Hold On
By Dan'yu
Chapter Three: Dreams
He awoke to a strange, languid feeling of complete contentment, comfort, and satisfaction. Blinking eyes heavy with sleep in an attempt to clear his blurry vision, he stretched his lethargic limbs, arching his back in a manner true to any feline. He let out a soft sigh of pleasure. In the years and months of dark anticipation that had haunted him as he counted down to the time of his "caging", he had begun to take the time to appreciate the simple things in life. The sensual feeling of cool, clean sheets against naked skin being one of them.
He threw back the sheets, rolling his body into a sitting position at the side of the bed. A momentary rustle of the bedclothes, and a pair of slender arms encircled his waist, the foreign warmth of another's body hovering just behind his back. He fought against his instinct, the desire to lean back and feel the momentary pleasure of body-to-body contact, a luxury long denied to any Jyuunishi. But still, the heat of another body was a delightful and strange concept to any cursed soul, and he savored it while he could, all too aware that their time was drawing to a close.
He smiled, a lazy, indulgent grin that accompanied the unusually soft and open expression lingering from the previous night's loving, reaching for her hand. He studied the only place they could fully touch without fear, watching as their fingers entwined tightly, fitting together perfectly in a simple but intimate gesture. Her hand felt so small and delicate wrapped in his own, impossibly immaculate against his rough and clumsy palm, stained with years of tainted history. And yet she overlooked it all, to be with him now in his last few hours of freedom.
The contrast of their skin tones was obvious, as he lay his arms under hers, idly skimming his fingers up the smooth expanse of pale, flawless skin, the touch no more than the whisper of a caress as it lingered at the curve of her arm, eliciting soft, breathless laughter in his ear as he brushed over the sensitive point. He smirked, cocking an eyebrow in surprise. So she was ticklish?
She squealed with surprise and delight as he suddenly whirled around, digging his fingers into her ribs as he tickled her. His body leaned over her, his face animated with boyish glee as she collapsed in helpless laughter, begging him to stop with bated breath between giggles.
He released her, bracing his weight on his elbows as he stared down at her, appearing extremely pleased with himself. Her face flushed and her eyes bright, she glared at him to the best of her ability, though coming from Tohru the expression came off as more similar to a petulant pout. Kyou smiled indulgently. There was not a vengeful bone in her entire body, he was sure, as he slipped her arms around her and rolled unto his back, cradling her slim body close to his side. She let her head fall back against his shoulder, and soft lips brushed over his skin, a chaste kiss pressed to the nape of his neck. She spoke quietly, her breath a warm caress over sensitive skin. He could just imagine the endearing blush likely to grace her face as she whispered to him. "Aishiteru, Kyou-kun."
He turned his head, brushing her lips with his own in a whisper soft kiss. "Kyou," he breathed, allowing his mouth to linger for only a moment before descending in a trail of warm, light kisses, pausing to nuzzle the hollow of her throat.
Her hands clenched at his broad shoulders for some form of support as her body went weak and languid as he pressed her back against the bed. "Ky-Kyou," she repeated obediently, her voice faltering in the wake of a breathless gasp. One hand ascended over smooth muscles and the tanned column of his neck to tangle in the silky hairs at his nape, pulling him down into another kiss as he repeated her previous confession in low, husky tones thick with passion. "Aishiteru, Tohru-koishii."
The faintest of light streamed from the open window nearby, the curtains drawn back to reveal the skies overhead, vaguely lit with the amber traces of early dawn. Morning had finally come, and their time was growing shorter.
Kyou's body jerked forward with all the force of a man fleeing for his life, breaking the stifling silence of the dark room with his muffled cry, followed by the harsh panting of his breath as his body trembled in the aftereffects of the dream.
He rubbed a hand over his face in an attempt to clear his muddled thoughts. Grimy fingers touched to the moisture lingering from sweat and his own tears, the dirt smeared across sallow cheeks unseen in the impenetrable black enveloping his cage.
Tangled, matted hair grown long and ragged during his imprisonment fell around his face, veiling the shocked expression crossing his face. Astonished, he brushed away the tears pooling in his eyes and trailing down flushed skin. When was the last time he had allowed himself to cry?
The question remained unanswered as he surrendered to the release.
xx
When nearly all the Jyuunishi (with the exception of Kureno, Rin, and Ritsu) all flocked to Hatori's clinic at the news of Tohru's collapse, Yuki could not bring himself to be surprised. From the youngest to the eldest, the most solemn to the most perverted (Yuki's expression darkened at the thought of Shigure's perverted teasing toward the naïve Tohru), they all cared for Tohru in their own special way. Though some of them would be stubbornly reluctant to admit it, there was a special quality to the softhearted girl that melted the most difficult among them, and there was no dispelling the affection that grew toward her.
So it was only natural that news of her illness caught the attention of the Sohmas who cherished her so, this solitary light in their dark existence. Yuki kept up the solitary presence he had maintained since arriving at the clinic, brooding silently over the troubling thoughts taking unwelcome refuge in his mind.
The light pressure of a hand on his shoulder, and he had to force himself not to flinch away, despite the familiarity of the touch. It was the accustomed trait of a Jyuunishi to fear any physical contract, after all.
But the gentle, unintrusive touch lingered, and he glanced up to find himself under the scrutiny of his cousin's concerned gaze. His customary blank expression abandoned in favor of a worried frown, the younger boy studied the other closely, catching a glimpse of the shadowed thoughts usually so effectively hidden in Yuki's eyes. The nezumi had a habit of hiding his emotions, something he was usually successful at attempting, but no one escaped revelation under Haru's eerie ability to read into the hearts of others, Yuki being no exception.
"Do you want to tell me what's bothering you?"
Yuki scoffed, an uncharacteristic gesture from the soft-spoken young man, as disgusted with himself as he was with the thoughts racing through his head. "I'm being a selfish brat and I know it," he murmured, averting his eyes from his cousin's unnerving stare, "But I can't help being jealous. How pathetic does that make me?"
"I think it makes the great Prince Yuki as human as the rest of us." When the gray-haired boy shot him a dark look, the ox grinned good-naturedly. "Had to snap you out of your self-pity somehow. You're stronger than that, Yuki. Even if you don't know it, I sure as hell do. You've loved her for so long; it's only natural that you're a little jealous. You just can't let it control you."
Yuki softly exhaled, relieved to feel the tension releasing from his body as effectively as the used breath. "How do you do that, Haru? How do you let yourself be so concerned over others when you're hurting inside yourself?"
Stormy emotions passed over the serene gray of Hatsuharu's eyes, gone as quickly as they had appeared. He rested his hand on his shorter cousin's head of silvery hair in a strange but simple gesture of affection. "I'd like to think that even if I can't do anything about my own situation, I can do something to help the people I care about. I do care about you, Yuki. And I'm not the only one."
Yuki squirmed under the touch, backing away from the sudden discomfort of their interaction. "I know that." His voice sounded strained even to his own ears. "It's just…"
"Hard to accept? A lifetime of cruelty by the people you call family can do that to you." With the sudden distance in his eyes, Yuki had a feeling there were undercurrents to his companion's words he did not completely understand.
"How's your situation with Rin?"
Right on the mark. Haru grimaced, leaned against the wall behind him and folding his arms across his chest as he sighed. "Fair's fair I guess. She still refuses to see me, let alone talk to me. I just don't know. I starting to think that maybe I was wrong. Maybe…maybe I really don't have any chance…maybe she really doesn't love me anymore."
His eyes softening with sympathy, Yuki reached out to touch the other's arm. "Haru…"
The other boy shook his head, his dual-colored hair ruffling in the force of the gesture. "Change of topic. It's Honda-san we should be worrying about. Tell me, is she really pregnant?"
Still dazed himself over the news, Yuki could only nod. "Hai. That I know of. I still haven't really talked to her. Once Hatori convinced me she was alright, I was shoved aside by the others."
Haru smiled. "They're just worried about her. Hatori's there, though, in case Momiji gets too excited or Ayame or Sensei get any strange ideas." A thoughtful look passed over his face. "So Honda-san's having a baby…that's an interesting development."
Yuki sighed, staring forlornly at the ceiling with blank eyes. "I knew they had gotten closer before he left, but…I never imagined they were that close."
"So it's Kyou's kid then?"
Yuki whirled on him then, clearly indignant. "Of course it is! Who else's would it be?"
Haru spread his hands in a gesture of defense, his lips upturning in an amused smile. "Calm down, boyo. It was just an innocent question."
Yuki rolled his eyes, unable to resist a faint smile as he slumped back against the wall beside his cousin. It was an irritating quality that Haru possessed, to have the ability to cause a complete turnaround in his mood no matter how strange the situation.
Some things, especially from childhood, were hard to let go of. Even so, it was a friendship he found far too rare, too precious to break.