Thanks to all my lovely reviews this chapter is for you all.
Chapter 2 "Two quarters of heart down"
Friday night was a bust Keely had to go home at eleven and Phil fell asleep around twelve thirty, Pim did what she did every night, she thought up ways to take over the world. Saturday night was better they ended up staying up entirely too late, Keely slept over after she got finished baby sitting and they all slept in the master bedroom in Lloyd and Barbara's king sized bed. They ate mass amounts of junk food and watched scary movies.
Sunday afternoon Phil woke when he could no longer ignore the glare of the sun or his own bladder. However, he could do nothing about either problem due to the fact that a certain blonde best friend of his was wrapped around him, like a Keely blanket or something. He wouldn't have minded this, except for the fact that he'd had about eighteen Dr. Peppers the night before.
"Keely," he whispered in her ear as he gently nudged her.
She moaned and buried her face in his neck and curled around him tighter, he sighed he couldn't take this seriously; she tended to use him for a pillow on numerous occasions and cuddle with him every chance she got. They were friends nothing more.
Phil smiled; she didn't need to know how he felt or how beautiful he thought she was.
"Keel." He tried again.
She stirred this time, lifting her head and opening her green eyes to gaze at him.
"Hey." She mumbled rolling off him and on to her back.
"Hey yourself sleepy head." he said getting out of bed, being careful not to wake Pim she would be awful cranky if he woke her up.
He went to the bathroom washed up and then he came back to get in bed, Keely was up at the head of the bed propped up on pillows flicking through the channels on TV. Phil couldn't help but smile and think the thoughts he didn't allow himself to think. Thoughts of what it was like to be with her. To really be with her, to allow himself to really love her.
She looked pretty lying there, she wasn't wearing a trace of make up and her hair was mussed from sleep. She was wearing the white tank top she'd worn to go baby sit and pair of his boxers she had borrowed to sleep in. If anyone were to see them now they would think they were a couple.
She noticed him staring at her and blushed, "I know I look a mess."
"You look fine," Phil said choosing his words carefully.
"You're just saying that because you're my bestest friend." Keely said smiling.
Phil got into bed and lay down beside her, "That's not it. A lot of girls would kill to look the way you do."
"Well, then how come I don't have a date for Valentines Day?" Keely asked.
"I thought we decided that this holiday was for the sappy and the rich. So what if those assholes at school can't see what a great girl you are. It's their loss." Phil said.
"You're right Phil. And if those stupid whores can't see what a sweetie you are it's their loss two."
"So are we still getting drunk under the bleachers before the dance?" Phil asked.
"You know it." Keely said.
"Less talky more sleeping!" the lump of covers at the foot of the bed otherwise known as Pim yelled.
"I'm surprised you could hear anything over the sound of your snoring." Phil said.
Pim mumbled something unintelligible.
"It's three in the afternoon, get up and join the living." Phil said.
Pim raised her hand from the covers to give Phil the finger, "That's one thing about this century that will never get old." She laughed.
"In the future, that means peace, love, and crabs. However we discovered that in this century it means something totally different." Phil explained to Keely.
"Why crabs?"
"A marketing thing from Joe's Crab shack and the Mom's of America association." Phil explained.
"Would you just shut it already, Mister Know It All?" Pim asked, "I need rest to be able to carry out my evil plans. You do want to me to sabotage the dance don't you?" Pim asked peeking her head out of the covers.
"Yeah, but by the time you do I don't think we'll notice, we're going to be six sheets to the wind." Phil said.
"That's three sheets Phil." Keely said, said shaking her head at her best friend from the future, he never got 21st century expressions right.
"I'm intending to be drunker than that." Phil smirked.
"I thought you two were all straightedge." Pim said.
"Well, I cannot watch those lovey dovey happy couples dance around all night without a hit of something. And I'd prefer it to be shot of vodka rather than a joint." Phil said.
"Owen had some good–" Keely stopped herself when Phil turned to look at her sharply.
"Good what?" Phil asked.
"Good uh…" Keely didn't want to talk about the time she'd smoked out with Owen.
"Cock!" Pim shouted.
"What?" Both Keely and Phil asked.
"Out the window dumb and dumber." Pim said pointing at the rooster in their driveway.
"Wow that's a big cock." Phil stated.
"That so didn't sound right." Pim responded.
"What? It is." Phil said.
"It's still so wrong." Keely said, "I thought your parents said no chickens." Keely said.
"It's in the driveway not the house, so technically we aren't breaking any rules." Phil pointed out.
"I'm gonna kill it and fry us some chicken." Pim said darting away from the window and out of the room.
"What the hell?" Phil asked.
"It's a defenseless barnyard animal and she wants to kill it. Sometimes I think your sister has no soul."
"Like that evil little girl in the Ring." Phil remarked, "I'm surprised mom and dad haven't trapped her down a well yet." Phil said.
"Oh! We've got to stop her." Keely said remembering the poor rooster.
They ran down the stairs after Pim, who had a three and half minute head start only to find her in the kitchen making herself some coffee.
"It's a replicate it has to be." Phil said.
"You actually think I would step out of that door with out a drop of coffee in me?" Pim asked laughing manically, "And I wouldn't dare kill Henry he's my pet it's hard to find a rooster that is a smart as Henry."
Phil rolled his eyes, and headed for the fridge, "So what do you have planned for the dance?"
"This is more than your typical bucket of pig's blood and a rope shenanigan. A plan such as mine is delicate, intricate, and top secret. Are you two down?"
"Way down…" Keely said.
"Will we need code names?" Phil asked.
Pim looked at him as if he'd lost his mind, "If you want Dash Unicorn."
"You told her?" Phil asked.
"It was funny, and you did it to yourself." Keely said.
"Alright fine whatever, I'm Grand Mistress Hustler." Pim said.
"Okay I'm Dirk Diggler." Phil said.
"Ooh can I be Roller Girl?" Keely asked.
"This is gonna to be so fun." Pim muttered.
"Now that that's out of the way, somebody get over here and make me breakfast." Pim said.
"Pim, if you think–" Phil started.
"It's Grand Mistress Hustler to you." Pim said bringing down the riding crop she had hidden in her other hand down hard on the counter.
"Mom said to get rid of it after that whole bondage video incident." Phil said.
"Phil, do you see Mom anywhere around here?" Pim said.
Phil didn't say anything he crossed his arms over his chest.
"That's' what I thought now get to work. I can't make fiendish plans on an empty stomach." Pim said.
"Alright! But I'm doing this for the cause." Phil said.
"Quit your bitching would you? I'm starving like Melvin." Pim said.
Keely shook her head, "That's starving like Marvin. Don't they teach you anything in the 22nd century?"
"We need to go to store and pick up some things for the party sometime today or tomorrow." Pim reminded them.
"We can just use the Wizard to get that later." Phil said.
"No! We need to go to grocery store!" Pim shrieked.
"This has nothing to do with the fact that Little Danny is working there?" Keely asked.
"Wrong again Blondie. Get your head off Phil's lap and start paying attention to things." Pim said trying hard not to smile.
"What? That was one time, I feel asleep." Keely said defensively.
"Pim, would you just let it go and face the fact that you have crush on Little Danny. You're like a squirrel dragging around some nuts." Phil said as he mixed the batter for the pancakes.
"What do you care? You know you like it when she's all over you." Pim said, Phil and Keely both blushed and looked at each other.
"Because they are my nuts, now leave it be." Phil said.
"Do you want to know the real reason no one asked the two of you out this Venereal Disease Day?" Pim asked.
"What did you?" Phil asked.
"I didn't do anything dear brother. I didn't have to." Pim said.
"Would you just tell us why we didn't get asked out?" Keely asked throwing bacon into a skillet.
"I think it would be better if you found out on your own."
"Pim." Phil growled the doorbell rang cutting off what he had to say.
"I'll get it," Keely said wanting to leave the kitchen before the Diffy siblings started World War III.
She went to the door forgetting about how disheveled she looked still dressed in a pair of Phil's boxers which were rolled up on her slim hips and her tank top she went to the door.
It was none other than Principal Hackett.
"Miss Teslow, do you ever go home?" Hackett asked.
"Sometimes." Keely responded.
"Are the elder Diffy's around? I have an important matter to discuss with them about the rooster that is keeping up a terrible racket in the backyard." Hackett said.
"They went away for Venereal Disease Day." Keely said cheerfully as she started to close the door, "I'll tell them you came by."
Hackett stuck out his foot not allowing her to close the door and pushed it hard, sending Keely who was half leaning on the door careening to the ground.
"Whoa!" she yelped hitting the carpet.
"Keel what did you this time get tangled in the cable wires?" Phil asked walking in from the kitchen.
"I see what's going on here." Hackett said.
"Vice Principal Hackett what are you doing here? And Keely why are you on the floor?" Phil asked.
"You have your girl/boy slumber parties make noise all night keeping the neighborhood awake doing God only knows what. And then you have this rooster perched up on your picnic table crowing and keeping up more noise so I can't nap in the day time." Hackett said.
"What are you talking about we were quiet last night, except formy screaming." Keely said.
Hackett ignored Keely and spoke only to Phil, "The screaming and the crowing has got to go. Or I'm going to the homeowner's association."
"Face it Neil wecan be as loud as we want and you don't see anyone else complaining." Pim said walking out of the kitchen, "do you? Nobody cares! As for my cock out there, it can crow all day long because that's what roosters do. And there is no where in the neighborhood zoning rules that say he can't be out there."
Hackett's mouth opened and he stood there gaping, it was the first time any of them had seen him speechless, since well Pim had embarrassed him in front of the whole school taking away his tie after the principal for a day fiasco over a year ago.
"Grand Mistress Hustler has spoken, be gone." Pim told Hackett.
"You might be sassy right now, but come tomorrow morning you're mine I've got the three of you for the next few years you're mine." Hackett gave a weasely laugh and left.
"Okay, we've really got to screw up that dance now." Phil said.