Disclaimer-Oh, how I wished I owned D.C comic characters. But I don't. Enjoy anyway.
X.x…x.X
"Aw, come on Harls. Smile for Daddy?"
She let out a sigh, almost as low as her sane voice. She hadn't jumped on him and tried to take his pants off when he gave her the roses, didn't shove her tongue down his throat for the money, didn't even promise to "take him 'round the world" tonight, on their mattress with the springs poking out for the diamond ring. And that unsettled him, more than the fact that he would actually let her do those things to her. But it was her birthday, she only turned thirty once. Apparently, that was one time too many. The boys were upset, they hated seeing their mother upset. They licked her and gave her love bites that bled like crazy up until a few minutes ago. He didn't even get a, "Oh, Puddin, you're the best!" When he (rather forcefully) shoved her face in the cake he had stolen from some toddler's birthday. Harley was upset. And it bothered him. And bothering about Harley bothered him.
"Come on Harley dear. You haven't even opened your present from Pam. It's probably something fun…that might poison us, but she made sure you're immune to that!"
Another sigh; longer and huffier than the next. She was still in her pajamas, the red negligee that he secretly loved, and wanted to take off. This time, the exasperation in her moan was more obvious; turning another year older was seriously bothering her. The Joker was already dreading her thirty-first, and was considering offing her, just so he wouldn't have to put up with this again.
"Oh, Mr.J, you don't understand. I wasn't dropped in a vat of acid like you were. Soon I'll be saggy, and wrinkly, and c'mon. I know you think I'm the most beautiful thing ever, but even you won't wanna see me in my suit, in my nightgown, in nothing, before long."
That caused a burst of tears, more obnoxious than her moaning because of the helium-voiced sobs coming out of her. He was starting to get pissed off, didn't want to deal with her anymore, but also wanted birthday sex. The need to get into bed with his moll was overweighing his dislike for her antics. So, he patted her on the back, held her closing, one hand casually creeping towards a breast, still perky despite her belief, and crooned into her ear, "C'mon Harley dear. I'll never leave you. And if you get crows-eyes, I'll just dip you in a vat of acid. Now, why don't you thank me properly for those presents?" He tweaked her nipple, and wiped the tears from her baby blue eyes. To his delight, she actually giggled.
"Alright Puddin. Let me take you around the world."