Chapter 3 "We're falling apart to half time"
Monday morning arrived faster than Pim would have liked, she'd only designed the plans for evil scheme so far. Keely was due any moment with supplies. Pim's darling brother was in the mirror priming trying to make the correct pieces of his hair stand up. Sometimes he took longer to get ready than all the women Pim knew combined.
Keely burst through the door talking rapidly doing tricks on her roller skates, Pim didn't understand or care about any of the gossip that usually came forth from the taller blonde's lips but she couldn't have possibly heard what she thought she heard.
"What!" Pim shouted.
"I said Little Danny is taking Candida to the dance." Keely said spinning a circle.
"NO!" Pim shrieked she was going to have a heart attack.
Phil came running downstairs, "Pim what happened did you look in the toaster and not see a reflection?"
Pim clutched her heart and glared at her brother, "This is not the time for jokes. If you need me I'll be in the garage, in the car with a hose."
She never thought that it would happen the evil of all evils. No matter how much she denied it she liked Little Danny. Pim had never felt like that before she wanted to throw up, and her heart hurt. She walked from the kitchen more despondent than she'd ever been, nothing got to her ever she'd always won even though she got into trouble a lot but Little Danny was always right there with her in detention. To lose him to her worst enemy was a devastating blow.
"Pim, what's wrong?" Phil asked grabbing her by the arm.
"Oh, she's sad because Candida is going to the dance with Little Danny." Keely said as if it had just occurred to her.
"Oh my God she really does like him." Keely said.
"Thanks for the observation. Tie your tubes genius!" Pim said wrenching her arm away from her brother and falling into the nearest chair.
"I think she's going to cry, the world is going to end." Phil joked.
"Phil, that's insensitive. You're sister has been crushed by her first crush. You know how that feels." Keely said.
"Yeah, I know better than you'd think." Phil responded.
"Okay, could you can it with the whole wounded unrequited love thing? You two are really creeping me out." Pim stated.
"Fine, seriously are you okay?" Phil asked.
"I'm not okay, I promise. But they won't be okay either; no one crosses Grand Mistress Hustler and gets away with it. They want a war they got a war." Pim said scowling as she scrubbed the tear lone tear that had fallen from her eyes off her cheek.
"Okay, Roller Girl get me some coffee and my plans. Dirk bring me the cock, we're going to school." Pim said barking out orders.
Phil smiled and went to go get the rooster off the lawn. Fortunately, it was a lot nicer to him than it had been to Hackett when he tried to get rid of it.
"I know the rule about no live poultry in the house I wonder if that goes for mom's van too?" Phil wondered aloud.
"It's too late to worry about that," Pim said walking out of the house with a spiked collar, something else left over from the bondage video.
Keely skated out of the house, and Phil noticed for the first time what she was wearing a short pink ruffled mini and rainbow stockings with a black hooded sweater. He took entirely too much time staring at her and she stared right back.
Pim honked the car horn, "Quit drooling over each other and get over here. I've got to torture about seven hundred people. And I don't have time for you two to be making googly eyes at each other."
Keely skated down the driveway to the van, and Phil got in to the van and started it.
"I am going to have fun today, and people will cry." Pim said forcing a smile.
The school day passed uneventfully, with lots of crying screaming and that was just from Hackett.
"Today was a good day, I feel really good about the damage factor." Pim said opening up the blue prints for her plan.
"I'll have to admit it was cool seeing a group of people stampede." Phil said, "But at least you didn't take things too far."
"Making Henry here look six feet tall as he charged down the hall it was nothing." Pim waved her hand dismissively, "I'm saving all the sinister brilliance for tomorrow night."
Phil smiled, and went back to looking at the design plans over Pim shoulder. He watched in horror as she ripped up her intricate plans complete with an exploding mozzarella sticks at the snack table and foaming punch. Releasing letting go all the lab rats a letting the scamper around the gym was the icing on the cake.
"Scrap that it's back to the drawing board." Pim said pulling out a sketch pad.
"What are you doing? Your plan was perfect for an evil plan that is." Phil said.
"It only works with four people, and since obviously I'm missing my sidekick. It had to be done away with." Pim stated.
"I made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." Keely said skating in with a tray of sandwiches.
"You can take that all back into the kitchen; I don't have time to eat. And take Phil with you he keeps disturbing my thought processes." Pim said.
"Alright." Phil said and the left Pim alone to plan.
Phil and Keely sat in the kitchen talking about nothing in particular and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches until Pim came running in screaming, "I've got it!"
"This is what we have to do." Pim said showing them the sketches she'd made.
They were drawings of the layout for the dance; couples swaying on the dance floor, Little Danny up in the D. J. booth, or a least Phil thought it was with out the head and the axe going through his neck it very well it could have been anyone.
The three of them were on the far left of the detailed drawing; the figure he assumed was Keely wearing an ankle length skirt and jean jacket, he was in the middle sipping punch and darting his eyes around nervously dressed in his Ohio is for lovers t-shirt. He recognized Pim immediately with her arm around none other than Seth Wasumer.
"What's that guy's name?" Pim asked Phil.
"How did you draw him you don't even know his name?" Keely asked.
"She has this thing, she sees something once she can draw it full scale." Phil explained.
Pim whacked him on the shoulder, "Can we focus please tell me if he's available for the dance. I need someone to make Little Danny jealous."
"That's Seth and he's always available." Phil said.
"Get him we've got a little more than twenty four hours before operation, get my sidekick back and make Candida's life a living hell begins."
"What?" Phil asked.
"It's all very simple, you will escort Roller Girl to the dance. And your friend Seth will take me. Seth will be enamored with me and Danny will come crying back. When Candida gets her little prize for being Sweetheart of the Dance, I dump a bucket of chicken poo on her head. Got it. Good." Pim said.
"At least we can take that exploding cheese back," Keely said.
Phil sighed and went to call Seth, he was glad Pim had changed her mind about the other plan even thought it was brilliant.
"The stage is set, and so is the trap." Pim said laughing, "They'll never cross me again."
Keely skated away from Pim, "It freaks me out when she talks to herself." She called after Phil.
Next chapter, "She says she's no good with words but I'm worse."
Enter Seth Wasumer. Dirk, Roller Girl, and the Grand Mistress infiltrate the dance.Will Dannypantsed or while he and Pim reconcile? Phil gets drunk, Keely has to take care of him, Candida gets what she desereves. Stay tuned for more.