinner table." Mrs. Stevens pressed. This conversation was snowballing out of control, and she wasn't interested in doing storm recovery.
"Why not?"
"For the same reason you don't sing at the table. There are just some things you don't do," Ray explained.
"Oh, another 'because' rule."
"That's right," Ray affirmed, his expression a little less tense.
"A because rule?" Harm ventured to ask.
"There are some things we have to do, even if they seem silly or stupid, just because everyone else has to." Ray explained sternly.
Harm nodded in understanding, thankful the 'because' rule was saving his six.
After dinner, Fred Stevens excused himself claiming he had some business to tend to before retiring for the night, and Shelly volunteered to help Chris with her bedtime routine. Harm found himself alone with Mac and Ray in the living room under heavy scrutiny.
"Allow me to explain," Harm started, taking a firm hold of Mac's hand.
"Please do." Somewhere deep down Ray recognized that all parents have sex at some point or other with their children in a nearby room, but for some reason he just felt this time it was just plain inappropriate.
"I had no intention of spending the night at the Colonel's, but when Chris found out Mac wasn't spending the night with us she got visibly upset, almost scared." Harm pondered that for a second. He had been so relieved at Mac's immediate offer of assistance that he hadn't given any more thought to why Chris seemed afraid to stay alone with him. Shaking off the thought, he refocused on reassuring Ray without heaping any more embarrassment on himself or Mac.
"When Mac offered to come spend the night too, Chris was immediately happy again. We needed to go to Mac's apartment to get some of her overnight things. While we were packing her bag, Chris fell asleep on the couch."
Ray watched Mac carefully as Harm spoke. He had noticed Chris was developing an unexpected attachment to Mac. He wasn't sure if this was just a natural desire for a young girl to have a mother figure, or if Chris was somehow transferring her affections for her grandmother onto Mac. He was going to have to give this some serious thought.
"We didn't want to disturb her so we stayed at the Colonel's. In the middle of the night Chris seemed a little startled at being in a strange place, but we showed her the potty, tucked her back into bed on the sofa, left the kitchen light on and waited until she was soundly asleep before returning to bed."
"You waited until she was asleep?"
"Well, yes. She seemed a little frightened. Neither of us thought is would be good to leave her alone and scared in the dark." That seemed awfully obvious to Harm. Surely, Ray didn't think he was that incompetent at fatherhood. Or was he thinking that Harm was so horny he wouldn't care about his daughter? Good grief, that's it! Ray must be thinking Harm was putting his own sexual desires above his daughter's best interest. How could he possibly explain to Ray what a unique and special thing last night was? Sighing heavily, Harm prayed for wisdom.
"Then she didn't actually 'see' anything?"
"Of course not!" Harm hadn't meant to raise his voice, but he was slightly offended at the implication.
"I thought as much when she didn't know what you two were wearing under the sheets. Still, didn't it occur to you that refraining from normal adult activities might have been more prudent under the circumstances?"
"Sir, sleeping in the same bed is not a normal activity for Mac and I. We've had to share quarters before, often under very adverse conditions, but we haven't been carrying on. Yes, our relationship is taking on a new direction, a more serious direction, but I assure you it is not my intention to be carousing carelessly around my daughter. I would have liked to think you would have learned at least that much about me by now. She and Mac both mean too much to me."
"I have, Harm. I just had to be sure." Ray smiled for the first time since they'd sat down to dinner.
"I hadn't intended to announce it quite this way, but..." Pulling Mac closer to his side, "Mac and I are getting married."
"Now, I see." Ray had to admit if he'd been waiting years for someone like Sarah MacKenzie, he might have been a little indulgent too. His smile shifted from reassuring to an almost impish grin. Yup, definitely would have indulged, too.
Chapter 22"What's that they say about 'the mouths of babes'?" Harm turned on the ignition and slowly pulled away from the Stevens' home.
"I'm just glad she slept through the night. I couldn't have handled a four year old's perspective on what else we did last night." Mac rolled her eyes and dropped back against the headrest. What a night!
"I suppose I'll need to make sure there's a good lock on the bedroom door." Harm glanced over at Mac, a huge grin plastered on his face. He still couldn't quite believe last night had really happened.
"What do you think of that last house? The master bedroom had a nice lock on the door." Mac turned her head sideways grinning back at him. Just thinking about what he could be thinking was making her warm all over.
"I actually liked it. How about you?"
"I did too. Nice big rooms, lots of light, tons of extra space with a finished attic and basement, and we won't have to invest in a swing set. You know, now that Mattie has gone back to live with Tom, the way they have the attic fixed up for teenagers would not only be really great for when Chris grows up, but for when Mattie comes to visit."
"That's true, and Mattie loves to play pool. Do you think they'd be willing to sell us the pool table?" Harm was quickly forgetting the fiasco that dinner had been.
"You never know. Let me see that paper." Mac grabbed the stack of sales flyers off the dashboard. "Wheeeeew," she whistled. "Maybe we should have looked at the price before we looked at the house."
"That bad?"
"Maybe." Mac looked over the paper some more. "We don't have to offer the asking price."
"I doubt many people do, especially now that the economy is somewhat sluggish."
"Somewhat?" Mac shook her head. It was a lot of money, but it was a really nice house.
"Keep in mind, I can sell the loft. It's worth at least three times what I paid for it nine years ago. I've also got a little bit of money put away."
"Me too," Mac added.
"Do you really like it?" Harm stole a glance in her direction.
"I don't know. Maybe it was the love of the family living there now. Maybe it was Contessa..." Mac chuckled softly, "but, I really did like it."
"Well, if we can't make the numbers work on our own, I can always call Mom and Frank," Harm shrugged.
Mac nodded silently. This was absolutely amazing. Just a few short months ago her life was falling apart. She'd been diagnosed with a fertility stealing disease. The man she was trying to build a new life with, as difficult as that was, had been killed and then selfishly reappeared. She was targeted by a hired killer, and now, the one man she had always been in love with had asked her to marry him and share his child. The one she could never give him. Blinking her eyes harshly, Mac almost expected to wake up from this dream, home and alone.
"Penny for your thoughts? Or does inflation make it a dollar?"
"I love you." Mac shifted a bit and dropped her hand on Harm's knee.
He hadn't heard her say that often yet. Her voice sent waves of warmth rushing everywhere in his body. The sound of those words was something he was sure he'd never hear enough. "I love you, very much. I always have." Dropping his hand on hers, they rode the rest of the way in silence.
It had taken a little haggling, but after several days back and forth, and with a little extra help from Trish and Frank, they were finally able to settle on a price that everyone could live with.
Harm had put his mother off as long as he could, but now that he was a father, engaged, and buying a house, there was nothing Harm could do to stop her from visiting.
It had been almost three weeks since they first saw the house. Thankful for the light Sunday morning traffic, Harm and Mac arrived at the airport at 0830 hours. Trish's red eye had arrived exactly on time. Her luggage on the other hand was flying somewhere over Missouri, or was it Malaysia? The charming person behind the counter hadn't made up her mind yet.
"See to it that my luggage is delivered to this address when and if you locate it." Trish dropped a card with Harm's address on the counter.
"She seems to be taking this inconvenience rather well," Mac whispered in Harm's ear.
"That's what worries me," Harm whispered back, leaning closer to her ear.
"Okay." Trish rubbed her hands together, "Now that we've settled that. Where is my granddaughter? I need to teach her the fine art of shopping."
"Aha. I wondered why you weren't bothered they'd lost your luggage." Harm shook his head slowly and grinned at Mac. "Mom's a champion shopper. Give her the smallest excuse and it's like shooting a starting pistol. She's off and running."
"You haven't answered me, dear. Where is Chris?" Linking her arm with Mac's, Trish began walking towards the door with a huge smile on her face.
Harm noticed Mac momentarily tense at the unexpected gesture. He then saw his mom's other hand pat her reassuringly.
"You're going to call me Mom, not Trish. I always wanted more children." Trish winked at Mac. "So, where is she?"
"She's at her grandfather's. They're expecting us any time now," Mac answered, much more relaxed.
"Does she know I'm coming?"
"Yes, she's actually excited," Harm shrugged.
"Well, don't look so surprised," Trish chuckled. "You'd be amazed how many people like me." Shaking her head at her son, she tightened her grip on Mac's arm and strode in front of Harm, full speed ahead. "Come on, slow poke. Get the lead out," she called over her shoulder, pleased at hearing Mac giggle beside her. She'd waited years for this. She was going to thoroughly enjoy every minute of it.
Three hours laterPentagon City Mall
"Has your mother always had this much energy?" Mac took a long sip of her almond latte, delighted for the chance to rest her feet.
"I don't know. I usually avoided shopping with her." Harm stretched his neck, exhausted from hauling all the bags around. "I'd have thought you'd be up to the challenge, that marine training and all. You are feeling alright?" Harm teased.
"I'm fine. Just worn out. Shopping with your mother isn't exactly part of boot camp training." Mac let the sides of her mouth curl up in a sly grin. "Did you notice that the sales lady at Nordstrom's was actually calling your mother Mrs. Burnett? You have to do mega shopping for them to pay attention to your name."
"That sounds like a legitimate description of Mom." Amused at the thought of his mom the 'mega shopper', Harm reached over to take Mac's hand. "She's waited a long time to spoil a grandchild. Maybe just this once we can let her go overboard? Later on we can lay down the law."
"You're just an old softie." Mac squeezed his hand.
"That wasn't what you said last night..."
"Harmon Rabb, you're incorrigible!" Mac smacked his arm, convinced she was flushing several shades of red.
Leaning over to kiss her, Harm was startled by the sound of a clearing throat. Still leaning into Mac, he turned his head sideways and looked at his mother with one eye.
"Here are a few more bags, dear." Trish flashed her teeth. Holding onto Chris with one hand, she handed Harm the new packages with the other.
"Let's see. This makes a department store, two dress stores, a toy store, a shoe store, and the chocolate shop. Have I left anything out?" Harm teased his mother placing the bags next to the already mounting stack.
"Harmon."
"Yes, mother." He feigned being properly chastised. A humorous glint shined in both their eyes as they momentarily relived any number of incidents from his childhood.
"Would you like something to eat, or drink, or would you like to shop some more?" Trish bent over to ask the grinning little girl.
"No, thank you." Chris' attention was wandering off behind Trish.
"No, thank you, you're not hungry?" Trish turned her head to see what had caught the little girl's attention. "Do you like books?" Her eyes were carefully scanning the Barnes and Noble store front.
"Yes, Ma'am." Chris turned her attention back to the nice lady.
"What if we leave these two party poopers here and you and I go looking in the bookstore?"
Chris' face lit up for the hundredth time that day as she shook her head yes.
"Those two are never going to tire." Harm rubbed his eyes, resigned to the idea that the mall might become his new home away from home.
"Surely, she must have some limit on her credit cards," Mac suggested. Understanding Harm's patronizing glare, "Okay, maybe not. Might as well bunker down for the duration," she laughed.
It wasn't long before Chris came rushing back, literally dragging Trish behind her.
Harm glanced up at his mom with one raised eyebrow.
"Okay, so maybe I'm a little tired, but it's worth every minute." Trish returned her son's ardent stare before turning to Chris. "Show them what you got, honey."
"It's a dinosaur book." Letting go of Trish, Chris pressed the book proudly into Mac's hands. "It's not the same as yours, but it has lots of pictures!"
Mac felt the tears pooling in her eyes. Batting her lashes a few times, she took in a deep breath. She couldn't have felt any more flattered if Chris had been her own flesh and blood.
"It was the only thing she wanted," Trish shrugged.
"She helped me pick it out." Chris pointed at Trish and then turned towards her and stretched her arms around Trish's hips in a tight hug. "Thank you, ma'am."
Harm could see the tears welling up in his mom's eyes, too. If they weren't careful, he might have to start building an ark.
Dropping down to her height for a proper hug she said, "I'll have none of that 'ma'am'. Mac calls me Mom, and I'm not her mother. Since your grandma can't be here anymore to take you shopping and do Grandma things, what do you say you just call me Grandma, or if you like, Grandma Trish?"
Stunned at his mother's suggestion, Harm gulped audibly, glancing first at Mac, and then Chris. He still hadn't broached the question of parentage, or even what other name Chris should call him. Instantly, he was concerned Chris might somehow be upset at his mom thinking she was somehow trying to replace her grandmother. Ready to jump in if Chris showed even the slightest sign of being upset, Harm waited for her response.
Pressing her lips together tightly, Chris turned to Harm. Looking at Mac then back to him again, quietly she asked, "Is it really okay?"
Extending his hand to touch her shoulder he tried to assure her, "If you want to, it's okay." His slight smile didn't quite reach his eyes. There was too much apprehension in her voice.
Chris looked back at Mac for confirmation. Trish marveled at the silent communication taking place between the little girl and her future stepmother. Scrunching her nose, Mac nodded her head at Trish. "It's okay."
With the speed of a tomcat doing nine g's, Chris spun around and wrapped her arms around Trish's neck. "I like Grandma!"
Chapter 23
McDonald's restaurant
1810
"I haven't had this much fun in years." Trish took a bite of her french fry.
"I can't believe you're eating at McDonald's," Harm chuckled.
"You are!" Trish snapped back.
"Touché," he acquiesced.
"Why does she still call you Commander?"
"Because I'm not quite as bold as you are." Shifting in his small seat, he grabbed hold of Mac's hand. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately, drawing his strength from Mac. "Mom, it's complicated. She thinks she's pretending you're her grandmother. She has no idea you really are, and I don't want her pretending I'm her dad. I have to find the right way to explain it to her."
"Well, you'd better come up with something soon. I know it's been what, over a month or so since she appeared in your life?"
"More or less, yes."
"Well, she's obviously very comfortable with you both, especially Mac."
"You noticed, too?"
"I'd have to be blind not to have noticed. She needs a mother, Harm. What she needs is a real family, not a grandmother and grandfather, but a mother and father, and a house with brothers and sisters. And I'm not saying that because I want to hold a grandbaby, which I do." She glared at him pointedly between breaths. "You need to stop dawdling and take care of things. You've bought the house, you've proposed to the girl, now sit down with your daughter and FIND the words."
Harm looked over his mother's shoulder at the little girl playing in the ball pit. He knew his mother was right. He also knew he didn't want to screw this up. This wasn't the same as his relationship with Mac, or anyone else for that matter. He couldn't bear it if he somehow ruined that sweet little girl for life.
"I know, Mom. I'm trying."
"Well, try a little harder. She seems to have taken well to calling me Grandma. Maybe it won't be as hard for her to find out you're her Dad as you think." Eating the last of her french fries, "What do you say we blow this joint, and you show me your knew castle?" Trish teased playfully.
"Sure thing. Marjorie said to stop by any time this evening." Standing up, Harm kissed Mac on the cheek, then called Chris out from the play area.
Scanning the house as Harm pulled into the long driveway, Trish thought the house was even nicer than he'd described. "Oh, Harm. This is lovely," she commented, obviously impressed.
"Yeah, it's old, but it's been well cared for." Harm opened the car door for Mac, then his mother. Chris climbed out behind Trish.
"Are we going to visit Contessa?" she asked sweetly.
"I bet she's home." Harm held his hand out for Chris to grab hold of, then dropped his free arm around Mac's waist.
"Do you like this house?" Trish asked Chris.
"It has a big swing."
"When the Commander moves in are you going to come play a lot?" If Harm wasn't broaching the subject, Trish was fully prepared to start the way for him.
"Can I?" She looked at Harm.
"Of course you can." Harm smiled at Chris and then glared at his mom. He shouldn't be surprised. She's who he inherited his tenacity from.
"Will the Colonel be here, too?" Chris had learned to ask and not assume.
"Yes." This time Mac answered. For most of the day she'd let Harm and Trish do the majority of the talking, but this time she felt the need to participate. With all the chaos of buying the house, preparing for Trish's visit, and spending as much time as possible with Chris, she and Harm hadn't discussed wedding plans or dates. She was most definitely going to be a part of this, and she wasn't going to give Harm room to hedge.
Marjorie opened the door wide. "Come in. Nice to see you again."
Harm stepped into the house and around a box.
"Sorry about the mess, we're almost all packed up. The movers are coming next week to take everything down. If you want to start working on any of the rooms early, I'm sure it won't be a problem."
"That might be helpful. Thank you. Marjorie Field, this is my mother, Trish Burnett."
"Nice to meet you," Trish replied.
"Same here." Turning to close the door behind them, Marjorie continued, "Make yourselves at home. I'm going to finish packing a few things in the den. Contessa is in the backyard if anyone wants to play outside."
As usual Chris' face lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Go on. I'm going to show Grandma around the house." Harm nudged her in the direction of the kitchen.
In only seconds, Chris had bolted out the back door and was wrestling in the grass with the playful dog.
"You realize you're going to have to get her a dog?" Marjorie commented.
"Among other things," Harm mumbled.
Trish nodded and ahhed at appropriate interludes, pleasantly impressed with the purchase. "Which is Chris' room?"
Harm looked at Mac then back at his Mom, "I don't know yet. Any one of these three." Harm waved his arm down the hallway at the second floor bedrooms.
"You haven't asked her?" Trish was incredulous. What was her son doing? Before Harm had a chance to respond, Trish was marching down the stairs, through the kitchen, and had opened the back door. "Chris honey, come here a minute."
Trish watched as the young girl reluctantly left the panting dog behind and scurried up the back stairs.
"Yes?" she asked softly.
"I need to know what you think about something." Taking her hand and starting back up the stairs, "We have to do a lot of shopping while I'm here for things to fill this house." Reaching the top of the stairs, "I need to know if you like any of these room better than the others." Trish walked past Harm and Mac, both gaping like fish, and into the first room.
"When you come to visit you'll want to have your own pretty room."
Chris looked around the large room. The walls were a cream color, almost yellow. There was a large window facing the front yard, and a wall of closets. Walking through the bathroom, the two came out in the next bedroom. This room was almost a mirror image of the other room only it was slightly narrower and longer. Coming out at the end of the hall they walked past the stairs. Harm and Mac now followed behind them.
The next room was a little smaller than the others, the windows wrapped around the back and side wall, overlooking the backyard.
"This used to be my youngest daughter's room." Turning off the light switch, Marjorie walked across the room, pulled both sets of draperies closed and pointed to the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling.
Chris' jaw dropped to the floor as she looked up. "I like this room!" she told Trish.
"Very well, young lady. Then tomorrow we'll go shopping and start decorating your room!" Tossing her son a 'was that so hard' look, Trish and Chris made their way back down the stairs.
"I understand you have a birthday coming up?" Trish asked as they reached the ground floor.
"Uh huh. Saturday."
"Then I think we'll have to get you something extra special when we go shopping."
Joining up with Trish and Chris at the bottom of the stairs. "Are we ready to head out?" Harm asked, eyeing his mother carefully, concerned over what she and Chris were talking about.
"All ready." Trish answered, and Chris nodded.
Harm could tell his mother was silently plotting. He'd seen that look too many times before. When she was using all her energy to convince Frank to let her open the gallery it wasn't so bad, but when she was determined to hook Harm up with her best friend's daughter Cathy Fitzsimmons, all of Trish's plotting was almost the end of him. He was going to have to decide what to do about Chris and soon, because if he didn't, his mother most certainly would.
Chapter 24Ray's eyes almost fell out of his head when he saw the parade of packages everyone carried in.
"You must be Mrs. Claus?" he teased.
"Trish Burnett. How do you do?" She smiled back.
They didn't stay long. Trish watched Harm tuck Chris in and read a bedtime story, her heart swelling with pride and joy. After only one day, the little girl was deeply entrenched in her heart.
Despite all the shopping they'd done for Chris, Trish still managed to accumulate a good haul of her own. After taking her, and her truckload of goodies to the hotel, Harm and Mac proceeded to his apartment for the evening. They'd been alternating staying at each other's homes, only on rare occasion sleeping apart. Mac was especially pleased with the perk of being able to sleep through the night. Sleeping was something she always did in short spurts. Now that she and Harm were together, Mac found herself sleeping straight through the night, sometimes even falling asleep early getting more than the suggested eight hours a night.
After the sleep over fiasco, they had decided not to have Chris spend the night again until they were in the new house. What they hadn't brought up again were wedding plans. Mac was starting to get a little nervous, but she hadn't felt the time was right, there was simply too much going on.
"I'm beat. It's been an incredibly long day, and I can barely keep my eyes open." Mac began unbuttoning her blouse on her way up the steps.
"Let me get a quick drink, and I'm right behind you." Standing in front of the fridge, "Would you like anything?"
"Nope. I've reached that age where I have to cut out late night drinks. Lately I've had to make too many middle of the night visits to the head, and I'm not a happy camper." Mac kicked off her shoes.
Harm flipped off the lights, and made his way up the stairs. Walking around to what was now his side of the bed, Harm began stripping. "That age?"
"Never mind, flyboy." Mac slipped out of her slacks.
Avoiding the temptation to tease her some more, "I know I keep asking this, but got any new ideas on what we should get Chris for her birthday? Saturday is creeping up quickly." Harm tossed his shirt into the hamper.
"You know, watching your mom shop till she dropped today, and then watching Chris in the yard with Contessa gave me an idea. Remember how excited she was to be able to go down the big slide at McDonald's?"
"Yeah." Harm kicked off his shoes and unbuckled his pants.
"Well, I think the fort is the right height for one of those long tube slides. She can still use the smaller one the set has, but we could add the long one to the other side. What do you think?" Mac pulled a t-shirt on over her head and sat down heavily on the bed waiting for Harm's reaction.
"I suppose that would be much easier than a puppy." Harm climbed under the covers.
"MUCH!" Mac laughed, snuggling up beside him.
Mac was almost sound asleep when she felt the rumble of Harm's chest. "Say that again," she mumbled.
"Since you did so good with the present, any idea how I'm going to tell Chris I'm her father?"
"Well, she already has an idea you're going to take care of her." Mac shifted to sit up. She had a feeling this wasn't going to be a quick conversation.
"She does?"
"Yeah, remember at my place the night she stayed over? She asked if you were going to take care of her now that her grandma was gone."
"Oh yeah, then she changed the subject and never said if she wanted me to." Slowly the memory was coming back to him.
"At least the Parkers helped set you up by telling her that you were very special to Jordan and loved her very much, that you would love and care for Chris, and that her father would love and care for her if he could. You're just going to have to make the time to connect the dots for her."
"You make it sound so simple," Harm sighed.
"Well, I think we've gotten very good at making things too complicated. Most people don't need almost nine years to make a commitment, never mind go on a real date." Mac tried to lighten things up a little.
"This isn't the same, and you know it."
"No, it's not, but that doesn't mean we can just ignore it forever."
"Or nine years." This time Harm was the one to interject humor, or at least try to. "Do you think I should tell her before Saturday?"
"I don't know. Has Ray said anything?"
"No, he's let me know he'll support whatever decision I make."
"This one is up to you." Mac leaned back down, snuggling into the crook of his arm.
"I know. Thank you for putting up with me."
"Any...time..." Mac mumbled into his chest. She was quickly losing her battle with sleep.
"I love you, marine." Harm kissed the top of her sleeping head and thanked God he was finally a part of her life.
JAG HeadquartersNext day
Trish made her way through the bullpen as though she'd been maneuvering it her entire life. Much to Harm's surprise, not a single person had stopped to question who she was. She had mastered early in life the art of walking into a place with such an air of owning it that most people rarely found the nerve to ask if she really did.
"Are you busy, dear?" Trish tapped on the doorframe.
"Mom!" Harm stood up quickly, "No one mentioned you were here." Giving her a quick hug, he pulled a chair out for her to take a seat. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to take Chris shopping?"
"I'm on my way to get her now. We're going to have lunch, too. I thought she might enjoy the gypsy tea room, sort of an oversized tea party."
Harm chuckled quietly. One way or another, his mother was going to bring Chris around to her sense of style.
"Harm, why isn't she in school?" Trish Burnett didn't believe in beating around the bush.
"Well, Ray pulled her out to come find me. Since things were somewhat up in the air about her immediate future, he didn't want to put her in one school to have to pull her out again." It had made perfect sense to Harm.
"Well, that might have been the case when they first moved here, but you are planning on taking care of her. You've bought a house. She should be registered in the school district for the new house, now." Trish's no nonsense motherly tone was coming out loud and clear.
Flustered momentarily by an instant resentment of being told what to do by his mommy, Harm realized almost as quickly that she was right. Starting school in his school district while she was still living with Ray was one more security block that she would be able to hold onto during the transition.
"You're right, Mom. I'll make some phone calls today and take care of it."
Trish smiled broadly at her son. She knew she'd raised him right.
Two days later, Chris was registered and starting afternoon kindergarten. The state had recently decided to gradually move the cut off date to turn five from the end of December back earlier and earlier. She had just made this years cut off date and Harm felt she'd be better off in kindergarten. It was a bit of a drive from Potomac to the new house, but since class started at noon, the drive wasn't a problem. Harriet would pick her up after school with AJ and then Harm would pick her up from Harriet's after work.
Even though she'd only been in class for three days, Aunt Shelly had gotten permission to send her to school with cupcakes for the class. Chris had come home bubbling with excitement. The minute Harm and Mac came through the door to pick her up, she began recounting the day.
"They sang happy birthday, and we had cupcakes, and they gave me cards, and the Teacher gave me a book, and Nancy gave me a flower, and ..." she was rambling on about so much that Harm didn't have the heart to stop her and tell her to take a breath.
"Can Nancy and Cathy come tomorrow too?" In only three days Chris had already made friends. Harriet had graciously offered to have a birthday barbecue at their house for Chris' birthday. Trish and Frank would be coming. Frank had flown in the day before. There was no way he was going to miss his granddaughter's birthday. Ray and his sister and her husband would be there as well.
"I don't know, honey," Harm started when he felt a hand on his arm.
"Too late, Commander. I already spoke to Nancy's mom, she'd be very happy to join us, and I left a message on the answering machine at Cathy's." Harriet leaned over and ruffled the pretty girl's hair.
"How'd you find them?"
"PTA directory. Very handy tool for parents." Harriet's tried to swallow her amusement.
"Thank you, Harriet. You're sure you don't mind?"
"When it comes to birthday's, the more the merrier."
Harm watched as Harriet helped Mac load up all of Chris' birthday goodies. He couldn't believe tomorrow would be the first birthday he'd spend with his daughter. So much had happened in the week since his mom had arrived. If everything went the way he planned tomorrow, so much more would come.
Chapter 25
Saturday November 5
Roberts Residence
1630
Everyone sat in the large family room watching Chris open her gifts. The children had spent a wonderful afternoon playing games, eating candy, cake and ice cream. The adults were even surprised when a clown showed up at the front door for an hour of unplanned entertainment. Eventually Frank had to fess up as the responsible party. Shrugging his shoulders, he meekly admitted, "Hey, as a kid I always wanted a clown at my party, finally got one."
Chris paid each gift due attention, thanking the giver profusely. When she got to the present from Mac and Harm, her eyes grew wide. "This is just like yours!"
Mac nodded her head, thrilled at the exuberant reaction. "It's the same dinosaur book I have. There's another present but it's at the new house. We'll go see it later."
The next gift was a small box from Grandma and Grandpa Frank. Chris looked thoughtfully at Frank before opening the box. "Oh, a Baby Born Doll!" Ripping the rest of the paper off more rapidly, the other two little girls rushed to her side to help her take all the different items out of the box.
"My heavens, it looks real!" Harriet joined in.
"I think that's why it's so popular. The girls love changing the diapers, feeding the bottle, all sorts of things. The doll, excuse me, baby, even laughs and cries tears." Mac rolled her eyes.
"She kept talking about it over and over at the toy store but explained that Grandpa had said it was too much money for a toy." Trish smiled, rather proud of herself for finding something that would make her granddaughter so happy.
"I suppose now you can open the next gift. It's from all of us." Ray gave Chris a box almost as big as she was, then pointed to himself, Shelly and her husband.
Chris opened the gift with the same enthusiasm she'd opened every present. "It's a stroller! OH! And a high chair! And a baby bed too!"
"It's called a cradle," Ray interjected, smiling at Trish and Frank. It had taken a little coordination but the grandparents had more fun than they'd expected to on their little shopping excursion for the best birthday gifts.
The Roberts' boys opted to play in the backyard, while the girls oohed and ahhed over every little thing with the dolls until their parents came to pick them up.
Meanwhile, the adults found themselves seated around the kitchen table chatting away, occasionally interrupted by a thirsty child, or the ringing doorbell of a parent coming to retrieve their offspring, until Mac looked up and said, "It's almost 6 o'clock. We should probably take Chris to the house and show her the last gift, then we can grab a bite to eat and take her home."
"Oh, I hadn't noticed the time," Trish chimed in.
"It probably would help if we made it home before you bring Chris," Ray chuckled.
Bidding their farewells, and thank yous, Harm showed everyone to the door, while Harriet and Mac did some major recovery work in the kitchen.
"You really don't have to stay. It's why we use paper plates at parties. The only requirement for clean up is a large trash bag." Harriet proudly held up a heavy duty, oversized, black, lawn and leaf bag.
Mac joined in the laughter. "Excuse me one minute. I'm going to go see a man about a horse."
"Sure." Harriet watched Mac walking to the bathroom. She couldn't remember ever noticing Mac use the ladies room more than once or twice when visiting, but this must have been the third or fourth time she'd seen Mac sneak away. She wasn't quite sure what to make of it, but something inside was nagging at her.
By the time Harm had all the loot stashed in the car, Harriet and Mac had left the kitchen and family room spotless.
"Thanks again, Harriet, Bud. This was very nice of you. Everyone had a wonderful time." Harm kissed Harriet, and followed Mac and Chris out the door.
It only took a few minutes to reach the new house. Harm pulled out his keys, searching for the latest addition. "Marjorie and Bill moved into a hotel yesterday. The movers will be picking all of this up on Monday." Turning the lock, Harm pushed the door open.
"Close your eyes," Harm told Chris, picking her up and carrying her outside. When he was only a few feet in front of the swing set, he put Chris down and took hold of Mac's hand. "Okay, open your eyes."
Scanning the set curiously, it was obvious to Harm and Mac the moment Chris spotted the big slide. Running immediately over, and sliding her hand along the side of the tube as though the plastic were made of precious gems, she looked up at Harm and Mac.
"My own big slide?"
"Yup, it's all yours. Anytime you want," Harm grinned, thrilled with the bright spark in her eyes.
The chill of the night air was beginning to set in earlier and earlier every day. After only a few runs down the slide, Harm suggested they go inside to show Chris something else. Squeezing Mac's hand for reassurance, the three soon to be family, moved past the boxes and furniture up to Chris' room.
Chris stepped into the room first, "Wow."
"You like it?" Mac knelt down to her height.
"It's the most beautifulest room I've ever seen."
The walls had been painted a very pail shade of Chris' favorite pink. A white wanescoating and a chair rail had been added to the lower half of the room to tone down the walls. The ceiling had been painted a beautiful pail blue with white fluffy clouds and the few scattered stars were replaced with glow in the dark constellations that would become more apparent once the lights were turned off.
Immediately, Chris ran for the bed. A bunk arrangement with the bottom bed pointing into the room. The remainder of the bed was a loft, with windows, and bookshelves all designed in the appearance of a country cottage. Originally Trish had intended to purchase the castle version for the room but when she and Chris walked briefly past the room displays on their way to the bedding department, Trish had noticed her granddaughter's attention seemed to gravitate towards the fairytale cottage.
The set came with a matching dresser and desk. The heavy drapes had been removed and replaced with simple roman shades in a bleached canvas. The top of the window was framed with a fabric-covered shelf on ornate brackets. Antique books, collectible dolls, and miscellaneous greenery along the shelf adding to the charm and color of the room.
Sitting down next to Chris, Harm picked up one of the nearby stuffed animals.
"You remember I told you that the Colonel and I are going to be getting married?" he asked.
"Uh huh."
"That's one of the reasons we bought this house." Harm paused to contemplate his next words. "We also bought it so you could have a room of your very own, anytime you want."
"I remember," Chris confirmed.
"Do you still want to come visit?"
"Can we stay here tonight?" Chris could hardly wait to get to sleep in her new bed.
Feeling somewhat reassured, Harm smiled a little brighter, "Well, not tonight, but soon."
"How soon?"
"The house still belongs to Mr. and Mrs. Field. Would next Saturday be okay?" Harm would have to see if they could move the closing up from next Tuesday. With the Field's all moved out, he didn't think it would be much of a problem.
"Okay," she agreed reluctantly.
"I need to talk to you about something else, too." Harm found himself squeezing the furry toy in his hands with more zeal than he'd intended.
"You know how your Grandma, not Grandma Trish, how she told you that your Daddy would love you if he knew you?"
Chris nodded her head yes.
"And how I would love you if I knew you?"
"Cause you're mommy's special friend."
Grudgingly, Harm nodded his head yes. He'd have preferred she recognized he loved her for her not for her mother, but right now, that special friend connection would probably come in handy.
"I like taking care of you. You're a very special little girl, very easy to love."
Chris waited patiently. It was obvious from the intense little look in her eyes that she had no idea where Harm was going with this. Then again, why should she?
"What would you think if I were your daddy?"
"You mean like Grandma, Trish?"
"No, I mean for real. Would you like me to be your daddy?"
Chapter 26.
Mac stood in the doorway watching, her fingers cramping from the strong grip on the frame.
"Would the Colonel be my mommy?" Chris' voice had dropped to an almost inaudible level.
Mac felt her stomach lurch to her throat. She was sure that wasn't the response Harm wanted, and was fairly sure he wasn't prepared for it either.
"Would you like that?" Harm hadn't expected that reaction, but he should have. Chris had been especially attached to Mac from the first day.
"I think so." Chris looked up at Mac, her eyes silently pleading for answers.
As she'd done so often, Mac smiled sweetly at the young girl and nodded her reassurance.
"When Mac and I get married, she'll be my wife and that would make her like your mommy. Jordan will always be your mommy, nothing will change that, but Mac already loves you like a mommy."
"And you love me like a daddy?"
Harm swallowed hard, nodding his head yes. He could see her trying to fit all the pieces together.
"Would I have to leave Grandpa for you to take care of me?"
"Not if you don't want to." There was no way Harm would forcibly take her away from her grandfather if she didn't want that.
"Is he going to go to heaven like Grandma?" Chris' lower lip pressed upward tightly in an attempt to hide the quiver.
"Someday, but not anytime soon." Harm couldn't stand it anymore and he pulled the little girl onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. "Your Grandpa is a strong man who loves you very much. He's not going anywhere yet."
Mac watched as Chris laid her head against Harm's chest, her shoulders drooping sadly. Mac struggled to resist the urge to go sit on the bed beside them. Harm needed this opportunity to comfort his daughter without any intrusion from her. It was the first time she could remember Chris folding into Harm with such trust without looking around for her first.
"Can I go home now?" Chris mumbled into his shirt.
"Sure, baby. Sure. We'll stop and get some dinner and then take you home to Grandpa." Harm stood up keeping Chris in his arms and carried her past Mac, and down the stairs. He wasn't really sure what he expected, but his heart felt as though it was in a vise. He should have waited to tell her.
Chris didn't say much in the car, at dinner, or once they got home. She'd answer when spoken to but seemed to have lost her natural tendency to chatter. The vise on Harm's heart was clamping down harder and harder.
Harm had put Chris to bed and read her a story like he'd done every night he was with her, but this time she asked if Grandpa could come too.
Mac and the Stevens' indulged in idle conversation and waited anxiously for Ray and Harm to come downstairs.
"Okay, who wants to tell me what happened?" Ray asked as soon as he and Harm reached the living room.
"I tried to tell her I'm her father."
"Oh." Ray sat heavily in the nearest chair. "And that's how she reacted?"
"Actually," Mac spoke up, "I'm not sure she really understood that Harm 'is' her father. I think she realizes he wants to be her father, but what I think happened is she interpreted Harm wanting to be her father to mean you're going to heaven like her mom and grandma. She's scared you're going to die."
"Why would she think that?" Ray didn't understand what Harm being her father had to do with his dying.
"I think it's because she's been told when you and her grandmother aren't around anymore, I would take care of her. Somehow she thinks if I want to take care of her it's because you aren't going to be around." Harm tried to explain as best he could considering he honestly had no idea how a five year old's thought process worked.
All the color drained from Ray's face in a moment. "I think I need some water," he said to no one in particular.
"I'll get you a glass." Shelly sprang up.
"Let me help you. I'm not feeling so good myself," Mac offered.
"Me neither. Would you mind bringing a glass for me too?" Harm added before sitting down on the hearth.
"Never mind water, I need a real drink!" Fred Stevens stood up. "Ray, want a beer?"
"No, thank you." Ray let out a deep sigh.
"You, Commander?"
"I'll stick to water." Harm didn't think it would be fair to Mac to drink under the circumstances. It was one thing to have a beer at McMurphy's. It was an entirely different story to 'need' a drink.
Without actually asking, Fred turned to Mac.
"No, water will be fine for me too." Mac stepped around the coffee table and followed Shelly into the kitchen.
"I'm sorry, Ray." Harm had no idea what else to say, and certainly not what to do.
"You have nothing to apologize for. None of us had any ideas on how to deal with this. If I'd have been more of a man and insisted on what I knew was right, Chris would have known all along you were her father." Ray leaned back rubbing his temple. "I guess I'll just have to find a way to convince her I'm not going to die." And pray it's true, he thought.
"We talked about doing a sleepover next Saturday so she could sleep in her new bed." Harm looked up at the sound of ice clinking in glasses.
"She liked it?" A small smile teased at Ray's lips.
"Yeah, she really did." Harm stood up and accepted a glass of water from Mac. "In light of this evening, maybe it would be a good idea if both of you came over to spend the night."
"Are you sure?" Ray took a sip of the water Shelly had given him.
"Yes, maybe if we talk about the two of you visiting on Saturday it will help reassure her that you're not going anywhere, that she doesn't have to choose between you and me. She can still have us both, even if I am her father."
"Makes sense," Shelly nodded, taking a seat by her husband.
"I think it's time I had a little talk with her, too. I should have done this a long time ago." Ray took a long sip of his drink. "I think I'll have that beer now."
No one had very much more to say. With little fuss, Harm and Mac called it a night and said their goodbyes.
"Are you coming to my place?" Harm asked as he turned the key in the ignition.
"Actually, this whole day has me not feeling so hot. I think I'd like to crawl into my own bed." Mac leaned back against the headrest.
"Alone?" Harm's voice sounded as lost as Chris' a few hours ago.
"Huh?" Mac turned to look at Harm.
"Did you want me to leave you alone?" Harm was beginning to think that viselike grip on his heart wasn't going to ease up anytime soon.
"No. I didn't mean that. I just meant I wanted to be in my own bed." Mac leaned back again, hoping Harm understood.
"I've been so preoccupied with Chris, and the house, and my mother, that there are a few things we haven't really discussed that I think I may have, well, taken for granted." Harm caught a glimpse of Mac out of the corner of his eye. She did look awfully tired. Today had taken a toll on everyone.
"Like what?" Mac let her eyes fall closed to rest a minute.
"Well... I ... I thought my bed was yours." Harm stole another glance her way just as she opened her eyes and looked at him.
"It is, sort of."
"Sort of?" That vise was tightening again.
"It's just my room is my room and your room is your room. Even though they're both perfect so long as I have you with me, your room is still yours." Mac wasn't sure if she was explaining that very well.
"Mac, have you given any thought to 'our' room in the new house?" Harm wished he didn't have to keep his eyes on the road.
"No, I guess not." Mac sat up. This had all the earmarks of turning into a more serious discussion.
"What about a wedding date?"
"Have you?" Mac countered.
"I asked first."
"Doesn't matter. Have you given any thought to a wedding date?" Mac stared at him pointedly.
"No, I guess not. Like I said, I just assumed."
"Assumed what?"
"I don't know, that we would be doing this together."
"We are." This conversation was not helping Mac's headache.
"But you want you're own bed?"
"If it's that big a deal, we'll go to your place," Mac snapped unexpectedly.
"That's not my point and you know it. Are you planning on moving into the house with me?"
"You never asked."
Harm's eyes opened wide. "Excuse me, but I'm the one who wanted to get married the same day I asked you to marry me. I'm the one who wanted a house big enough for the three of us. How could you not know I want us to move in together?"
He was right, but she wasn't in the mood to be gracious. "I'm not a mind reader."
"Maybe you're right. It's probably a good idea to let you rest at your place, and we can figure this out further when we're all feeling better." Harm knew better than to say anything more.
"Fine." All Mac wanted was to be left in peace to get some much needed sleep.
Chapter 27By the time he'd driven a little further, Harm was wracked with worry. What had just happened? He didn't mean to start trouble. Why couldn't he leave well enough alone? So she wanted the familiarity of her own apartment when she didn't feel good. What was so awful about that? Pulling into a space near the front of her building, Harm turned to face Mac.
"Mac, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made such a fuss. " It took him a few minutes to register that Mac hadn't heard a thing he said. She was sound asleep. "Mac, honey." Harm lightly tapped her arm.
"Hm?"
"We're home." A knot began twisting in his stomach in conjunction with the vise tightening the grip on his heart. "Are you okay?"
Blinking her eyes a few times to clear the sleepy fog. "Yeah, I told you I was tired. Today wasn't exactly what I would call a cakewalk." Letting out a big yawn, Mac reached for the door handle.
"Let me." Harm patted her arm lightly before climbing out of the car and going around to get her door.
"I could have done that."
"I know, but I wanted to." Harm extended his hand to her. "I'm sorry I didn't understand about wanting to be in your own bed."
Mac unlocked the lobby door, and hesitated against it as Harm stepped inside. "I didn't mean for it to be a big deal. I'm just tired. It's been a long, stressful day."
"I know that now." He followed her quietly to her apartment door, and watched her fumble with the key in the lock. Under any other circumstance, he would have offered to open the door for her, but tonight, he was too afraid to say or do the wrong thing.
"I'm going to make some tea. Would you like a cup?" Mac dropped her keys by the door and headed straight for the kitchen.
"Sure." Harm followed closely behind her, thankful she hadn't sent him home yet.
While Mac filled the tea kettle, Harm pulled out two mugs, and was reaching for the tea when his hand brushed up against Mac's.
"I really am sorry," he whispered. His fingers softly brushing against her.
"I know." She set the kettle down in the sink. "Me too."
Before Harm could say a word, Mac had wrapped her arms around his waist and was crying quietly against his shoulder. Wanting desperately to make everything right for everyone, Harm's broad hands gently soothed her delicate back.
"I love you," he whispered into her hair.
"Don't go," she mumbled into his shirt.
"I was hoping you'd say that." Softly, he kissed the top of her head. "Why don't you get ready for bed, and I'll bring you your cup of tea?"
Sniffling as she stepped back, "That sounds nice. Thank you." Smoothing his now damp shirt with her hands, she glanced up with a half-hearted smile before turning around to leave.
By the time he brought the two cups of tea into the bedroom, Mac was snuggled into bed and dozing with the TV on.
"Here you go." He set the mug by her bedside before going to brush his teeth. One of the reasons he was caught so off guard by the 'yours verses mine' conversation was that each of them had their own set of toiletries at the other's apartment, a few changes of clothes, and even their own drawers. Either way, he wasn't going to let it bother him anymore, at least not tonight.
"I was hoping you'd want me to move in with you right away." Mac blew into the hot mug. It made perfect sense that he would since she'd contributed to the down payment.
"I do." Harm wasn't sure how much he should say.
"I...I wasn't sure." Mac took a short sip. She was using the drink as a mental distraction, avoiding the need to look Harm in the eye. In the mood she was in, she simply wasn't taking anything for granted. For all she had known, her presence wasn't expected until after the wedding.
"I told you I wanted it all, Mac. I meant it. We can donate my bedroom furniture to good will, and set yours up in the master bedroom, right after we go to city hall and get married." Harm scooted closer to her, took her cup and set it on the nightstand, then pulled her into his arms. "We can start tomorrow."
"You shouldn't have to give up your bedroom, and your mom is flying home tomorrow. You know she'd kill us both if she didn't get to see the wedding, and tomorrow is Sunday, we can't get a..."
"License on Sunday," Harm cut her off.
"Right," Mac chuckled for the first time since the party earlier that day.
"I'll agree to wait till my mother can attend to get married, if you'll agree to pick a date."
"Fair enough, but what if I agree to pick a date after we're settled in the house and know what's going on with Chris."
"That IS what we've been waiting for isn't it?" Harm squeezed Mac's shoulder tightly against him for just an instant as if drawing much needed strength from her. Somehow today he had accidentally managed to upset both the women in his life.
"This will all work out. Don't worry." Mac resisted the urge to start singing, 'Don't Worry, Be Happy."
"What about the bedrooms? Chris got a new room. Maybe we should do the same. There are lots of bedrooms upstairs. We can put each of our furniture in a bedroom and get something totally new for our room." Harm tucked his chin into his chest and tried to peek at her reaction.
"Excellent idea, counselor. We could even look at a few places tomorrow before we have to take your mother and Frank to the airport." Contented with how things were working out, Mac let her eyes fall shut.
"Anyplace you want," Harm smiled.
"Mm,"
"Night Mac." Harm's smile spread a little wider. Not hearing a response, he squinted one eye trying to get a better look. Once again his marine had fallen asleep. 'His' marine. He never thought he'd live to see the day they would actually work everything out. Carefully shifting down, trying not to disturb her, Harm decided to leave the lights on. He didn't want to let go of her for even a few short seconds to reach the lamp. He never wanted to let go of her again.
The Burnett's flight didn't leave until late Sunday night. When Harm called Marjorie to ask about any inconvenience in changing the closing date, she mentioned having a few things she still wanted to do at the house that afternoon. It was quickly decided they could meet at the house to initial any changes in the contract. Spending some time with Contessa and the new slide would be good for Chris. It would also be an easy way for Trish and Frank to say their goodbyes, so the entire Rabb clan, including Mac and Ray, spent the afternoon on the back porch sipping hot chocolate and watching Chris and Contessa run and play in the warm autumn sun.
Chris hadn't said anything about yesterday, and even though she seemed less upset, she still wasn't her exuberant chatty self.
Marjorie had been washing the cabinets inside and out, despite Harm's insistence it wasn't necessary, when he decided to ask her for advice on Chris. Before long she was sitting on the back porch with all the grandparents. The startled expression on her face had mellowed to parental concern, and now she seemed obviously pensive.
"Well, that is a somewhat complicated problem, isn't it? I know I raised four kids, but even I don't have an answer for you. I can tell you it's going to take more than just words to convince her your not going to die." Marjorie looked at Ray.
"If it were me, I'd make sure you did as much with her as possible from your old routine. Routine is comforting for kids. Perhaps work towards doing more things with the four of you for a while until she's secure again in the feeling that Harm being her father has nothing to do with your dying."
"I was thinking the same thing." Ray glanced over at Harm, wondering if he agreed, and was thankful to see Harm nodding his head.
"As a matter of fact, Mac and I were talking about something when we were out shopping earlier. Now is as good a time as any to run it by you." Looking at Ray, he continued, "As you know the basement and attic are both finished. The attic is going to make a great teenage rumpus area when Chris is older, but we don't really need the basement. It has it's own door into the back yard, there's a full bathroom, the living area could easily be separated to create a bedroom, and it wouldn't take much to convert the laundry room into a small kitchen. It wouldn't be the same as your house in Florida, but it would give you privacy, and then we could easily share Chris without putting any stress on her."
Trish glanced up at her husband and then back at her son. She was so proud of the man he'd become. He was going to be a good father.
Ray on the other hand, stared blankly at Harm. His face was completely unreadable.
Chapter 28"You want me to move in with you?" Ray's face remained expressionless, despite the incredulity in his voice.
"Not exactly 'with' us. It would be like having your own apartment." Harm had no idea what the man was thinking. Almost nervously, he reached over for Mac's hand. At this moment, he realized he needed her comforting touch as much as he needed the air he breathed. Fleetingly the thought crossed his mind, how had he made it through difficult situations the last forty years without her?
"But in the same house where I could see Chris anytime I wanted?" Ray's face was starting to soften. "Where I could pick her up after school, take her to the park, watch her play in the yard?"
"That's the idea," Harm smiled.
"I...I don't know what to say." Ray had been thrilled at the growing relationship between Chris and Harm and yet chided himself at the same time for resenting how quickly it had grown. He had been dreading the day he would become an occasional weekend Grandpa, feeling guilty at the small pleasure he felt when Chris wanted him last night after everything. Now, the man who he and his wife had kept far away for so long was offering to let him remain a part of his only granddaughter's every day life. "I think I need to think about this." The words barely came out. He needed all his strength to stop the tears that threatened to flow.
"Of course. Take as much time as you like," Harm answered. Mac nodded her assent.
Harm introduced his mother to the fine cuisine of Chuck E Cheese's before taking her to the airport. He had to admit, it gave him an enormous chuckle to watch his mother delight in food she would normally never have touched with a ten foot pole if it were not for one pint sized little girl.
Ray used the time to thoughtfully consider what Harm had offered while watching this newly formed family interact. By the time they made it back to his sister-in-law's, Chris was nearly exhausted. Without any need for coaxing from her grandfather, she went directly from kissing her aunt and uncle hello, to her room upstairs.
Briefly, Ray filled Shelly and Fred in on the new development, and then hurried upstairs to talk to Chris.
"How ya doing, Buttercup?"
"Fine," she giggled. She loved it when her Grandpa called her Buttercup. It made her feel pretty.
"I want to talk to you about something." Acknowledging her nod, he continued. "You know the Colonel and Commander both love you very much?"
"Uh huh."
"Do you know why he wants to be your Daddy?"
Nodding her head yes, "Because he was Mommy's special friend."
"That's right. Only he didn't know that until you told him."
"He didn't?" Her eyebrows curled into a human question mark.
"No, your mommy didn't tell him how special he was. Your Grandma and I knew, but we never told him."
Chris watched her grandfather carefully, her expression showing a wisdom beyond her years.
This was harder than he had expected. Ray couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for Harm to try and tell her. "He wants to take care of you now."
"I know."
"He also wants me to help."
"He does?" A hint of the sparkle that had been missing from her eyes the last two days reappeared.
"Yes, honey. Do you know why Grandma went to be with Mommy?"
"Her heart was broken."
Ray almost gasped at the uncanny choice of words. In some ways it wasn't just the aneurysm that killed her. His wife's heart was indeed broken the day Jordan was murdered. The only thing keeping it from completely crumbling was this precious little girl.
"That's right. But you know what?"
"What?"
"My heart works just fine. Feel." Ray placed her small hand on his chest letting the beat thump against her. "We didn't come to be with the Commander because Grandma is gone."
"We didn't?" She interrupted, her hand still resting on his beating heart.
"No. We came because he was Mommy's special friend, and we wanted you to have a Daddy."
"But I want to stay with you." That hint of a sparkle had faded again.
"Well, if the Commander is your Dad, and the Colonel becomes your Mom, and I'm still your Grandpa, then that would make us all one big family. Lots of times big families live in big houses."
Before he could even finish his sentence, the sparkle in her eyes was shining brightly.
"Are we all going to live in the big house? Contessa too?"
Ray couldn't help chuckling at the last part. He wasn't sure if he should be flattered or concerned to be on the same level of importance as a German Shepherd.
"Well, Contessa belongs to the Fields. I know they would miss her terribly, but I bet we can talk your Dad into getting a dog some day soon." Ray waited to see how she would react to calling Harm her Dad instead of Commander before continuing. "Would you like to go live in the new house if I had the big room downstairs?"
"And I could still have my pretty room?"
"Yes, you would." Watching her face light up, for the first time in two days, Ray had a feeling everything was going to be alright.
Rabb house Next Saturday afternoon"I really think it will be better if I'm downstairs from the beginning. Staying in the guest room until all the changes are made and my furniture arrives would be ridiculous. The way the downstairs is laid out in an L shape, all I need is one wall with a door on the left to close off the bedroom area. It won't take them but a couple of days to put up the wall and paint it, and it shouldn't make much of a mess either so I can sleep downstairs. The kitchen will take a bit longer, but I'm sure I can get my landlords to let me borrow theirs. I have connections," Ray laughed. When he decided to tell Harm about Chris, he never dreamed things would turn out like this. Jordan was right. He was a special man.
Ever since Ray agreed to move into the house with them they'd been debating back and forth if he should try and live downstairs during remodeling or stay upstairs until it was finished. Harm finally gave in and agreed to have Ray stay downstairs from the start. Since they didn't want to take Chris out of school to go to Florida with her grandfather, and thought it was too soon after her scare for him to leave without her, Ray let the realtor arrange to have all his belongings packed and shipped to Maryland for storage. Then he could take his time sorting and decide what should be sold and what he would keep. Fortunately, they had downsized considerably when they first retired to Florida.
Chris played outside while the movers brought in most of their belongings. Harriet and Bud came by with the children, hoping AJ and Jimmy would help keep Chris entertained.
"It sounds like everything is working out for the best." Harriet sat down in the nearest chair.
"How do you manage to do so much with twins?" Mac opened a box and began unwrapping dishes, waving Harriet off when she attempted to get up to help.
"If you don't mind, I do need to rest a few minutes. It's not that bad really. You learn to do what you have to. It was actually harder when I was pregnant. It was so frustrating not always having the energy when you want it." Harriet grinned at the two babies sleeping peacefully in the carriers. "But it's always worth it."
Mac busied herself filling the cabinets, hoping to ignore, or at least hide the twinge of jealousy deep in her heart. When she felt Harm's gaze behind her, she was delighted for the distraction.
"I think it's time we ordered some food to feed this mob." Harm inched up behind her and kissed the top of her head.
"Works for me. I've already got the Pizza Hut phone number on the fridge," Mac chuckled at the fallen expression on Harm's face. "Don't worry, we won't use it 'too' often." She just loved how that man could make her entire world feel right with a grin.
Chapter 29Harm was standing in the kitchen reluctantly calling Pizza Hut for their evening meal when AJ, Jimmy and Chris came running inside.
"I'm hungry mom," AJ announced, out of breath from playing. Jimmy followed his brother in tow, but had little to say other than an agreeing nod of the head.
Ray arrived in the kitchen just in time to admire the parade of children displayed before him. He was looking forward to being part of a bustling family again.
Watching his daughter eagerly making her way over to where he was standing, Harm had prepared himself for the inevitable onslaught of questions regarding refueling. He wondered sometimes if genetic traits could be acquired through osmosis. It was his only explanation for why so many things she did reminded him of Mac.
"Daddy, when are we getting a dog?" Chris stared up at Harm as if she hadn't just rocked his world.
A little less startled than the rest of the adults in the room, Ray noticed Harm gaping open mouthed at Chris, the receiver returned to its cradle in almost slow motion. Mac fumbled obviously with the plates in her hand, barely salvaging them from crashing to the floor. Harriet appeared to be the only other adult taking the entire incident in stride. She sat casually with a large Cheshire grin on her face.
"I'm afraid that's my fault, Harm. I forgot to tell you that little detail of our conversation the other night." Walking up to Chris, Ray nudged her on the shoulder. "You and the boys go get washed up. The pizza will be here soon."
"But, you said we'd all be a family and that Mommy and Daddy would get us a dog like Contessa." Chris was unaware of the impact of her latest commentary on both Harm and Mac. Bud also stood off to the side, obviously confused by the current conversation.
"I said 'someday.' Maybe you can discuss it with your mom and dad after the company goes home." Ray wondered if Harm or Mac were going to find their voices anytime soon.
Bending down to her height and gently rubbing his hand across the side of her face, Harm spoke softly, "Your Grandpa's right. We'll talk about this after everyone goes home." Watching Chris run out of the room with the boys as though nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, Harm turned to see the single tear trickle down Mac's cheek. In a few long strides he was across the room and holding Mac in his arms.
"We're really going to be a family," she whispered into his shoulder.
"Looks like it," he assured her, "looks like it."
Once company left Saturday evening, all Chris could talk about was a dog like Contessa. Harm did his best to explain how all dogs were different, but his heart, and subsequently his brain, would stop every time she started her sentence with- 'but Daddy'.
Ray had said his goodnights early establishing a pattern of independence from the nuclear family routine from the beginning. When Harm and Mac finally tucked the exhausted little girl in for the night, they could feel the energy charging between their clasped hands when Chris said, "night Mommy, Daddy," then closed her eyes as though they had been doing it this way her entire life.
Exhausted and drained, the two shell-shocked adults climbed into their new bed for the first time.
"I knew Chris was feeling better since her talk with Ray, but I never expected her to just start calling us mom and dad like that." Harm pulled Mac into his arms and mindlessly began doodling on her arm as he stared ahead at nothing in particular, occasionally stealing a glance in her direction.
"You don't mind that she calls me Mom, do you?"
"Of course not! It's what I had hoped for, that we could be a family. That she would be that child we promised each other so long ago." Harm went to kiss the top of Mac's head just as she looked up to say something, his lips landed somewhere around the bridge of her nose sending the two into a fit of giggles. Within seconds their jumbled laughter gave way to a heated gaze, and soon they had fallen into a searing kiss filled with all the emotions and passions of the day.
Sunday was oddly ordinary. Everyone continued unpacking and falling into what would soon be a normal routine. Harm noticed Mac seemed a bit edgy but chalked it up to the weight of the reality of the whole 'Mom and Dad' thing. He tried to talk to her about it from time to time, but she brushed it off as nothing, and he wasn't prepared to cause any unexpected trouble by pushing.
By Monday morning, Harm knew something was up. Mac woke up even more jumpy than she'd been the day before. She'd gone out for a quick run to the grocery store late Sunday to stock the shelves and when Harm came up behind her to kiss her hello, she almost jumped out of her skin. He was simply going to have to find a way to make her talk, and soon, or he wouldn't get a single thing accomplished all day worrying about her.
Sitting at the island counter, watching her pour another cup of coffee, Harm ventured out into new waters. "Mac, I can tell something's bothering you. Won't you please tell me? Maybe I can help." Harm set his cup on the counter.
"I'm... fine. It's just that this is all so new, and now we have to get a dog, too." Mac realized that made no sense, but the words were out of her mouth before her brain had a chance to edit.
"You're upset about getting a dog? We can explain to Chris that we need to wait, to settle in first." Harm walked over to where Mac was standing. This had nothing to do with a dog, and he knew it. Mac had taken Jingo on without hesitation. The thought of getting a dog wouldn't have her this...jittery.
"It's just a lot to get used to." Mac stirred a teaspoon of sugar into her coffee.
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he wasn't surprised when she tensed nervously before slowly relaxing against him. "What is it really? Tell me." He kissed the back of her neck lightly, not in an attempt to arouse, but to reassure.
Closing her eyes tightly, and taking a deep breath, she reached into her bathrobe pocket and slipped something into Harm's hand, then pulled away to turn and see his face.
Harm stared for a long moment at the long white stick, then up at Mac, his face a blank slate, expressionless. After what seemed like an eternity to Mac, she noticed one eyebrow climb to his hairline as the corner of his mouth twitched awkwardly upward.
"Is this what I think it is?" By now the other corner of his mouth was tugging upward as well.
Mac nodded her head. "Something Harriet said Saturday about always being too tired when you're pregnant got me thinking. The doctor seemed so sure that I would never conceive that I never gave birth control a second thought. Not that I would have wanted to," she added rather smartly. "There's just so much going on now, so much to adjust to, and what will Chris think?"
"The same thing I do. You're going to be a great mom and I love you, Sarah MacKenzie. Marry me? Now, today, and it's not Sunday. We can get a license and be married before Chris gets home from school." Harm's eyes were twinkling brighter than the North Star. His lips were gently kissing her forehead, coaxing her into the words he wanted to hear. Suddenly everything he'd ever wanted was within his reach, a life, a home with Mac, and now a child with her looks or brains.
"Harm, we can't get married today anymore than we could get married the last time you said that. City hall may be open, but your mother would still kill us!" Mac tried hard not to laugh at him.
"Okay, then marry me Saturday. It only takes five hours to fly from San Diego, and for this, my mom would strap on wings herself." Harm rested his forehead against hers, resisting the temptation to kiss her silly.
"Harm, that's only five days away." Mac let her fingers reach up and toy with the lapels of his bathrobe.
"Then next Saturday. We can scrounge up an honor guard, get married at the chapel, and have a small dinner party anywhere that will take us. If our friends want to fly in they can, and if they can't, we'll send pictures." Harm stole a short kiss. "Say yes, Mac. I don't want to wait any longer. Say yes."
Mac smiled broadly. There was no way she could resist those puppy dog eyes, and she did so want to be his wife.
"Okay, next Saturday it is." She closed the gap between them capturing his lips with hers, resisting the urge to carry this to a level they couldn't possibly consider and still be on time for work.